Burbin

NeverarGreat said:

I think the Biomes shot might work as-is, since the prior shot is of a very pink/red planet from space, and the forest and lava fields at the end of the shot trend a bit more yellow which transitions into the flyover.

I think even the planet has a bit more orange than the castle shot though, and even then I think it’s more important that the footage of the surface blends together, in that closeup of Kylo’s face you get a good look at the clouds above and they’re a mix of pink and yellow/orange, while on the castle shot they’re a more pale white and pink.

Icecream2448 said:

I need to hear a direct comparison.

This one:

CaptainFaraday said:

Here it is.

Looking at the added shots next to the Kylo footage I think the castle shot needs to be a bit more yellow/orange (compare the clouds on the Kylo close-up shot), while the TIE flyover shot is too yellow/orange and should have a bit more red/pink (compare to the forest wide shot).

sherlockpotter said:

https://streamable.com/gcxs7c

I don’t have the ear to comment on the technical side of things, but personally I think the version CaptainFaraday shared had a stronger delivery of the line, I feel like it made the line sound less breathy and gave it better emphasis.

I agree it looks better with the fade out.

To avoid mentioning Anakin twice in a row, perhaps the first pargraph could be changed to:

• With Nute Gunray freed from custody by the assassin Asajj Ventress, the Republic is no closer to capturing General Grievous.

This also avoids the implication Anakin is alone in trying to capture Grievous.

Yeah the motion of the TIEs seems like what’s best for the footage, if only it could be reversed without the smoke looking funky then it would work perfectly. Perhaps the documentary footage could help by breaking up the three shots? Alternatively (or furthermore), could the forest flyover be reversed so that that’s the one with the TIEs approaching the camera? The smoke there is much more static.

sherlockpotter said:

@Burbin, what does the back of the castle look like? Has it ever been shown?

It is shown from the back when Krennic lands on Rogue One, though it’s not shown entirely. Taking another look at MR’s shot:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1urTlsaMGV7rcHt9I6HVLNyOqUQOZQfv0/view?usp=sharing
I agree it’s obscured enough that it could pass as the back of the castle.

I also hope Krennic’s shuttle can be removed, it’s a very distinct ship so it really does stand out.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Burbin said:

If the forest is now meant to be behind Fortress Vader, doesn’t that mess continuity with the shot MR did that adds the castle behind Kylo as he picks up the Wayfinder?

I would think that would be perfect continuity, no? They’re going deeper and deeper into the forest to get the Wayfinder, and when he gets it you can see the castle behind him in the distance.

The front of the castle faces the edge of a large cliff. In MR’s shot you see the front of the castle towering in the distance so the forest would be somewhere below the cliff. Nev’s shot would place the forest behind the castle instead, from that perspective the back of the castle would be visible, not the front.

If the forest is now meant to be behind Fortress Vader, doesn’t that mess continuity with the shot MR did that adds the castle behind Kylo as he picks up the Wayfinder?

I had been keeping up with MR’s updates on Youtube and it’s really unfortunate we might not get his shot of the sabers fizzling out on Exegol, it looked really good and I thought it was an ingenious idea. It really helped highlight the “end of the journey” aspect of the film, and gave the burial ending scene a much better context.

I thought it was a perfect fit for this edit since having both sabers “die” at the end feels like a natural conclusion to both the Skywalker saber being crackly and damaged, and to Rey picking Leia’s saber and finishing it’s journey.

CaptainFaraday said:

Also, thanks, Burbin!

Thank you for all the stuff you’ve done!

And good luck with the crackling saber RogueLeader, thank you for attempting to tackle one of the most elusive changes. That was the one thing that made V1 feel incomplete to me back when it was released, and it’s unfortunate to see how tough it’s been to put together.

Did Sherlock clean up CaptainFaraday’s version of “I’m a Jedi”? That’s the verson I thought sounded the best.

CaptainFaraday said:

Here it is.

Also in ANH you had Vader fly away into space on his TIE so it could be gleaned it had a hyperdrive from that scene alone (I guess that scene is the reason it cannonically has a hyperdrive).

To me I find it harder to believe a shuttle could be found in immaculate condition with those huge wings and fin. I can headcannon that Vader’s personal TIE could’ve been stored in a more secure location which allowed it to survive the explosion (it’s still hard to suspend my disbelief on this but it’s better than nothing).

Also we see Kylo fly on TIEs a bunch in this movie, we see him go through two (now distinct!) TIEs, so it makes more sense to have Ben’s journey to Exegol be on a third and final TIE + the nostalgic imagery of Vader’s TIE right next to Luke’s X-wing feels more like the kind of thing they would’ve done for real for this particular movie.

I guess you could say it TIEs everything togehter… sorry.

sherlockpotter said:

Burbin said:

I don’t see the problem with Pryde saying Palpatine & co. “conjured legions of Star Destroyers”, I don’t think he means that they literally materialized the ships out of thin air. It’s just a riposte to that other officer calling them “conjurers”, he’s simply stating they have brought forth a large & previously unknown fleet, as if being “conjured”.

In any rate I don’t think Pryde would be privy to the inner machinations of the Sith Eternal and their ‘fleet conjuring rituals’, so I don’t see how this line could be read as him explaining the origin of the Sith Fleet.

On the other hand, Kylo was the only person who even went to Exegol (as far as we know), so all any of them would know is what Kylo told them. Why would Kylo, in his official report, say that Palps had “conjured” Star Destroyers if he hadn’t? I’ve always interpreted as Pryde being literal (not to mention, it’s the closest thing the original film offered to an explanation for the Sith Fleet’s existence).

Personally, I’m not super concerned about this either way. If Pryde/the script wants to say that the Sith Fleet was conjured…fine, whatever. It’s not the stupidest thing in the film by a long shot. But if Ascendant does want to downplay that whole aspect…like Chase said, it would probably be more in line with that goal to trim the line.

Like I said, Pryde only uses the word “conjured” as a retort to the other officer’s statement, if he had said “summoners and soothsayers” Pryde would’ve replied “they’ve summoned legions of Star Destroyers”, I don’t think there’s any implication Pryde is explaining the origins of the fleet. And there’s no talk of Kylo filing a report on his visit to Exegol, much less mentioning the word “conjured”, so that’s a leap in logic. All we can surmise from this scene is that Kylo told them about the fleet.

At any rate the official explanation isn’t that the fleet was “conjured up”, but rather simply built in secret, which IS the explanation the original film/script gives, earlier on Poe’s briefing: “His followers have been building something for years, the largest fleet the galaxy’s ever known”. This comes from the intel sent by Hux, so we can assume that’s what Kylo told them.

I don’t see the problem with Pryde saying Palpatine & co. “conjured legions of Star Destroyers”, I don’t think he means that they literally materialized the ships out of thin air. It’s just a riposte to that other officer calling them “conjurers”, he’s simply stating they have brought forth a large & previously unknown fleet, as if being “conjured”.

In any rate I don’t think Pryde would be privy to the inner machinations of the Sith Eternal and their ‘fleet conjuring rituals’, so I don’t see how this line could be read as him explaining the origin of the Sith Fleet.

Peonthegrate said:

I like the idea of the captain Hux, but it sounds tacked on for me with headphones at least. Maybe the captain part is too loud? Or some of the background noise could be amped up some potentially.

I agree, I think the music and ambience fade too quickly right before “Captain” and fade out completely right after “Hux”, making it seem almost like a comedic edit. Comparing to the original where the music fades out through the line.

It was pointed out there are a few rogue floating hairs on a few frames and other minor things, since Neverar will already be working on it I’m sure he could fix up anything he finds, though I don’t presume to impose that on him.

He shared all the finished shots back in January

jonh said:

Hello! These are the shots in which it has been possible for me to change Luke’s hair, there are other shots in which it is impossible: a thousand generations … it is impossible, for me at least.
I have also lost two kilos of weight to Luke

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wxCRU-kV6rx8nPENzKqWPD3lBv0a2c4F/view?usp=sharing

A few thoughts on the latest version of Malevolence:

• On the opening text, is there any reason to specify that six medical stations have been destroyed in the Naboo sector? It would be more straightforward to simply state that “several have recently been destroyed”, since I don’t see the specific number becoming relevant in the episode. Also, to not use the term “destroy” twice in a row, on the previous paragraph perhaps you could change it to - “he has been targeting medical stations, killing thousands of wounded clones”.

• That one clone trooper recognizing Ahsoka did feel odd, it could be rationalized that they know her because she’s close to Plo Koon, but still it feels odd that a clone trooper would recognize her this early on in the series, where this is presumably her first proper mission in the Clone Wars.

• It also stuck out to me that Plo Koon and Ahsoka quickly move from their fighters to the bridge of the star destroyer, only to move back to the hangar at the end. Though I don’t see a way to avoid that and it’s not really a big deal.

Overall great job once again tightening this set of episodes, this works really well as a continuation of you episode 1, cementing the Anakin/Ahsoka dynamic before moving to other aspects of the series.

Having Anakin’s ghost be Hayden but making him look older is the kind of middle ground compromise I could totally see happening for real, which really makes the phantom four feel legit.

CaptainFaraday said:

Here it is without the lightsaber.

That’s really really good! I think the line sounding faintly altered for a split second to those with a sharp ear is a lot less distracting than an out of place sound effect. I doubt a regular audience would pick up on anything among the humming of sabers and lightning blasts. You really have to be looking out for it to notice anything, it’s still hard for me to hear it even playing it back over and over.

sherlockpotter said:

Hmmm…honestly, I think I prefer it without the sound. Just like how the music drops out at that point, I think the line has more weight when there’s nothing to distract from it.

I agree, the sound effect really seems to contest for attention over the climactic line, and at that point in the scene it feels odd to hear the sabre ignite and not see it. Like, if it was intended to be there originally, it would’ve been a medium shot that shows Rey igniting the sabre. Instead it’s a closeup of Rey’s face because we’re only supposed to focus on what she’s saying.

Personally I really liked the mockup some pages back that places the ignition sound as Rey swings the saber, that seemed to fit a lot more naturally to the scene, and it actually gives more punch to that moment instead of clashing with it.

I think that works pretty well. That bit always felt awkward, the way Leia says “no” just feels like “I wish I could explain myself but they didn’t have the footage”, and then Rey’s response “it’s what you would do, if you were sill with us”, which doesn’t even make sense since Leia never went on adventurous quests. With this edit we still get Leia’s look of concern without the awkwardness.

To me 3PO recovering his memory is the only thing that makes that whole side quest tolerable, otherwise it would just be insulting to see a legacy character ‘die’ to a dumb mcguffin bantha chase, and then have their death treated as a joke for the rest of the film.

For the opening of Dark Force Rising I think showing the title after the shot of Anakin (option 2) fits best, maybe you could have the title music fade in as we zoom in on Anakin to make it blend more(?).

Man, what a big upgrade V2.0 of The New Padawan is! The way you further streamlined the episode makes it flow so much better. With the content you had to work with it’s amazing just how great it works, a most impressive salvaging work.

I really like opening on the space conflict above the planet before going down to the surface, I think it works great and feels more like proper Star Wars than awkwardly opening on some speeder bikes treking across a random city. I totally agree on the ‘show not tell’ principle, and on that note, I like the opening texts on principle as a way to give context to the episodes (and change it when needed), but I think some bits often feel redundant. In this case I don’t think is necessary to say that comunications have been cut off - the first line of dialogue in the episode is a droid saying they’re jamming their comunications, and we later hear from Yularen that they’re unable to reach them. So I think we get enough context from the episode itself.