I've got a question, McFlabbergasty.
Why did Luke and Leia keep the nature of Han's death a secret from Jeni?
I mean, Anakin Skywalker was basically Luke's entire reason for becoming a Jedi, so I understand why his fall was not told to Luke. However, Han's death at the hands of a crime syndicate isn't nearly as horrible as being twisted by evil and gaining a robot suit, committing genocide and fighting against everything that Luke stands for. It seems like Leia, and especially Luke, would be above such petty deception. And anyway, Jeni is supposed to be Force sensitive, and her mother is telepathic. Wouldn't they know that she would probably have the same abilities, and find the truth easily?
But that's just a small detail. Overall, it's pretty good, and I could definitely see Disney going with a story like this. The young, female lead, the derelict remains of the Falcon, the Jedi path, all things that an audience would expect from a sequel to Return of the Jedi. The smaller scale of the conflict (at this point), the echo of Luke's temptation to the Dark Side, the lack of the two droids, are elements that I wouldn't expect in the sequels. I like that Han, Chewie, and the droids all died. Their character arcs were pretty well over anyway.
You may want to illustrate why we should care more about Jeni than we do about Luke and Leia. After all, we've been with them for three movies, and they still seem active in the galaxy at this time. What does Jeni bring to the table that Luke or Leia can't? What makes them unable to truly understand her quest, and what makes her quest suited to her alone? Just some things to consider, if you haven't already.
I'd like to see where it goes!