EddieDean

Right, s01e06 - CHILDREN OF DATHOMIR is rendering now (productive day today!), though it might take a few hours to upload so it might be morning UK time before I have it available for you all. I’m calling this one a RELEASE version rather than a REVIEW version because I don’t think there’s anything unfinished barring tweaks from feedback.

I picked the name because the focal characters are Ventress and Savage plus the hint of the ‘lost’ child Maul. Though I could maybe have swung for a name that highlights that it’s about five different kinds of bad guy all hating each other. I think this one emphasises their relationships a bit more though.

It’s a long episode though - 61 minutes including credits. I’m interested to know how you guys feel when you watch it - obviously normal movie length could be double that, but for a TV episode it may feel like an endurance task. I think it’s well paced though, so it might just whip by. I think it’s likely that some of the later four episode arcs I might cut down into two parts each, and there is a decent enough split point at about 30 mins in, so it’s possible. But I’ll base that on your feedback.

I’ve kept Katuunko in after your early feedback on my idea, since it’s not an egregious appearance, and this way I don’t have to explain why Anakin and Obi-Wan have a new ship.

I’ve taken a fair amount out of the trials in Monster. Originally it had three trials, which were quite boring. I’ve trimmed the whole thing to entirely focus on Savage and Feral. Now, Ventress only selects that pair (after being obviously pissed off with many of the others - in my headcanon it’s because Savage is the obvious choice, and because she wants to use the bond with Feral to break him.) She chooses them, and we cut straight into what was the third task (after the others had all been eliminated, originally), where Feral struggles, and Savage submits, though not before showing his might.

The rest is just polish and trims to keep it smooth.

** EDIT: THE FOLLOWING TEXT IS NOW OUT OF DATE, IT REPRESENTS AN EARLIER INTENTION**
This episode, bear in mind, is the last of my (production) season one, which I intend to be the mission statement for the show. I’d like these six to be what you’d recommend someone watch in order to get a feel for the show and decide whether you want to stick with it. Six episodes to tell the new viewer what TCW is, and also six episodes to tell the existing viewer what TCW:Refocused is. I’d be very interested in feedback that considers the six as a whole, and what it tells you about the show moving forward.

RogueLeader said:

Does it have to just be a two-week time span? Perhaps some of those lines would make more sense if they have been there longer, like three to six months at least. Or maybe even TWO MONTHS LATER.

The thing this has to balance against is that Anakin’s been actively pursuing Grievous throughout this time, without Ahsoka. I think a couple of weeks is enough to get the Rookies established on a listening post, whilst for Anakin and Obi-Wan this pursuit is only just at the extreme end of going on too long as a strategic priority. That’s where I’m at mentally for now, anyway.

Some good thoughts there Artan, cheers.

Not sure I see the issue with “heck” vs “hell” - Star Wars has always had odd real-world expletives so this never felt out of place for me, unless there’s something I’m missing?

Interesting take on Clone Cadets. Do you not feel that it’s necessary to focus us on our main characters and give a little extra context? Even without the Echo/Fives/Hevy setup, it feels necessary to set up 99/bad batchers, does it not? Interested to see if there’s a community consensus on this.

Agreed on the comments about Rookies/ARC Troopers though, I’ll revisit that when I come to polish it.

CMMAP said:

EddieDean said:

s01e05 The 501st Legion - OPTION 2 available

That’s the updated version with the smaller start, it’s in the spreadsheet under the new ALT LINK column, highlighted in yellow.

It seems there is some kind of problem with your google drive, specifically with this episode. If i click the alt link from the spreadsheet, it says „access denied“ at the google drive website

Should be fixed now, thanks for the spot.

s01e05 The 501st Legion - OPTION 2 available

That’s the updated version with the smaller start, it’s in the spreadsheet under the new ALT LINK column, highlighted in yellow.

Hey folks,

I’m not going to pick this up for a good while, because I’m working on my Clone Wars Refocused project, but for a while I’ve been teasing myself with a reordering to the MCU, so I figured I’d dump my thoughts here in case the hivemind wants to help me mull this over.

The main motivation is to make it so that, on a binge watch, you’re just kinda getting a more balanced bite of everything, without any two movies being too similar in tone, and spreading the characters out a little more. We mix cosmic with Earth a bit more consistently, lighter with heavier, etc.

I want to release it in chronological order, too. But not official chronological, just a watch order that doesn’t break anything.

I think the main thing that’ll need to be done is essentially to make a decision on the order, then some thought put into moving around the various end credits scenes.

Here’s my current working order:

1. Captain America 1: The First Avenger (REMOVE Cap waking up and Cap gets a mission until before Avengers 1)
2. Captain Marvel (REMOVE Carol’s return until before Endgame)
3. Iron Man 1
4. Incredible Hulk 1 (REMOVE general Ross scene entirely, it’s not relevant)
5. Thor 1 (ADD Cap waking up, REMOVE Loki hypnotising Selvig until just before Avengers 1)
6. Iron Man 2 (ADD Loki hypnotising Selvig)
7. AVENGERS 1 (imply Loki is (willingly?) hypnotised depending on whether the Loki TV show confirms the out-of-universe retcon, possibly make staff yellow since it got retcon’d into the Mind Stone by Avengers 2)
8. Thor 2: The Dark World (imply Loki was hypnotised as above?, if you can remove the purple girl from the handover scene you might be able to imply this comes after GotG and flip them in order to get the Guardians in play sooner?)
9. Iron Man 3 (ADD All Hail the King?)
10. Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier
11. Guardians of the Galaxy 1
12. AVENGERS 2: AGE OF ULTRON
13. Doctor Strange 1 (REMOVE Thor and Loki visiting entirely)
14. Ant-Man 1 (REMOVE Bucky talking to Cap and Falcon until ???)
15. Guardians of the Galaxy 2
16. Captain America 3: Civil War (REMOVE Cap saving team from raft until end of Black Panther, to allow more drama?)
17. Ant-Man 2: Ant-Man and the Wasp (REMOVE snap bit until after Infinity War)
    ??. Black Widow goes here??
18. Spider-Man 1: Homecoming
19. Black Panther 1 (ADD Cap saving team from raft?)
20. Thor 3: Ragnarok
21. #AVENGERS 3: INFINITY WAR (Add Ant-man snap bit and Carol’s return)
22. #AVENGERS 4: ENDGAME
23. Spider-Man 2: Far from Home

I may not have explained this very clearly but I thought I’d dump my thoughts and see where this takes us.

Nah man it’s totally fine! I think I agreed anyway - in isolation it felt right to have two tests, but given the following context it feels better as one. I’m looking forward to you guys getting a taste of s01e05 OPTION 2, because I think getting through Clone Cadets even faster gives the whole arc a real sense of coherence, and will help that focus throughout the show, which I feel is going to be valuable.

CMMAP said:

McFibb said:

Nice work everyone. Just a heads up tho, that outro is about 2 versions older than the current version! Here’s the most recent “published version, with additional tweaks still in the works c/o @EddieDean feedback: https://vimeo.com/499092432

regarding your new one:

• kind of loved the beginning up till 1:47 (except the first 2-3 seconds - there i like the old version of 2 revisions back and it was overall too loud - as long as the episode is going it should be quieter) 😃 you’re leaning towards a mando end of episode thing.
• 1:48 - 2:40, personally didn’t liked it. sorry. the old one is my fav, but fall after 2:40 is just fantastic!

Huh, I just noticed that I just privately gave McFibb this exact feedback. @McFibb buddy, take note!

Onwards now to Nightsisters, which should be a quick one as I’ve said. I had a busy couple of weeks recently but I can absolutely smash it in the evenings and all day at the weekend until this coming Sunday. I should settle nicely into a good two-week cycle now where I get loads done every other week.

OK, that’s rendering now. I’ll let you guys know when it’s uploaded.

It’s now a very snappy six minutes, making the whole episode a tidy 46 mins.

The edit plays as follows:

1. Bric tells Domino Squad they suck, and 99 sticks up for them (this is only half of the original bedtime scene)
2. Fives and Echo attempt to move squads
3. Domino Squad have their first and only test, which highlights the characters of Fives, Echo, and Hevy, and then they fail it mainly because Hevy leaves a man behind
4. Bric and El-Les confirm the fail as 99 listens on
5. Hevy tries to leave and is convinced not to by 99

That cuts right into TWO WEEKS LATER, where Rookies continues to highlight that trio and gives us Hevy’s death, then later ARC Troopers focuses on Echo and Fives whilst paying off Hevy’s relationship with 99. To me, this whole thing feels SUPER focused, with all of the scenes flowing together really nicely, and for that reason I really like this cut, so unless anyone really objects I think this’ll become the master.

As always guys, this improvement is hugely because of your feedback, so please always keep it coming. If you’ve had a thought but haven’t seen it shared, please don’t be shy, jump in and say it. And even if you’re just agreeing with someone else, that “+1” will always be heard because often it takes a little volume for me to get a sense of where you’re all at. So please continue to share your criticisms, thoughts, ideas, and suggestions.

Note that I haven’t made any other fixes to the episode, though I have noted everything previously discussed. If you guys confirm that this is your preferred version, once I have McFibb’s final intro and outro credits music I’ll patch up the whole thing.

Literally as we speak! 😉 Give me ten minutes and I’ll be telling you that it’s rendering!

It’s to show she’s a true Skywalker. True Skywalkers react the most emotionally over the deaths of people they’ve literally just met. Aunt and Uncle foster parents that you’ve known your whole life charred to bits? No reaction. Old hermit you’ve just met chooses to die fighting a cyborg? Big sad.

So, thinking about that:

• If we want to have only one test, then it should be the first half of the first cut into the second half of the second. The first half of the first because it has the main character exposition.
• If we have the first half of the first, we therefore have the combined test overseen by Shaak Ti rather than by Commander Colt, because she gives the exposition.
• Commander Colt is necessary to show up to tell them they’ve failed, but I don’t think it’s particularly worth emphasising his character via the introduction/Bravo squad scene, EXCEPT if the replacement start needs a slightly punchier kick-off, which his scene gives. (Without context, he’s just an instructor or adjudicator.)
• The Bravo squad scene would only slow us down, I think it’s only necessary if this episode itself has a three-act structure, which it no longer does.
• Scenes that should definitely be kept if we’re going for a single test version are the second test, Bric and El-Les’ recut dialogue which emphasises failiure, and Hevy deserting.
• But before that second test, we currently have the clones arguing about failing their first test (quite useful but not a great opening), Echo and Fives asking to change teams (useful and good but not a great opening), and Shaak Ti and Lama Su discussing clones (not vital and distracts a little from the main message of this act, but fine).
• None of those really work as an opening scene, and I don’t think the Commander Colt scene would fit there since he’s implying they’re going to be tested right away, but cut this way they’d go to bed and stuff.
• You could maybe start halfway into the clones arguing with themselves scene, at the part where Bric calls them down from bed and tells them they’re useless. That, I think, is the only decent start other than the first, if it follows from an intro which explains they’ve failed their final practice test.
• Therefore I think the only viable alternative would be: Bric criticises Domino Squad for failing > Echo and Fives ask to change teams > Combination first/second test FAILED > Bric and El-Les confirm fail > Hevy attempts to desert > TWO WEEKS LATER into Rookies.

Hmm, OK. I’ll put some more thought into options for that first part. Thanks guys!

Yeah, 2:40 in that video is delightful. Bombast and hitting a good few SW themes is great (as then the music serves to tie together a little of the anthology feel), but I think our initial drop has to be soft and meditative. That piano is lovely. But then, sure, we can get hype.

mikereese971 said:

For Nightsisters, what would people think of adding “Massacre” as the grand finale? I know it’s technically/chronologically considered a separate story; but I felt during my recent rewatch that thematically, it’s tied very closely to the main “trilogy.” It definitely feels more connected to the main Nightsisters arc than to “Bounty” (which comes next, according to the official guide). Adding it to this story would make it more of a finale for this chapter in Ventress’s life, and it allows for more time for her to move on before we see her next in her new role.

That being said, that would make this the first four-part adaptation in your series, correct? Is it too early in the show to be making episodes that are that long?

I think it’s too soon for a massive episode like that, especially since it doesn’t feature Ahsoka. We do get Massacre very soon, but right now the focus for Dooku/Grievous is on the main front of the war, and I’m trying to keep the first season really tight so we get to our first hint of Maul ASAP.

Chase Adams said:

That’s looking great EddieDean!

Quick question though,
I’m not sure but, have you added any addition panning to the shots I did? Cause I based the animations around some more subtle panning that I had key-framed to be just enough to make it work. Maybe it might look a little better if there wasn’t any more significant movement across the shots? I understand that you probably want to show as much of each image as possible since the aspect ratio needed to be shrunk, but I think it would work better without.

Can’t wait to show you guys the next batch of images!

Yeah, it was related to the aspect ratio, it needs to be 1680x816. Happy for you to release at that ratio, or I can tweak your outputs once I have them - your call.

Let’s all celebrate Chase’s gorgeous art and McFibb’s gorgeous arrangements with this gorgeous final(?) outro from my episode s01e04 The 501st Legion:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1X-6htoS7MhsepbTjWWnjvmafqttqilmm/view?usp=sharing

Isn’t that gorgeous…!

Hal 9000 said:

Okay, I don’t know if that’s helpful as I’m just giving you my thoughts as I imagine having them if this were a new show.

Totally useful Hal, thanks. It’s really useful to have these eyes. This arc does indeed set up some important clones coming forward, and like you say, this (and a couple of the earlier episodes) establish much more of clone personality. As you’ve noticed, they’re not docile/obedient… Though essentially the main clone plot throughout this show is an exploration of their relationship with their orders, mostly shown through Captain Rex, who gets some interesting loyalty based storylines.

The quick pacing is really quite a feature of the original show - it did absolutely whip past. But I think that helps me, because if I have to trim, and the resultant pacing is still quick, well, it’s not jarring.

ildiem said:

I’ve kinda been a lurker on this thread for a little while (everything looks really awesome by the way) but I decided to actually sign up today so hello!

All that being said, could I have a link to the tracker please?

Sent!

Oh, Chase, these are amazing buddy! Goddamn, the sheer quality that these’ll add to the presentation is amazing.

I absolutely LOVE the one with sunbeams over waves.

Could the fifth one from Domino Squad be either of these please?
https://lumiere-a.akamaihd.net/v1/images/open-uri20150608-27674-1np23jr_fd474fb4.jpeg
https://lumiere-a.akamaihd.net/v1/images/open-uri20150608-27674-1icd57i_7d077725.jpeg

OK, so I had some extra time today so decided to plan the Nightsisters arc.

This was always going to be a straightforward one, because it’s just totally great and has a nice linear structure.

I thought about splitting the episode between the end of Monster (where Savage has just killed two Jedi and is now thoroughly ‘at large’) and the beginning of Witches (where the Jedi Council recover the two Jedi bodies and put Anakin and Obi-Wan on the case), and maybe putting another couple of episodes in between the two. But ultimately Witches brings the emotional arcs (Ventress’ and Savage’s) to a conclusion, plus I do want the Maul hint ASAP, so I think it is worth whipping through this one as a whole, just with a wipe between those two episodes that maybe represents a couple of days. But no “X DAYS LATER” text, I don’t think. Let’s just power through.

Nightsisters is basically fine as-is. I might trim a line where Dooku’s droid commander clarifies that shooting a ship will result in killing those on board rather than just obeying right away, and I might trim a very little of when Ventress is recovered by the scrapper crew (necessary since she then uses that ship). I’ll use the opening fight between Ventress, Anakin and Obi-Wan as the cold open.

Monster is a little slow in the middle when it’s just the selection process, so I might trim that down to just highlight Savage’s relationship with Feral (worthwhile since he kills him later) and just get through the combats quickly. I might also trim the line where Dooku thinks that he and Savage will overthrow Sidious, I know that’s a whole Sith thing but it’s a bit early to talk about overthrowing I reckon.

Witches of the Mist is also super, I’m going to trim Anakin saying he’s “popular with the ladies”. It’s OK when clones joke about it since they’ve been isolated and are entirely male, so it’s OK if women are something of a fascination for them, but I don’t think Anakin joking about being a hit with the girls quite lands right. I’m also going to cut most of Savage on Toydaria killing King Katunko, and having Obi-Wan and Anakin there. Now, he’ll be sent there by Dooku (and Anakin and Obi-Wan sent there by Talzin) but we’ll cut straight to Dooku throwing Katunko’s body on the floor of Dooku’s ship, and then have Obi-Wan and Anakin arrive afterwards but notice the ship in orbit so head there first. That won’t explain why they have a Toydarian style ship (not that it’s too obviously Toydarian), but they have resources behind them so if we have to I think we can assume they stopped off with a fleet to get something more appropriate. The gain here being that the less we can see Toydarians, the better.

Interestingly, this storyline almost needs no intro crawl, because it covers everything off within the episode itself, so this is actually a cool opportunity to fill that text with context for Nightsisters and some state of the galaxy stuff. Since this episode opens on Sullust, which has shipyards, we’ve now had a first season where the Separatists have struck at Christophsis (unknown purpose), medical stations (heal clones), Kamino (create clones), and Sullust (build ships). This all reads as the Separatists spending the first few battles of the war attempting to cripple the Republic before it can properly mobilise. So I may go through some past crawls and make that clearer. Having failed to do any of these things, we can then establish that the Republic now have a foothold from which they can grow their military forces, whereas the Separatists still have the overwhelming numbers.

In this scenario, I might like to recontextualise Christophsis as something equally strategic. Right now in canon it has no known purpose. Since it’s a crystalline planet I might have it as a munitions producer (you could imagine that the crystals become part of blasters, perhaps), or since a shield is part of the Christophsis episode’s plot, maybe it produces force shields for the republic, which implicitly the Separatists acquire after Ventress’ fleet suprises the gang. Interested in people’s thoughts here.

We’ve now had two (long) episodes in a row without Ahsoka, so I might reorder these six episodes as follows:
Christophsis > Mandalore > Malevolence > Domino Squad > Cloak of Darkness > Nightsisters. That balances Ahsoka versus no Ahsoka, and also balances our best episodes this season against our worst. We can then explain that, in the latter half of this season where shit is really kicking off in key Republic areas, Ahsoka’s off with Luminara for a bit. This unbalances Ventress a bit but I think it’s more important to balance Ahsoka.

Oh, I’m seeing it through to the end, no need to worry about that!

Having this be a two-way dialogue is extremely motivating too. Your ideas, suggestions, tweaks and help are all really valuable and it makes me feel like collectively we can pick out the best version of these episodes and this show. It’s also very motivating to know they’re well received. I don’t take the criticism badly because it’s all very constructive and vital to the success of the project - but hearing the good bits and that my episodes are considered an improvement really charges my batteries.

s01e06 Nightsisters and s01e00 Tartakovsky1 should be quite easy edits, so expect them fairly soon. Nightsisters will just be a merge and polish, and Tartakovsky1 is just a couple of easy trims. I think I won’t mess with the presentation of Tartakovsky1 too much - I think I’ll keep its original CLONE WARS logo, intro, and outro, rather than using the conventions of TCW:Refocused.

After that I’ve got s02e01 Ryloth, which is going to be another complex edit since it’s five episodes I don’t want all of, but after Ryloth almost all of season 2 are very easy edits.

Well, thanks! I didn’t intend to do the project myself when I made my first post, that was only intended to be an idea. And I’m really not one for projects, I generally don’t pick up creative hobbies. But as soon as I realised that there was support behind the idea and that I’d kind of been editing it in my head for about a decade, I realised I might be the right person to pick it up. That’s not to pat myself on the back too much, I don’t think I’m particularly skilled, it’s more to say that I’ve found I’m extremely motivated to do this, so it would be a shame to not allow that motivation to determine my course for a bit.