Eyepainter

When we see the death star plans in ANH, change it to text that reads “be sure to drink your ovaltine.”

“Back away! I will deal with this jedi slime myself!”

“Your move!”

“You fool! I’ve been trained in your jedi arts by Jar Jar Binks!”

Continuing on with the changes I’ve made (small though they may be), we head to the next scene. A.K.A. Palpatine’s office.

When I worked on v1, I cut out the last two shots of this scene. They are of Mace Windu telling Padme that he’ll contact Obi-Wan Kenobi at once. In the last shot, Padme thanks Mace Windu as Palpatine looks at Padme. When I first removed it, I was applying the “enter late, cut out early” rule used by the Phantom Editor a little too much. At the time, I thought these last two shots were pointless and didn’t advance anything. So I didn’t think about things like pacing or giving the scene some time to breathe. The scene would end with Palpatine saying, “The thought of losing you… is unbearable.” And then the scene would end abruptly.

And I mean abruptly, because any way I sliced it, the transition to the next scene was awkward. The more I’ve looked at these two shots, the more natural the scene feels with those two shots reinstated back in the film rather than on the cutting room floor. They’re not my favorite shots from the movie, but they weren’t as pointless as I originally thought.

Moving to the next scene, I’ve decided to add two more shots to Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme’s reunion scene. Now from the start, this scene was bad. Really bad. For me, this was the scene that spelled out what the rest of the movie was gonna be like. I cut out a lot of stuff from that scene, and with good reason. However, I might’ve cut out a little too much.

In my version, Padme tells Anakin and Obi-Wan she wants to know who’s trying to kill her. Obi-Wan responds with “We’re here to protect you, Senator. Not to start an investigation.” Then, I skipped ahead to Padme saying, “Perhaps with merely your presence, the mystery surrounding this threat will be revealed.”

End scene.

Once again, as in the previous scene, I feel I applied the “enter late, cut out early” rule a little too much. I’ve decided to add in two more shots to this scene. The first shot is a reaction shot of Panaka:

In the theatrical version, there was a shot of Panaka reacting negatively to Anakin and Obi-Wan’s little spat. I deleted that little spat, and consequently removed this shot as well. For v2, however, I added this shot in after Obi-Wan says that they’re here to protect Padme. The implication being that Panaka really wants the jedi to find the assassin, and is disappointed that they’re not. It isn’t an extremely important detail, but it gives Padme some time before she says her line.

The next shot I’ve reinserted is this one:

Just to be clear, this shot is still much shorter than it was originally. All I’ve added back in is Padme’s line, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I will retire.” Everyone gets up, and then we cut to the next scene. I think these changes coincide with Walter Murch’s advice from “In the Blink of an Eye” in that they’re being re-inserted to enhance the emotion of the scenes. Episode II was the hardest movie to edit, and for that reason, I had way more going on in my mind than pacing, so it took a back seat for v1. Fortunately, for v2, I’m able to go back and fix some of these tinier issues that can affect the overall experience.

Prepping myself up for the comments I’m about to make regarding the pod race. Wondering how to make 10 minutes worth of commentary for this scene.

Here’s the first thing I’m planning on changing for v2. The opening assassination attempt.

The opening in v1, I feel, was a little too oddly timed and paced. So, for v2, I extended and added a shot to this scene to fix the pacing issues I had with it.

When I worked on v1, I cut this shot at the moment Panaka says, “We made it!” Now that I’m older and wiser, I’ve extended the shot and removed Panaka’s line through sound editing instead. He takes a glance at Padme…

…Then, after the shot of the decoy walking down the steps, I’ve inserted this shot where Panaka turns his head towards the ship.

And yes, Panaka’s ever-so-intelligent line, “I guess I was wrong. There was no danger at all.” is still deleted. For obvious reasons.

The last change I’ve made to this scene occurs here. I was reluctant to make this one back in v1 for fear of people noticing Panaka’s lips moving, but I wanted to make this scene mostly dialogue-free. For that reason, I went through the sound editing and removed Panaka’s line, “My lady, you’re still in danger here!” The shot is still the same, but Panaka’s lines have been removed. I do not have the technology to make Panaka’s lips stay still. So alas, you will see Panaka’s lips move if you pay close attention, but I’ll accept the flaw. With that line removed, the only bit of dialogue said in the opening is now Padme’s “Corde!” Otherwise, the scene is close to that of a silent film, giving a heavier feel to this moment.

Getting ready to comment on Darth Maul.

Anakin Starkiller said:

“Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy looking Nerf™ herder hoarder!”

Leia makes a personal attack on Han’s hobby of collecting Nerf guns. Recolor his blaster to be brightly colored and plasticky accordingly throughout the films.

Better yet, after Leia says her “Nerf-hoarder” line, have Han pull out a Nerf gun on Leia and say, “Who’s scruffy looking? It’s Nerf or nothing!” before he fires a foam bullet at Leia’s face.

Just cut things down to around 90 minutes now. I’m starting to run out of ideas for what to cut next. It’s looking like v2 will be slightly longer than v1. I’ll discuss some of the changes and extensions I’ve made to v2 sometime soon.

Making my comments on Anakin having no dad.

At the end of AOTC, add in a passionate and romantic sex scene between Dooku and Palpatine.

Well, it’s been a while.

Anyway, while I’ve been working on the commentary track for Episode I, I’ve just edited my way through Episode II in my free time. So far, I’ve reduced everything down to 92 minutes. I’m trying to see if I can cut it all down to 88 minutes like in v1, but finding things to take out of the edit is getting difficult. There are no major changes to speak of this time around (Like in v3 of my Episode I edit). Most of what’s changed from v1 are a bunch of pacing and timing issues. I’ve added a shot here, a line there, a cutaway where there was no cutaway before, etc. I’m not sure how the edit managed to get 4 minutes longer other than perhaps the blu-ray source is edited differently from the Schorman13 preservations, thus changing the timing on certain things.

I’ll discuss what’s new for v2 when I’ve started to finalize the changes. Until then, I’ll keep cutting away and see if anything else can be reduced.

Hal 9000 said:

Wow, that was interesting. I don’t hate it. Could imagine it playing over the crawl.

It’s not that it’s a bad song. It’s just that it doesn’t work very well with Star Wars. It’s like combining peanut butter with ketchup. I enjoy both, but putting them together would make for a nasty sandwich.

Hal 9000 said:

Also Sprach Zarathustra.

The three-note horn comes in during the ALTAIAGFFA title card, the the dramatic blast as the SW logo appears.

Better funkify it first for holiday special levels of bad, like this version does:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qJK3eUP5Hvg

DeviousWorgen said:

Could I get the link?

Yes, you may!

CaptainFaraday said:

Pursuant to this: what’s the funniest/worst piece of music to replace the Star Wars theme with over the crawl?

That question could contain a thousand possibilities, so I’ll land on the first thing that popped into my head, which is this one:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=79QxturUolo

I guess I’ll be the third to echo everyone else’s sentiments, although I suppose it depends on what the aliens are.

Anyway, substitute all of Snoke and replace him with the stay-puft marshmallow man from Ghostbusters.

Make Darth Vader and the Empire a bunch of evil atheists, and make Luke and his rebel friends a bunch of Christians.

Commenting my way through the dinner table scene.

CaptainFaraday said:

Ed Slushie said:

Re-dub all of Threepio’s lines with an AI trained to imitate Youtuber Scott The Woz.

Redub Artoo with AVGN.

You can’t do that! Everyone knows that you have to add in a CGI Rolling Rock for Artoo to drink out of in order for that to work.

Atom-88 said:

Ahhh well that makes more sense it showing his dark side, I never thought of it that way.

Thanks again Eyepainter, Hoping to Watch Episode II tonight after work.

P.S

Thank you for the mention after the credits, very much appreciated thank you.

You’re welcome!

Speaking of Episode II, I’ve just started work on v2. I’ve only gotten through the first five or ten minutes, but I’m making rapid progress. I’ll update my Episode II forum when I’ve edited my way through all 142 minutes.

When Rey tries to use the jedi mind trick on the stormtrooper in TFA, add in this song and give Rey a lip sync to the lyrics.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eTI8hgWJh-I

This way, we can better understand just how bad she is at using the force.

jarbear said:

Replace Force with Schwartz

I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again at last… And I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.

Atom-88 said:

Hi Eyepainter, Would first like to say thank you for sharing your edit with me.

Well just finished watching your edit and wow I really enjoyed it (Not that I had any doubts that I wouldn’t), I loved the pacing and the way it all flowed all smoothly. The colour grading was also awesome and somehow gave the movie a nice fresh feeling.
I loved the edition of puppet Yoda as it is something I haven’t seen since viewing it originally at the cinema when TPM was released, Only the slightest of gripe is the scene where with Anakin fighting a young Greedo looking alien but that said the alternate scene with Jar Jar isn’t exactly any better.

Thank you once again Eyepainter, Looking forward to checking Episode II out later this week.

You’re welcome! Glad you enjoyed it!

I’m resuming work on the commentary track today. Just finished talking about the Anakin fight scene you mentioned, actually, although I personally love it myself. If nothing else, it was one of the few scenes from Episode I that showed Anakin’s dark side. And for that reason alone, I thought it was essential.

Hope Episode II lives up to your expectations! 😃

Compressed version is now online. Sending PM’s now.

Mario said:

Eyepainter said:

Mario said:

Eyepainter said:

The original ending to my edit isn’t in and of itself bad. However, there were things I didn’t know about editing back when I worked on Episode I. One thing I didn’t know was how to restructure and rearrange entire scenes. That was something I didn’t learn until Episode II forced me to. The arrangement of Episode I’s ending for v1 and v2 was pretty much exactly as it was theatrically. However, the arrangement and cutting between the four story lines was excessively messy in the theatrical version as well. So, for v3, I wanted to get those scenes rearranged into something that was simpler and easier to follow.

I decided to tackle the four endings using a three-act-structure approach, which is pretentious language talk for basic writing 101. I would start with the first act and set up the four plotlines (which ended up just as it was theatrically), then get into the second act where the conflict parts of all four storylines go on (and also where the changes officially begin), take all four storylines to their lowest point (A.K.A. the gungans lose, Anakin gets hit, Obi-Wan loses his lightsaber, etc.) and finally reach the resolution of all four plotlines by giving them a third act. My hope is that restructuring the endings this way will make the ending a lot simpler and easier to follow than it already is.

As for the Gunga city scene, don’t expect a major overhaul. It is just two extra shots after all. However, it may pad out the scene a little more.

I like the suggestion about Anakin hearing Qui-Gon’s voice, but there’s a problem with how fast the scene goes by. There aren’t any shots long enough to contain Qui-Gon’s line until after Anakin has sealed the control ship’s fate and gone flying his way out. Most of the shots in the theatrical version before Anakin shoots his way out are very short. I think most of them are only one or two seconds on average. It would be a really cool idea if it could be done, but I’m not sure how at the moment.

I had never a problem with the structure of the final battle, but I’m really looking forward to see what you have do with your edit. I will enjoy it 😏 The point with Qui Gons Voice is correct. The scene is too short.

Yup. I was afraid of that. Anyway, I’m sending the PM for the lossless version now. I’ll see if I can upload the compressed version today once I get off work.

Thank you for the link. 😏 Let’s see what you have do 😎

Hope you enjoy it!

Anyway, just got back from work. I’m starting the upload for the compressed version now.