Big thanks to JJB for this one:
https://mega.nz/file/nF8hiDwK#1obHdPFNsNxM6WyvUmW42WvU-MIJ4qulozmD8Jgb0Q8
The mouth movements need finessing, but I’m pretty happy with how it sounds!
JEDIT: Preliminary mouth movements:
https://mega.nz/file/fIUkXTzb#lSclh17TANgPlmELWxxc99CNYqHEGfEjzc6cMwSkcBA
Still more work to be done, but it’s coming along!
I didn’t want to add that line until the deleted scene featuring that officer is incorporated as well, I figured that would be the time to finalize that character. I’ve just removed the shot of C-3PO that was going to cover the line, so version 1.1 will be the original line reading, version 2 will be the altered line.
I’ve already gotten some feedback saying that Leia’s line about the Senate still needs work, so I’ve split the difference between the cobbled line and the AI line, combining them into one:
https://mega.nz/file/PQkBVYRY#BMz9Utfwwm0jjIhQFIUxvMNoEkSLggFsmnvdfk-hDDM
I also noticed a weird hum in 3PO’s new line, so that has been isolated and removed.
Quality discussion here 😉
And PM sent.
“Forgive me. I feel it again. The pull of the light. Show me again, the power of the darkness…and I will let nothing stand in our way. Show me…and I will finish what you started.”
The reason I removed the ‘Supreme Leader’ line in particular was due to some feedback that said it was confusing to introduce the Supreme Leader while Kylo is ostensibly praying to Vader, and I agreed.
The user also mentioned that this scene of weakness is more appropriate for later in the film, but I humbly disagree. We see Kylo saddled with complexity and familial connections in the first scene:
‘I will show you the Dark Side.’
‘You will try… buy you cannot escape the truth…that is your family.’
So it only makes sense to explore that implied weakness, and since it’s already established it doesn’t matter too much where that goes in the film.
Also, when watching the whole edit the other night for the first time in a while, I found that I appreciated the slow scenes. Deleting lines from this one to slow the pace made it feel more like a moment of religious devotion.
The Senate is both supporting and not supporting the Resistance, at least in canon. I interpret Leia’s statement ‘Not all of the Senators think I’m crazy…or maybe they do, I don’t care’ as her having some support but she turns this into a joke that everyone, even her supporters, thinks she’s crazy. So I’m fine with saying that the Republic is supporting the Resistance, and Hux sees it that way as well. It puts the Republic and the Resistance on the same side in any case, which is helpful.
…
Okay, with that I’m putting out a new Workprint. Here’s the changelist for everything I can remember changing from the previous version:
-Tweaked the timing of opening logos
-Replaced the crawl and adjusted its timing to move more quickly
-Fixed video quality loss during first scene of V1
-Partially removed stray power window present in original film when Finn wakes up from the crash
-Adjusted color grade of Jakku during the dusk scene, Finn crash landing and wandering the desert, and the Falcon chase
-Adjusted dialogue of Kylo’s Prayer to focus solely on his weakness, avoiding talk of family and Supreme Leader
-Adjusted Vader’s mask so that the cut looks more like a mouth opening
-Adjusted audio level for TR-8R’s new dialogue, added distortion
-Adjusted audio level for Han and Leia discussing Ben, finessed audio transition to next scene
-Added AI line to Resistance Battle Plan Meeting, and added shot of 3PO for the inclusion of a future line
-Adjusted audio of Starkiller charging, removed stray audio that bled into Rey’s escape scene
-Finessed audio transition when combining shots of Poe’s first Oscillator attack
-Removed errant footsteps while Rey is on the wall
-Added the line ‘forgive me’ to Kylo’s Falcon scene, adjusted music to fit
-Added C-3PO shot and dialogue ‘And their weapon will fire in ten minutes! Without the Republic fleet we’re doomed!’
-Removed voiceovers from Han and Kylo’s reunion, added a shot of Finn, added Force interrogation rumble
-Brightened Rey’s Sith eyes
-Applied color grade to dark forest shot left ungraded
-Re-foleyed the Falcon escape from Starkiller Base, added extra shot of the ships going to Hyperspace, changed musical cue to end on that shot, and removed music from the arrival at D-Qar
-Adjusted numerous audio glitches throughout the edit, moved stereo music to proper stereo tracks
-Other changes that I’m just forgetting 😉
I hope that this version solves the problem of mono music tracks, but there are just so many audio tracks on my timeline that I expect that this has been only partially solved. If you notice a spot where there there is a problem, do let me know.
This workprint is available via PM, and uses the same folder that contains the ‘Final V1’ 5 GB file, so if you have a link to that or to a prior workprint, you should have access to this already. If not let me know! I’m hoping to have a quick turnaround on this so I’ll probably be rendering a final version within the next few days.
Thanks!
That will be included.
Wow, thanks y’all! I’ll see if I can’t have that 1.1 version out soon, then it’s on to 2.0.
For the final paragraph, is it better to describe the band of rebels as ‘daring’ or should I refer to the Republic as ‘new’? That’s the question. Perhaps 'tis better to remove ‘daring’ because it’s just one more bit of wordiness while ‘New Republic’ doesn’t read as any more wordy.
Very well, how about this:
In an act of RESISTANCE,
a band of rebels armed
by the New Republic has
sent their greatest pilot
to Jakku, desperate to
find the last Jedi and
restore peace and justice
to the darkening stars…
I think we all watched his stuff back then, and one day we all just…stopped.
Oh very well, I’ll poke around in this can of worms again 😉
You have good points, and I agree with almost everything. I was trying to be clever by stating that the goal of the First Order was to destroy any attempt to find Luke, since as you say nobody but Kylo wants to actually find him again. But it is a bit wordy. I don’t want to have the First Order declare specifically that they wish for regime change, since that would probably require action on the part of the Republic, but I would like to keep it more subtle.
The ‘vanquish’ is also fairly difficult coming at the end of the crawl and fair point on the ‘across the stars’ being hopeful.
So perhaps I should just revert things to be a bit shorter and more simple:
EPISODE VII
THE FORCE AWAKENS
The galaxy is in crisis.
Luke Skywalker, striving
to restore the legendary
Jedi Order, has vanished.
Rejoicing in the Jedi’s
downfall, sinister agents
under the command of
the evil FIRST ORDER
have emerged from a
hidden Imperial base to
spread chaos and fear
throughout the grieving
New Republic.
In an act of RESISTANCE,
a daring band of rebels
armed by the Republic
has sent their best pilot
to Jakku, desperate to
find the last Jedi and
restore the light of hope
to the darkening stars…
Of course, this has the unfortunate effect of removing that specific First Order declaration, which means that the First Order is just causing mischief and the idea of Resistance to this general mischief doesn’t seem particularly warranted. Perhaps if I placed the declaration right at the top of the second paragraph, it would avoid the problem of burdening the reader with more complication at the end of the long paragraph:
EPISODE VII
THE FORCE AWAKENS
The galaxy is in crisis.
Luke Skywalker, striving
to restore the legendary
Jedi Order, has vanished.
Declaring that the time
of the Jedi has ended,
sinister agents of the
evil FIRST ORDER have
risen from the shadows
of an Imperial fortress
to sow chaos and fear
throughout the grieving
New Republic.
In an act of RESISTANCE,
a daring band of rebels
armed by the Republic
has sent their best pilot
to Jakku, desperate to
find the last Jedi and
restore peace and justice
to the darkening stars…
I shall use the ranking system of Watched, Mostly Watched, Briefly Watched, and Not Watched:
Watched:
Andor
The Mandalorian
The Book Of Boba Fett
Obi Wan Kenobi
Rebels
Mostly Watched:
Visions
The Clone Wars (2008)
Briefly Watched:
Clone Wars (2003 Genndy Tartakovsky micro-series)
The Bad Batch
Droids (1985)
Not Watched:
Tales Of The Jedi
Ewoks (1985)
Resistance (2018)
This does not necessarily equate to how I would rank the shows if I fully watched them all, for example Book of Boba Fett would be significantly lower in rank than most shows. The only show I would unequivocally recommend right now is Andor.
For V2:
…and more.
A lot of the work on these scenes is already done, but there remains quite a bit to do.
Now that’s really fucking cool.
I’d like an alternate, if you’ll pardon interrupting with something outside this edit, of her saying that they do not know the target.
“The First Order, they’re charging the weapon now. Target unknown.”
If Jar Jar’s up for that, sure, but remember that the mouth movements may need to be changed for that.
Heya Nev, just checking back in here, and I’m really glad to see that you’re still working on Starlight v2!
Okay, here’s version 2:
https://mega.nz/file/bd9ABBzC#rMW8Q-gGe_kyRSr8cDKbx8suklsmjvJkKiB04Yoduec
This sounds really, really good. And well done timing “This is a catastrophe” to 3PO’s little head bobble - it’s tiny details like that that really help to sell the line replacement.
Thanks, and it’s nice to see my efforts acknowledged 😉
Also, since I’m planning to include quite a few more deleted scenes and such for V2, it may take quite some time. Would there be interest in a stopgap version which is essentially that extra coat of polish to V1, audio adjustments, tweaks, crawl replacement and addressing the small quibbles from V1, and call it something like V1.1? I could have that out pretty quickly.
Here’s the crawl that I would put on this version:
(JEDIT: Updated link with new version)
https://mega.nz/file/TYNF1IaJ#Yeo_OtKzCNOXXN8Na4E0A8bIwoutNn1EXox041BwX4M
To be honest, I’m not really sure how I’d be able to keep Ben alive. Like, sure, I could remove the shot of him keeling over; but without any more footage after that, I don’t think the movie would feel complete. That said, I think Movies Remastered might be doing something with keeping Kylo alive - I know he’s floated the idea before, at least - so you may want to look into his work if you’re interested in exploring that angle for the film!
As for the Reylo romance, I think I’m still leaning towards removing it, yes. But the way I have it mapped out, I still want to emphasize their connection and their relationship; I just won’t make that relationship explicitly romantic. I think it’s sort of a “best of both worlds” situation: people like me, who don’t see a romantic connection between them, don’t have an awkward kiss shoved into the film at the last minute; and people like you, who do see it that way, can infer that the romance is there - they just weren’t able to physically act on it before Kylo dies.
I always thought the only way to keep Kylo alive would be to cut him completely from the big Exegol showdown and move his scene with “Han” to the end of the movie (an open, bitter-sweat ending). It could be the last scene of the movie.
It’s like, he came back to the light, but where can he go now? How will he redeem himself?
I believe it’s way better than what we got in the movie (basically Vader 2.0).
Honestly I think it would work if the scene of Kylo bringing Rey back to life ends right after their kiss. Have the music swell and make a new shot of the X-wing and the TIE-fighter (or alternate ship) lifting off of Exegol. They fly together until they approach the victorious Resistance fleet and then Kylo’s ship peels off and disappears into the roiling clouds as Rey rejoins the fleet.
In other words, picture the ROTJ scene that transitions from Jabba’s sail barge exploding to our hero’s ships in space.
Will do!
I’ll check it out!
Relatedly: the prior lines you provided of Leia for the other scenes have a different timbre, which sounds a lot more like the TFA Lego game lines and have that higher, more lighthearted pitch. This line however was pretty perfect, so I wonder if there’s a way to get the other Leia lines sounding like this one. I’m especially hoping that the ‘fleet’ lines can be massaged to work with the deleted scene, because right now they’re much too high to fit with her current tone.
Okay, here’s version 2:
https://mega.nz/file/bd9ABBzC#rMW8Q-gGe_kyRSr8cDKbx8suklsmjvJkKiB04Yoduec
Good thoughts, VV!
I’ve been playing with some AI lines that Jar Jar Bricks has graciously provided, and there is one that I’ve already been able to implement:
https://mega.nz/file/fdVGWITD#W-SkNY4yf0OVjPYbB5WNPGyzUBA19TeoEOeSwZ-yq2U
This is the line where in V1, Leia says 'The First Order…they’re charging the weapon now. The Senate is the target."
It always felt odd to have her say ‘the target’ instead of ‘their target’, so this new version has the updated line generated by AI. I used just the ‘Senate is their’ snippet, but I think it marries quite seamlessly into the flow.
Speaking as one who has seen a bit of what you’ve got in store, count me among those eagerly awaiting this endeavor 😉
Check your PMs 😃
Also, I made a version of this scene with timecode removal for my edit, which solves many of the issues that remained with xxtelecine7xx’s work, and that’s available as well upon request.
Just spitballing here, but the biggest issue with Luke’s death is that it feels a bit random. Like, he could just as easily have lived, so it’s unclear what purpose his death serves.
So what if Luke saw his own death when he confronted Ben, a death he knew would take place on this island? This is hinted at when he says to Rey ‘I came to this island to die’. However, in that context it sounds like he has just given up and figures that this would be as good a place as any to spend the rest of his days, instead of accepting the truth of a vision that is put in motion when he fails to kill Ben.
Perhaps he says something in the Jedi Tree:
“I will never train another generation of Jedi. I came to this island to die…that is my destiny. It is time for the Jedi…to end.”
Just a bit to emphasize that he has seen his own future and believes it to be unchangeable. Therefore when he dies it is in fulfillment of his own vision, but interpreted in a hopeful way that he couldn’t have foreseen.
It is a dark time for the galaxy.
The EMPIRE rules with an iron fist. But amid this tyranny, pockets of resistance have started to form.
Desperate for support, these REBEL groups have turned to a network of secret agents to supply them with stolen Imperial assets.
In possession of a valuable piece of Imperial technology, a young thief prepares to meet the man behind this shadow network…
By that metric, Johnny from The Room is flawless.
Welp, you’ve actually convinced me 😃