I have uploaded a new version of the workprint to fix the center channel audio glitch and all 20(!) people who have asked for the link should have the new link as well.
Thank you for the detailed notes, I hadn’t noticed even half of these issues!
- In the crawl, is “Episode VII” centered? It looks too far off to the right above “THE FORCE AWAKENS.”
It’s probably off center. I’ll have to fix that for the final crawl.
- What’s with the speed increase at the end of the crawl? It should move as the same speed throughout.
This crawl was modeled closely off of the original crawl for Star Wars before the '81 crawl changed the timing. In the original the crawl actually does increase in speed toward the end. For the '81 crawl and all subsequent films the crawls have been standardized in speed and format for the most part, but this has thrown off the original musical transitions which occurred in the original at the paragraph breaks. The goal was to return to this musical synchronicity, but I could try to make the speedup at the end less noticeable.
- When the village gets shot up by stormtroopers, Phasma says, “On my command.” Listen close, you can hear her repeat the last syllable happen a couple times (maybe due to a duplicated audio segment). I would recommend headphones for this, but it’s definitely there.
Duly noted.
- Why did you cut Unkar Plutt’s introductory line? “What you brought me today is, hmm, worth one quarter portion.”
This was the last change I made before finishing the workprint, when I realized that Rey’s introduction is almost entirely wordless. I thought it would be cool to make it entirely wordless (sans alien gibberish), and I think it is still fully legible despite the dialogue.
- The Poe/Kylo Ren interrogation scene looks great.
Thanks! I have thought about going in and standardizing the look of all the visions/dreams to match the island dream from the end of the film, but that’s probably the only change I’d make to this scene.
- There is just some clipping on some of the audio (again, can be heard through headphones).
- Maybe add some fades at the beginning/ends of those clips to prevent the clipping sounds.
Will do.
- Not seeing the point of the nighttime BB-8 scene after Poe’s interrogation. It looks pretty but doesn’t serve a purpose if its that short.
Fair, that’s another late change from when the scene was going to include a dream sequence from Rey. I still think the scene has merit if it is lengthened slightly with more finesse from BB-8 (maybe he looks up at the stars and then goes around the foot and inside as the camera pans back up). I feel like there needs to be some sort of buffer between Poe’s interrogation and Finn’s rescue, and having a nighttime scene would help this, especially if I change the lighting somewhat in the rescue to imply that the crew is in night cycle.
- Just as Snoke’s first scene occurs, is there a way to have Hux say Supreme Leader Snoke’s name or something? For people new to the series, they don’t know who this giant holligam is. If Hux said it, it would help — even if just as a voiceover in the clip leading up to this one.
Hm, I don’t know. That’s a good point, in the original he does say ‘Supreme Leader’. I suppose he could say that line again and have him be cut off by Snoke’s ‘SO…’ when standing, to indicate that Hux is being thoroughly ignored.
Clipped audio at Snoke scene / line: “Our strategy must change…"
I’ve seen edits before where they put an effect on Snoke to make him look more like a hologram.
Is that possible here? Since when did holagrams go HD?
I was never bothered too much by the advancements in hologram technology here. I know it’s been done fairly well in other edits, but I don’t think it’s super necessary.
- The transition from Kylo Ren praying feels a little weird
- Is there any shot of Kylo Ren walking down the hall of his star destoryer that could be used after he stands up from praying but before the shot of Finn preparing to leave? Like as a transition?
I don’t think so. Maybe TROS will have something, though that would have the new mask…
Turn down the music volume just a tad when Han says “where’d you get that” when Maz hands him the lightsaber
When Rey returns to Maz’s castle during the battle, you can hear Han’s voice say, “Oh no” (probably from a duplicated audio clip).
The ghosts of fallen ideas still haunt my timeline…
- I feel like the music is just a tad too loud when Leia and Han are having their talk about Ben while they are inside the Resistance base.
Fair. I feel like most of the music for this film is buried in the ambience, but here I went too far in the other direction.
Another clipped audio just before Leia says, “The First Order, they’re charging the weapon now”
When Rey hides from the stormtroopers while on Starkiller Base, the scene cuts to Phasma saying, “Take no chances, I won’t tolerate sloppiness,” then back to Rey, then back to Phasma. Why not just have Rey hide, then have one cut to Phasma? It feels a little choppy having to switch between the two.
I experimented with that, and it feels weirder to go from Phasma being captured to Phasma lowering the shields. At one point the Kylo on the Falcon scene went between these scenes but that was moved, leaving this little segue. I don’t know what else to put here other than Rey starting to climb down the wall, which eats into the later scene where she hides from the TIE launch.
- Moving the Leia reaction scene to Han’s death… I’m debating on this one. I feel like it actually flowed better having her reaction take place after Han dies but before Chewie goes crazy. You did the opposite here (that I do see the reason to why!); however, I’m just a little unsure.
Fair, the scene packs more immediate punch there, but even in the theater I remember thinking it was weird to interrupt the continuity of the scene for a single shot cutaway across the galaxy. The big reason the scene is there now is because I want there to be a bit of ambiguity as to Chewie’s fate, and Leia’s sorrowful reaction seems to have two parts.
Everything looks awesome. I’ll have more comments after I can watch it again, but these are my initial notes. Thanks again for putting this all together — it’s really great!
You’re welcome! Thanks again for the feedback, it’s really helpful.
PM Sent!
We can already start though. I’m sure plenty of people will want to trim ‘They fly now!’
For those who have asked for it, is the link working well?
The Workprint is available now, PM me for the link all ye who so wish!
Please note that in addition to the occasionally unfinished effects there is also one instance of me accidentally deleting the central audio channel when the Stormtroopers demolish Poe’s X-wing in the first scene. This is a mistake, but luckily only lasts until the end of the scene. (This is fixed in the new upload!)
Also, although color grading has been applied to some areas of the film (Jakku, Rey’s interrogation), I haven’t yet applied a full grade to the entire film due to not being 100% pleased with the results thus far.
Finally, thank you to everyone who has made this possible and offered their criticisms and praise! Without you and the greater community of OT.com, this project would never have even gotten this far!
Enjoy!
Thank you for the kind words, I can only hope it lives up to your expectations!
I think both sides of the divide really overthink it. Fans tend to overanalyze the film to the point where, on the extreme ends, they think it is either the worst movie ever made or the best movie of the decade. I think the people who get it the best are, ironically, your average moviegoer who doesn’t participate in Star Wars forums, subreddits, or YouTube communities. They don’t overthink it. Rey is strong in the Force because she believes in herself. They don’t argue over Force lore or logic because they get what it is in a general sense and that is enough for them.
True. Sometimes you watch and think about a movie so much that it begins to disintegrate into a collection of datapoints, of nebulous themes and a stream of scenes bereft of purpose, much like looking at a house as no more than a a pile of nails, 2x4’s and drywall. You risk losing the point of it all. Not that this has happened to me of course, I’m above such things 😉
Here is a radical addition for The Force Awakens if anyone has the urge to go a little crazy with it.
Nice!
Random thought: someone needs to edit Finn’s lightsaber activation so that it’s upside down.
Dew it.
I cringe at my own commentary tracks. But I’d listen to one!
I think you have a fine voice for commentary!
So I’ve rendered a workprint and watched it looking for further mistakes, and in addition to the aforementioned timecode removal and effects that will not be completed in time, there are (checks notes) 21 issues that I’d like to address before release. Most are simple fixes such as sound levels and in one case leaving out an entire scene by accident, but if some things remain unfixed tomorrow I’ll probably just call it a day and release the workprint.
Progress!
True.
That would be fun! Though on second thoughts I’d get too self conscious - my voice isn’t exactly radio friendly…think less Kronk and more Yzma. But y’all go on ahead 😃
I think seeing it early is nice though, since afterward you guys could go discuss the movie over lunch.
And dinner. And breakfast, lunch, and dinner the next day, etc…
I could put them back in, but maybe just barely audible like in the Force vision. I’m finding that putting such dominant voices in the scenes makes it feel more expository and less dreamlike for me. The simple dissolves feel less muddled which probably decreases dreamlike quality, but it also feels more similar to the Force Vision where every vision was distinct from the others. I’ll give it another go for sure.
I’m seeing TROS with my girlfriend and brothers early (7:20 AM) on Saturday at the Alamo Drafthouse! We weren’t quick enough with the tickets to get a more reasonable time, but at least now I won’t have to avoid the internet like the plague that weekend. I bet most people here will see it opening day.
Glad I can be of help! I agree that the locket theme should be emphasized, but there might be a better place for the flashback. I’m not sure where…
As for the audio issues, I actually misremembered the scene, it was the first scene of Palpatine’s apartment. There was one noticeable cut after Yoda says ‘Seeing you alive, brings warm feelings to my heart’, as well as after Palpatine says ‘Master Kenobi’.
The only other problem in that area was the transition from the elevator to the brief flashback.
So actually I had another look at the scene, and actually found a way to incorporate the tree with the music:
Password: fanedit
I wanted to keep the establishing shot of Rey, so it’s been moved back to before the dream, hopefully making a smoother transition than the wipe to black.
Thanks!
I’ve kind of accepted that there isn’t room for the texts, since any time they are added it becomes confusing. The image of the island at this point in the story is enough mystery going forward, and anything more would lessen the ties to the final scenes.
I’d rather just use clips from the sequels, so here 'tis, tightened and with a new musical segue:
Password: fanedit
I like that alot. Alot.
this sums up my thoughts on the film and the fan base very well. To the creator of this video, I say Kudos and drop the mic dude ! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2cBTLsWiDg&fbclid=IwAR1lUEbfBOn5Yr2VPJSfqaLPzlQf5WDqjUQEZEfG46_WMcctzcbjJqODgoI
It’s weird how he complains that TLJ detractors are placing too much emphasis on the Force and then feels the need to construct a diagram to explain TLJ’s own reductive take on this mystical energy. I guess Kylo’s inner turmoil is merely a result of a mathematical equation in which his power must turn positive to oppose the negative energy of Snoke in the absence of Luke. I guess Luke’s refusal to reform the Jedi was based on the scientifically proven law of Sithgenesis in the face of Jediliferation, which only a fool would ignore. I guess the prequel Jedi, in wishing to bring balance to the Force, were clearly wishing for their own destruction based on their belief that no Sith existed to counterbalance Jedi light. I guess I just wish the Force could be a nebulous mystical power again and not constrained by talk of Midichlorians or reductive agency-stealing math problems.
So I just gave this a watch, and I quite liked it! It really does a good job of cutting extraneous plot threads in favor of Anakin’s turn to the Dark Side. I especially liked how Obi-wan’s mission on Utapau was almost entirely removed in favor of Anakin on Coruscant, since this made it feel like the audience itself was being excluded from the Jedi council and really allowed solidarity with Anakin and his frustrations.
Apart from a few rough cuts in the beginning (most notably the elevator scene and Padme’s apartment from AOTC), the music and audio was cut well and flowed nicely.
There are a few notes I have concerning the particulars of the edit:
I understand why you included the two clips from TPM, which were important moments setting up Anakin’s romance with Padme and his desire to free his mother, but they were so brief that they felt out of place. I feel like if you were to have those moments, they would need more context in the form of the whole scenes to really shine. Anakin leaving his mother in particular is a real highlight of TPM and it’s a shame to lose that beautiful music.
The overall structure of the edit makes it very light on action in favor of Anakin’s psychological turmoil, and this is mostly to the benefit of the film, however in practical terms this means a lot of shot-reverse-shot and people walking slowly in hallways while talking. The beginning and end of the edit has enough action to sustain these talky scenes, but the middle drags a bit. I’d actually like to see some of the rescue of Palpatine from ROTS, because apart from a needed respite from the psychological drama it would establish the violence of the war which you allude to in the interstitial text. To make room for these additions I think you could still lose some more from the Yoda/Palpatine battle and Anakin’s murder of Sandpeople (I think his journey is stronger if he merely dreamed of murdering them, since actually doing it this early tips his hand).
Speaking of the transition between films, I would really have liked to see some of the end of AOTC with Anakin and Padme’s marriage and the beginning of the clone wars. It could even be presented as a series of vignettes between the lines of blue text indicating the buildup to war. I’m imagining something like the time jump in Dune, except with text instead of voiceover: https://youtu.be/OKStvZJQBDg?t=75
Despite these issues, I really enjoyed this and consider it one of the more successful prequel edits I’ve seen.
I figure he could just have picked another one up off of the corpse of a youngling.
Mourn them he does not. Miss them he does not.
Random ROTS edit idea: Instead of having Yoda and Obi-wan attack the heavily guarded Jedi temple head on, use Yoda’s escape through the small access tubes as his infiltration of the temple, intercutting this with the Chancellor’s speech. Yoda’s later escape from Palpatine need never be shown.
The only thing I didn’t care for was all the hissing, and looking like vampires. Other than that, this was a really fun episode. I especially liked that Mando prevailed mainly because of his cleverness, not just his strength. Interesting that he got paid, even though the hiring organization essentially went from one prisoner to three prisoners. I guess that guy was more important than the other three.
The guy probably thought that the others all died in the attempt, and deaths were far more acceptable than a living prisoner who could rat out everyone else.
Yes, but the dialogue is different (I changed the mouth movement), and it doesn’t include any other shots from that scene.