Jar Jar Bricks

Maybe I’ll just go to a random name generator for Star Wars or something.

TestingOutTheTest said:

Yeah I think I’ll probably stick with the whole “Rey is Palpatine’s daughter” thingy.

Would you rather do that, or reinforce Rey and Palpatine’s respective motivations as described above?

Well, like I said, from my perspective the revelation that she is even more closely related to him should be more shocking for Rey. I suppose it depends on how you look at it though. Is a clone of Palpatine truly Palpatine? Ultimately I believe it comes down to biology in the case of this story.

Honestly, to me it seems the way it originally is in the novel is a dumb callback to Boba being the son of Jango even though he was technically only a clone. I don’t believe Palpatine would claim a non-Force-sensitive clone as his son, personally, so I wanted to lean more heavily into him being a clone over a son.

Yeah I think I’ll probably stick with the whole “Rey is Palpatine’s daughter” thingy (in biological terms).

But what makes you say that about Unkar? They were leaving the planet and didn’t want to take her with them. Then Ochi tracks them down, reclaims his ship, tells Rey’s dad he is never leaving Exegol again, and then demands to know where Rey is. I’d remove Rey’s mother mentioning Jakku. Therefore, as far as Ochi knows, they were never on Jakku.

I also like that a ton. It subtly dodges the idea that Palpatine wanted her dead at the time he was looking for her (which is what Rey originally asks him). Will probably use something similar to that in my novelization.

I like that thought process Testing. I do believe the reason Rey’s father is never mentioned as being a clone in the original movie is because of what you said: “a familial, hereditary connection between the two solidifies her belief[s]”. While my original plan was to make the clone side of things even more apparent, what you said here has definitely made me consider going in the exact opposite direction. The biggest question from such an idea is this: who is Rey’s grandmother? Just a random Sith acolyte woman?

Furthermore, when I said my original plan was to lean into the whole clone side of things, consider this. I was going to alter Kylo’s dialog to be the following: “You’re his daughter. My mother was the daughter of Vader. Your father was a clone of the Emperor.” Therefore, technically speaking, doesn’t that make her even MORE like Palpatine? As in, would you rather be Hitler’s grandchild or his child?

I really like that name. Thanks Testing. My one concern with it is it sounds similar to “Solo”, but since it would be her first name that doesn’t matter much.

Sorry to change the topic… So, let’s say Rey’s parents weren’t mere plotpoints and were actual characters. What would you name them?

Chapter 9 Changelog:

• Another description of Ochi’s ship to match the idea that junkers lived in it
• Just noticed that Rey claims in both the movie and this novel that she saw both Kylo AND her on the Sith throne in her vision. This is wrong, and has been fixed.
• Removed the reference to the ticking clock
• Made it clear that D-O belonged to Ochi (necessary for the new background story of his ship)
• Removed all Chewbacca scenes (I may put one of these after Rey’s discovery, we’ll see)
• Tightened conversation with Zorii
• Zorii says Poe left the crew to rejoin the cause instead of join it. This is necessary because he literally grew up in a Rebellion family.
• Added a brief custom scene with the Knights of Ren on Kijimi at the end. This is necessary because otherwise they come out of nowhere later on.
  Link:
  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HVHAsnDZbBJONFo4_KvxnZ41n8CofC-X/view?usp=sharing
  Here is the custom scene. Don’t think it’s 100% perfect yet:

Ushar led his fellow Knights of Ren down a frigid alleyway on Kijimi. Tracking the Resistance scum down had been easy; Ap’lek had wisely secured a homing beacon to their escape vessel during the chaos of the girl exploding a transport. The Night Buzzard would have easily lost them in those icy planetary rings if it weren’t for the beacon. Now the real trouble was scouring this wretched city for wherever they had traveled to.

Ushar had never witnessed such a grand spectacle of darkness until that moment in the desert, even from Kylo. If the girl were to ever usurp Kylo’s position, he was sure the rest of the Knights would accept her as their master without hesitation. But for now, they were to follow the instructions Kylo had given them to the letter.

“Kylo Ren wants the girl alive,” he reminded everyone. “Kill the rest.”

Well, seeing as how I’m mostly talking from the perspective of a novelization, nothing is really out of the question. In that case, it wouldn’t necessarily have to be spoken aloud by a character. Perhaps instead I could write something like (rough):

Twin suns rose on the horizon. The two halves of the dyad embraced each other under the light of dawn. At the homestead of one of the greatest Jedi, a new order was rising. The order of Skywalker.

Thing is, something like that would just make me want the title of the story to be “A New Order” (referring to both Palpatine’s Final Order as well as this new Skywalker order).

TestingOutTheTest said:

CamSMurph said:

How would I re-edit TRoS? Well, for starters, I’d throw out the concept of force healing since it pretty much came out of nowhere. Then, I’d have Palpatine kill Kylo by throwing him into the pit. Lastly, I’d have Rey proclaim, “Just Rey,” at the end of the film, and her arc would come full circle.

Firstly, Rey has the Jedi texts, so of course she’d get something from that.

Secondly, killing off Ben at that point misses the point; having Ben heal Rey makes sense from a thematic perspective, he’s fulfilling what Vader started.

I agree with both of your points here. Although, if somebody else doesn’t like these ideas then I don’t see the harm in them removing it for their own edits.

Lastly, “just Rey” also misses the point; “Rey Skywalker” is there to show how the Skywalkers’ legacy will live on after the actual bloodline becomes extinct, which is the point of the entire trilogy.

This is why I’m kinda torn. If Ben Solo showed up on Tatooine, I’d imagine Rey would become Rey Solo instead of Rey Skywalker in that scene. But that kinda goes against the title of the movie and the purpose of the trilogy. I’d be interested in hearing other opinions on how to solve this problem. Maybe replace the Jedi organization with an organization called “Skywalkers”? Not sure.

thebluefrog said:

Kylo dying was trite and cliche and also completely predictable given that it was Disney. But having him alive, alone, living forever with his crimes…that’s more interesting a fate.

I personally believe it wouldn’t be necessary for him to be completely alone. I see him trying to start the Jedi again with Rey at his side, but obviously the galaxy wouldn’t see those Jedi as good people as a result (especially if it somehow leaked that Rey is Palpatine’s granddaughter). I see that story as pretty interesting, where the Jedi have to prove themselves to be good.

Chapter 8 Changelog:

• General streamlining, changing needlessly complicated words (unless it’s in dialog), etc.
• Removed Poe inquiring about the thing Finn wanted to say because I moved that to the previous chapter.
• Used Captain Faraday’s description of Ochi’s armor from the comics
• Used a rendition of Captain Faraday’s description as for why Sith Cultists put secrets on their weapons (kills make it more secretive via blood magic)
• Better descriptions of Force healing (see the post two above this one)
• Rey thinks to herself that the Jedi were definitely wrong about forbidding Force healing on beings
• Ochi’s ship is described as if a bunch of junkers have lived in it (Rey’s parents). Additionally, Finn sees boxes of replacement parts instead of weapons. This creates the indication that Ochi was intending on fixing up his ship when he got it back from them, but hadn’t got around to it yet at the time of Luke chasing him down.
• Kylo no longer wants to kill Rey (why, just why, Rae Carson?!). Instead, he is conflicted on whether or not he wants to put her in harm’s way to get her to unleash her dark side.
• When Kylo sees Rey’s crackling lightsaber, it only reassures him that he needs to push her to embrace the dark side through any means necessary
• Finn remembers that Chewie has the dagger. Additionally, inserted the Knights of Ren line: “I get his teeth”. Both up the stakes a bit.
• Kept the transition to Kylo Ren only to further clarify that Rey had defeated his TIE with only the light. He decides he needs to duel her to unlock her dark side until he sees a golden opportunity: the freighter.
• For some reason Rae Carson had Kylo admit defeat at the end of this chapter. I completely disagree with that interpretation. Instead, the chapter ends with him thinking to himself that he has already won, since Rey had started down the dark path. He has accomplished part of what he set out to do.
  Link:
  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LkILqPuce8IBHzxWBCchNNbxbSuH1sgi/view?usp=sharing

Idk, I think the Custom Crawl Creator on this site by JackPumpkinHead looks pretty fantastic when it comes to crawls. Then again, I prefer that more modern look so maybe that’s why.

natestarwarsfan122 said:

Jar Jar Bricks said:

sherlockpotter said:

Hey Hal, are you interested in using RogueLeader’s ideas for Kijimi in Ascendant too? About having it be mid-Civil War with people fighting stormtroopers off in the distance?

(Slight deviation from the Dagger discussions, I know.)

I would be interested in some spray paintings of Luke Skywalker on the walls.

Side note: I cannot get over the fact that the official canon explanation for why nobody came to help on Crait was that the First Order cut communication lines. Like, bruh. The whole point of the movie is that everyone was hopeless until Luke shows up.

It’s actually explained well in the book Resistance Reborn by Delilah S Dawson. It seems dumb when randomly referenced in the novelization, but has a lot of emotional implications for Poe, that ROS evidently ignored.

I realize this is kinda getting off topic, but I’d rather consider the emotional implications of the galaxy at large over one character. Thematically speaking, what was present in TLJ alone worked the best.

Yup, my end goal with this project is to emphasis the importance of relationships. I think that’s the one thing the Jedi of the Republic really messed up with. The evidence is that Ben Solo turned to the dark side because he didn’t have a consistent father figure in his life. So he turned to Snoke.

So at the end of the Skywalker saga I think it should have been made clear that the Jedi were in the wrong for not helping Anakin, yet at the same time Anakin was too possessive and went to extreme lengths. There is definitely a compromise there that can be made.

The line would work best if somebody had explained on screen to 3PO who he is after his mind was wiped.

But yeah, since that didn’t happen, he’s gonna have to say “It appears” beforehand (which implies that he either pieced things together or was told offscreen). Otherwise it sounds too much like something 3PO would say pre-mindwipe. It is funny, but it’s not worth it imo if it doesn’t make sense.

The line would work best if somebody had explained on screen to 3PO who he is after his mind was wiped.

But yeah, since that didn’t happen, he’s gonna have to say “It appears” beforehand (which implies that he either pieced things together or was told offscreen). Otherwise it sounds too much like something 3PO would say pre-mindwipe.

Here is how I’m handling Force healing the snake:

Rey narrowed her eyes as she approached the serpent’s body, and Poe aimed his flashlight, illuminating the creature. Yes, the snake was definitely wounded. A giant gash ran across several segments. She just had to reach it for her plan to work.

In the Jedi texts, there had been an ability called Force healing described in a section exclusively for Jedi Masters. The texts made it very clear that its usage was strictly for healing broken kyber crystals, which were alive. Using it on a conscious being was considered a violation of the will of the Force. Rey didn’t understand why.

Obviously she had failed to use the ability properly on the kyber crystal in Luke’s lightsaber. But this was a perfect scenario for her to get better at it. If she could just improve her abilities, perhaps the crystal would accept the healing. She had to attempt healing this serpent. To prove herself worthy.

Carefully, slowly, she stepped over the serpent’s curved body until she stood within its coils. If it decided to kill her, all it had to do was squeeze…

Rey thought about the farm equipment she’d flown the skimmer over. A grain farmer had probably rolled a tilling blade right across this creature’s lair, flaying it open. Rey reached for the wound. The serpent hissed, and she hesitated. But it didn’t attack. Heart in her throat, she stretched her hand forward, touching the serpent’s cool segments.

Rey closed her eyes. Reached for the Force. Whenever she fought, or leapt through the jungles of Ajan Kloss, or even mind-tricked a stormtrooper into releasing her shackles, she channeled the Force. But this would call for a different technique. This time she would give.

What I like about this is that it makes it clear that only Jedi Masters could be taught this ability (all the more reason for why Anakin wanted to become a Master), and that it was only allowed for healing kyber crystals. The method he wanted to use it would be against the Jedi teachings at that time. But Rey and Ben are going to create a new generation of Jedi that won’t follow strict guidelines like this.

Chapter 7 Changelog:

• I’ll be honest, most of the stuff here comes from Captain Faraday because of how “meh” Rae Carson is at writing action scenes. Huge shoutout to Faraday’s work on the Pasaana chase. I did a few modifications, but most of it is from him.
• Rey recognizes Ochi’s ship as her parent’s ship. This will be explained later on in the story. Basically, Rey’s dad stole Ochi’s ship to escape Exegol. So him chasing her parents down was not only at Palpatine’s command but also to get his favorite ship back (which is also the reason why Ochi would want him to never leave Exegol again as punishment).
• Finn tells Poe that there is something he never got to tell him instead of Rey 😉
• Poe demands to hear what Finn was going to tell him, but he won’t until he explains where he learned his “sketchy stuff”. This creates a much better character dynamic between the two of them because they are both keeping secrets from each other and they are bickering about it.
• Removed another reference to Lando being on Pasaana for the past 20 years.
  Link:
  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HebDtcBfO0nTDW_3_YXBi5myXuAvSBUA/view?usp=sharing
  (IGNORE IT SAYING CHAPTER 6 THAT IS AN ERROR)

Weren’t we going to have him say “It appears” before that phrase? Unless we have another reason as for why he would know that information after a mind wipe?

jarbear said:

It’s like we are trying to make the movie actually make sense. Lol.

What? No, that’s crazy talk. I thought we were here to implement every TROS idea from the Worst Edit Ideas thread.

CaptainFaraday said:

I’m down to draw some graffiti designs. I used to be a cartoonist for a living.

Oh yeah that’s right. Sounds good.

Do we have any idea where exactly the art would appear? Obviously on a wall, but at what point in the movie?

AntonioGK said:

Is the saber broken since the training at the beginning? or it starts to fail during Kylo and Rey’s fight?

The idea was that it would only crackle during training, but then it would start to short out during their fight since it’s being put under such force (no pun intended). Although it isn’t absolutely necessary, it would still be cool to see.

Sounds good RogueLeader. Very excited for that stuff.

Testing, another reason (for me at least) that we would want the lightsaber to be crackly is to justify Rey’s feelings of unworthiness about it. If she was unable to completely fix it, it makes more sense that she would feel the need to “earn” it again one day.

It’s most definitely a retcon because Connix literally says in TLJ: “Our distress signal has been received at multiple points. But no response.”

Anyways, my point in bringing this up is that since the title of this movie is The Rise of Skywalker I’d say it’s a good idea to hone in on the thematic side of things. Kijimi is one place where that is possible (as well as the puppet show).