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Indiana Jones IV
Originally posted by: C3PX
"Look at Marcus Brody! He was great!"

Yeah, Marcus was great, but he was a secondary character and not the star. Though I must say, if they were to make a spin off starring Marcus Brody as the title character, I would be in-line there opening night! I would be so much more excited about that than I am about Crystal Skull. I remember when I first heard the name "The Phantom Menace" I wasn't quite sure what to think, but I decided "Hey, its a Star Wars movie, it'll be great" eight years later we all know how that went down. Now we hear the name "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" and we all say, "Hey, its Indy, it'll be great!" Sorry for being pesimistic. Those screen shots (especially Shia with the little stash) just left a bad taste in my mouth. I have really been trying to be positive. Just seems like it is a very rare occasion that we are not disappointed by movies these days, gets really hard to let your hopes up about anything.

You do know that Marcus Brody got lost in his own museum?

Finally some face protection for the troops
Originally posted by: Nanner Split
Originally posted by: Montcalm
Originally posted by: Johnboy3434
Holy ****. A contingent of troops wearing those things would look so ****ing awesome. Like ninjas... or cyborgs... NINJA CYBORGS!

Just wait for Master Chef

Not this one....the one from Halo
Jokes thread : Reloaded
A very successful lawyer parks his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he gets out, a truck passes too closely and completely rips off the door on the driver's side.

The lawyer immediately grabs his cell phone, dials 911, and within minutes a policeman pulls up. Before the officer has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically that his Lexus, which he had just bought the day before, is now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the lawyer finally calms down a bit, the officer shakes his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he says. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asks the lawyer.

The cop replies, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"My God!" screams the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?!"
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Pre-Nuptial Agreements
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in New York.

The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him. The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy.

"I'll only marry you under three conditions."

"Anything, anything," said the ambassador.

"First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28-inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."

Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"

The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult situation.

"Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part of the Hamptons along with a 40-acre summer home in the sweetest vineyards of France."

The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal broker in New York, then called another broker in France, and after his quick conversation, he said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!"

The secretary was very startled, and knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to.

"Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10-inch penis."

A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping in his native language for a few minutes, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Talking Animals
A ventriloquist's car breaks down near a farm and he decides to have a little fun with the redneck farmer that owned it.

“Hey there,” he says. “I bet I can make your horse talk.”

“Horses don't talk” says the farmer.

“We’ll see,” says the ventriloquist. He turns to the horse and asks, “So how does your master treat you?”

“Pretty well,” says the horse. “He gives me plenty of food and water, and he lets me run all over.”

“I bet I can make the dog talk, too,” says the ventriloquist.

“Dog's don't talk” says the farmer.

“How about you?” the ventriloquist asks the dog. “Is he good to you too?”

“Yup,” says the dog. “We play fetch.”

“Let’s see what the sheep has to say,” says the ventriloquist.

“Wait!" yells the farmer "That sheep is a f***in' liar!"
Jokes thread : Reloaded
A guy goes into the U.S. Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the service?"

"Yes," he says. "I was in Vietnam for three years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment" and then asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes 100%...a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."

The interviewer tells the guy, "OK. I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 A.M."

The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. then why do you want me to come in at 10:00 A.M.?"

"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours we stand around scratching o ur balls. No point in you coming in for that."