DuracellEnergizer

I don't, which is why I desperately want an update to the software which allows me to see my gottdanged post history.

Tobar said:

But honestly, why is anyone defending a film series that claims a single star going super nova is a threat to the entire galaxy? If that's not a request to turn off your brain I don't know what is.

Turn off the brain? Sounds more like a request to remove the thing and flush it down the toilet. 

^Thus the feud begins anew.

Anthony Hopkins and Anthony Perkins

which survived in another universe

and were transported directly into

Hey, I didn't make the meme, I just posted it. ;-)

MathUser said:

It's prettty stupid, he saved him so he's at the point before he became evil right? That's why he gots normal color for his skin and normal body parts? But for some reason he's aged. Did Luke somehow create an alternate timeline or something?

The Beast in Poltergeist certainly wasn't a giant skull/hairy whatsits when it was alive. Did Carol Anne create an alternate timeline or something?

Johnny Bartlett in The Frighteners wasn't the Grim Reaper when he was alive. Did Michael J. Fox's character create an alternate timeline or something?

John Belushi wasn't an ugly little spud when he was alive. Did the Ghostbusters create an alternate timeline or something?

...

What I'm trying to say -- and I shouldn't have to say this, as it should be common knowledge to anyone who has any familiarity with ghosts -- especially ghosts in film -- is that they often have the ability to assume shapes and forms they didn't have when they were alive.

The reason why ROTJ Anakin in the OOT isn't bald, pale, and scarred is because he didn't want to appear that way.

But Betelgeuse wasn't cooperating, therefore

to the Moons of Iego.

The foo' then multipled into

Seeing as its obvious I wasn't being serious, I don't see the problem.

^Not sure if serious ...

RicOlie_2 said:

Duracell does more than enough loathing to keep the rest of us covered, so let's not all start doing it too..... ;)

and is destroyed by technobabble

I haven't been to a dentist since I was in Grade 1 -- ie. the early '90s.

fgqb#19nyj said:

I kind of liked that Mace had a purple saber — at least he had "some" character to him. They made green and blue too common and boring. I remember first seeing Luke with his green lightsaber in ROTJ, but now it seems less special as it once was. They should have had other Jedi carry different colored lightsabers just to change things up — maybe yellow, orange, or even pink for some of the babes. :p Well, anyway, I always imagined Yoda with a yellow one. I think it's odd that he himself being green would use green. :(

My thoughts exactly. Were I interested in and capable of doing a fan edit of the PT myself, I'd end up giving at least half of the lightsaber-wielding characters their own different colours and hues.  

Ancient Egyptian, ancient Hebrew, and other ancient Afro-Asiatic languages were written without the use of vowels. Frankly, I don't know how anyone learned to read in those cultures.

Mike O said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

As it's a single trilogy, no. ;-P

 

There are THREE Star Wars movies!

I find your lack of faith in the saga disturbing ...

the no taxation without respresentation

Alderaan said:

imperialscum said:

Alderaan said:

*Vader doesn't calmly say "alert my star destroyer blah blah blah" when he's seething with rage.

That is one of the best changes in SE. The original scene with dumb anger mood completely contradicted the character of Vader as presented throughout the film. He was an intelligent villain, not some angry moron. Nothing seems to be able to upset him and that is what makes him even more cool.

He was being failed most clumsily by his officers and yet he showed no anger when he was executing them. On contrary, he did it with sarcasm, wit and style... making clam remarks like "Apology accepted, Captain Needa" while choking the guy to the death.

And the original scene also contradicted the scenes that follows. On the Star Destroyer, Vader is very clam and his primary emotion seem to be disappointment. There is no sign of any anger. He doesn't even choke Piett and instead he simply just leaves the bridge in silence.

Just ... no. Mother damn it no. Holy **** NO!

Couldn't have said it better myself. 

Five years passed, and then

As I've mentioned before elsewhere, I'm planning on introducing the Sith with this episode of my re-write.

There are many different factions of Sith in my personal canon, though, and so to hopefully save myself from using too much exposition in the screenplay later on, I'm going to give everyone a list of the major Sith sects which existed before and up to the time period of this storyline. Hopefully it'll help paint a clear picture of the different sects and eventually help the reader figure out which Sith I'm using in this storyline.

***

HOUSE OF ADAS

Prior to 28000 BBY, the world of Sith was made up of a great many independant nation-states with their own seperate governments and leaders. This changed when Adas -- a powerful sorcerer-king -- came to power within his homeland. Using his charisma and Force powers, he persuaded his people into following him into a crusade of conquest against the other nations of Sith. The crusade lasted three-hundred years, and by the time it ended, a billion Sith had died and nearly the entire surface of the planet had been reduced to ruin. Adas succeeded to realizing his dream, though, and he became king over a single, united Sith race.

For reasons that have been lost to history, Adas produced no known children and appointed no successor to ascend the throne in the event he died. When he finally did pass on in 27700 BBY, the House of Adas died along with him.

KISSAI

When King Adas died, it didn't take long for the monarchy he had established to whither and collapse, leaving the Sith race without a goverment to govern them. This led to a dark age of anarchy and chaos, leaving the way clear for the Kissai to step in and assume control.

The Kissai were an order of priests, each in service to a pantheon of deities known only as the Immortal Gods. According to the Kissai, the Immortal Gods were sentient manifestations of the Force, and as the Force was an all-hungry, all-consuming darkness wherein all life died, the Gods were themselves all-hungry and all-consuming gods of darkness. When one died, their soul went to the Force, whereupon it was overtaken and sundered apart, leaving nothing but oblivion as a final reward. The only way to escape this ultimate fate, they claimed, was to be deified by the Immortal Gods, and to be deified required a lifetime of service and sacrifice to the Gods -- blood sacrifice.

Swayed by the fearsome message of the Kissai, the populace of Sith entrusted themselves to the priests, allowing themselves to be placed under the yoke of the most brutal theocracy in the entire known history of the Known Regions. From 27500 BBY to 24393 BBY the Sith civilization rebuilt itself, advancing to the point where they were finally capable of building hyperdrive technology which facilitated their expansion to other worlds. However, this all came at the cost of billions of innocent Sith lives, all of whom had been sacrificed on stone altars to ensue the apotheosis of the Kissai.

While the Kissai engorged themselves on the blood of their oblivious followers, light-years away in Republic space the Hundred-Year Darkness -- a century-long religious war between the Jedi Order and the Legions of Lettow -- came to an end. Having lost to the Jedi, the Lettow Legionnaires were rounded up, escorted to a waiting fleet of ships, herded aboard, and then launched on a one-way trip into deep, uncharted space.

Exactly how long the exiled Lettow travelled through the unknown is, itself, unknown, but in time they finally stumbled upon Korriban -- a minor colony world located on the outskirts of the Sith Empire. Landing their ships on the surface, the exiles found Korriban a wretched hive of scum and villainy; while the citizens lived in filth and squalor without adequate housing, food, or medicine, their leader -- a fat Kissai priest -- lived in great opulence within his citadel. Finding the situation on Korriban intolerable, the exiles deposed the priest and assumed control over Korriban, declaring it a world free of the Sith Empire's tyranny.

Over a course of a few short years, the Legionnaires established a new and better quality of life on Korriban, and news of this eventually spread to the other worlds of the Sith Empire, reaching the ears of those in the populace who had grown weary of the Kissai and their dark religion. Deciding that the Lettow placed too great a risk to their rule, the Kissai dispatched an armada of warships to Korriban. The Legionnaires, with their lack of weapons and adequate ships, were incapable of establishing any resistance against the Sith armada; Korriban was bombarded from orbit with thermonuclear weapons, devastating the surface of the planet and killing each and every living thing upon it.

The Kissai had been unwise with their course of action, though. Had they left Korriban alone, it would have taken at least a decade before the rabble had gained enough confidence to rise up against them. With this genocide, however, the Kissai only served to hasten the dissention along. In years a movement known as the Sith Dissidents came together, took control of the important planet Ziost, and initiated the Sith Civil War.

The Sith Civil War came to a final end in 24379 BBY. Using their Force-empowered technology, the Sith Dissidents caused the sun of the Sith system to go nova, destroying Sith and the majority of the Kissai in the process.

LORDS OF THE SITH

With the Sith Civil War over and their homeworld gone, the leaders of the Sith Dissidents made Ziost the new capital of the Sith Empire. They then formed a new system of government to replace the one established by the Kissai; the Sith Empire would be now be ruled by a council of Sith lords and ladies which, in turn, would be led by a single appointed Lord or Lady of the Sith.

Now the leaders of the Sith race, the Sith lords decided to make themselves the leaders of Sith religion as well. Taking the theology of the Kissai, they pacified it. No longer were the Immortal Gods evil manifestations of an all-hungry, all-consuming dark Force who demanded sacrifice; they were now beings of light as well as darkness, manifestations of a Force that existed in layers of order and chaos. A new Kissai priesthood was created to maintain this revamped religion -- a Kissai which answered to the Sith lords and the Sith lords alone.

Under the Sith lords, the Sith Empire entered a golden age, growing and prospering beyond anything that had been experienced by the Sith before. They maintained this golden age for several millennia. Eventually, though, the golden age of the Sith Empire came to an end. Slowly they stopped expanding their borders and began to stagnate.

In 5000 BBY, hyperspace explorers Gav and Jori Daragon accidentally travelled from Republic space to Korriban, which was now the tombworld for the Sith lords. By coincidence, they landed on the world while the Sith lords were conducting a funeral for the recently deceased Lord of the Sith Marka Ragnos. Assuming the human siblings were spies, the Sith captured them and had them taken to Ziost for interrogation.

Naga Sadow, one of the Sith lords, saw the arrival of the explorers as an opportunity to become the next Lord of the Sith and initiate a new golden age for the Sith Empire by expanding it into Republic space. Through a series of covert killings and attacks, Sadow freed Gav and Jori while making it look like Republican agents had done so. Attaching a hidden tracking device to the Daragons' ship, Sadow had Jori return to Republic space, leaving behind a trail which would allow the Sith to follow after her.

Sadow eventually was crowned Lord of the Sith, and with his new found influence he initiated the Great Hyperspace War between the Galactic Republic and the Sith Empire. This proved to be the undoing of the Sith Empire. While Sith technology was far more advanced than Republican technology, the Sith Empire was far smaller than the Republic; superior shields and weapons ultimately proved no match against superior numbers, and after years of long, bloody conflict, the Sith fleet disintegrated and the economy of the Sith Empire collaped.

Following the end of the Great Hyperspace War, a fanatical group of Jedi known as the Jedi Shadows came into existence. Obsessed with obliterating all remaining vestiges of the Sith religion, they led a crusade into the fallen Sith Empire, whereupon they massacred any Sith they came across, be they Force-sensitive Sith or not. This dark chapter in the history of both the Jedi and the Sith became known as the Great Sith Purge, and it resulted in the virtual extinction of the Sith species.

A small number of Sith managed to escape the Purge, though, to distant worlds beyond both the Sith Empire and the Galactic Republic. There they lived out the rest of their days, preserving what arcane knowledge they had in secret vaults for future generations.

NADDISTS

In 4470 BBY, more than half a thousand years following the fall of the Sith Empire, an up-and-coming Jedi apprentice named Freedon Nadd was passed over when it came time for him to graduate and become a full Jedi knight. Devastated, he enquired Mistress Matta Tremayne as to why he had been passed over for knighthood. When she refused to give him clear answers to his questions, he boiled over into a fit of rage and engaged her in a lightsaber duel, slaying her in the process.

Though initially ashamed and remorseful for the action, in little time he began to blame the Jedi for her own death; by refusing to tell him why he had failed, she had goaded him into attack. From there, Nadd's rage against Tremayne expanded to the Jedi as a whole; if all his years of dedication and service to the Order meant nothing to the other Jedi -- if all his years spent training and studying would lead only to disgrace and humiliation -- then he would serve the Order no longer; he would find some one else -- another organization of Force adepts -- who would recognize his power and embrace him.

Remembering his history lessons on the Sith and the Great Hyperspace War, Nadd decided to travel to the worlds of the former Sith Empire in the hope that he could find Sith who were still alive and willing to teach him their secrets.

After months of searching, Nadd finally discovered a small cloister of Sith hidden on a small planet with more ruins than life standing on it. The cloister was made up entirely of Force-sensitive Sith and was led by a self-proclaimed Lord of the Sith. Though wary of Nadd due to his being both an outsider and a former Jedi, they agreed to accept him into their ranks and instruct him in their ways.

The years passed and Nadd learned much from the Sith -- enough, in fact, to leave him with an overinflated opinion of his own prowess. Believing he was now strong enough to kill the current Lord of the Sith and take his place, he attempted to murder his master. When the murder attempt failed, Nadd was exposed and he became a target for elimination. Before his compatriots could kill him, Nadd fled the cloister; climbing aboard his ship, he left the small world behind to find his own means to rule.

Eventually Nadd found his way to Onderon, a backwater planet inhabited by primitive humans. Landing on Onderon, it wasn't long before he had conquered the whole of the planet, using his Force powers and his technological know-how to crown himself the King of Onderon.

Nadd's reign on Onderon lasted a long time and the dynasty he created even longer. He passed his Sith teachings on to his children, and they in turn passed them on to their children, ensuring that Onderon and the line of Nadd would be held by the dark side for centuries to come. It was only in 3998 BBY, when Queen Amanoa and King Ommin -- the last of Nadd's heirs to embrace the darkside -- died, that the Naddist cult was finally extinguished.

BROTHERHOOD OF THE SITH

In 4000 BBY, a Jedi apprentice named Exar Kun found himself enamoured with Sith history and desired to learn more about them and their ways. When his master Vodo Siosk-Baas refused to allow the apprentice to study his holocron on the Sith, Kun left, deciding to find a means to learn more about the Sith on his own.

Kun's journey eventually took him to Onderon's moon, Dxun, were Freedon Nadd's bodily remains had been reinterred in a new tomb. Visiting Nadd's tomb, Kun found himself visited by the spirit of the dead Sith king himself. From there, Kun was manipulated by the ghost into travelling to Korriban, where a series of unfortunate events culiminated in his final descent to the dark side.

As time passed, Kun grew frustrated with Nadd and his constant manipulations. Upon journeying to Yavin IV and discovering the relics Naga Sadow had left on the moon millennia before, the former Jedi used a Sith amulet to annihilate Nadd's spirit, sending the ghost to the oblivion beyond death. From there, Kun declared the birth of a new Sith religion, one that would take the best teachings of the old Sith and the best teachings of the Jedi and combine them into something that was new and better. This new syncretic religion would be called the Brotherhood of the Sith, and he -- a Force adept who, according to him, could wield the power of the dark side without falling to it -- would be the Dark Lord of the Sith.

Following his ascension, Kun travelled to a number of worlds, gaining followers from among the Force-sensitives he encountered there. As time passed, he gained more-and-more-followers and the ranks of the Sith Brotherhood swelled.

As this was all happening, a war was burgeoning between the Republic and a Sith-inspired dark side cult known as the Krath. The Krath, ruled by Aleema Keto and her fallen Jedi consort Ulic Qel-Droma, were expanding out beyond the Empress Teta system to neighbouring systems on a crusade of conquest.

Eventually, in 3995 BBY, the Krath and the Sith Brotherhood came into contact and, from there, conflict with one another. As Ulic engaged Kun in a lightsaber duel, they were stopped by the spirit of Jior-Dan Tahk, one of the last Lords of the Sith. Under his command, they put their battle to an end and joined forces, becoming one unified force against the Republic. Thus began the Great Sith War.

The Great Sith War lasted ten years and almost culminated in the defeat of the Jedi and the Republic. There was a turnaround, though, after Ulic slayed his brother Cay in a duel. Overcome with grief and remorse for his actions, he surrendered to the Jedi and decided to give important strategic secrets up to them.

In 3986 BBY -- months following Ulic's surrender -- key worlds, hyperlanes, and other resources important to the Sith war machine were taken by the Republic. The Sith homebase on Yavin IV itself was finally obliterated in a great Force battle between the Jedi fleet and Kun's Sith.

With Kun and his Sith lords gone -- and following Ulic's execution for war crimes -- it seemed that the last remnants of the Sith Brotherhood had been swept away.

KUNISTS

In the final years of the Great Sith War, Exar Kun had a number of loyal followers secretly infiltrate the Jedi Order so that in the event that the Sith lost in the war against the Republic, they could plan for the future restoration of their empire while hiding in plain sight amongst the Jedi.

With the defeat of Kun and his remaining forces on Yavin IV in 3986 BBY, the Kunist sleeper agents began to plan for the future. As the years and decades passed, these agents had children and started entire families; reared in the Sith traditions of Kun's empire, these descendants continued their forebears' work, covertly manipulating various affairs throughout the Republic to hasten their goals.

Finally, in 3681 BBY, the Kunists revealed themselves on Coruscant and staged a massive coup which placed the Republic Senate and Jedi Temple securely under their control. Literally overnight, the Galactic Republic fell under Kunist management.

With the Kunist Insurrection began the Great Galactic War. Unlike the Great Sith War, the Mandalorian Wars, and the Jedi Civil War which preceeded it, the Great Galactic War lasted only a year and a half. For all its brevity, the Great Galactic War was still the worst of the wars to shake the Republic during that time, and it nearly led to the annihilation of the entire Republic and everyone in it.

Needless to say, the Kunists didn't survive the Great Galactic War.

NEO-SITH

Born to a large Jedi family, Ruyn Phanius proved to be an idealistic and optimistic member of the Jedi Order with a great enthusiasm for his work. However, this relatively brief span of happiness in his life gave way to a long series of disappointments, failures, and tragedies which eventually overwhelmed him and crushed his spirt.

Having lost all faith in the Force, the Jedi, and himself, he was in an incredibly vulnerable state when he became exposed to the teachings of Ludok Vastor. Ludok Vastor, a particularily bitter and pessimistic Sith philospher from the time of the original Sith Empire, had built his entire philosophy upon notions of social Darwinism, moral nihilism, and solipsism. Seeing the words of Vastor reflected in his own heart, Ruyn embraced them.

His new philosophy completely incompatible with the altruistic teachings of the Jedi, Phanius absconded from the Order and, in secret, began to delve further into the dark side of the Force. Once he learned all he believed he needed to know, he began the task of seeking out disciples.

Over the course of several years, Phanius took on fifty disciples, christening them each Dark Lords of the Sith with himself as their Dark Master. Together they rose in power and influence, eventually assuming control over several systems, establishing the New Sith Empire.

These new Sith -- or Neo-Sith, as they later came to be called -- proved to be a formidable threat to the Galactic Republic; had they stayed united, their Fifty Armies of Dark Jedi would have conquered the Republic and exterminated the Jedi. Their own greed and ambition proved to be their ultimate undoing, however. Dissatisfied with their position under him, the fifty Dark Lords rose up against Phanius and slew him. Once that was done, they then turned on each other, fighting until they had all but wiped one another from existence.

ORDER OF THE SITH LORDS

Though it is believed that all fifty of the Dark Lords of the Neo-Sith wiped themselves out for control of the New Sith Empire following the death of Master Phanius in 2000 BBY, there was one survivor: the Dark Lord known as Darph Bayne.

For reasons that are unknown, instead of crowning himself the new Dark Master of the Neo-Sith and reasserting control over the Fifty Armies, Bayne abandoned the New Sith Empire and went into seclusion; it was in seclusion that he formulated his new philosophy: the Rule of Two. According to the Rule of Two, there could be only two Sith at a time -- one master and one apprentice, one to hold the power and the other to crave it. Travelling to the world of Onderon, he found a young girl named Zannah and took her on as his apprentice.

As the Fifty Armies of Dark Jedi fought amongst themselves for control over the fragmented and rapidly disintegrating New Sith Empire, Darph Bayne established a new organization -- the Order of the Sith Lords -- which would operate in secret for the next two-thousand years. It was only after the man who would become Emperor Dantius Palpatine infiltrated their organization, stole their secrets, and eventually brought them to their knees that the Order of the Sith Lords came to an ignominious end.

blind mice and three deaf

^LL