Jar Jar Bricks

I’ve always interpreted the ghosts holding up their hands as them using the Force to keep Palpatine’s spirit trapped within his body. I’m not sure how we can make that more clear. Maybe a VFX change around Palpy? As for your other point, the reason Kylo needs to be the initial target of Palpatine is because it doesn’t make much sense for him to still want to kill Rey at this point, otherwise. Kylo is already closer to the dark, a more suitable host. He’s spent the past 20 years twisting his mind with the voices in his head. It’s why he mentions that the “Princess of Alderaan has disrupted [his] plan” after Kylo becomes Ben.

The only other complaint I have is that it might not be extremely clear Rey’s mother did give birth to her, but isn’t genetically related. We’re trying to avoid the false impression that they simply adopted a clone of Palps, because the Sith cult could do that themselves.

EDIT: I think I also preferred that they “couldn’t escape the shadow of the Sith.” Destiny doesn’t usually relate to death.

I like your first two suggestions. But, again, Rey must be viable for the sake of the plot. Nev’s explanation makes the most sense there.

What I like most about this idea is that it isn’t a complete retcon of TLJ. It’s just a clever way of taking the reveals in that movie, leaving them (mostly) the way they are, and expanding on them. The people she knows as her parents are the most unknown people in the galaxy - probably getting drunk all the time to bide their time. Kylo misinterprets currency being handed between Unkar and them as her being sold, but they instead paid for her to be looked after while they searched for Lor San Tekka. Her vision in TLJ’s mirror cave can’t show her parents because she doesn’t have any. Snoke likely knew her true identity and that’s why he wanted her killed - more competition for himself. And most importantly, it’s a dramatic reveal that is so distinct from merely being a descendant of somebody evil. It stings so much more to be told you, for all intents and purposes, ARE them.

I love that one. Explains everything very neatly. No recommendations.

There might be enough room to squeeze another sentence at the end there. Maybe something about the throne? I’m not sure.

I do like your modifications to the beginning. But my wording at the end is very specifically referencing the following: “Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you were meant to be.”

I found it ironic how the past is quite literally coming back to life in this movie. He’s basically telling her that standing idly by isn’t going to solve her problems here. She has to confront him. Which, funnily enough, is the same advice Luke later gives her.

Here’s where I’m standing atm: “The experiments to resurrect Palpatine created Snoke, and you. But after his rebirth, Palpatine would keep the Sith throne at any cost, even his heirs. Our bond goes beyond all this, Rey. The past won’t die on its own. We must kill it. And make a new future for ourselves.”

I guess I’ll start with a draft:

“Palpatine’s twisted experiments to cheat death created Snoke, but also you. But to secure his claim to the Sith throne, he was willing to do anything, even terminate his dark progeny. Our bond is beyond that, Rey. The past won’t die off. Not anymore. We have to kill it. Together.”

DOUBLE POST

Yeah, but then you miss out on the explanation of Palpatine hunting down other cloned children of his, which is arguably more relevant to the plot.

hinventon said:

I like this idea, it seems like a great way to include Rey Palpatine in a way that makes a little more sense. I think it would be cool to also do a complete Rey nobody version that focuses on the Dyad and the rule of two, removing the Palpatine connection entirely. There’s so many possibilities now!

Yup, I drafted what that would look like a few pages back. At that point, I’d honestly have a hard choice picking between the two options.

A lot of that is an improvement over what I wrote, but you definitely need to replace “unwanted children” with “dark children”.

I’m also not sure what Kylo’s motivation is in your version. Yeah, he wants to kill Palpatine with her, but then what? That’s why I did a callback to TLJ in my version. He still clearly wants to let old things die, and wants Rey by his side regardless of the recent revelations.

That can’t be the case because he threatens Kylo with the possibility of possessing him and of course is clearly intent on possessing Rey at the end of the movie.

In all likelihood Snoke wasn’t deformed at one point but he degraded due to Palpy’s possession. So he killed all of the kids that would stand to threaten him before realizing Snoke was also imperfect, but necessary until he could get Kylo to him.

EDIT: I think I’ve spotted the difference here. Snoke and Palpy’s current clone were created at the size they are and possibly both without a soul for easier possession. Whereas these children clones have to grow and have their own free will in the process. It works and makes sense.

Maybe I can re-write that to make it more clear. The current explanation is “because he grew to fear what his followers had spawned”. So basically he realized he was creating clones with the same potential as him in life, except he is currently a ghost trapped in a dying clone. That isn’t going to end well for Palpatine prime - one of the others would take over. Perhaps he didn’t trust that his followers wouldn’t just betray him and begin following one of the other clones.

EDIT: Maybe jealousy is a better way to convey this idea over fear? “Because he grew jealous of what his followers had spawned. Those children had his power.”

Here’s a v2 of the dialog:

“Rey….wherever you are…You are hard to find.”

“You are hard to get rid of.”

“I pushed you in the desert because I needed to see it…I needed you to see it…who you are. I know the rest of your story, Rey…"

“You’re lying.”

“You were right… your parents were no one. The most ideal candidates for your birth.”

“Don’t!”

“Your mother wasn’t the only one selected to deliver a child like you…”

“I don’t want this!”

“You endangered your parents.”

“No!”

“Remember them… see them…”

(Same flashback as in original film with her mom’s face swapped for a different actress - preferably a different ethnicity)

“They paid for your protection… in more than one way…”

“Stop talking.”

(Cutaway to heroes capture)

“Palpatine sent assassins to track down children like you. He found your parents. But they wouldn’t say where you were. So he gave the order.”

(Vision of Rey’s parents getting killed - face swapped again)

“So that’s where you are. You know why the Emperor’s always wanted you dead? I’ll come tell you.”

…

“Why did the Emperor come for me? Why did he want to kill a child? Tell me.”

“Because he grew to fear what his followers had spawned. Those children had his power. You… are his clone.”

“Snoke was the only genetic strand-cast spared from his purge. You have a greater claim to the Sith throne than Palpatine’s current shell. But we can still let old things die. Together. And take his fleet for ourselves."

(Removes his helmet)

“You know what you need to do. You know.”

“I know.”

I do wonder if Rey Nobody would be more up to his speed. But for a first viewing you definitely should start with the more conservative edit. If it doesn’t pan out, be sure to mention the alternative edit.

I haven’t tried editing around those yet, but doesn’t Rey start making that squinty face right before they happen? Like she’s starting to see something? I was also under the impression that trying to remove these would make things way too disjointed and fast-paced there.

Yeah… maybe.

One other thing I just realized is that they clearly cast Rey’s mom to look similar to her. Which is problematic in the case that she is genetically unrelated to her. So we would probably need to deep fake her with some other actress.

While I agree, I’m mostly thinking ahead to the end of the movie. As it stands, there needs to be at least some reason why Palpatine is able to fully restore himself. If Palpatine can just suck off (poorly worded, I know) anybody he wants to then he would have returned to full strength much sooner. It’s only the dyad that is able to grant him the good life juice.

And yes, I love the whole twisted science aspect of all this. It slots Rey as a character right in with two of the big bads of the trilogy. Palpatine’s baby purge also kinda reminds me of King Herod killing all the baby boys to stop Jesus. Fitting analogy for the season right now, I suppose.

Here’s what I’m thinking so far:

“Rey….wherever you are…You are hard to find.

“You are hard to get rid of.”

“I pushed you in the desert because I needed to see it…I needed you to see it…who you are. I know the rest of your story, Rey…"

“You’re lying.”

“You were right… your parents were no one. That’s what made them such ideal candidates.”

“Don’t!”

“Your mother wasn’t the only one selected to birth a child like you…”

“I don’t want this!”

“You endangered your parents.”

“No!”

“Remember them… see them…”

(Same flashback as in original film… perhaps a few flashes of Lor San Tekka?)

“They paid for your protection… in more than one way…”

“Stop talking.”

(Cutaway to heroes capture)

“Palpatine sent assassins to track down children like you. He found your parents. But they wouldn’t say where you were. So he gave the order.”

(Vision of Rey’s parents getting killed.)

“So that’s where you are. You know why the Emperor’s always wanted you dead? I’ll come tell you.”

…

“Why did the Emperor come for me? Why did he want to kill a child? Tell me.”

“Because he grew to fear what his followers had spawned. Those children had his power. You… are his clone.”

“Snoke was the only genetic strand-cast Palpatine spared. You’re his loose end. What he doesn’t know, is Snoke unwittingly sparked a dyad in the Force between us, Rey. Two that are one. We’ll kill him. Together."

(Removes his helmet)

“You know what you need to do. You know.”

“I know.”

I actually really like that. Even more than what we got, actually. It would line up with all future projects wherein Rey is referred to as a Palpatine, while at the same time her “parents” really are nobodies. It matches with her TLJ vision in the cave, too. She doesn’t really have any parents; she’s just Rey.

It also lines up with the books better than the movie does. In canon, Rey’s dad is a strandcast, a genetically modified clone of Palpatine. But that just makes it confusing to refer to her as Palpy’s granddaughter because, biologically speaking, she’s actually his daughter. But with this idea, instead of her dad being the strandcast, SHE is the strandcast. I suppose you wouldn’t mind using that word to make it clear she’s not a 100% clone, but rather a 95-99% clone? It would make my nerd brain happy.

I was playing Starfield when it first came out a few months ago and there’s a storyline similar to this. There’s a girl named Hadrian who is actually a clone of her “father”, a facist military leader called Vae Victus. She is the only living “clone” of his after the rest died off. She thinks he was killed, but it turns out he was secretly kept alive by his followers. Sound familiar?

EDIT: Omg, we could also finally confirm that Snoke is a strandcast in the movie, as well. Maybe he was one of the only other surrogate children of Palpatine that survived? And Rey was super lucky to not be born all deformed like that.

Hmmm. I see what you’re trying to do there - giving more reason for the ending scene. But the revelation isn’t particularly shocking for Rey to hear, which is how she reacts in the hangar scene. Plus, most people wouldn’t believe her so it really wouldn’t spead around enough to reach Palps. And even if it did reach him, why would he actually believe that it was true despite so much evidence to the contrary (Luke is committed to being a Jedi, Han and Leia only have one son).

EDIT: I’m also not sure why pushing her in the desert was supposed to hint all this to her. Clearly that line is referencing some sort of innate darkness about her.

Yeah, I get that. Luke revealing that Leia knew Rey’s secret the whole time was the thing keeping me from thinking this edit was perfect.

I’ll set aside my disdain for it momentarily. The thing about lightspeed skipping is that if you keep it the way canon explains it for future Star Wars projects post TROS, they’ll have to explain every single time somebody makes a jump to escape from an enemy why the ship isn’t tracked immediately. Hell, maybe this is why Kylo knows they’re going to Endor and not because of the dagger. It’s like opening up a giant can of worms that TLJ actually explained and put proper weight to until this happened.

I am satisfied with the line from the second version. It replicates the way that Carrie whispers the best at the end of the line. I’ve done hundreds of generations and haven’t gotten a similar result anywhere else.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1HJVzot6mTzlUYWbOqXKVzwsRvxk0UqrW?usp=sharing

Personally, if I had to pick between keeping this line or adding in the “come home” later on and using Sherlock’s v2 version of this scene (to prevent AI line overabundance), I’d probably prefer the latter. But it’s up to you.

Looking back on v4 there is one AI line that I’m not particularly satisfied with yet, and that’s the “He’s too dangerous” one. I’d love it if you could also see if one of these other two takes works better:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1HJVzot6mTzlUYWbOqXKVzwsRvxk0UqrW?usp=sharing

I do like how the first one sounds kinda like she’s coming up with a random reason on the spot, which should be a subtle hint for the change we’re making where Leia knew her heritage all along. It’s also the more emotional of the two. But the second one definitely matches her previous line the best.

EDIT: Alternatively, we could set this scene back to the way Sherlock did it in v2 to minimize how many AI lines we use off screen. Honestly I wouldn’t complain about that at this point; it’s really tricky to match her voice here.

It’s a vision. Even if you’re seeing things from the past it’s possible that’s not exactly how they appeared. For obvious reasons, Rey doesn’t know how she appeared in that moment so anything to make her believe that she’s always been Sith-like is worth including imo.

Where to even begin with lightspeed skipping? Lol.

Well, the reason why it was removed from this edit - Han’s line from ANH about imprecise calculations - isn’t even really the strongest argument for it’s removal. Rather there are several other critical issues:

1. It’s made clear that Poe knows how to do this from his days of running spice. But why would he ever need to do this when lightspeed tracking was only invented a year before this? The only reason would be if you had a physical tracker on your ship that you were trying to remove while skipping around, but that’s such a niche scenario.
2. Lightspeed tracking required the largest ship the galaxy has ever known in order to work. You’re telling me that the tech has been miniaturized to fit on a single TIE fighter in less than a year’s time? Nah fam.
3. Okay, let’s say that the TIEs are broadcasting their feed live back to a larger Star Destroyer with a tracker in it. I think this is the canon explanation. Even then, that information would have to be transmitted in real time from (quite possibly) across the galaxy in order to be useful. I just don’t buy that this is possible.

Burbin did the eyes for her flashbacks so for consistency’s sake he might have to do it again - if willing to. I agree that the best two places would be during the Sith lightning and stabbing Kylo. I don’t think the other moment would work well mostly because she is acting so scared in that moment, not angry.