NFBisms

Taking a break for a bit, I’ll leave off with some of this:

How Obi-Wan Leaves Tatooine

Not anything new, really. Just the most up to date revision of this sequence, with some help from RogueLeader and jkimm. I’m going to try to make the Inquisitor sequence in this way work for as long as I can, until it’s clear no one likes it, but for now I think it works better than I had started with it. It’s not flawless, but I’m hoping I can smooth it out in some way.

New Establishing Shots on Ringworld Before Force Vision

RogueLeader’s suggestion of using the Ringworld from BOBF (The Mandalorian) to suggest some passage of time.

Daiyu Entrance

Obi-Wan’s entrance into Daiyu, de-scored and re-sound designed. A bit darker and seedier in tone. I’m a big fan of the dreary Wong-kar Wai aesthetic and while something like that wouldn’t fit here, I wanted to lean into the setting a bit more and evoke some of the same neon city loneliness in a crowd.

Daiyu Brawl De-Scored

My crack at taking the score out of this hallway fight, and re-foleying all the sound effects. I like a lot of this episode for how un-Jedi the setting and a lot of how Obi-Wan navigates it is. In lieu of having Obi-Wan verbalizing all his rejection of The Fight, this stuff paired with all the tired expression and hiding communicates all we need to know about where Obi-Wan is at psychologically. I wanted to lean into the griminess by removing all the “exciting” action music, and focusing more on the visceral sounds of the brawl.

As far as the rest of Daiyu and future plans, I’m still breaking how I want to approach Haja and how I’m going to officially and organically introduce Reva as a player. And we’re only 20 minutes in at this point, which leaves a lot of room for the quieter moments between Leia and Obi-Wan I want to keep in. I’m probably skipping episode 4 too.

If you have any more general ideas for an edit, there is a more general redux thread for the show. I’m still just trying to break the first act of my personal edit here lol. Not that I don’t appreciate anyone trying to help, but I do have more specific goals than being everyone’s else’s wishlist. I do read that thread and if any of those ideas appeal to me, I’ll reference it here as I fold them in

Otherwise, I might be bowing out until I have a bit more to show. thanks for understanding

DominicCobb said:

Miche said:

NFBisms said:

I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

Why do you like the character? Also, out of curiosity why shift the focus onto a secondary role. I personally found her as stuck up, ill headed, guetto stereotypical want to be baddy. Not sure why anyone would want to include even more screen time.

Assuming “guetto” is a typo for what I think it is, kindly fuck off from this site. We don’t need your kind here.

^^^^^

Hell yeah, looking forward to it!

I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

That’s great! These are all great ideas I’ll definitely give pass throughs. Small moments like that can pass me by when I’m focused on a bigger picture.

Vladius said:

Kaweebo said:

Editing is much tighter on the Inquisitor scene, though I do think there should be an establishing shot of them exiting the ship before we just cut to them in the bar. Especially when Reva comes into play a bit more later in the show. I get why you edited them walking out because it just highlights how ridiculous they look, but it did feel a bit rushed, almost like they teleported to the cantina.

The editing on Nari and him getting strung up is good, as is the last time Kenobi goes to the Lars homestead. Very impactful. I’m enjoying this so far very much.

I agree with this. I also think it might be good to include the scene of Nari visiting Obi Wan before he gets killed, just to introduce who he is, let Obi Wan express “we lost,” and let the inquisitor scene play out to show why Obi Wan’s caution was justified while also making him feel it harder when Nari does get killed. I know that all we really need to know is that he’s a Jedi but as it is it feels a little abrupt. I also thought that this little sequence of events was something the original show did well.

This is another thing I go back and forth on. It’s a pretty good scene, but again, I think a lot of what is said in it is communicated visually at different points throughout the show. When I can, I’m going to lean for the minimalist choice for this particular edit.

I also think there’s something to be said about clarity by leaving out Obi-Wan having explicitly given up on the Jedi. Within the next scene, he would’ve been pushing for Luke to be trained. And not too long later, jumping headfirst into saving Leia with no convincing. When all’s said and done, Obi-Wan is slightly different here than he is the original show. It isn’t so much about regaining his heroic instinct, but persevering in the face of so much reason to give up. Leaving Luke in this edit could be an example of him giving up, sure, but in context is really a choice made to keep him safer.

I don’t know if this makes any sense but that’s where I’m at with it. I like Obi-Wan’s arc in the original show, but this feels a little closer to how I understood Obi-Wan as a character before it.

RogueLeader said:
I hope I’m not giving an overwhelming amount of feedback. I think what you’ve done so far is great, and you should trust your gut!

Don’t worry about it! I’ve always loved reading your detailed thoughts. You’ve always really gotten my thought processes and confirm a lot of things I feel but am unsure about.

I gave your proposed Inquisitor revision a shot this morning.

I did change the transition, but I actually like the older one more. Weirdly, this one is longer but it does feel quicker.

RogueLeader said:

The only one that stood out to me was hearing the Across the Stars motif during Leia’s rescue. I know the idea is probably because she is Anakin and Padmé’s kid, but I’ve just always associated the song with romance, so it doesn’t really work for me there. Could Leia’s motif potentially fit there instead?

I was thinking the same thing, actually. I was going for a “This is Anakin and Padme’s daughter” kind of emotion, but the scene doesn’t really pause for us to take in Leia from Obi-Wan’s POV like that. And yeah, it is quite romantic which is odd here. Was inevitably going to be removed. I think I wanted to save Leia’s theme for later.

The first half of the cue in that moment is from when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan save Padme on Naboo, I just faded Across the Stars into it, so I could just easily let that play out instead. It works in a similar way, I suppose. (Let me tell you, turning full tracks into appropriately timed incidence is a whole other thing that might be harder for me than the foley.)

I wonder if it would be possible to imply that more time has passed when we see Ben meditating on the ship, and not that he got an alert that Leia was in danger as soon as he was off world. Perhaps fading out as he walks toward the ship rather than a hard cut could help suggest that. And/or potentially a shot of a transport ship flying through space? Or maybe a brand new shot to show he is chilling in a warehouse on some totally different planet. Just something to show that a little time has passed.

Been working on that but shots from other media or are recognizable to me have been taking me out of it. I’ve got some options for good nondescript nebulas and planet footage, but then it feels odd to suggest Obi-Wan took a shuttle to just… float in space? I’ll try to post a clip later, but at least for leaving Tatooine, the fade out does a little better IMO.

Short of doing a “# Days/Weeks Later…” subtitle, I can accept Obi-Wan got the vision pretty soon after leaving Tatooine anyway. It’s not like in the original show, Reva didn’t put her plan into action to catch Obi-Wan the same few days she was on the same planet as him.

I think the overall structure is working well so far. A part of me does wonder if I miss a bit more of Leia’s introduction, but I may be biased a little bit. I did realize you run into a question of why the kidnappers set up a dummy hostage, if there plan was no longer to capture her rescuer, but maybe that was just a safety measure they take with all of their hostages? I personally think the muffled Leia line works by the way.

I miss it a bit too, especially no Bail, but with the project as a tonal exercise, the whimsical Alderaan stuff was a real pain to try and make fit. The material deserved to be presented in all its whimsy anyway, if it was going to be. I think Leia’s endearing disposition as a contrast is going to work later in the cut, but not this early on where I’m trying to set the tone.

I also wonder if it is fine that Obi and Bail have no contact after he senses Leia in danger. Like, could you potentially have voiceover of Bail as Obi-Wan arrives at Daiyu, implying they communicated after Obi-Wan sensed Leia.

This was also something I played with and is trivially easy to implement as VO, but kind of felt at odds with the storytelling language I’m going for. I don’t know to articulate it atm, but I’d prefer to truncate the plot than I would what should be an important character interaction. I’d rather it not be tackled than given a handwave

Besides, there was an element in the old EU I remember liking where Obi-Wan was so off the grid that he had to go to internet cafes or something to keep up with the galaxy’s goings on. The idea that he had something to even be communicated with, was already kind of a shock to my expectations. Obi-Wan going on his own accord I think sells his commitment to the children a lot also. I kind of like that.

Here’s another pass through from the Toy to Departure.

• I re cut the Inquisitor scene, maybe it’ll feel a little better this time - removed the saloon BG music, used more silence and howling winds, and tried a different song/transition at the end.

• Removed the shot of Nari tied to the arch to imply more gruesomeness

• Removed the sun in the binoculars shot

• Used the fade out as Obi-Wan leaves Tatooine and tried out a [flipped] shot from BOBF to imply more time passage

The tragedy of this edit is that it was finished at one point but then I got too ambitious and made like five or six choices I want to take back. I would go back and fix them now, but I don’t have a lot of the old source files any more, which makes navigating the already nightmarishly disorganized project a living hell.

I can probably edit the last export and just replace the parts I want to change, but I haven’t found the motivation to do that, especially since it caps the project going forward at 720p. If I wanted to continue this at all, I would have liked the eventual endpoint to be 1080p, submittable to FE and all, you know? i also don’t like the color grading any more

oh btw i am sending it to people still, if it looks like im ignoring everyone in this thread i just use PMs

Yeah, definitely have some cleaning to do, just wanted to get the structure into place here and receive some feedback before going forward. Every decision I make for this is accompanied with some considerable time rebuilding the sound design of a short minute, so I figured I didn’t have to have everything polished if I’m just testing iterations. you can tell when it starts falling off lmao

Which, I did have the Jawa scene in the edit a day ago actually. I go back and forth on it honestly. While I see its value in verbalizing some of Obi-Wan’s feelings about the Jedi’s “extinction” - I’ve really been going for a sparse, minimalist atmosphere and these things are communicated later [and] visually anyway. It’s really just a tone thing. I wanted Obi-Wan’s opening grief to carry into the next few scenes to tie it all together, and I felt a somewhat humorous interaction sandwiched between the relevant bits broke with it a little. 🤷

As far as the Leia line, I agree. I did make an effort to use that line muffled behind the door right before he walks in, but I do think I should have more specific sound clips from the excised Alderaan stuff in that Force Vision to better establish the situation.

EDIT: Took down the preview to revise a bit more

Obi-Wan’s Vision of Leia

Thanks for the notes, but tbh all of the choices are very intentional. I don’t know if I know how to articulate it, but it’s an intuitive style thing. For example, I wanted the intro to feel sparse, particularly at the beginning, not fast or intense. The flashbacks are meant to be jarring and what triggers the pace increases. I think more overt color grading for flashbacks is tacky. The zoom is actually from the show itself, I can see about keeping it more fixed, but I don’t mind it and it serves to build anticipation towards revealing Obi-Wan’s face.

I’m not really trying to make it Star Warsy fwiw, the promise of these shows for me and the intention of my own edit was that it could do more than just be along the lines of a swashbuckling adventure serial. There’s only so much I can do of course, but my sensibilities are for as measured a pace as I can.

Yeah, I changed Obi-Wan’s reason for leaving Tatooine into just, literally taking Owen’s words to heart. “Leave us alone, Ben.” and he does. It’s already text that Obi-Wan can’t even disagree Anakin’s “death” is his fault, so I leaned into it.

I ended up keeping a bit of the Inquisitor and runaway stuff as the driving force in the decision. Obi-Wan sees The Inquisitors kill Nari after being told off by Owen and from there, Obi-Wan decides his presence is dangerous. That he’s dangerous. So he leaves. (not enthusiastically mind you)

I feel it’s actually a pretty clean starting place for a story that ultimately culminates in Obi-Wan learning to move on from his guilt and regain a sense of purpose.

Here’s how I was roughly planning on streamlining the kidnapping plot’s introduction in my edit.

The idea is that Obi-Wan feels a disturbance in the Force related to Leia while trying (and failing) to contact Qui-Gon.

It’s very very specific to how I’m approaching the Tatooine portion, I’ll get into it in my thread, but for the most part I don’t think we need any of the Alderaan stuff in full if we can help it.

Some of it is nice, but I don’t think a lot of it is necessary from a character perspective. (which is my focus) We can learn a lot about Leia more organically through her interactions with Ben later in the series.

I don’t think this approach is polished/perfect yet or if I’ll even follow through on it, but I like this for how it mitigates a good bit of the POV jumping, keeping us centered on the titular character for most of the [series-turned-] movie. We lose a neat moment with the intercutting Vader suit-up, but it was entirely redundant anyway.

The biggest loss I think is having Obi-Wan not completely cut off from the Force. Him saving Leia on Daiyu later in this context would just be him as rusty and weak. Which is fine I guess, it’s not like that’s not along the lines of how we understood Obi-Wan before, but I liked that moment in the show as it was.

anyway, I want to try to lean less on this device going forward

I have more to explain about it but I’ll save it for my thread

TLWR: A TV-to-movie edit of Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022) that is more tonally consistent, utilizing storytelling sensibilities unrestrained from Star Wars’ typical conventions, more in line with a grounded character drama.

Obi-Wan Kenobi as “prestige television” and not a mass appeal Disney+ blockbuster.

SO.

People liked my opening mock-up.

Basically, I liked the creative team behind this show a lot prior to release (Chow did “Something Stupid” from Better Call Saul, Kelley Dixon is/was a Breaking Bad/BCS editor, Oldboy’s Chung-hoon Chung on cinematography). I was expecting something comparable in caliber for Obi-Wan. At the very least, I would see some of that DNA peeking through.

A bit misguided in hindsight, what can I say?

So, I cut together that opening, approaching it through the storytelling language inspired by the best of Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul montages, as a way to creatively articulate what I really expected for this show based on the team behind it. What I wanted.

With some support, I figure I can give the rest of the series a shot.

I’ll post any updates and brainstorming in this thread as I go along, and explain some of sensibilities for this. I’m not trying to make it some kind of BB-verse styled edit, but I think taking lessons from its storytelling is how I’m going to make the most out of the material. I do think Chow’s sensibilities as a director, at least for the character stuff, has been conducive to being arranged in this way. It’s a terrible name, I know - worse than “New Canon Cut” which was already so bad - but part of me wants to give her some credit I know many fans won’t.

Anyway, as far as some goals:

• Tighter, streamlined pacing. Really carving this baby up. I hope to get it down to more or less feature-length, and I think it’s doable.
• De-scoring/re-foleying scenes to really give this some [illusion of] subtlety and depth. It’s not that music is inherently showy and unsubtle - I love music for storytelling - but in this case, it distracts and muddles some of the directing. Additionally, it’ll provide a lot more freedom for me to re-arrange and recontextualize individual shots and entire scenes. Using these to create some more…
• Tonal consistency. The show goes back and forth between being goofy as hell and attempts at emotionally sincerity. There’s a lot of forced “hopefulness” that I also think needs to be earned over the course of the narrative, and not just whenever the show feels like it. The de-score helps a lot with this.

Still very tentative, still very experimental.

I just think it’d be fun to work through this with some of you, just don’t expect much haha. It wouldn’t be an NFBisms edit if it wasn’t needlessly ambitious and inevitably too specific to appeal to anyone

Will edit this post with a cut list and more information once it starts taking shape.

OPENING

Obi-Wan’s Vision of Leia

DISCLAIMER: I do not claim to know or understand what Deborah Chow was trying to do with this show, nor do I think what I’m doing here is some kind of “fabled original plan”. Nor do I have any sort of handle on her personal style.

Anjohan said:

1. Yes, I like NSFBisms remake of the opening a lot, and would have no issue in using it. But I would most likely only use the opening, because it breaks with the tone and the flow with what follows. It is cut in such a, let’s say, intellectually rewarding way and at a swift pace - and without any music, that when followed by the rest of the film it’s like this very intriguing, dark, lonely tone that is set and then all of a sudden it’s cut like a generic Star Wars series/film.

Yeah, I really just made it as an experiment, a little peek into what I would have wanted out of this show, but I didn’t map out how the rest of a hypothetical edit would follow. It’s actually been incredibly difficult even trying to break what the next tonally consistent minute would be lol

Not just that, there are a lot of shots I re-utilized out of their actual context. I completely made up the whole progression with his sizzling pot for example, which uses some shots from when the Organas call him.

I’m trying to find a way to make something work with it, but I’d recommend against it if it’s outside the scope of your edit tbh.

snooker said:

leftshoe18 said:

RogueLeader said:

Hal 9000 said:

poppasketti said:

hey thanks guys ^^

Idk, I might just do a whole edit with this approach now actually. I don’t know how far I could take it given what the show becomes, but if I can make some progress that works for me past the first episode this week, you might see a thread pop up here. 👀

This is something I put together in the other Kenobi redux thread, just in case it could be relevant to this project in some way:

NFBisms said:

I was one of those suckers who was actually really excited for Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022) because Deborah Chow and Kelley DIxon’s work on Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad fuckin’ rule. Needless to say, that was a bit misguided.

So I took a crack at editing the show to be closer in tone and style to what I expected out of BB-verse alumni.

I don’t think I’m going to do the whole show, but it was just a fun little experiment. The edit isn’t supposed to be like BB/BCS fwiw, just approaching the material with some of the storytelling philosophy I learned from them.

At the very least, Deborah Chow’s sensibilities as a director were still conducive to being arranged in this way so at least some of my excitement wasn’t unfounded

I was one of those suckers who was actually really excited for Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022) because Deborah Chow and Kelley DIxon’s work on Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad fuckin’ rule. Needless to say, that was a bit misguided.

So I took a crack at editing the show to be closer in tone and style to what I expected out of BB-verse alumni.

I don’t think I’m going to do the whole show, but it was just a fun little experiment. The edit isn’t supposed to be like BB/BCS fwiw, just approaching the material with some of the storytelling philosophy I learned from them.

At the very least, Deborah Chow’s sensibilities as a director were still conducive to being arranged in this way so at least some of my excitement wasn’t unfounded

Alright, this episode lost me.

I’m so bored by action sequences longer than three minutes unless 1) they’re rooted in stunt choreography as craft or 2) building character, so this entire episode just washed over me. There were like no stakes. Everything they’ve ever been good at with this show before, wasn’t in here.

If you had been set to write an Obi show and had gone back and refreshed yourself on the canon - scenes and dialogue made in both PT and OT - would you have written Obi as unaware?

I mean, I definitely would. When the realization that he didn’t actually kill the brother he loved happened offscreen from the movies, writing that as its own story is a no brainer. It’s extremely fertile ground for emotional character work, I don’t see why any writer would reject that opportunity. Regardless of how you think it was done, the concept is more than sound.

RogueLeader said:

I think it has less to do with the location and more to do with how it was shot. Like the shots of Obi and Vader actually clashing felt almost fan-filmy. Hard to put my finger on it.

I do agree with the character stuff though.

I think it’s the location + the lightsabers. They’re literally just facing off in an Earth quarry. And the way the red and blue light spills illuminate the scene and behave - the sabers actually look like the glowstick props they are.

act on instinct said:

I think some people who had set their hopes especially high are slowly realizing they may have put too much faith in Deborah Chow, I think if this show doesn’t pull it together in the end she’ll have the Star Wars stink on her that Rian had and people will unfairly judge her abilities after pinning their hopes on her up to release. Some fans forgot they were still dealing with Disney here, the director is the patsy to blame for the studio’s continued failures.

(Glad for any of you enjoying the series so far though.)

it’s me, i’m some people

There are things I really like, but it’s honestly just a bunch of small things that Star Wars doesn’t usually do (but is in other stuff normally.)

The franchise as a whole is kind of emotionally stunted so I like that Obi-Wan Kenobi does have an EQ. It’s where Chow excels as a director IMO. There’s just so much cheapness in the surrounding elements that it doesn’t feel as good as any of it should. The action is kinda slow, the world doesn’t feel that imaginative, the villains are hard to take seriously.

I don’t really mind that much - The Expanse is the “Canadian shot Sy-Fy show” people are literally comparing this to, and I love The Expanse - but Star Wars/Obi-Wan maybe deserved more than that. It’s frustrating because SW is a massive franchise and Disney is a massive corporation.

If there were going to be these restraints, this team would have excelled at something far less rooted in action, and something more dialogue-driven. For example, I was disappointed when they reached the checkpoint because it cut off Obi-Wan’s interesting recollection of his early life, for a frankly underwhelming sequence. Even Reva’s subtle expressions and allusion to her origin/ambitons are far more compelling than Vader pursuing Kenobi.