Anakin Starkiller

Give Chewbacca pants like FOX wanted back in the day. Can’t have him walking around naked.

Physical media is absurd for anyone who consumes a significant amount of it. I ain’t buying discs for my 6000 songs.

I feel ya bud.

Nice!

Series 1 is not really the beginning, but as a good a place to start as any!

Meanwhile email be like.

MalaStrana#2 said:

Anakin Starkiller said:

JackNapier said:

Make Han the other Skywalker that Yoda was talking about.

Honestly that’s no worse than who it actually was.

That’s why I still enjoy the first 45 minutes of TFA: had it been a sequel made way earlier, Rey would have been the lost sister (well, assuming a slight retcon of ROTJ).

Tbf, you could still sorta make that work in an edit by making her mom Luke’s sister.

Would it be possible to edit Survival in a way so as to lead directly into the TV Movie? I guess the key point would be having Ace leave.

JackNapier said:

Make Han the other Skywalker that Yoda was talking about.

Honestly that’s no worse than who it actually was.

Why the “And so forth”? You only had one row to go!

Remove “Episode I” subtitle from TPM and pretend it was a one-off film from 1999 that was never expanded upon.

If only there were a way to make the CGI look worse so it looks properly like a product of its time (direct-to-video?) rather than the massive budget boundary-pusing pioneer 5 years ahead of its time that it was.

Watch the films in alphabetical order.

Include this scene.

How so?

I just had a major idea yesterday for an Episode IX rewrite. Basically, I’d do that trope where are all the important are together descending deeper into a tomb or temple or whatever. In this case, the Jedi Temple. Indiana Jones does this a lot, but I can think of other examples from very different genres. I wonder if this trope has a name…

Anyway, you have Rey, Finn, Poe, Rose, R2-D2, C-3PO, and Kylo and the Knights of Ren journeying into the depths of the Jedi Temple looking for…something, idk. At first the heroes are being kept as hostages, as is fairly standard for this trope, but eventually, they start working together as Kylo drifts towards the Light. The Knights are one by one killed off by the perils they encounter.

Eventually they reach the bottom. It’s a Sith temple (as George Lucas said was under the Jedi Temple), with a mountaintop view onto what were perhaps once lush plains. Mysterious shadows move in the distance. Who knows what lies further beneath?

Anyway, in the temple, they find none other than the Senate himself, Sheev Palpatine (as an emaciated cyborg, of course). They confront him together and manage to overpower him and they all live happily after. Maybe some of them die, idk.

Ed Slushie said:

Retitle the Rise of Skywalker to “Out of the Unknown Regions” so that the sequel trilogy’s titles form a full sentence.

The weird thing is that actually makes perfect sense as a title for TRoS.

JackNapier said:

voltwaffle said:

If I watch it and it’s terrible, I’m holding you personally responsible.

It’s only terrible if you’re a close minded misogynist.

I’m sorry what? We’re not talking about S11 or S12, and even if we were, I’ve already tediously established how ricdiculous it is to call anyone who disliked fairly mediocre series a mysoginist just because the protagonist is now a woman. This is just myopic wilful ignorance.

Concerning that last point, the fact that Kylo rebuilds his mask, Rey rebuilds her lightsaber, and Luke catches it…so many people read it as a middle finger to TLJ without really understanding how it actually builds upon it. TFA is the thesis where things are presented, TLJ is the antithesis where they are violently broken down, and TRoS is the synthesis where they are put back together. It’s about characters being broken down and rebuilt stronger, like how a sword must be soften by the fire before being hardened.

Wait, are we assuming you watch them all back to back? I was imagining one a day.

Replace every instance of the word “Force” with “Memes”. “Use the Memes, Luke.” Bottom text optional.

No, no, once you get past all that Clara crap you get two way better companions. Granted Clara’s departure is absurdly over the top she gets an ending way happier than she deserves, but like I said, it gets better after that. World Enough and Time / The Doctor Falls is widely considered one of the greatest stories in the show’s history.

Remember when we’d meme about John Boyega saying there’s no right order by proposing an order with AotC four times? Well now it’s no longer the worst.

Renumber the series to confuse the hell out of the audience.

Episode I: TRoS
Episode II: TESB
Episode III: TFA
Episode IV: RotS
Episode V: TPM
Episode VI: ANH
Episode VII: AotC
Episode VIII: RotJ
Episode IX: TLJ

For sure.

Remake all the music in the style of this version of Toxic.

Does “scrap the entire script before filming” count as one thing?

Well that’s not far off from what they did. I always compare the last minute script to Jurassic Park III which actually scrapped its entire script weeks before filming and wrote a new one as they were shooting. The weirdest part is the finished film is actually really good. Shame the same can’t be said for TRoS.