GLogus

smudger9 said:

Episodes 3, 4 and 5 don’t actually do much legwork in terms of the story, the pace is really slow and there is a lot of scene repetition.

Three is a rather mediocre episode, but 4 and 5 are fan favorites so far.

Just watched 6. I thought it was pretty good except the reveal of Ezra was very anti-climactic. Not even sure how to improve that with an edit. Also, the episode was once again very slow paced.

Oh, and I’d gladly provide feedback on your Act 1.

Smudger, I watched this edit again and just can’t believe how much of an improvement it is over the original. I simply can’t give enough praise. However, have you ever thought about ending Episode 3 with Mando leaving the armor with Ahsoka to pass on to Grogu, and saving the Luke/Grogu stuff for the beginning of Episode 4?

WitchDR said:

GLogus said:

Episode 4 was so good, including its pacing, that it imo it doesn’t any significant trims. All the other episodes, however, have felt needlessly slow.

It was definitely the best episode yet. But I would say the opposite. All of the search for Ahsoka and Purgil scenes were badly paced and need to be heavily trimmed. This episode could easily be cut down to about 35ish minutes as oppose to 49 minutes. The Purgil scene especially dragged on way too long. And all of the Ahsoka and Anakin scenes should be merged together with almost no jumping back to Hera constantly telling everybody to keep searching.

I agree wholeheartedly, but I think you are referencing episode 5. Episode 5 was great, but like you said, it could lose a good 15 minutes and be much better off for it. Episode 4, on the other hand, was impressively paced and had me on the edge of my seat.

Episode 4 was so good, including its pacing, that it imo it doesn’t any significant trims. All the other episodes, however, have felt needlessly slow.

I wonder if it would make sense to actually speed up certain lines of dialogue by about 10-25%. Ahsoka’s dialogue especially is said in such a slow, hypnotic way. I’ve experimented a bit, and this rather simple approach definitely makes her delivery come off as a little punchier, with a greater sense of urgency. It also makes her sound more like her TCW counterpart, albeit with an older sounding voice.

Ahsoka really only has two broad problems. First, the pacing of the first three episodes needs to be tightened up considerably. I swear so many user reviews I’ve read say the long pauses and slow, monotonous dialogue put them right to sleep. Second, like all Disney SW content, too much of the plot seems overly contrived. Sometimes that can be mitigated, sometimes it can’t.

On another note, Episode 4 was surprisingly strong and well-paced. There’s very little I’d change there.

I know I’m late to the party, but WOW was that good! The perfect audio transitions alone speak to how masterful this edit is. The beginning felt a little too fast paced, as we are no longer given a proper introduction to the Mandalorian, but after the first 20 minutes or so, the pacing hits a good stride and the rest of the movie is more or less perfect.

This was a fantastic edit, Smudger, but it seems really obvious to me that the Grogu/Luke stuff should act as a prologue to your episode 4, rather than an epilogue to your episode 3. A well structured movie shouldn’t have so much extra material following its climax. Otherwise, literally no complaints. Great job!!

The Grand Inquisitor is an established part of Star Wars canon. Why are you so eager to remove him? Despite going a bit too far in a few places, I actually liked the infighting among the Inquisitors. It was entertaining.

Also, I thought Haja’s story was pretty well received, so I’m surprised you want to eliminate it.

Anjohan said:

Obi-Wan using the force on the window in the new, alternate Escape. Reason: Obi-Wan using the force in an impactful way does ruin the implication that when Obi-Wan DOES use his force powers in full (later saving Leia), is when Anakin can sense him. Therefore, Obi-Wan using the force can not be kept for reasons of believability and continuity.

Oops. You are totally right. I forgot about that. Sad to see it go, but I’m a big proponent of only having one kidnapping and also the way you’ve set up Vader sensing Kenobi. Can’t wait for v2. You’ve taken a pretty bad TV series and turned it into a pretty great movie.

Just a couple of thoughts on Disney Star Wars as it may pertain to this edit:

First, I’m a big fan of subtlety and nuance, whereas Disney is always heavy-handed and super obvious. They overstate nearly everything without much sophistication.

Second, I love it when the First Order is depicted as inept and stupid but hate it when the Empire is. The way I see it, the First Order are a bunch of wannabe copycats, but the Empire is the real deal, terrifying and formidable.

I’m too busy (lazy) to make my own fanedits, but if I wasn’t, I’d be guided by these overarching principles in dealing with Disney Star Wars.

Oh, and please don’t reinstate the Reva hunting Luke sequence. Her character arc is flawless without it, and keeping it in has so many unintended negative consequences.

This edit was fantastic. I love most of your creative changes, even the bold ones. Your boldest cut, cutting one of the two kidnappings, was necessary for the flow of a 2-hour film format, so I very much approve. The whole edit was very satisfying and emotionally resonant.

Some positives are that you made Reva much more intimidating by taking the “less is more” approach by having her yell less. She’s a worthy villain now.

I also like that, somehow, you have mitigated the overall ‘cheap’ feel of the production. Not quite film quality, but much better nonetheless.

I’m happy that you kept the Owen and Luke scene in the end. In my opinion it fits seamlessly given the conversation between Obi-Wan and Owen near the beginning of the film.

I did take notes while I watched, so if you ever do a v2, you can take these into consideration:

-In the saloon scene, where the Grand Inquisitor says the way to hunt Jedi is with patience, I believe Reva should still throw the knife, because it’s an effective means of drawing out the Jedi. That way, it’s a “show don’t tell” moment where, instead of a long, nonsensical speech from the Grand Inquisitor about the weakness of Jedi compassion, it is shown that the Jedi will indeed intervene to prevent someone coming into harm’s way. I feel strongly that you should keep the knife throw, because it says a lot about Reva’s character in a very brief instance.

-During the scene where Leia is kidnapped, keep the kidnapper’s answer when Leia asks him what he’s waiting for. Have him reply “for you” right before the sack goes over her head. I say that because it’s quite a frightening shot of him (I also just think it works better). Also, as you have it now, you can see the kidnapper’s mouth still moving even though he’s not saying anything.

-Reva repeats later that “the Jedi hunt themselves”. This line doesn’t work because it only makes sense if someone explains it first, but you’ve already cut the lame explanation given by the Grand Inquisitor. (Also, she wouldn’t quote the Grand Inquisitor; she doesn’t like or respect him at all, so why is she seemingly emulating him).

-Obi Wan asking Haja for help: I like the old version better. The old exchange is very abrupt, admittedly, but the new exchange just has Haja making weird facial expressions without saying anything. I think some kind of hybrid of the two versions would work best. Make it less abrupt, but have him still SAY he will help. And again, like the kidnapper scene, you can still see Obi Wan’s mouth move even though he’s not saying anything.

I’ll also add that I believe keeping the “making amends” line is appropriate. It helps to reassure Obi Wan, at the very least.

-In the escape scene, I can’t believe you cut out the part where Obi Wan was holding the glass in place to keep the water out. That part was frickin’ cool! Maybe it was too badass given that Obi Wan is just rediscovering his powers, but still…it was cool! Keep it!

-The audio transition between the Grand Inquisitor calling Reva “…The least of us,” and her saying “I want every lowlife…” is really confusing. Why does the audio have to bleed into previous shot like that? I just don’t think it works because the viewer thinks she is in the same scene saying that line rather than realizing it’s part of the next scene.

-Why does Kenobi ask Leia “How old are you?” when he was present for her birth? I get that the line is meant to be playful, but I already think Leia is a little overcooked when it comes to Disney trying to portray her as unrealistically precocious.

-The “Who’s in the gutter now?” line after Reva impales the GI doesn’t make sense because it doesn’t call back to anything. The GI mentions it only LATER, but that only adds to the confusion. I think it’s more badass if she kills him without saying anything anyway, i.e, more ruthless and cold.

-On the mining planet, Obi Wan snaps at Leia twice in a way that I find very out of character for the stoic and composed Obi Wan. This is with the “People are not all good Leia” and the “No one is coming here” lines. It is not in Obi-Wan’s character to he this negative and irritable (even if he has been having a rough few years).

-The vision Obi Wan sees of Anakin on the mining planet doesn’t really make sense or serve much of a purpose. It could just be his PTSD, but people can’t really relate to this sort of thing unless they’ve had PTSD themselves. There’s just not enough context for it, so it seems weird.

-The “Nothing wrong with a little order, right?” line seems a little on the nose. I also can’t shake the feeling that the depiction of the driver is just Disney’s idea of every Trump voter in existence.

-Obi Wan goofing and calling Leia by her real name in front of the stormtroopers is incredibly careless and stupid. He’s not that dumb (and never would have made that kind of mistake in the PT or TCW). I believe you can cut it out and still keep the conversation they later have about Padme afterwards. I also like the depiction of the stormtroopers as just regular military guys doing their mundane jobs and not being very invested. I feel like that’s lost when they start interrogating him a little harder over having called her the wrong name.

-Is it possible to use VFX to heighten the gate? I mean, you can see that it would just be so easy to walk around.

-When Tala comes and Obi Wan is ordered to the ground, HE’S STILL HOLDING AND POINTING HIS BLASTER! Perhaps the blaster could be cropped out?? It’s dumb that the officers wouldn’t have immediately ordered him to drop his blaster.

-As a general comment, there is simply too much time spent on the mining planet (before the confrontation with Vader), and the film starts to drag. I feel like there are definitely cuts to be made to tighten up this part of the film and keep the pace going.

-Just as an idea: When Obi-wan is saying sorry to Anakin and starts to cry, maybe have flashbacks to young Anakin from TPM. It could be argued that he was done dirty by the Jedi, and that’s where it all started. He was taken from his home and his mother, and then immediately Mace Windu, Yoda, and the other Jedi rejected him, meaning Anakin was more or less abandoned from the get to, i.e., he leaves his mom, the Jedi Council rejects him, Qui Gon dies, and Obi-Wan (at the time) was very reluctant to take him on. On behalf of himself and the Jedi, Obi-Wan indeed has a lot to be sorry for.

-I still have no problem with the “Then my friend is truly dead” line and still think it should be reinstated. It completes Obi-Wan’s emotional journey of ‘letting go’ by accepting that Anakin is indeed gone. It’s a powerful moment that ties well to ANH.

-On a minor note, at 2:15:39 the music transition seems rough.

Once again, great edit. Thank you for taking the time to read.

Anjohan said:

I was wondering if perhaps the emotional climax of Obi-Wan and Leia’s reunion at Alderaan would have an even bigger impact if Obi-Wan leaves her on the ship when she’s upset that he is to leave and runs off?

And then I also think that Leia sneaking Lola into his pocket would be even more emotional based on that change as well, as it tells us as the audience that even if she’s upset with Obi-Wan abandoning her on the ship, she still understands and wants him to remember her and feel safe.

It shows great character imo, and it leaves us as the audience feeling unresolved up until they reunite on Alderaan.

JEDIT:

Only issue is that she holds Lola in her hand as she’s upset and runs off. I could crop the footage to keep her out tho’. Can’t rotoscope it without wasting one year of my life.

I have a problem, generally, with how Kenobi is routinely made to look like in idiot. Up until this series, Kenobi was highly competent, thoughtful, intelligent, stoic, level-headed, steadfast, and reliable. He retains some of this in the new series, but his character is wildly inconsistent from scene to scene. My problem with the scene you are referring to, is that neither Obi-Wan nor Leia are being true to their actual characters. Leia is often presented as an adult in a child’s body, and Kenobi is often depicted as a clueless, bumbling idiot. I don’t remember the details of this scene that well, but I remember thinking it was pretty cringe for that reason.

Someone pointed out to me that Kenobi resembles the biblical Job. Kenobi is a good man who loses everything and is pushed beyond the limits of what anyone should have to endure. Rather than being weak, or stupid—as this series sometimes depicts him—he’s actually a very strong and capable man albeit saddled with a tremendous amount of adversity. I think that fact should always be kept in mind.

Would love to see both versions of v2.

revel911 said:

DZ-330 said:

Just a shower thought…

Can Obi’s:
“Then my friend is truly dead. Goodbye, Darth.”

Be edited to:
“My friend is not dead. Goodbye, Darth”

This can help to explain why Obi leaves and does not kill him. It will also explain Vader’s line of “Obi-Wan once thought as you do” in ROTJ.

There is no perfect answer. He tells Luke that Anakin is dead so the dialogue works there. Dialogue doesn’t need to explain Obi leaving, he does not because that’s who he is.

Yeah, I feel like this is trying to fix something that isn’t actually broken. I think any further effort to fix canon here is just going to draw away from the emotional impact of the scene.

topdawg193 said:

If an edit was to be attempted that gave Obi-Wan a more explicit reason NOT to kill Vader; could Obi-Wan sensing Luke in danger not be used? Bring Obi-Wan’s visions of Luke’s peril further forward, so that he senses this soon after Vader is defeated and so rushes away more immediately after their duel? It would probably entail losing the “So long, Darth” line - which is shame!

But the whole drama with Luke is just so nonsensical and, arguably, canon-breaking. And Reva’s redemption for having spared Luke is unearned. None of it works, and I feel like it’s all more offensively bad than Obi-wan sparing Vader’s life—especially since it is conceivable that Obi-Wan would spare his life.

Sirius said:

I’ll be sincere, I prefer the NFBisms version of the opening. Personally, I don’t have a problem with the fact that the NFBisms’ version doesn’t has music, after all it’s just the first five minutes of the movie and it has the sole purpose to summarizes Obi-Wan’s routine. Besides that, the absence of music makes the scene more impactful and helps to start the film really strong (and NFBisms edited it in a really unique way that just works really well). But that’s just my two cents.

I second this…sorta. I don’t have a strong preference for NFBism’s version or anything. But I think, as brief intro, and somewhat of a recap, it’s allowed to be tonally inconsistent to an extent with the rest of the film. I just don’t think it’s that much of a problem, but since you went through the trouble of making an alternate version, well…I guess that’s fine, too.

This is all coming together really nicely. It’s amazing what one guy can do that a multi-billion dollar corporation can’t.

Anjohan said:

I got this idea in my head as I was doing some finishing touches on the last duel and the ending, and… well, see for yourself:

https://streamable.com/ngan0x

So, that’s what I spent the last two hours on. I just had to put it together to see if this is something we should chase or leave alone. It’s probably too fanedit-y and radical too be included, but worth giving a shot.

Love this, personally. And I don’t think it’s too “fanedit-y” at all if it improves the flow and logic of the original material. The second rescue is far better, imo, and I don’t think it’s feasible to keep both in a TV-to-movie edit.

Octorox said:

I agree with this, and honestly I don’t see him not finishing Vader off as an issue. Sure, he recognizes that Anakin is gone, but recognizing it is one thing, and striking the killing blow himself is another. He couldn’t do it on Mustafar, and I think he still couldn’t do it here.

Precisely. We all know Kenobi is a massive softie under that stoic exterior. 😃

Anjohan said:
I hope the removal of the lines “I killed Anakin Skywalker” and “Then my friend is truly dead” will help clarify to the audience that Obi-Wan still sees his friend in there and that killing him is just not in his heart. Thank you for a great assesment of the problem.

You’re gutting the whole series of its emotional climax! Too many faneditors get so caught up in their desire to preserve canon and continuity that they will sacrifice important thematic elements of a story. This whole series is about Obi-wan being haunted by his sense of guilt over Anakin and then finally being released from that guilt. It was a powerful moment of catharsis truly unrivaled by the rest of the series. An editor’s first priority should be helping a good story come to the fore. I also think a good fanedit works with the original vision of the media, not against it. You are trying to fix something that ostensibly breaks the OT, but I assure you, you cannot make the OT one bit better or worse with this edit; you can only improve the material that you’re working with.

Anjohan said:

Also, Darth Raditz had a really cool idea. Perhaps Anakin seeing Qui-Gon stand behind Obi-Wan COULD work. His points and justification of it (on the previous page) is very impressive. Let me think about it and perhaps play around with it.

I think that would be an unnecessary distraction that would take away from an otherwise powerful moment.

I thought ep 6 more or less stuck the landing. The conclusion between Vader vs Obi Wan actually made me shed a tear. However, I didn’t think the Reva storyline resolved in a impactful, compelling, or even sensible way. In fact, her motivation for wanting to kill young Luke after being left for dead by Vader goes completely over my head. I wonder if Reva’s story shouldn’t just end after ep 5. Admittedly, that would draw away from the final scene with Owen, Obi Wan, and Luke, but the faneditor must make hard decisions sometimes.

I just didn’t care for the Reva storyline throughout, TBH. I thought the character and the actor playing her were both pretty weak. I never felt I was given a good reason to care, and her redemption was unearned (I just keep thinking about how she cut that poor woman’s hand off). I’m not for completely cutting her out of the show; I just think her hatred and lust for revenge should be her undoing, i.e., her story ends in ep 5.

Just let her be the villain. She doesn’t need to crowd out Obi Wan with her own story and redemption. Nobody came for her anyway, and she’s not a particularly sympathetic character at any point in the series. It was just Disney’s usual bait and switch that they’ve been doing as of late: People came for Obi Wan/Vader, and got a whole lot of Reva crammed in there instead.

I would love to get links to these episodes. Thanks.