Darth Id

TV’s Frink said:

THREAD CONTINUES IN ENGLISH FOR ALL YOU LAZY 2-BIT PROCESSING LAZIES

oh, goodie.

TV’s Frink said:

Darth Id said:

there wouldn’t be any villains!

OR MOVIES

Oh that’s not true. You could have a nice little robo-rom-com about how on Alderaan C-3PO and R2-D2 produced BB-88.

You may disregard it if you are a Jevovah’s Witness, but the rest of you put those hands over your hearts and repeat after me:

I pledge a grievance, to Darth Id, the most wildest guy in the wilderness.
A two-bit republic, Ubiquistan,
undulation,
wonder-dog,
with libertines and crusties feral.

Moral of the Story:

DON’T TRAIN ANY NEW JEDI!
They have a 50% going-evil rate.
If they’d just stop training new Jedi, there wouldn’t be any villains!

DuracellEnergizer said:

You are what you eat. It’s an everyday phrase, known by all, accepted by all. It is, unknown to all, patently untrue. The unforeseen and unfortunate truth is this: You are what eats you. This I will prove by telling the story of what ate me, of my home, located beyond this Earth, beyond this galaxy, beyond this very universe.

I was born more than 8,000,000,000,000 years ago – by terrestrial counting – in an ultraterrestrial hell, a cosmos of lunacy itself. It was a world of more than three spacial dimensions, infinitely immense and infinitesimally minute simultaneously, with a sky like death – coloured as dessicated flesh, with a sun like a ruptured eye wreathed in clouds not unlike atrophied arteries – stretched taut over a blighted surface of cancerous green-black liquid mould.

My people – obscenely non-human entities with ten pairs of digitigrade legs, an external six-lobed brain, three seven-chambered hearts, and four gilled lungs – had no concept of burial, so we left our dead exposed to the elements, their prone bodies marked by tetrahedral headstones driven through their thoraxes, allowing them to putrify into puddles of the foulest oily film. There was little life beyond our own kind in residence on the world, ensuring we had little to eat, so we often had to compete with the crystal behemoth-moths for the right to consume our own deceased, steering clear of their razor-edged probosci to avoid of the fate of our potential nourishment.

This was an insufferable existence, made the least bit bearable only by the opiate microbes which released intoxicating pheromones each dimless night, until the day finally came when our black stars come into proper alignment, opening a rift through the maelstrom of transspace which emptied out into this familiar multiverse. Curiously, fearlessly, I strode into the glow of the gateway and was transported to this Earth.

In the end, I took refuge in the body of a human male to survive (consuming his entrails so as to free up living space within his abdominal cavity) and quickly acclimated myself to human existence. Yet I can never adopt wholly the human psyche; my genesis in that chaos universe has fully seen to that.

Cool!

ray_afraid said:

I won’t mention the actual incident as not to offend

O dear! That’s certain to nag me. I do SO detest secrets!

I think several users on these boards are quite used to getting picked on…

O they EXCEL at that, I’m sure!

ray_afraid said:

He made me ALLOL once. Probably the biggest laugh I’ve ever gotten from these boards.
The user he was responding to got mad (must have hit pretty close to the mark) and turned it into a thing, but it wasn’t offensive (in intent or by coincidence) and it was funny.

[C-3PO Voice] Oh, DO tell! Was it the Wal-Mart story bit? I really was just trying to be friends, but that user makes it oh so terribly difficult! In fact, I was only making fun at my own expense, not his! [/C-3PO Voice]

Lord Haseo said:

I luh dat mcdonalds brefas playboy

So, is there like a Lord-Haseo-to-English-converter app too?

Neat!
(Well, the coded messages are lame and boring, but the converter is neat.)

moviefreakedmind said:

Bumped for relevance.

Do I know you, playboy?

Hmm. I’m torn. On the one hand, my objective senses all indicate that these two new threads by Frunk are the most useless, mindless waste of bandwidth in the known Galaxies.
On the other, it seems to be annoying Wubbles, so it can’t be all bad.

TV’s Frink said:

suspiciouscoffee said:

Can you access The Grid? If yes, can you take a person there?

01001001 00100000 01000001 01001101 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 00100000 01000111 01010010 01001001 01000100

So I guess you realized your original idea of replying in “Basic-Command”-style was too challenging, and so resorted to this one-dimensional running gag.
Not a proud moment for you, Flicky.

suspiciouscoffee said:

Can you access The Grid? If yes, can you take a person there?

You don’t want that kind of GRID Flink has, but if you get too close to his lesions you run the risk of contracting it.

No.

TV’s Frink said:

The most unbelievable thing in this thread is that someone married you.

I know you’re disappointed, but I’m taken. Please stop stalking me. It was cute at first, and I was flattered, but now it’s just creepy.

“For it to draw it’s power from The Sun, it’s gotta have some kinda OSCILLATOR!”

–The Asian Guy from Lost

No, there really is a NEW STAR WARS MOVIE!!! Check it out from your local library!

adywan said:

Because that’s not how the Force works

But now because of the Fourth Awakening, we know how it DOES work:

It gets its power from…THE SUN!!!

I saw…get this…
A NEW STAR WARS MOVIE!!!
It’s called “The Fourth Awakening.” Get it? Cuz it’s the 4th movie in the series!
It’s pretty good.
Just one unforgivable line about “The Sun.” Made my wife and I both scoff out “WTF” in unison.
7/10.

Bump to try to generate some awareness of this movie!!! It’s pretty good!
It doesn’t take itself seriously at all. It even winkingly doubles down on the “twelve parsecs” script goof in the original Star Wars, repeating it like, “We don’t give a damn if a parsec IS a unit of distance!”
And CGI Leia isn’t THAT bad.

I sorta wish I could edit the thread title here, though. Looks like I made a pretty substantial typographical error. I meant to call it: the O.T. Continues: The Fourth Awakening!!!

TV’s Frink said:

originaltrilogy.com/topic/Star-Wars-theatrical-versions-not-coming-in-2015/id/18110/page/13

Make sure to read the whole page as I can’t link to a specific post on the page.

Wow, you are really, really concerned with that whole thing, aren’t you…?
Please, get out of the basement every once in a while. It’s 72 degrees and sunny in Hollywood today, and the freaks are out in full force. Get some fresh air and a gander at some real-world weirdos, and get over this “team” thing.

Possessed said:

I don’t particularly like his music, but he was the primary reason for Stevie Ray Vaughan getting discovered, so I respect him. RIP

SRV on Let’s Dance >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Fripp on ‘Heroes’

Such an underrated album.

TV’s Frink said:

…there’s no way a bunch of Ewoks should be able to take down an entire Legion of the Emperor’s best troops.

Yes just like there’s no way one x-wing could sink a single shot down into the Death Star’s exhaust port of less than 2m wide, blowing the whole damn thing up. You once again underestimate the power of the Force.

That’s what Star Wars was all about from the beginning–scrappy underdogs beating seemingly insurmountable adversity–the power of fantasy ensuring that Good prevails over Evil.

Plus, Stormtroopers were ALWAYS clowns.

[Insert gif of Stormtrooper smacking head on blast door frame]

Possessed said:

I feel like the prettiest girl at the dance now.

I wouldn’t rule out that you actually are, given the other attendees…

Sounds like somebody needs a sophistication upgrade.