Burbin

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Fair enough. My thinking was that she was responding to Poe’s desire to shoot the snake. As in, she’s clarifying why he shouldn’t shoot it.

Still, I think it feels too much like random exposition, like, why would Finn or Poe care that she learned something from the ancient Jedi texts? They never show much interest in the intricacies of her training. Just seems like something that is solely directed at the audience.

From the beginning, I wasn’t entirely sure why Rey didn’t tell Finn or Poe anything at all. Even something as simple as: “Hold this. I’ve got an idea.”

Rey is overall very distant in this movie, she’s constantly taking actions without bothering to explain things to anyone. It’s part of her struggle in the film. And in this case I think giving the saber to Finn and slowly approaching the serpent makes it pretty clear she’s going to try doing something, she doesn’t need to say “I’m going to try doing something”.

I don’t really feel that line works, it comes off as clunky exposition, why would she feel the need to explain what she’s doing at that moment? And more importantly, they’re trying to stay quiet and make no sudden moves, so it makes no sense for her to randomly yell about what she’s about to do, that would probably startle the beast and make it attack.

I feel it’s pretty obvious she learned that from studying the Jedi texts, it’s all she’s been doing in between the movies, she doesn’t really need to say it, and if she does she definitely shouldn’t say it at that moment.

How about “the ships have been modified”, or “each ship has been modified with Dreadnought-tier laser cannons”. I’m pretty sure the Resistance was already outgunned against the First Order so that’s not saying much.

Yeah, the Resistance’s whole plan hinges on the fact that hitting the cannons ignites the SD’s main reactors and brings the whole ship down, it’s the only reason they believe they have a shot. But in the current cut of Ascendant the cannons come out of nowhere on the Resistance briefing, it’d be better if they’re set up earlier.

Hal 9000 said:

That URL links you to a folder, which contains a test clip as well as the footage that needs to be doctored to fit the new line. If anyone with the ability to do so could make it work, I think we will have gotten away with this change pretty effectively.

I gave it a shot: https://streamable.com/vch7w3

Jar Jar Bricks said:

As for the line, what about: “The fleet has heavily modified weapon systems”.

Yeah, though instead of “weapon systems”, maybe just “super cannons” or “superlaser cannons” or “superlaser helix cannons”, just to make it clear he’s talking about the big gun at the bottom. Or maybe we could just call them “Dreadnought-level laser cannons” so it’s immediately clear it’s a big deal.

Wouldn’t make sense to throw that in there since we already have the previous lines speculating on Palpatine, and the main info being dumped in that moment is about the fleet. Maybe we could throw in a line about the axial cannons instead? since they become important in the final battle and there’s very little attention drawn to them beforehand.

That’s sounding a lot closer to the original lines, though the delivery on the new line still sounds a bit more like a narration. Also I think “old Empire” would make more sense instead of “old war”.

Here’s the whole thing:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1A_mvz-xIZagclVTV6wGvM5jTCtwc_OGK/view?usp=sharing
I didn’t alter the shots where the blade is being hit by Palpatine’s lightning, the purple blade made it look kinda dull, and since the sabre is supposed to be overcharged by lightning I think the more intense pink/violet shade kinda works better, I did make it so that it switches right as it gets hit, and then it fades back to purple at the end. What do you guys think?
Here’s the fully purple version for comparison https://streamable.com/ydt4xn

Here’s my attempt to purplefy Leia’s saber on Exegol:
https://streamable.com/gxpmad

Jar Jar Bricks said:

I think we’re overcomplicating things with all this “destiny” and “fate” mumbo-jumbo.

“Leia told me she sensed a different calling than a Jedi’s.”

It’s short, simple, and to the point. She had more motivation to focus her efforts on being a mother and political activist.

The thing is, that line ties up with the next one, where someone would come and finish her Jedi journey. I think the implication should be that she had to let go of that path, not that she just felt like doing politics over religion. At the end of her Jedi training she sensed that was not the path she was meant to take. It’s easy then for the audience to put two and two together, in that she simply went back to what she was good at, as she says in TFA. Her letting go of the Jedi mantle then comes as a result of her training and being in tune with the Force, and NOT as a rejection of it.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

As for the line “Leia told me she had sensed the end of her Jedi path”, I’m personally not a big fan of it. I think Leia picks up her Jedi path again in TROS by training Rey and reaching out to Ben. It also is vague and kinda frustrating.

How about something simple like: "Leia told me she sensed her fate lied down a different path…” it gets the point across better of why she didn’t continue as a Jedi, and leaves the door open for her to pick it back up to train Rey. Plus it’s similar to what Ben told Luke before they parted ways, and as you say, it’s still sad for her to tell Luke she couldn’t follow in his footsteps.

I don’t think it works to reveal Leia knew of the vision, but nothing else. Her scenes with Rey at the beginning already hint that she could sense something was wrong with her so it’s not really a big surprise, and it’s got little to do with the big reveal about her being Palpatine’s granddaughter. It feels kinda muddled to go from talking about her bloodline to talking about the vision, and then back to bloodline. Yes the vision is related to her bloodline, but when Luke says “because you’re a Palpatine” he shifts the focus of the conversation, so it’s kinda awkward for him to go “You’re a Palpatine, and Leia also knew…”, “What? that I was a Palpatine?!”, “Oh no, she had no idea about that, she knew about the visions though.”

Also, in the movie Rey only has the one vision of the throne, she tells Finn “I had a vision…” not “I’ve been having visions”, and she tells Luke “I saw myself on the dark throne”, no “I’ve been seeing myself…” etc. so it wouldn’t make much sense to imply Leia still trained Rey despite a vision she had yesterday. Unless she’s been having visions about other, unrelated stuff that we never hear of.

Here’s what I’ve got so far:
https://streamable.com/gr5j58

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Well, it would certainly be better than a Fortnite speech lol

I dunno, I really liked how Palpatine’s broadcast was implemented. I like that we’re “shown” the message from the FO spy, and the Resistance is shown proof of Palpatine’s return, rather than just being told. Hearing the Emperor’s voice makes their reaction more believable, trying to rationalize what they just heard, rather than immediately believing some random intel from an unknown spy. Switching the “somehow Palps returned” line over to Leia doesn’t make it any better imo.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Could you put that on her eyes in her vision toward the beginning of the film? Where she’s sitting on the throne?

https://streamable.com/jbcruq

Sith Eyes v2
https://streamable.com/3ddbvs

Yeah it was a pretty rough attempt at Sith eyes I put together quickly to see what I could do, kept it subtle to hide the roughness. I always thought it’d be a neat change, and I’m sure fans of Starlight would appreciate it. I’d be willing to give it a real try if there’s a chance of a V3, I’m just wondering what other changes might be wanted and feasible for an update.

Another thing I’d be willing to try and fix is Leia’s saber on Exegol, which to me has always seemed too pink (from the grey Exegol LUT I’m assuming). I shared Ascendant with some friends a while back and one of them asked if Leia’s saber was supposed to be pink, so I know I’m not alone on that one.

I’d also might give the Kijimi graffiti a shot if anyone wants to ressurrect that old idea.

Hey Hal, would you be up for a V3?
https://streamable.com/0gqec6

I think the best aproach would be to totally excise the “mistery” music from the establishing shot, letting the love music linger a bit further.

Hal 9000 said:

If anyone wants to adjust other language tracks to match once I’m done, shouldn’t be too hard. Much more easily done if you know the language.

If you could share the srt file I’d be interested in doing the spanish subs

Yeah, it makes sense to keep what little original dialogue still works for that scene, though the subs on the other languages still have the altered line.

Hey Hal, I noticed in these new releases Rey has the original “milky” white eyes on her vision. You also didn’t use the change to “we’ve become a dyad in the Force”, though since it’s also reverted on the english subtitles I assume that was intentional?

Spanish:

1. Él ha visto en lo que te convertirás.
2. No solo tendrás poder. Tendrás su poder.
3. Tú matarás a Palpatine…
4. …y tomarás el trono.
5. Yo siento atracción hacia la luz…
6. …y tú hacia la oscuridad.
7. Juntos, nada se interpondrá en nuestro camino.

I also wish your PT edits had the original titles, because to me they work as fixed versions of the original films, not alternative cuts that seek to switch things up, which is the feeling I get by seeing them have totally different titles. Also when thinking of showing this to first time viewers, they’re still likely to be familiar with the original titles even if they haven’t seen the films, so it’s harder to sell these as the “definitive” cuts.

Hal 9000 said:

Burbin, I’ve noted those ideas and will play with them next time I manage to boot up into my old OS and do some work on this. Thank you.

Thanks to you and Spence/RL for putting things togheter. I had made my peace with Rey Palpatine but honestly having seen the workprint I’m beggining to think the ‘nobody’ cut might end up a half decent followup to TLJ.