Eyepainter

Change the color of Palpatine’s lightning from blue to pink.

To make the franchise more realistic, have all of the human characters speak in an unknown alien language. To make it even more realistic, do not add subtitles.

Begin TFA with Randy Marsh’s speech to President Garrison on how terrible the new Star Wars movie was.

Randomly insert the phrase, “I am the walrus! Goo-goo-ga-joog!” into all 9 movies without any explanation why.

Oh yeah, and when Qui-Gon dies in Obi-Wan’s arms, this is played:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5Wc3kwv0Ddw

DMC said:

Servii said:

Every time a Jedi or Sith does a flip, add an audio clip of Mario saying “Yahoo!” Or “Wahaa!” from Mario 64.

When Anakin gets burned by lava

When Qui-Gon gets stabbed by Darth Maul:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pn27GEzEsU8

Aleksis Pakarinen said:

i actually thought giving R2 dialogue in The Phantom Menace might be funny, and have him talking with the other R2 units and droids in scenes where they are together and imply the only reason Aniken can fly the fighter or launch it is because R2 needed to wait for a pilot to be in the seat before he could take off, and basically R2 turns out to be the real pilot for most of the flying and the reason the fighter autopilots into the battle zone is because that is R2 literally leading him into battle and using him as a meat shield to join his fellow astromech brethren in the glory of combat against the taller droids. Eventually Anakin grows on R2, but it starts out a very rough and abusive relationship where R2 is just trying to fit in with his fellow astromechs. He even volunteers for the suicide mission of flying into the droid ship and blowing it up from the inside out, that is why anakin spins out of control and ends up in their, hes fighting for control of the fighter from R2 and basically losing the entire way.

The beauty of this edit is it explains alot of how events happen and why Anakin becomes such a famous pilot, because of his droid using him for his own glory among his droid brethren

I would’ve been just fine with R2-D2 having the voice of Samuel L. Jackson. That way, when C-3P0 tells R2 “you watch your language” in ANH, it makes perfect sense because we can now hear every f-bomb R2 has uttered.

“Blow that piece of junk out of the sky!”
“But my lord, is that legal?”

Anakin Starkiller said:

Give Luke a green milk mustache in TLJ and a blue one in ANH.

Add a “Got Milk?” logo on the bottom right of the screen every time Luke has the 'stache.

Servii said:

I think the crawls do set the mood for the audience. They tell the viewer that what they’re watching isn’t going to be just another action movie, but something grand and operatic (though that feeling has diminished with the films after the OT). Also, they help enable that more “in medias res” form of storytelling that can throw the viewer right into the action without being confused by the time jump between films. Though I’d argue that some of the films (namely RotJ and TLJ, and possibly ESB) don’t need the crawls and would be perfectly understandable without them.

I wouldn’t say that the crawls are unnecessary. When executed right, they do a good job of giving the audience foreshadowing and something to pay attention to (ANH is a classic demonstration of this). Unfortunately, that became sort of a lost art once TPM was released.

Going back on topic now. Let’s give Holdo a Hitler mustache.

Servii said:

Change Obi-Wan’s Krayt Dragon call in ANH to a Godzilla roar.

Or DMX’s X Gon’ Give it to Ya. You know, to be hip with millennials.

Atom-88 said:

Some really cool changes Eyepainter 👍

Thanks, Atom! My apologies for not responding sooner, although that’s mainly because my family is moving. My mind has been preoccupied with that for the time being. Rest assured, though, that I’m still at work on the edit (just not as much until I’ve come up with a plan for the move). I’ve also been entertaining some exciting fanediting ideas for the future. I don’t want to announce those ideas yet, but I’m strongly considering them.

The next thing I’ve changed is a small one, but nevertheless, a technical improvement.

One little bit that I was quite nitpicky about was Mace Windu’s mentioning Anakin’s name twice. It’s a small annoyance, but one I wanted to fix. In v1, I cut out Mace Windu’s “Anakin” in the middle of Yoda’s shot. At the time, I didn’t know how sound editing worked, so all I did was cut it out visually. Right in the middle of Yoda’s shot. So for v2, I decided to cut out Mace Windu’s line via sound editing instead, thus leaving this shot unbroken for v2.

The next change is something different. For once, I’m going to discuss something I’ve deleted.

Yes, this is the ever so wonderful moment where Obi-Wan orders Anakin not to leave Naboo without consulting him or the council. I wasn’t sure if I could cut this line out because of fear that cutting it might affect the plot later on. Admittedly, this was never a good moment, especially since it only gives us more of the antagonism between Obi-Wan and Anakin. So, I’m happy that I was able to cut this bit out for v2 (not to mention this useless subplot, but that’s for a later post). The more antagonistic moments of Obi-Wan and Anakin that I can remove, the better.

“There’s been no one for so long. Who are you?”

“Bond. James Bond.”

“Where is Padme? Is she safe? Is she alright?”
“It seems in your drunkenness, you had sex with Obi-Wan in front of her.”
“I… I couldn’t have. She was unconscious! I felt it!”

arabian said:

This sounds interesting. Can I get a link, please for v3?

Yes, you may!

In other news, I have a quick update. My family is going to be moving over the next 9 months. I will continue to work on the commentary track for as long as I can while I’m packing things. However, I think the inconveniences speak for themselves on this one. My apologies in advance. I will update everyone on the move as things go on.

Hal 9000 said:

Makes me wonder where Jedi Rocks could be edited into each of the movies, as an audio-only alteration.

So many suggestions and no mention of the cantina scene from ANH?

Still commenting my way through the pod race.

The next change I’ve made is at the end of the assassination attempt on Padme’s life:

Once again, I feel like I applied “enter late, cut out early” too much. I took out the line, “Are you alright, my lady?” from v1. When I first cut this moment out, my logic was best described as “Come on, this is pointless. We don’t really need that, right?”

But looking back, ending the scene with Anakin running out of the room seemed oddly paced. Not to mention that reinstating this moment where Padme’s handmaiden asks if she’s alright gives the scene a better transition to the ensuing action sequence that’s about to occur.

My next alteration is arguably the biggest one. This change alone is responsible for why v2 is 2 minutes longer than v1. What I’ve done is simple. I’ve added back more shots of Zamm in her cockpit:

Let me explain.

With v1, I wanted to add in a mystery element to the bounty hunter chase sequence. I accomplished this by taking out a lot of shots where we see Zamm’s face. I took inspiration from the sniper scene in Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket where the first time we recognize her existence is when she fires a bullet at Obi-Wan. Then gradually, as Obi-Wan and Anakin pursue her, they see her face. Well, at least Anakin does.

I wanted to make sure that mystery element still existed for v2, but I feel like the approach I took in v1 was rather clunky. I was trying to reveal Zamm’s face as late as possible, but I think that might’ve been a mistake. We see Zamm’s face for the first time in the middle of the scene where Anakin is trying to grip onto the speeder. And looking back, her first official shot wasn’t that good either.

So, I decided to show her face earlier in the scene rather than later. Now, for v2, Zamm’s face is revealed the moment Anakin jumps out of his speeder and latches onto her speeder instead. This meant bringing back a lot of Zamm’s reaction shots and an extra shot of Anakin trying not to fall off the speeder from Zamm’s POV. While there is a part of me that wishes Zamm’s face could be revealed later, I think revealing it at this point instead feels more natural and intuitive by comparison.

When we see the death star plans in ANH, change it to text that reads “be sure to drink your ovaltine.”

“Back away! I will deal with this jedi slime myself!”

“Your move!”

“You fool! I’ve been trained in your jedi arts by Jar Jar Binks!”

Continuing on with the changes I’ve made (small though they may be), we head to the next scene. A.K.A. Palpatine’s office.

When I worked on v1, I cut out the last two shots of this scene. They are of Mace Windu telling Padme that he’ll contact Obi-Wan Kenobi at once. In the last shot, Padme thanks Mace Windu as Palpatine looks at Padme. When I first removed it, I was applying the “enter late, cut out early” rule used by the Phantom Editor a little too much. At the time, I thought these last two shots were pointless and didn’t advance anything. So I didn’t think about things like pacing or giving the scene some time to breathe. The scene would end with Palpatine saying, “The thought of losing you… is unbearable.” And then the scene would end abruptly.

And I mean abruptly, because any way I sliced it, the transition to the next scene was awkward. The more I’ve looked at these two shots, the more natural the scene feels with those two shots reinstated back in the film rather than on the cutting room floor. They’re not my favorite shots from the movie, but they weren’t as pointless as I originally thought.

Moving to the next scene, I’ve decided to add two more shots to Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme’s reunion scene. Now from the start, this scene was bad. Really bad. For me, this was the scene that spelled out what the rest of the movie was gonna be like. I cut out a lot of stuff from that scene, and with good reason. However, I might’ve cut out a little too much.

In my version, Padme tells Anakin and Obi-Wan she wants to know who’s trying to kill her. Obi-Wan responds with “We’re here to protect you, Senator. Not to start an investigation.” Then, I skipped ahead to Padme saying, “Perhaps with merely your presence, the mystery surrounding this threat will be revealed.”

End scene.

Once again, as in the previous scene, I feel I applied the “enter late, cut out early” rule a little too much. I’ve decided to add in two more shots to this scene. The first shot is a reaction shot of Panaka:

In the theatrical version, there was a shot of Panaka reacting negatively to Anakin and Obi-Wan’s little spat. I deleted that little spat, and consequently removed this shot as well. For v2, however, I added this shot in after Obi-Wan says that they’re here to protect Padme. The implication being that Panaka really wants the jedi to find the assassin, and is disappointed that they’re not. It isn’t an extremely important detail, but it gives Padme some time before she says her line.

The next shot I’ve reinserted is this one:

Just to be clear, this shot is still much shorter than it was originally. All I’ve added back in is Padme’s line, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I will retire.” Everyone gets up, and then we cut to the next scene. I think these changes coincide with Walter Murch’s advice from “In the Blink of an Eye” in that they’re being re-inserted to enhance the emotion of the scenes. Episode II was the hardest movie to edit, and for that reason, I had way more going on in my mind than pacing, so it took a back seat for v1. Fortunately, for v2, I’m able to go back and fix some of these tinier issues that can affect the overall experience.

Prepping myself up for the comments I’m about to make regarding the pod race. Wondering how to make 10 minutes worth of commentary for this scene.

Here’s the first thing I’m planning on changing for v2. The opening assassination attempt.

The opening in v1, I feel, was a little too oddly timed and paced. So, for v2, I extended and added a shot to this scene to fix the pacing issues I had with it.

When I worked on v1, I cut this shot at the moment Panaka says, “We made it!” Now that I’m older and wiser, I’ve extended the shot and removed Panaka’s line through sound editing instead. He takes a glance at Padme…

…Then, after the shot of the decoy walking down the steps, I’ve inserted this shot where Panaka turns his head towards the ship.

And yes, Panaka’s ever-so-intelligent line, “I guess I was wrong. There was no danger at all.” is still deleted. For obvious reasons.

The last change I’ve made to this scene occurs here. I was reluctant to make this one back in v1 for fear of people noticing Panaka’s lips moving, but I wanted to make this scene mostly dialogue-free. For that reason, I went through the sound editing and removed Panaka’s line, “My lady, you’re still in danger here!” The shot is still the same, but Panaka’s lines have been removed. I do not have the technology to make Panaka’s lips stay still. So alas, you will see Panaka’s lips move if you pay close attention, but I’ll accept the flaw. With that line removed, the only bit of dialogue said in the opening is now Padme’s “Corde!” Otherwise, the scene is close to that of a silent film, giving a heavier feel to this moment.

Getting ready to comment on Darth Maul.