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Jar Jar Bricks

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Post
#1425911
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Ah, yes, here is what I was talking about:

bbghost said:

Just quietly, I think this is one of my favorite small bits of editing I’ve done so far to this film:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fe-6n7XalPBHtDnJD7nDz9sG57ayMQYw/view?usp=sharing

I feel it would solve the issue you have with it as well Sherlock because this way there isn’t as much emphasis placed on the fight between them and the rocket trooper. But that’s just my opinion.

Post
#1425901
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

sherlockpotter said:

You know, one of the worst examples of this film’s rushed pacing is, I think, right before they get swallowed up in the cave on Pasaana. Their ships explode, they crash-land, they immediately start firing 10 million blaster shots at the last stormtrooper, which then starts zipping around. It smashes head-first into a cliff, it explodes, and they immediately start sinking into the ground. So you have a cacophony of noise, and two tangentially related problems that are immediately stacked on one another without any breathing room whatsoever.

What’s funny is that I thought this scene needed the exact opposite approach. I can’t remember who drew it up but somebody made it so that only Rey fires, her first shot lands, and the stormtrooper explodes. I like this because they landed in quicksand, so I would imagine it would start sinking them much quicker than what is shown on screen. They shouldn’t even have the opportunity to open fire as a group. Personally, I think allowing them to linger on the sand longer would only make that issue worse.

Post
#1425747
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v2 NOW AVAILABLE)
Time

Here is something I’m a little more proud of so far:

Rey entered a bright, white space with soaring ceilings and clean perfection. Kylo Ren’s private quarters.

She stepped forward slowly and carefully, drawn to the dagger. The room was beautiful and light-filled, but devoid of any warmth. Various artifacts were placed around the room upon pedestals. Rey thought his quarters resembled an art exhibit more than a place of rest.

On a prominent white pedestal lay a necklace. Not the one he had ripped from her neck on Pasaana - it was much simpler in design, and yet elegantly crafted. It was a pendant of some kind, an amulet, unfamiliar sigils carved in some sort of organic material, strung on a loop of leather. Rey thought the charm was beautiful. She couldn’t help but wonder what sort of significance it had to Kylo.

A few more steps brought her to another prominent pedestal, deep black in contrast with its surroundings, jutting from the shiny white floor. Displayed atop this pedestal was a warped black mask, its eyeholes and vocoder still gaping but melted like heated wax, smeared into a display of perpetual agony.

She stared at it for a long time - too long - unable to look away. She’d seen this mask in Ren’s thoughts, when he’d tried to pull Luke’s map from her mind on Starkiller Base. It had also appeared in her visions on Ajan Kloss. It had belonged to his grandfather. Was this whole place dedicated in his honor?

But that horrible mask was not what she’d come for, and she wanted nothing to do with it. She glanced around… there! On another white pedestal lay Ochi’s dagger. On a table next to it were Chewie’s things - his bowcaster and satchel.

It’s quite similar to something you’d expect Thrawn to have (art gallery), but I thought it would be fitting for the japor snippet. And by the way, the snippet was not buried with Padme according to canon, so Kylo did not have to do any grave digging on his grandma. It was left in a glass display case on Naboo outside her tomb.

Post
#1425746
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v2 NOW AVAILABLE)
Time

As for Palpatine not knowing about Rey, I see that to be a little convoluted. Clearly her parents have been in hiding for however old she is in years plus a couple extra years, so why would he wait all that time to track them down?

The sequence of events I’m thinking of is that Rey’s father escapes Exegol by hijacking the Bestoon Legacy, he flies to Jakku (which is right next to the Unknown Regions) where he meets Rey’s mom. They leave Rey there, flying off in the Legacy. Ochi is sent after them to find Rey, and also to retrieve his ship back.

Post
#1425730
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Testing is right. That is actually his true form. The ROTS novelization describes it as the “face of Darth Sidious” or something. He decides at that moment that it could be advantageous to keep it that way since it would appear that he was injured by the Jedi.

As for the clones, it’s correct that Rey’s dad is a completely different thing than those clones in the vat in canon (strandcast). However, even without the whole strandcast thingy (which I don’t care for myself) one could rationalize him as an unmodified clone, similar to Boba Fett.

Post
#1425729
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v2 NOW AVAILABLE)
Time

But if you watch the film he says/reveals a lot more information than what you said there. And as I said before, none of it would make much sense. Ex: “It was Palpatine who had your parents taken. He was looking for you. But they wouldn’t say where you were. So he gave the order.” That quote would come just after a flashback which I modified to show Rey’s dad lying to her that he would come back for her if she just kept quiet. That same person would almost certainly just reveal her location to save his life. That’s why I came up with the PTSD explanation, but that cannot be incorporated until it’s revealed he’s a clone of Palpy.

Post
#1425720
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v2 NOW AVAILABLE)
Time

I think the entire dyad fight would have to be overhauled for this idea to work properly. The reason for that is because Kylo is revealing information in the scene which makes no sense without the context that she is a Palpatine.

The only ways I can think of to solve that would be to completely eliminate the flashbacks and reveals for later in the novel (gutting the fight as a result), or to straight up reveal her true heritage in the fight. But then what’s the purpose of the hangar scene?

Ugh. I knew this might be an issue but I didn’t think it would be this hard.

Post
#1425642
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v2 NOW AVAILABLE)
Time

I’m having trouble writing this chapter with the idea that Rey’s parents were bad people. The problem is that I would have to heavily rely on the idea that her father has PTSD from Exegol. But obviously we don’t know that he was a clone experiment at this point in the novel, so there isn’t anything except spite towards Palpatine there that could explain why they don’t give up her location in the flashback. Thing is, that’s coming just after another flashback which demonstrates how inherently selfish people they are, so I don’t think spite is a good enough reason. They clearly only care about their own lives.

If anybody has any ideas to fix this, I’d definitely tinker with it some more. But I had other ideas regarding good parents that I’d like to try in the meantime (like that perhaps they actually paid Unkar to watch her, and that they only purchased drinks to cope with losing her).

I do believe her parents being good people has its fair share of issues. Not only does it really mess with Rey’s arc where she wants to prove herself because of her “abandonment”, but it’s also kinda stupid that her parents give her to Plutt of all people. I suppose the whole “proving herself” side of things could just swap from it being because of abandonment to being a Palpatine, but idk.

Sorry for the rant.

Post
#1425444
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Here’s the official/canon explanation for his behavior from the novelization (although I know most here don’t care for that):

Poe stepped into the hold from the cockpit. His face was haggard, but he seemed as determined as ever. He’d been so serious lately, often on the verge of anger ever since Crait. He felt responsible for the decimation of Resistance, Rey knew. She understood what that was like, and braced herself. She wasn’t going to blame him one bit for laying into her; she was just going to take it.

So the impression I’m getting is that he was angry at himself and taking it out on others - and droids were prime targets.

Post
#1425416
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v2 NOW AVAILABLE)
Time

Chapter 10 Changelog (was a big one):

  • Plenty of streamlining (removing unneeded details), and making things more clear
  • C-3PO cycles through his memory banks before he says that he’s saying goodbye to his friends. This is what prompts Poe to ask what he’s doing. It achieves the effect that he is also looking at Luke, Leia, and Han before he dies.
  • Finn eyes Zorii and Poe exiting the workshop longingly
  • Removed all romantic inclinations between Poe and Zorii. They are just old friends.
  • Overhauled Poe being a Debby Downer about nobody helping the Resistance:
  1. Zorii points out that Kijimi City is in a state of active rebellion, as are many other worlds. It isn’t just about the First Order instilling fear.
  2. Poe witnesses a group of teenagers doing graffiti art of a man holding a glowing sword when she tells him this.
  3. Poe admits that people are rebelling, but insists that everyone is out for themselves since nobody came to help them on Crait.
  • As a result of the aforementioned change, I have removed a second reference to the retcon that the First Order was blocking their call to the galaxy
  • Rey tells Finn that Ochi’s ship was used by her parents, not that they simply left in it (which implies that Ochi didn’t notice the screaming girl behind him).
  • 3PO’s message refers to the Sanctuary Moon of Endor. Finn refers to it as where the second Death Star exploded, not where the last war ended.
  • Chewie is not revealed to still be alive until Rey senses it. As a result, moved Kylo’s interrogation scene to directly after this.
  • To see changes to the interrogation scene, see the bottom of the last page
  • Moved Zorii’s scene from the next chapter to the end of this one
    Link:
    https://drive.google.com/file/d/15Tg1J8GT7T42bciRhcsFWJYUxdIpSN_w/view?usp=sharing
Post
#1425405
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v2 NOW AVAILABLE)
Time

Alright, I put the following directly after the Knights of Ren scene I wrote from the previous chapter. I forgot about this scene, so when I saw it I knew it had to go back in, but it didn’t fit in the next chapter. I made a few modifications to it, namely to preserve the Chewie reveal, but I also threw in a reference to Vader dialog. If it’s too overt I’ll remove it:

General Armitage Hux and a handful of other executive officers strode down a hallway of the Steadfast. They approached their Supreme Leader with some good news. Hux had been intending on delivering it first, but he was beat to it.

“Sir,” Allegient General Pryde said. “The Knights of Ren have tracked down the scavenger.”

“To the capital of Kijimi,” Admiral Griss added quickly.

“They’re searching there now,” Pryde said.

Hux needed to insert himself before his peers had delivered all the good news. He asked, “Shall we destroy the city, Supreme-”

Ren stuck a long finger in Hux’s face, using the Force to freeze his vocal chords in place.

“Set a course for Kijimi,” he commanded everyone. “I want no capital disintegrations.”

His words dismissed them all, and Kylo Ren hurried off alone. Hux stood with his hands clasped behind his back and watched him go, wondering how he always managed to say the wrong thing.

Post
#1425362
Topic
Star Wars: <strong>The Rise Of Skywalker</strong> Redux Ideas thread
Time

I totally get that, Creation. I also see TROS in that way at times.

But at the same time, after going through the novelization I came to realize how agonizingly close TROS was to being a good finale not only for the sequels but also for the saga as a whole. I guess in order to avoid that frustration for the actual movie I’ll just have to consider it exactly as you said: a goofy adventure.

Post
#1425348
Topic
Revenge of the Sith: The Faraday Nudge (released)
Time

CaptainFaraday said:

ROTS is such a flexible movie to fanedit, because it’s such a sprawling epic with so many different ideas jumbled in there. It’s perfectly competent in its theatrical cut, but there’s so much content in it that everyone can tailor it to their own interpretation of its themes and ideas. So I agree it’s got kind of a “holy grail” status to find the exact right one for each of us. What’s your preferred edit of it, out of interest?

I used the wrong analogy, my bad. I meant to say that I feel like it shouldn’t be modified or changed beyond reinserting deleted scenes. Even the goofier parts of the movie have such meme potential that it feels wrong to remove them. I’m sure other people disagree with that, but I’d be willing to bet they didn’t grow up with the movie 😉

Post
#1425289
Topic
Revenge of the Sith: The Faraday Nudge (released)
Time

I’m excited that you’re moving on to film edits! Your changelog looks promising; looks like you put a lot of effort into this.

But ROTS is kinda the Holy Grail of the saga for me, so the only edits I keep of it are extended editions. I’d still be interested in a link to check things out when it’s ready, though.