Now onto Book 3 (I’m doing a hasty review through with fresh eyes): I know you want to keep Gideon’s presence high throughout the series, but I’d change his appearances in this one. You have him in two main sequences in this movie - the first being the Shadow Council scene (where we learn that the Imperial Remnants are coordinated, get some good context for wider plots including Thrawn, and have Gideon declare he wants to stamp out the Mandalorians), and the second being the tracker scene and Gideon talking about catching Mando and Grogu to continue their cloning.

I think both of these need a little shift, and will try to justify why. But firstly, let me address the fact that I don’t think we need Gideon to have a strong presence in this movie. Yes it’s nice to see him, and to keep him feeling like an overhanging threat. But, so long as each movie at least escalates that threat, I think that need is satisfied. Compare now to your current Book 5, where we don’t see Grogu in the movie until the very end, which leaves us on an interesting development. I think doing the same here would be fine - you still come away from this movie on a punchy note where the Gideon plot has escalated.

So, regarding the tracker plot, I know it’s used here currently to illustrate Gideon’s will and skill to hunt Grogu down. However, the plot about capturing Grogu and his clone relevance really doesn’t continue until your Book 4. I know you’re using it to make the Imperial presence on the Mon Calamari planet more of a trap, but to be honest I don’t think that quite sells, with the dialogue we have. I also don’t think it’s necessary - from Din’s perspective his whole storyline in this movie has been to find Mandalorians, something he finally does at the end. Personal stakes for Gideon don’t add much here (especially as the Imperial resistance is quite weak), so having them as a thorn in his side which helps ingratiate him to Bo Katan’s faction is plenty.

Secondly, regarding the Shadow Council plot, I think that would work better AFTER that Mandalorian-Imperial conflict, as the triggering act behind making Gideon then declare that the Mandalorians must be stamped out. That then leaves our episode on the nice punchy finale (Thrawn reveal, escalation and all), which leaves the threat now overhanging the future movies. It’s the Mandalorians directly striking at Imperials which makes it into a vendetta for Gideon. I would also, as some have suggested, trim the lines about requisitions, as they’ll take now three movies to pay off. (Boba and team have also destroyed the Imperial base on Nevarro, including Gideon’s clones, this movie, so he’s taken a double hit onscreen, further justifying his rage at the end.)

This way, you’d have a straightforward Din-Grogu adventure as they seek Mandalorians, with issues and false leads along the way (and nearly bumping into Boba again), with their actions ending up triggering an escalation of the conflict between Mandalorians and Imperials.

Then, in your Book 4, you could introduce “I’ve placed a tracker” and that subplot just after Mando leaves the planet with that ex-Imperial warlord. We know she’s got ties to Thrawn, and thus the Shadow Council, so it’s absolutely feasible that an Imperial spy could be operating there to report back to Gideon. The dialogue there would reinforce that Gideon wants Grogu - and then he’d strike immediately, on the very next planet, where Din finally meets Boba and the Imperials show up to kidnap Grogu. Again, I think that’s neater, and keeps each movie more focused. You could cut the two elements of the tracker scene around the one of Din on the Crest trying to get Grogu to grab the ball with the force.

A final note on moving the tracker scenes to the following movie - this new suggested ordering would now make more sense of the lines about Pershing’s cloning work being lost, since in this ordering, this discussion would follow the events of Din and co destroying the final Nevarro facility (including clones) the movie prior.

I’ve also just spotted that you have a repeated shot in your first movie: Both times Din approaches the small space station where he gets the prison break job, his display shows the same readout then the camera pans up to the approaching station. I’d cut that the second time - you have enough of a different shot of him approaching it again without needing that first one.

At the very end, I’d also just cut right from the Crest’s feet touching down to the shot of Grogu and Din leaving the ship as the music swells - no need to take a pacing pause to have Din tell Grogu not to follow him (this time).

Another thought for Book 2. We’ve talked a lot about the overlap point between Din and Boba, around Fennec’s unconscious body. I think the ordering you have right now from Din’s perspective is absolutely right, but I’d tweak Boba’s just slightly. I’d cut from the scene of Din and Grogu flying away (the shot of the Crest from behind going off into space) to the scene of Boba discovering Fennec - but only to the point where he turns her over and sees who she is. (This works nicely with the shot of the ship leaving, since abnormally for this show, the camera doesn’t follow the ship away - it’s almost as if the direction here says “there’s more to see on Tattooine first even though Din is leaving”). Then, once Boba turns over Fennec, cut to the scene of levity in the Crest cockpit into the flight toward the wetlands planet (music works for this), and the scene of Din and Grogu seeing Cara’s fight. Then back to Tattooine for Boba and Fennec now sitting at a warm fire, and you’re back to where you were. This version of events just slightly improves the timing of scenes relative to each other, and makes a bit more logical sense to me.

Hey Acbagel, it’s been a while, hope you’re well!

A little while back you shared the final cutlist for Book 5 and said the VFX was nearly complete - are we close to release? (I’d be happy to view a draft if you don’t have time right now for your own final pass!)

One note on your Book 5 cutlist stood out to me - “Added a few new wipe transitions throughout the mines to cover up old Grogu scenes” - do bear in mind that wipes can absolutely be overdone, and you might not need any at all. It’s normal in movies (including Star Wars ones) to convey a longer period of travel as a series of regular cuts (not wipes), which might be plenty here to carry us through.

Finally, since you’ve mentioned a v4 pass on Books 1-4 incorporating feedback, just one more note on Book 1: Regarding the fish guy’s bounty capture and subsequent scenes, I know you tried two approaches. The first approach was “I can bring you in cold or hot” hard cutting to him being slammed into carbonite. I remember suggesting privately that you extend that out a bit more, to get the better introduction to the Razor Crest. You then extended it out for approach two, including the scene of the snooty dude whistling for a cab to take them to where the Razor Crest was parked (a scene originally used presumably to give Mando some early combat, since in the original he fights a beast out on the ice). Your second approach also includes the good scene of fish dude saying “The Razor Crest is a nice ship” and asking about why Mandos don’t take off their helmets - which then hard cuts to carbonite. You want to keep that scene on the ship as it adds a bit of context for introductions and the movie’s themes, plus gives fish dude a bit more character which will pay off later. However (though I know I suggested it), the scenes of Mando picking up his ship frankly drag. But you can have it both ways! I’ve made an alternate cut of this that works very smoothly, cutting right from “I can bring you in cold or hot” to Mando’s ship taking off above the cantina (no scenes of it parked on the ice) and then into fish dude talking, before he gets frozen. It’s much cleaner, gives you the best of both worlds, keeps the pacing up, and is a very easy cut to make as the music smooths out nicely. I’d recommend you try that!

Miles00x said:

No problem, I’m glad you approve and that I could save you the time experimenting with it!

Always! I absolutely welcome help like this, it makes the show better for everyone!

Excellent work, I love this! Thanks so much. I’ll roll that into the next batch of changes - and credit you of course.

I’ve just checked and you’re totally right. Huh! I’ve had that wrong in my head for years.

Not a typo if you’re British! 😘

Glad you’re enjoying it though!

Darth Muffy said:

Looking over EddieDeans The Clone Wars: Refocused spreadsheet creation for the first time!..

Just watched Prologue: Life and Death & a few of the first episodes and coming from someone that simply just couldn’t get into The Clone Wars, This way of watching them just simply works. I’ll give my full review at IFDB once I’ve finished it all. Thank you EddieDean for this 👍

Thanks dear ❤️

I’m a data analyst, I do love putting together a good information-rich spreadsheet that’s minimally overwhelming. Using colour VERY carefully is the key!

Cheers for the feedback Sean Sterio.

To your points:

• I agree, this episode is fairly rushed and doesn’t quite hang together well enough to be something you’d imagine seeing on TV. The pacing is quick, especially the wrap-up (with Bail Organa’s radio call at the end). It’s the episode that’s taken the most work and the most iteration, but since the original episode’s content was so very poor, I’ve really had to settle here for getting us through it as quickly as possible. I think doing that, plus warning viewers that it’s not great, so they can just get through it and on to better content, is the lesser of the available evils. That said, I’m always open to tangible improvements if anyone has further ideas they’d like to demonstrate.
• Regarding Ahsoka, I’m fairly confident that I’ve included the vast majority of her interactions with Anakin and her ‘snippiness’. I’ve trimmed a small number of her most outstanding annoyances here, but nothing material, and left most of it in, because, as you say, we need to see her develop and mature from this baseline. The remaining early season one episodes preserve more of the snips/sky-guy behaviour. Maintaining her growth was key - I just sought to minimise those elements which first put people off her right from the beginning.
• As for Ventress, this is kind of how the original played out. If you watch the originals in chronological order, Ventress is there to distract the Jedi in order to enable the invasion fleet to land, then she just disappears from the story - in the original, it’s to go steal Jabba’s son, whereas in my version, it’s feasibly to go prepare to rescue Nute Gunray (though I have considered putting the scene where she’s given that mission into this one). But in a lot of ways this is an issue with the original content. It was important to me to include Ventress in this episode because she is a strong presence in my first season.
• Regarding the droids, I haven’t trimmed them much. Many have requested that I cut out their voices altogether, but I think that’s impossible as some of their dialogue in various episodes carries important plot information. And I don’t find them as bad as some do. So I’ve trimmed their highest goofiness, whilst preserving a good amount of it.

Either way, thank you for your feedback - I hope you continue with the show, because this episode is easily the weakest and the rest get much stronger quickly. I’d be very interested to see others’ interpretations of that first episode, but I think I’ve taken it as far as I can myself.

Keep it coming!

Oh I love this! I will mention it.

Very exciting!

Yep, all noted! I’ll prioritise those changes too, so preferences are welcome!

Right, I’m gathering notes from all prior sources of feedback, and smoothing out my pipeline for making small polishes more easily and with minimal mental effort, so I can just pick up quick changes over the next few weeks.

For now:

• I’ve re-uploaded the Rebels Recap movie with fixed audio sync in the first ten minutes
• I’ve pulled the Ahsoka’s Decision fan remade scene out of the Scipio episode, but made both available in the spreadsheet (this one’s still uploading)
• I’ve fixed a typo in the A Friend in Need episode (still rendering)

I just found that someone had PM’d me this a while back. I’ll keep them anonymous, since it was a direct message, but it’s an interesting idea:

"Thanks a bunch! With a little work this should prove to be a more optimal viewing experience And once Season 3 rolls in I should be able to go foward without having to jump around again.

On a somewhat unrelated note I noticed you were also active in in Phantom Menace improvement thread. And it was either you or someone else who had suggested that Qui-Gon guide Anakin via the force.

But there was an aspect of that change that stuck out to me, particularly the idea of him while meditating as opposed to when he’s dying to do it. If you could take a moment to read through this I think this change specific change could add a lot more weight the story.

On the outside it may seem like such a minor change. However, something like this can explain what happens right after. What if this force telepathy of sorts drains him of his stamina significantly? And it’s this act that causes mold in the upper hand and finish him off. Now it may seem foolish for quae gone to potentially risk his life to help Anakin. But remember Jinn truly believes Anakin is the chosen one, the hope of the galaxy. It would be completely in his character to lay his life down not only because he’s compassionate for Anakin, but so the galaxy may prosper. And as we see early in the movie, he’s no stranger to making huge gambits. Something like this that only parallels ANH with Obi’s sacrifice but also Luke in TLJ with the force weakening him. As George Lucas would say it would be “poetry”.

But we can also take it even further with the implications and set ups this has for the future. Obi-Wan’s harsh treatment of Aniken in AOTC could be stem from repressed resentment that he has towards Anakin for being an indirect catalyst in his Master’s death. But he would never want to admit it, considering he truly does love Anakin as a brother. You could even say that Obi seeing Qui-Gon’s defiance within Anakin is the first trait that causes him to feel a familiarity with boy and leads to their initial bond. As such, another reason he’s so strict with him is because he doesn’t want Ani doing anything reckless that would cause him to sacrifice himself, the way his master once did.

Seems minor on the surface initially, but it brings huge narrative pay off in terms of the overall story. Would probably help if some highlighted how much this is sacrifice for Qui-Gon with facial close-ups of him straining himself. Maybe with some sweat, and the reddening of his face. Not sure how possible this is in terms the visual edits. Another option would be to have Qui Gon’s voice fade in and out while also sounding rushed with Anakin picking up on it. Some edited voice clips from when the two of them are running away from Maul back on Tatooine could facilitate this idea. Something along the lines of “Qui-Gon slow down” Or “Qui-Gon you sound tired”.

If Anakin was made aware of Qui-Gon’s sacrifice, it’s only natural that you’d want to aspire to be more like him by being a risk taker in the future.

In any case, these are the kind of things that insomnia can do to a guy. I’m no editor myself, so this is an exactly something I’d be able to do. I just really wanted to get this idea out there for feedback and consideration."

Requests for polish?

Hey all, I’ve got a good slab of time coming up, and plan to make a few changes to at least a handful of episodes. Just small tweaks mostly, though some will be a little larger. I’ll be combing through all historical feedback from all sources, but if anyone’s got anything they’d like to highlight or prioritise (even things I’m already aware of) now’s a great time to share it.

Some examples:

• Rebels recap: Fix early audio desync
• Hand of Greed / Scipio: Remove fireside scene (and include it on the spreadsheet as a separate thing)
• Umbara: Fix a couple of wipes
• Hunted arc: Possibly tighten edit throughout for improved pacing
• Heroes on Both Sides arc: Reintroduce Grievous sending the bomber droids
• Tales of the Lost Clones: Make titles consistent with preludes, codas, etc
• Lair of Grievous / Massacre: Fix one dodgy line, add radio sound to some dialogue
• Ryloth: Remove a few wipes, move ‘bomb them’ dialogue to more appropriate location
• Order 66: Remove scene of the Jedi and Palpatine discussing bringing Tup to the medical centre, possibly reintroduce explicit drugging
• Domino Squad: Revisit act one, smooth transition to act two
• Duchess of Mandalore: Move elevator hyperspace shot to give Satine’s captor more time to escape
• Ahsoka’s Fall: Add reference to secret hyperspace route (light payoff to Citadel arc)
• Various: Check ending music transitions and polish where possible
• Various: Produce extended versions of episodes
• Review: Watch Delpheas’ alternate Mortis, and if it’s consistent with TCW and high quality, include on spreadsheet as alternate cut

That’s fair! As you say, Ryloth is connective but not relevant to the core plot for the Batch. There might be elements from season two which come up later in season three, but it seems like a solid plan.

That’s fair! Are you sold on the one movie per season approach? It feels like there’s a natural breakpoint at S01E09, and again at S02E08, if you needed to conclude movies there. That might give you four movies of around ~1h40-2h and capture some of the content that’s relevant to other media (such as Cham Syndulla on Ryloth for TCW and Rebels). I put some analysis on this idea in Acbagel’s Bad Batch thread if you’re interested. You do you though - the show will certainly do well from tightening either way!

Sounds like good fun! Looks like you’re not including any content from 11/12 (the Ryloth two-parter) - are you skipping the character of Howzer then? And cutting having Rampart assign Crosshair to hunt the Batch down (as seen in the finale)?

No worries buddy, you do you! Life comes first. You’ve had some excellent ideas that have inspired many- I know Acbagel is doing a lot with some of your ideas for his Filoniverse project, and I’m sure there are more. Hope you come back soon, your passion has been excellent, so it’d be great to see you produce a (perhaps more manageable) edit!

I’d also love a link please!

Oh, I like this a lot. I’m not too big on making TCW match to more supplementary media, but I like all of these points. I’ll add it to the growing pile of small polishes.

This is exciting stuff. Hal, do you have a list of the V3 changes on hand?

If I ever find myself with a significant amount of free time I’d think about it, but it’s faaar down the path tbh. This Ahsoka episode worked because, as a focused recap, I was able to bypass a lot of plot. But that plot is still necessary to Rebels as a wider story, which makes it incompatible. I do think that Rebels works best as a TV show- or at least that moviefying it would be a significantly challenging task.

“Your spirit’s barely clinging to that clone body, what could you give me?”

/ “cloned husk”?

What about going absolutely explicit: “You’re a spirit barely clinging to a weak clone body.”