EddieDean

Yep, it’s doable. I’ll give it a pop at the next convenient moment.

That’s no worries guys, it’s my pleasure to produce this for you all! I’m always eager to get feedback so I can keep refining and improving it!

That’s the original transition! 🤷

PsyGemini said:

EddieDean said:

Ok then- let me know the time in my edit that she’s called by name and I’ll replace it with Stass Allie’s if I can, or cut around it if not.

Why not just change the episode number so the Citadel arc happens before the Pirates one? Or the opposite, having the Pirates episode after the Citadel arc? They’re very close apart already, shouldn’t cause any narrative problem. Otherwise, it’s gonna be very weird having “Allie” mentioned or just seen here and then… never showing up again.

Citadel isn’t part of the recommended cut of TCW:R, so it doesn’t get to impose changes on the higher priority episodes. I wouldn’t worry about Jedi appearing or disappearing, since they already do that a bunch throughout the original show and this one. I’ll see what I can do to remove the contradiction in Citadel, though.

bojangles said:

I love what you’ve done. you just gotta put a little more polish on it.

No editor’s ‘gotta’ do anything buddy, this is a hobby whose outputs we share with the community, not an obligation. But I will take a look at further polish.

Ok then- let me know the time in my edit that she’s called by name and I’ll replace it with Stass Allie’s if I can, or cut around it if not.

Yeah, but not the other one in the other episode!

Ah, yes. I remember looking into this a while back- conveniently, Adi Gallia has a lookalike, Stass Allie. You can headcanon that that’s her instead!

Can you expand on that? Where else does Adi Gallia appear?

(RE)RELEASED - S02E02 - Retribution (V2.1)

• RELEASE VERSION (at last!)
• Our second episode of season two, formerly called ‘Massacre’ in my edit.
• Comprising the original episodes Lair of Grievous and Massacre, with a couple of minutes from Brothers.
• Running 34 minutes.
• DOWNLOAD LINK is in the tracker spreadsheet, PM me for access.
• Note: It’s recommended that you download this before watching, rather than streaming it directly from Google Drive.

Update: This episode now has new dialogue to help smooth the two main plotlines and make the whole more cohesive. It feels much more solid now.

This episode is a continuation of the plotline established in the Nightsisters arc, which leads into the Savage/Maul plotline to follow. It’s placed here to allow us to eagerly anticipate and get to Maul within this season, and to make Ventress’ reaction to the events of the Nightsister arc come fairly soon afterwards.

It merges the plotlines of Lair of Grievous and Massacre, to present an all-new story. Lair of Grievous contained some interesting texture and good villainy for Grievous, but had a lot of filler and its emotional core wasn’t strong enough to stand alone. Massacre was always great fun, but it was really Dooku that had the personal grievance against the Nightsisters, not Grievous. So what I’ve done here is had Ventress leak the location of Grievous’ base to the Jedi, as a vengeful strike against Dooku and his war. Here that event is what now draws the Jedi to Grievous’ Lair (rather than pursuing Nute Gunray as in the original), triggering the events of Lair of Grievous. And now, when Grievous initiates the Nightsister massacre in Massacre, the events there (including Ventress and Grievous’ one-on-one duel) are more personal. This also builds on their dislike of each other as seen in the Domino Squad arc. Having Ventress be more directly responsible for the fall of the Nightsisters also adds a new layer to her guilt, which plays nicely with her original lines about this being all her fault, and helps justify the softening of her character that we see later.

Since Grievous has no visible mouth, and Dooku has his back to the camera quite a lot when he’s in hologram, I was able to do a lot of audio work to keep referencing the Nightsisters throughout the Lair of Grievous content.

I also end this episode with some scenes originally from the beginning of Brothers (where Savage finds Maul), showing Savage getting closer to finding Maul and having Dooku and Grievous ominously show further concern. My intention here is to create some anticipation and continue to make this show feel more serialised than anthology. (I’m not sure quite how well this works, so interested in feedback here)

Noteworthy changes (new changes in bold):

• This episode is titled ‘Massacre’ after the original episode, since I think it’s a good straight-to-the-point threat. However, now that this version includes some additional content which serves to make the plot more of a series of revenge strikes, I may rename it ‘Retribution’ after I’ve done a bit more work to polish this.
• The opening crawl reestablishes the risk facing the Sith with the various unexpected a results of the failed attempt to kill Ventress. It explains that Ventress leaked Grievous’ location, and makes explicit that it was only her that could have leaked it - which I needed to help explain why Grievous and Dooku tie the strike back to the Nightsisters.
• We open on Ventress returning to Dathomir, and being told by Talzin that she should become a Nightsister.
• Cut to Kit Fisto entering Grievous’ lair and them finding all of his weird artefacts, Grievous arriving, their first combat (where Grievous loses his legs), Fisto deciding to flee but being stopped by Grievous locking the doors, and Grievous undergoing his painful repairs.
• Transition from Grievous’ repairs into Ventress going through a similar procedure as she’s healed and purified by Nightsister magics, becoming a true Nightsister herself.
• Return to Grievous’ Lair, where he takes a call from Dooku. NEW: Used AI and alternate lines to make it clear that they know that Ventress/the Nightsisters are behind this, and that they need revenge so Grievous should mobilise his fleet - but that first, Grievous must deal with the Jedi
• Grievous kills Nahdar and Kit Fisto unlocks the doors, and I moved round some scenes so it looks like the right number of clones get killed without needing the fire pit or monster.
• After Kit faces Grievous and flees, Grievous is now free from dealing with the attack on his base. Dooku calls again. NEW: Dooku now congratulates Grievous, tells him that Ventress has returned to Dathomir, and urges him to hurry to attack the Nightsisters.
• NEW: Added back some establishing shots to help bridge the passage of time.
• NEW: Reintroduced scenes of Kit Fisto reporting to the Jedi - but used AI lines for Yoda to tie Kit’s experiences in to the overarching plot of retribution begetting more retribution.
• Back to the Nightsisters celebrating and getting immediately attacked by Greivous, and then the rest of Massacre plays out, with the only changes being making Talzin the one who raises the undead army instead of Old Dahka.
• Brief cutaway after the plot concludes, to Savage hunting for Maul. NEW: Instead of cutting away to Talzin (who should be incorporeal), used her dialogue over shots of Savage being guided by the pendant, to keep her aethereal, and give them more of an active conversation.
• End on the original Massacre episode’s ending, with Dooku sensing a darkness rising.

Minor update: I’ve reviewed my ‘Attachments’ episode and decided it’s fine as is. That one I wasn’t very confident about, but after a year and a half with no feedback, I think we can safely call it complete, not a workprint. But that means that with the next episode (see next post), that’s all the in-progress episodes of the main cut finished.

(That said, I have been considering using a mix of Lightsaber Lost and Grievous Intrigue in place of Attachments, because it really is quite weak, and those two are probably the strongest alternative. We’d lose a bit of showing Ahsoka caring for Anakin, which probably isn’t too vital, but gain in some better character development and a good near-success for Grievous.)

It’s been replaced by DREAMS OF DESTINY, which makes better use of that content. The remaining stuff will end up in a replacement TOTCW episode, albeit a much less important one.

It’s the whole thing (and more!)

All of this information is in the first post here - I’d recommend you give it a read.

The Vos stuff was great, it was just that it was too connected to the Ziro plot, which was horrible, that there wouldn’t be a plot left if it were cut around. I considered a lot of options for other places to use that content, but ultimately couldn’t find anything.

That one’s in my “not ever gonna touch” pile, sorry!

…But, y’know, if I ever find myself with absolutely nothing to do…

That said, see my earlier post about how to stick TCW intros and outros onto a given episode, if you must!

Pretty much intact, but it’s relatively high up the to-do list.

Yeah, I don’t think it’s a great idea either. I was very sleep deprived this morning!

Here’s a question for y’all:

Where I have one weaker and one stronger episode, each with different main characters and no overlap, should I consider merging the two? The advantages would be that the stronger would enhance the weaker, and that a single episode might be more bitesize; but the disadvantages would be a possible disconnect of plot, and that people then couldn’t avoid the weaker episode.

I’m thinking specifically about merging Seven Warriors (trio vs Hondo on Felucia) with Retribution (Lair of Grievous/Massacre), and Monsters (Obi-Wan and the return of Maul) with Attachments (Anakin and Ahsoka’s Jedi Crash).

Shenanigans said:

I started watching this edit and I’m loving it. But now I’m about to get to s01e08 Children of Night and I’m not sure about this placement. I mean, the designs for Anakin and Obi-Wan are already updated in this episode. They’re supposed to happen waaay later, because they’re closer to their Revenge of the Sith designs. Are there other cases like this in this edit?

Also, some episodes are too long and would benefit from being two-parters. I think anything longer than 40 minutes should be two episodes of 20+ minutes each.

Anyway, these are the only two points I’ve had a problem with. The rest is pretty great. This comment may seem like it’s too critical but I can’t stress this enough: This edit is amazing.

I like to think they just changed clothes. A core tenet of this edit has been making the whole show feel more serialised (especially the Maul/Mandalore stuff), which I think is a decent tradeoff against the costume change. Otherwise, we’d not get any Maul until 40% into the show - something I think would impact its coherence and focus.

As for length, I’ve deliberately gone for breaking stories around their plot. If content works best very long, I’ve left it that way; and if it works best split, I’ve split it. Each episode should be a single, focused, chunk of content.

I’m currently away from my machine, Peon, but I’ll get them over to you ASAP.

Agreed. 567 and then a little feedback pass of the whole. Though I’d love to see what you can do with Bad Batch.

Just looking over the remaining content if you go with that plan, the existing Boba content plus Grogu with Luke runs to about two hours. I think that makes a movie on its own. For the second one, I’d cover Pershing into the last few episodes of season three.

I didn’t quite have the vision beforehand, but I do now. It sounds great.

SpenceEdit said:

EddieDean said:

Spence, if you’d like, I’ll do a scene-for-scene comparison of yours against Hal’s v8s, to highlight anything that worked for his that you might want to consider?

If you’d like to do that, I’ll shoot you a link.

For those that got the workprint link, if you haven’t downloaded it yet, I’m uploading a newer version. Should be up later, I’ll send a new link out.

I’m down!

Spence, if you’d like, I’ll do a scene-for-scene comparison of yours against Hal’s v8s, to highlight anything that worked for his that you might want to consider?