Jar Jar Bricks

I’m not sure what the use of changing that first part would be. Now, that second bit there is how I originally had it in my novelization. But then I watched the director’s commentary on the film, which surprisingly changed my mind. Having them be reverse images of each other (daughter of Vader, son of the Emperor) makes their dyad more interesting. Using the term “clone” would break that parallel. But I suppose it might be worth it to explain a bit of her father’s backstory.

The other thing we have to keep in mind is that her father looks nothing like Palpatine in the flashbacks. And we definitely don’t want him to say “a not-so-similar-looking clone of the Emperor”. Or drop the word “standcast” with absolutely no explanation what the hell that is. Lol.

Here are all the quietest lines I could get stringed together: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o93h9fWix3XZyEyxh4tuMsDfaR2XiYIG/view?usp=sharing

Here’s how the line would go:
Kylo: “Do you still count the days since your parents left? Such pain in you. Such anger. My mother doesn’t see the darkness in you. Your friends don’t either. But I do. When I offer you my hand again, you’ll take it.”

Ooh, I nearly forgot. I also generated Kylo lines to replace “I’m going to find you and turn you to the dark side”. I think most people liked that, too. I believe it went something like: “My mother doesn’t sense the darkness in you. But I do.”

Found it: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nPFZZrQmNqilvd4eZaXPgBeTZio6S1yg/view?usp=drivesdk

I could try to get it to whisper better. You’d also have to replace the line “I don’t wanna have to kill you.”
The first part more quiet: https://drive.google.com/file/d/10inxLCn6IcMfNwSuz6kghNZQe5yqESON/view?usp=sharing

For Leia, were you planning on still including: “I sense a great deal of uncertainty in you, Rey.”? I can get those other Leia lines easily enough.

For 3PO, I would like some options written out before I start generating things.

I have no idea what Poe could talk about instead of lightspeed skipping.

I mean, Poe is actually recalling specific details that were given in the message from the FO spy. So it’s not completely implausible.

Plus, it gives the audience instant context for what these things are capable of. Just in the previous movie, we see the Dreadnought annihilate the Resistance base with its big gun.

It’s definitely worthy of being in a cut of the film. The lip movement has improved significantly. I’m wondering if it might need a few minor adjustments, though.

I originally used the term “dejected”. Here are some options with “scared”:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1T9T3txv5srA-IlzlZAKiLonisQV45iXB/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MsGLnXn0Bv8EggePO-NEgif6WsNRKsBa/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1svUqUZ-GPkt477tXcLniEf3tt8zDipX9/view?usp=sharing

I like that last one the best. I’m also using like 3 or 4 other adjectives so it’s kinda set in its ways tbh.

Here ya are: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1oqWbImOKe9Yyxdq8uPlEVyuEDrY4iehJ/view?usp=sharing

EDIT: Here are a couple alternatives - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1oxGCYCnYp1SpBBALFKd7zcOu9FOh3vyf/view?usp=sharing and https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pUB39eRidmC8RhKI6GMOBxXtfOiY7BFL/view?usp=sharing

Hal wanted something really negative for Chewie to react to. The way I did it is the only way to condense all the necessary information, I think.

EDIT: To respond to you, Burbin, I was going to say “we don’t stand a chance” but I didn’t want Poe to be too doubtful about all this.

This should do it:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1u8h_AF_gtX0YwGqPfxBPzpDOy4jCQK4A/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zC_ku0-CzBY_-VSNZRk1GgqujBfijRQh/view?usp=sharing

Here’s a decent generation: https://drive.google.com/file/d/14h0B5y1LioNbtuVBdA-2j7Wi5wA1L0iC/view?usp=sharing

Wow, that was quick!

And I think that would be some nice connective tissue to TLJ by mentioning the Dreadnought. I’ll generate that shortly.

It would be nice to bring up because otherwise they just appear out of nowhere at the end for an easy explanation as to how they can destroy the ships easily.

I believe Sherlock’s edit will do that. I’m pretty sure Hal said he’s keeping that as-is.

That’s a good point, Burbin. As for the line, what about: “The fleet has heavily modified weapon systems”.

Try one of these two then:
Short: https://drive.google.com/file/d/125DfL-xWaiYCH0PAZZ3DAJoTzEElThuV/view?usp=sharing
Long: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1i51-nqkZKPBOG_CKrIPJlspzessFMQbp/view?usp=sharing

I forgot that they’re getting this report directly from the First Order (who got it from Kylo Ren). So, really, they should know all of these details.

ifjg said:

Jar Jar Bricks said:

ifjg said:

Hal 9000 said:

Here’s the best I can get the Poe lines to sound. It’d be nice to lipsync the line “His followers have been hiding something for years,” but with what’s available now this is what I can do. I don’t think it’s half bad and I doubt anyone would have batted an eye in the theater.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MsJjLxDxVwrjR8KjZNzToTiKnMRxtFVX/view?usp=share_link

Also, I can’t really remove Finn’s line about Endor being “where the last war ended” because it makes the switch in focus of the scene happen very quickly, even for TROS standards.

ALSO, I am going to use yellow lightning for the primary version of Ascendant just like the ‘Rey Nobody’ version, as I very much like how it recontextualizes her yellow saber as an integration of what she feared. BUT, I will continue to honor the poll which showed people favoring using Vader’s TIE rather than the shuttle.

I feel like the technical aspects are really executed and, not having watched the movie a whole lot since it stopped being shown on theaters, I do indeed not notice anything off. I also kind of feel like more could be done with this line, though, since his followers hiding something is already implied in the rest of the movie. Why not make it more explicit how he survived, like mentioning essence transfer or whatever the current canon explanation is? Or at least something about him having a backup plan before Vader betrayed him.

The intro has clones of him and Palpy mentioning to Kylo he can transfer his consciousness. I think most fans of the series would be able to put two and two together.

The rest of Poe’s dialog is kinda important. We also had to consider lip sync. I think the only one that could be replaced is “He’s been planning his revenge”. Maybe he could say “He was prepared for his death”. Anything more complicated than that orindary people in the SW universe wouldn’t have any knowledge of. Heck, Merry is supposed to be a Sith lore expert and the best he can give us is “Dark science, cloning, secrets only the Sith knew”.

“He was prepared for his death” works for me. Fleshes out things out just a little better without feeling like they know more than they should.

Here it is if anybody wants it: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yqJlDMYbQVdwJQjIjuKxo-Ler5s49Ptk/view?usp=sharing

Personally, I’m fine with the way we have it. Hal, if you’re happy with his current first line or want this new one, it doesn’t matter much. And you’re right, if we can just get somebody to move his mouth a bit we should have this in the bag.

ifjg said:

Hal 9000 said:

Here’s the best I can get the Poe lines to sound. It’d be nice to lipsync the line “His followers have been hiding something for years,” but with what’s available now this is what I can do. I don’t think it’s half bad and I doubt anyone would have batted an eye in the theater.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MsJjLxDxVwrjR8KjZNzToTiKnMRxtFVX/view?usp=share_link

Also, I can’t really remove Finn’s line about Endor being “where the last war ended” because it makes the switch in focus of the scene happen very quickly, even for TROS standards.

ALSO, I am going to use yellow lightning for the primary version of Ascendant just like the ‘Rey Nobody’ version, as I very much like how it recontextualizes her yellow saber as an integration of what she feared. BUT, I will continue to honor the poll which showed people favoring using Vader’s TIE rather than the shuttle.

I feel like the technical aspects are really executed and, not having watched the movie a whole lot since it stopped being shown on theaters, I do indeed not notice anything off. I also kind of feel like more could be done with this line, though, since his followers hiding something is already implied in the rest of the movie. Why not make it more explicit how he survived, like mentioning essence transfer or whatever the current canon explanation is? Or at least something about him having a backup plan before Vader betrayed him.

The intro has clones of him and Palpy mentioning to Kylo he can transfer his consciousness. I think most fans of the series would be able to put two and two together.

The rest of Poe’s dialog is kinda important. We also had to consider lip sync. I think the only one that could be replaced is “He’s been planning his revenge”. Maybe he could say “He was prepared for his death”. Anything more complicated than that orindary people in the SW universe wouldn’t have any knowledge of. Heck, Merry is supposed to be a Sith lore expert and the best he can give us is “Dark science, cloning, secrets only the Sith knew”.

I think all of the lines sound perfect except for the stockpile one. Let me generate some more options.

EDIT: Try this - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TMV2Jj8CKWBynVfCgVsDRiT9-vUK88nc/view?usp=sharing

Here is our final list (as I understand it) for your convenience:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dVY6W8eLkseJ7BV0-KoG3Jj0VlQjYDlh/view
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HXpHmoGguY9zn3ofxyX8wkMcTyPtcN9E/view
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VZqR69EoO2T7J3YKsdAWHuPYMZUZrtS6/view
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1DiNGWhhMYnVJVL0c9A1biPMYtrK8zJjo/view
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aY8aY1xJRFVrSjxRTdn64xeFka7s7O1c/view

This one is pretty close too but it’s much quieter (which I know we wanted to avoid):
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1u8YGszWZMiu1hg7whGWBQ5UU8uw-ucVa/view?usp=drivesdk

Here is a better and slower Final Order line: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1DiNGWhhMYnVJVL0c9A1biPMYtrK8zJjo/view?usp=sharing

This should be a better take on the stockpile line:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VZqR69EoO2T7J3YKsdAWHuPYMZUZrtS6/view?usp=sharing

Also, I already used the pace:Slow variable for all of these. It doesn’t get slower than this.

He’s been planning his revenge: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dVY6W8eLkseJ7BV0-KoG3Jj0VlQjYDlh/view
His followers have been hiding something for years: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HXpHmoGguY9zn3ofxyX8wkMcTyPtcN9E/view?usp=sharing
An enormous stockpile of Star Destroyers from the old war: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SEyZdLTbTlP6b6MrXVnQRTWlUASDptTQ/view?usp=sharing
He calls it the Final Order: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sQvHdg9HwAadrAh-aZzRYCjT4fS6RAcF/view?usp=sharing
The Emperor and his fleet… on a world called Exegol: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aY8aY1xJRFVrSjxRTdn64xeFka7s7O1c/view?usp=sharing

TL;DR (one file): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Y9zWnPiWQM6eMptGvIQO3LQLVQ5Deo5A/view?usp=sharing

Do we like this direction:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dVY6W8eLkseJ7BV0-KoG3Jj0VlQjYDlh/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1gugPBmJWyue7AUhfj6ZlHZrvwRYmSGSq/view?usp=sharing

I’d like to know before I try generating the rest.

I believe I used “loud” on quite a few of the latest ones. I’m not sure if I did for the original lines I submitted.

I should also mention that Rey’s Sith eyes took them completely off guard (in a good way!). They both agreed that it added a lot to her character for her to tap into the dark side in that moment.