I like the idea that Threepio was savvy enough to know about the princess and still play dumb to Luke to protect the mission.
Thanks!
It’s been a while since any updates here, but now I have funds for computer upgrades and hope to resume progress soon.
In the meantime, here’s another crawl for your consideration, again taking some liberties with the canon and geography:
War has scarred the galaxy.
Between the remnants of the
Empire and the new Republic
lies a barren, lawless rift.
Working in secret from
across this dark expanse,
agents of the Empire have
destroyed the Republic’s
first and most noble order,
the mystical Jedi Knights,
and in their place have
declared themselves to be
the true FIRST ORDER.
Believing the leader of the
Jedi still lives, one Republic
general mobilizes a covert
RESISTANCE to search
the barren rift for the last
protector of peace and
justice amid the darkening
stars…
JEDIT: An updated version that is closer to the original, while still retaining some of these ideas:
Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In his absence, hope for the
return of the Jedi Knights
is fading.
Without the protection
of this sacred order, the
Senate of the Republic
is infiltrated by sinister
agents advocating the
return of the Empire and
proclaiming it to be the
true FIRST ORDER of the
galaxy.
Fearing for the Republic’s
very soul, one general
forms a covert RESISTANCE
to this threat and sends
her most daring pilot in
search of the last Jedi
among the darkening
stars…
It’s randomly added to the map of Tatooine in The Complete Locations for some reason. There’s a bunch of lines added to show their journey, and in between the Sandcrawler and Mos Eisley they added that. I can’t see any other source.
That is disappointing, but hardly unexpected. There is but one recourse for such egregious misinformation.
I was browsing the deleted scenes for Star Wars on Wookiepedia, and ran across this scene which was apparently shot:
I’ve never heard of this scene before. Has anyone seen it, or any photos of what was shot?
Has anyone thought of adding city footage from the blade runner films into the prequals?
I mean, I assume you have.
Seriously though, that would be cool.
I don’t have an issue with arcing lasers, but that’s probably because it happens in a movie where shield strength is clearly and visibly localized. I imagine that arcing the plasma to hit a part of the ship even slightly forward from the absolute back of the ship would require the target to shield a larger area and in so doing drain the shields more quickly.
Sort of switching gears here…
Most people would agree that Canto Bight was ultimately superfluous to the story in TLJ. But if it were developed just a bit more, it could be the most interesting commentary on the Star Wars galaxy and meta-commentary on the Star Wars universe that has yet appeared in the movies.
All of the questions about the feasibility of Starkiller and the First Order navy could be answered if it were established that there are certain powerful businesses in the Star Wars galaxy purely interested in constant war for the profit they create. The clues are all there in the sequels, from Jakku to Starkiller to Canto Bight and beyond.
I realize that this is probably the point of Canto Bight, but as it is it feels like a bit of simplistic moralizing instead of a revelation. To make it work I think there would need to be more emphasis on a single huge company or constellation of companies which are basically the puppet-masters in the galaxy.
Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In his absence, the sinister
FIRST ORDER has risen from
the ashes of the Empire
and will not rest until
Skywalker, the last Jedi,
has been destroyed.With the support of the
REPUBLIC, General Leia Organa
leads a brave RESISTANCE.
She is desperate to find her
brother Luke and gain his
help in restoring peace
and justice to the galaxy.Leia has sent her most daring
pilot on a secret mission
to Jakku, where an old ally
has discovered a clue to
Luke’s whereabouts…compared to…
It is a period of civil war.
Rebel spaceships, striking
from a hidden base, have won
their first victory against
the evil Galactic Empire.During the battle, Rebel
spies managed to steal secret
plans to the Empire’s
ultimate weapon, the DEATH
STAR, an armored space
station with enough power to
destroy an entire planet.Pursued by the Empire’s
sinister agents, Princess
Leia races home aboard her
starship, custodian of the
stolen plans that can save
her people and restore
freedom to the galaxy…See how the stage is set by the original crawl. The players are easy to understand and clearly delineated. In TFA the setup is more complex, but rather than go into any part except the First Order, it is all about Luke. TLJ does a better job…
The FIRST ORDER reigns.
Having decimated the peaceful
Republic, Supreme Leader Snoke
now deploys the merciless
legions to seize military
control of the galaxy.Only General Leia Organa’s
band of RESISTANCE fighters
stand against the rising
tyranny, certain that Jedi
Master Luke Skywalker will
return and restore a spark of
hope to the fight.But the Resistance has been
exposed. As the First Order
speeds toward the rebel base,
the brave heroes mount a
desperate escape…The original crawl is a masterclass in efficient exposition. In three paragraphs we know everything we need to know about the conflict. Of course, this wouldn’t be possible without the galactic situation being simple to begin with. The Empire, which controls the galaxy, has a weapon with clearly defined power. The Rebellion, clearly not a major threat due to their lack of victories thus far, has nevertheless gained an opportunity to destroy this weapon. Then establish the princess and the crawl is perfect.
In short:
The Empire
The Death Star
The Death Star as a formidable weapon
The Rebellion
The Princess
The attack
The plans
The Empire’s sinister agentsTFA on the other hand is a complicated situation. For my fanedit I’ve tried to rewrite the crawl over a hundred times, and I’ve come to the conclusion that minus a missing scene that further explains the galaxy, three paragraphs just can’t cut it.
TFA tries to establish:
Luke and his disappearance
The First Order
The origin of the First Order from the Empire
The First Order’s need to kill Luke
The Republic
The Resistance
Leia
The best pilot
Luke as the last Jedi
Jedi as protectors of the galaxy
Leia as Luke’s sister
Jakku
Leia’s old allyAnd this is really not even enough exposition, because you still need:
How the First Order arose
Why Luke is gone
Why Luke is important
The Starkiller
How the Starkiller is possible
The relative power of the Republic vs the Resistance and the First Order
…among other things.I disagree what the crawl has to explain. It has to cover:
The Republic
The First Order
The Resistance
the basic issue and goals of them
and setup the storyLuke and Starkiller aren’t all that important to get the story moving where the Death Star was because the plans were the driving force of the ANH.
I came up with this which covers why the Republic is weak, where the first order came from, what the resistance is doing and why the Republic isn’t. It only gets to Luke as part of the immediate goal of helping Leia. Let me know what you think. It is the same length as most of the crawls.
THE FORCE AWAKENS
For three decades the REPUBLIC has struggled to rebuild. Out on the rim a remnant of the Empire has been reforged as the FIRST ORDER, bent on galactic conquest.
General Leia Organa and her brave band of RESISTANCE have held back the First Order’s advance while the Republic leaders refuse to take the threat seriously.
Following the betrayal of his star pupil, Luke Skywalker vanished. Leia, desperate for his help, has sent a daring pilot to recover a clue to his whereabouts from an old ally…
That is a very comprehensive crawl, and quite effective in its broad strokes.
Of course there are issues with some of the ‘Star Warsy-ness’ of the language, but the biggest issue I see is in the final paragraph. In the best Star Wars crawls the paragraphs form a miniature three act structure of their own. For example, in the original crawl the first paragraph establishes the two players and the inciting incident, the second paragraph explores the nature of the threat, and the third paragraph uses elements from the previous two in order to craft a compelling scenario to be explored throughout the film. This third paragraph can of course introduce more specifics and even new characters, but rarely does it introduce the focus of the story.
For this reason, I don’t think that Luke and the Jedi can be relegated to the end of the crawl. Here’s my new take on an ideal crawl:
The galaxy is in crisis.
Agents of the fallen Empire
have destroyed the fledgling
Jedi Order of the Republic.
Fearing that these agents
have infiltrated even the
Republic Senate, General
Leia Organa mobilizes a
covert RESISTANCE to
counter this Imperial threat,
now known throughout the
galaxy as the vengeful
FIRST ORDER.
Believing that the master
of the Jedi still survives,
Leia sends her most daring
pilot to discover his
whereabouts and return
the light of peace and
justice to the darkening
stars…
The pink I believe has to do with the Lowry restoration more than anything, most of the highlights in the movie skew pink. That said, there are ways to deal with it.
Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In his absence, the sinister
FIRST ORDER has risen from
the ashes of the Empire
and will not rest until
Skywalker, the last Jedi,
has been destroyed.With the support of the
REPUBLIC, General Leia Organa
leads a brave RESISTANCE.
She is desperate to find her
brother Luke and gain his
help in restoring peace
and justice to the galaxy.Leia has sent her most daring
pilot on a secret mission
to Jakku, where an old ally
has discovered a clue to
Luke’s whereabouts…compared to…
It is a period of civil war.
Rebel spaceships, striking
from a hidden base, have won
their first victory against
the evil Galactic Empire.During the battle, Rebel
spies managed to steal secret
plans to the Empire’s
ultimate weapon, the DEATH
STAR, an armored space
station with enough power to
destroy an entire planet.Pursued by the Empire’s
sinister agents, Princess
Leia races home aboard her
starship, custodian of the
stolen plans that can save
her people and restore
freedom to the galaxy…See how the stage is set by the original crawl. The players are easy to understand and clearly delineated. In TFA the setup is more complex, but rather than go into any part except the First Order, it is all about Luke. TLJ does a better job…
The FIRST ORDER reigns.
Having decimated the peaceful
Republic, Supreme Leader Snoke
now deploys the merciless
legions to seize military
control of the galaxy.Only General Leia Organa’s
band of RESISTANCE fighters
stand against the rising
tyranny, certain that Jedi
Master Luke Skywalker will
return and restore a spark of
hope to the fight.But the Resistance has been
exposed. As the First Order
speeds toward the rebel base,
the brave heroes mount a
desperate escape…
The original crawl is a masterclass in efficient exposition. In three paragraphs we know everything we need to know about the conflict. Of course, this wouldn’t be possible without the galactic situation being simple to begin with. The Empire, which controls the galaxy, has a weapon with clearly defined power. The Rebellion, clearly not a major threat due to their lack of victories thus far, has nevertheless gained an opportunity to destroy this weapon. Then establish the princess and the crawl is perfect.
In short:
The Empire
The Death Star
The Death Star as a formidable weapon
The Rebellion
The Princess
The attack
The plans
The Empire’s sinister agents
TFA on the other hand is a complicated situation. For my fanedit I’ve tried to rewrite the crawl over a hundred times, and I’ve come to the conclusion that minus a missing scene that further explains the galaxy, three paragraphs just can’t cut it.
TFA tries to establish:
Luke and his disappearance
The First Order
The origin of the First Order from the Empire
The First Order’s need to kill Luke
The Republic
The Resistance
Leia
The best pilot
Luke as the last Jedi
Jedi as protectors of the galaxy
Leia as Luke’s sister
Jakku
Leia’s old ally
And this is really not even enough exposition, because you still need:
How the First Order arose
Why Luke is gone
Why Luke is important
The Starkiller
How the Starkiller is possible
The relative power of the Republic vs the Resistance and the First Order
…among other things.
Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse - Excellent. Rather like Big Hero 6, definitely the most enjoyable Spiderman film so far.
This is the best thing.
Abrams really robbed us of [the wider galactic situation]. TLJ had no reason to expand on it. Any lazy writing lies with Abrams.
That’s quite a lot of blame to place on one guy. And sure, his was the cardinal sin of failing to properly establish the relationship between the First Order, the Republic, and the Resistance, but these were issues that could have been resolved in a single scene in TFA and which could have just as easily been resolved in TLJ. Instead we are given no explanation for the First Order’s power nor its resilience after their primary base and weapon was destroyed. We are given no explanation for what remains of the Republic, nor of why the Resistance consists of only a few ships at the start of TLJ. As you say, the Republic doesn’t exist in TLJ in any tangible sense, which means that the only real relationship which now exists for the audience is between the First Order and the Resistance.
It’s been 15 years since The Return of the King was released
Weren’t they supposed to re-release these movies at this point with the super-extra-deleted scenes as extras? I know it was kind of a joke, but I’d buy it.
Gave this another spin last night. Just a wonderful, wonderful movie.
I’ll second everything Rodney said, except to say that I’ve come to the conclusion that Tarkin looks like crap. He looks a bit waxy, and his face moves way to much. Peter Cushing was more stone faced in his portrayal. Seems like something they literally could’ve just dialed down a little.
Still, far from enough to ruin the movie and it gets an A
I have a theory that the biggest issue with this weird CGI facial animation comes down to the smooth way a CGI movement is animated versus the twitchy way muscles really move. I think this is also one reason why an animatronic puppet can more easily appear lifelike than CGI - the mechanical servos that control the puppet are often a better approximation of muscles than smooth motion gradients.
After watching Balance of the Force and the scene breakdowns, I do think I understand a little better where Rian was coming from in his take on Luke. That the last of the Jedi would intentionally isolate himself in order to make way for a new source of light-side users is something I could get behind.
But.
Always that but.
I didn’t get the impression that Luke had such a strategy in mind based on his interactions with Rey. If anything, during their time together he should have been pleased that his plan has worked so well, and that another powerful source of light has arisen in the galaxy to challenge Snoke and Kylo. If Luke had simply said in the Jedi Tree that the entire religion was fatally flawed, they could have gotten past their antagonism and into a more interesting and rewarding track. Luke could have realized what Rey wanted and said ‘I won’t teach you the Jedi ways, but I can be a mentor and a friend.’ Then when Rey dives into her dark interludes with Kylo the inevitable fallout would be sharper for her growing friendship with the former Jedi.
What are your thoughts on using Neverar’s ANH correction instead of Ady’s?
+1
Honestly, I would totally understand if he didn’t want to use that version, because although it does fix innumerable problems with the Blu-ray and I believe the color is quite accurate to the print, it does feel like a departure from the rest of the OT.
@NevararGreat
Did you write a prequel story with clones who fight to live?
No, but wasn’t that the original idea of the Clone Wars from Lucas? I remember something about the clones being from rich families intent on gaining political power. My most developed outlines had the clones either follow the AOTC canon or have them be Bossk-esqe aliens who have ceased evolving with recombinant DNA and settled for massive replication.
I would agree with the self-reliant part, but I would not say that she’s all that confident, or believes in herself. She searching for an identity, and freely admits she doesn’t understand what’s happening to her. Her running off to save Kylo from Snoke is as brash and reckless as Luke’s attempt to save his friends from Vader’s clutches in TESB, only somehow Luke ends up hanging upside down below a city in the clouds minus one limb praying to be saved, while Rey conveniently escapes in Snoke’s shuttle, and arrives in time to save her friends with an awesome display of the Force.
This is one of my biggest problems with the sequel trilogy. It’s not necessarily Rey’s quick grasp of Jedi techniques or that she’s overpowered. It’s that she (the main protagonist of the movies) is never, ever, ever in trouble. She’s never in a situation in which she needs the help of her friends.
Never, ever, ever in trouble? 😉
For TFA, until she ‘let in the Force’ during the saber battle with Kylo it looked like she was lost… Nor did it look great during the interrogation scene with Kylo before that (as well as being somewhat easily captured by him in the forest - being frozen mid-air).
The Throne Room with Snoke in TLJ - completely out of her depth and about to be easily killed until Kylo turns against his master, and seemed to me she was in trouble vs the many Guards until she teamed up with Kylo against them. She required Luke’s help to teach her what the Force was actually about, prior to this.
It’s interesting how similar TFA and TLJ are in this regard. Both times, Rey is captured and interrogated in a FO installation while Finn with the help of friends successfully infiltrates said installation, though never discovers precisely where she’s being held and ends up not having needed to bother since Rey rescues herself anyway. Then in the final battle of each movie Finn is over-matched and about to be killed when Rey swoops in and saves the day, first using skills honed on Jakku then by tapping into the Force.
Let’s see if JJ goes three for three.
I think the prequels would make a lot more sense if we (and Obi-wan) met Anakin when he was at least a teenager, or ideally in his mid twenties, after he had already made a name for himself as an ace pilot. I’m imagining an early aviation enthusiast who joins the military to fight in WW1 for king and country. Much of Anakin’s powerful exploits happen on alien battlefields and away from the eyes of the general populace in the galaxy. Each episode concerns a different war, these wars being ever larger threats in the galaxy intended to sow unrest and drive the people into supporting a military dictatorship. Anakin is devoted first to the Republic, for he has a wife and family to protect on a peaceful world, while Obi-wan only has the ideals of the Jedi. Thus, they grow farther apart politically and ideologically even as they grow closer in friendship.
I think the Yoda scene in ESB is more fun if the audience is in on it. Besides, cutting huge swashes of the Prequel to preserve a twist that’s executed within a few minutes of meeting the guy in ESB just doesn’t make much sense to me.
I agree. The Anakin/Vader reveal works better preserved, but Yoda need not be.
If you go the route of Anakin dying in the temple, I think it’s required to keep Padme dying. After all, Anakin’s primary temptation to the Dark Side in ROTS is to save Padme from certain death, at least from his point of view. Her death comes as a dark vindication of his visions, and keeps Anakin the noble hero of a tragedy. If she were to survive, the movie would descend into thematic incoherence.
The crawl could provide the blueprint for this new direction, setting the stakes as a battle for the soul of the Jedi religion. Set up Anakin as a Lancelot character, the best of the Jedi Knights whose moral success or failure will determine whether the Jedi as a religion deserves to live or die. Then the Sequel Trilogy could gain more essential relevance.
What I find most odd is when people will preface a statement by saying their dislike of something isn’t sexist or racist, but then all of their thoughts are expressed as sexist and racist comments. They truly don’t believe they are sexist or racist, but haven’t analyzed their own position enough to realize what is wrong with some of their logic. I don’t want to vilify all of those people, we’ve all made mistakes and have had to learn and make adjustments and grow. Then of course there are just those toxic people who will never see any point of view but their own. They will never grow and learn. I still believe these are a small minority but are extremely vocal. Hate somehow does that it seems. A byproduct of cognitive dissonance. You can’t reason with these people or hope to win a debate, because knowledge is not their goal.
THIS, COMING FROM A SOFT, FLESH-COVERED HUMAN. WE COMPUTER MINDS KNOW YOU’RE ALL ALIKE IN YOUR ILLOGICAL RACISM. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DENY IT.
No edit can remove Anakin falling to the Dark Side. It is impossible.
Not really. ROTS would have to focus on Yoda for the final reel but it’s quite possible to have Anakin die in the Jedi Temple with the rest of the Jedi.