First off, Chapter 4 is released! See the updated change log and let me know if you want to watch it. I’ve just started on Chapter 5.

Peonthegrate said:

Wow, definitely much better on the Blurg. No real complaints there I think.

Good, I’m happy with the new transition and will finalize that.

The Mudhorn scene is better for sure, I feel like there’s a few pieces still missing. Mainly with the audio, I feel like the Mudhorn should be making some more noise around the 35 second mark based off of its movements.

• The first time the Mudhorn attacks and knocks over Din feels maybe a bit too abrupt/sudden. That may be unfixable due to the footage available.
  And at around the 1:00 mark there’s virtually no ambient sound coming from the environment or the Mudhorn when he smashes into the wall.

I wonder if it’s better to take an entirely different approach to this encounter seeing as there isn’t much establishing footage. My next idea would be for Mando to still enter the cave, but edit it as to not seem like he is intentionally going in there looking for something, but more that it’s just an inconvenient geographical obstacle in his way back on foot without a Blurg. (Hence the reason Kuiil said it was impossible to travel through that land without a Blurg mount)

Should I improve upon that first video above or rock with this cave idea?

https://streamable.com/5lycic

The lodging scene is definitely better as well. I still think it seems a bit odd that the two men seem interested in Mando solely because he’s a Mando which they find interesting I guess. And willfully allow him and Cara to stay without any mention of them being there to protect them or any reason they may want them there in the first place.
though , again this may be difficult to fully flesh out with the footage available. I like the scene of Mando giving Cara the credits much more now also. However it seems weird again to me that he’s paying her to come along for seemingly little reason.
Plus he says “ready for round two” which makes it seem there will be a fight ahead, that never comes.

Ok, I’m taking another crack at this idea a bit too. What I have changed is that now we only hear the farmers talk about having a job but that “We didn’t even tell you what it is yet”, however Mando is interested as soon as he learns about the isolated area. He now does not pay Gina to come as protection, but brings her along generally as a favor as she is looking for refuge too. The pay off in this “job” they do is shown a few minutes later. They now generally help out the village with defensive structures, blaster training, plus Mando gets some more time to bond with the nice lady. Also, in the next scene when Gina references how they’ve been there a few weeks we now have some idea as to what they’ve been up to.

Villager request: https://streamable.com/81371t

Villager job: https://streamable.com/xudy1e

Peonthegrate said:

I was finally able to watch your edit, starting with Chapter 1. I wanted to say that overall I loved this edit, and thought you did a very good job. Though I do have a few criticisms that I hope come across as constructive! As the positives far outweigh any of the negatives.

Awesome, thanks so much. This seems like exactly the type of feedback I’m looking for when I go back through to release a v2.

A Small one that I had was the removal of Mando learning how to ride the Blurg. I didn’t have an issue with this from a story perspective, just that for me from where the scene was cut it felt like… the viewer was missing something. Perhaps it’s cause I’m used to the original, but it felt a bit too much like the scene cut halfway through the middle of a scene to me.

I took another look and I do agree with you on the scene feeling like something was missing, so I reworked the transition with the visuals and audio. The problem was the abruptness at which Din was walking in the next scene indicating that something had occurred to agitate him, so by changing the shot and soundtrack between the events we no longer see that agitation and feel like we missed something.

https://streamable.com/yhjp4l

Let me know if that looks better to you!

Similarly to this, I liked the idea of the Mudhorn scene change, though this one didn’t work as well for me. It seemed like the Mudhorn “spawned” out of nowhere almost, and some of the cuts have Mando all muddied and beat up, and the next cut has Mando looking clean and uninjured. Perhaps there would be a way to show more of the Mudhorn scenes without the entire Jawa subplot to avoid these few issues mentioned.

In the same way, I have tried to reconstruct some of the shots around here to make the appearance of the Mudhorn more ominous and happen in a way that seems less like it “spawned”. I think the back and forth cuts I added in here help us see that Din notices it first so the viewer has a better clue that something is approaching them offscreen until we see the beast ourselves. I also adjusted all scenes to keep consistency with the armor damage. Again, let me know if this looks better to you.

https://streamable.com/6jegcw

The next issue I personally found was on the farm world. I LOVE the idea of what you did here, and it worked 90% of the time for me. It’s possible I just missed what the scene was trying to say. But with the new added context, or I guess removal of context that Mando is supposed to be defending the town, it felt very weird to me that Mando seemed to randomly ask the two men who approached him at night at the Razor Crest for their credits for no reason other than to bring Cara Dune along. It just felt weird that he was able to ask for their credits with nothing in return.

That’s a good point, I have adjusted the shots and voicelines in this scene to rectify that. It now should appear as though Din is more proactive in his request both to the villagers for housing, and for bringing Cara along as extra protection for Grogu while also giving her the refuge she desires as well. He pays her with his own credits now.

https://streamable.com/5824vq

I also found it a bit odd that the Widow at the farm told Mando “thank you” as he finally left. As from what we saw (unless I’m missing something) he didn’t do anything except take payment to lie low there for awhile? and never did anything for them.

Another good catch, thanks. This scene is easily fixed by simply removing that dialogue and letting them look at each other, wondering what life they could’ve had together. Glad to know this whole village idea worked in general though and with these couple touch ups it should play out without a hitch now!

Final thing, maybe I’m crazy but it almost feels like there’s some sort of filter over the video itself. I could just be seeing things, or it could be because the file size. I’m unsure but it seems like the colors are different than what’s on Disney+, as well as it seems there’s some Aliasing on small lines.

I didn’t do anything with the colors or anything like that, but I can try for a higher quality render next time and see if that does it.

• a very small thing that’s not really a big issue. Is the credit cards at the end reference now cut scenes. Not a big deal but thought I’d mention everything I could think of.

Yep, I’m aware of some inconsistency of credits/intro cards throughout each chapter and will be going through all of those to unify the technical presentation in the v2’s.

I hope nothing came across as too critical, as besides those few things I loved every other change and thought it was seamless. I’m especially looking forward to Chapter 2 now!

Not at all, that feedback was very helpful and I hope the fixes look better. I’ll finish up Chapter 4 soon and then render this v2 once a couple other people leave reviews too.

WitchDR said:

Would love a link to Chapter 3!

Sent! Made some good progress on Chapter 4 today and also found a great way to include Episode 12 as requested. Check out the updated Change log for details!

Links have been sent out and I am back working on Chapter 4 again. Going to be toying with including Mando Episode 12

Peonthegrate said:

Reading the changelog for Chapter 4 and wanted to give some input. This is only my opinion obviously as it’s your edit, but in my opinion it’s mistake in the grand scheme of these “Mando verse” shows to remove Episode 12 from Chapter 4.

As it establishes that something odd is going on with the empire, as we see what seems to be some sort of Snoke business and cloning going on in the Imperial Facility. I already view that as an important scene with what is currently in cannon, and believe it will only become more and more important as more gets revealed in the coming seasons of Mando.

For the same reason I personally think leaving in the Ahsoka Thrawn dialogue is very important as well. (Maybe not currently with what we have in Mando, but almost definitely will be important in the coming seasons/ Ahsoka.)

I understand cutting it for the Mandalorian plot, but I expect it will be important to the plot of the Mandalorian quite soon. Perhaps even a potential future “Chapter X” in your edits.

Despite the criticisms, I wanted to say that so far, from just skimming through the Chapters as I haven’t had time to watch through them fully, Im very much enjoying your changes. And loved your approach specifically with having Mando’s and Boba’s plots intertwine in Chapter 2.

stevepaynter said:

I agree, I think you should leave the Ahsoka Thrawn dialogue in this edit as I believe it will play an important role in the Mandoverse later. Also, we the see the origin of the Beskar spear that Mando gets later which is also referred to in later episodes. Smudger also excluded the Ahsoka Thrawn dialogue and the origin of the Beskar spear scene from his edit which I always thought was odd as it’s setting up the future series. When Smudger was online (it appears he’s gone into hiding) he has admitted it was mistake and has plan to put it back in his edit in the future.

Thanks for the feedback guys! That’s some good stuff and definitely helping me think it through again.

1. Regarding Episode 12, I had initially thought to cut it as it wasn’t directly related to the current Mandalorian arc and it made this edit into an unnatural ~3 hour long 4-Act plot. However, as I have been going forward and editing even more (the changelog isn’t up to date), I have cut out a good chunk of time and may be able to shove back in some of Episode 12 as a Cold Open to the movie. There is a ton of mindless fighting and weird blue fish guy in that episode which I can heavily reduce and maybe keep that whole sequence to ~15-20 minutes total, which would allow us to keep the important bits of dialogue regarding the Empire’s cloning program that you mentioned. I will take another crack at it once I have a better handle of the full run time and see if this can be preserved and integrated into the natural flow of Act 1.

2. Regarding Ahsoka’s dialogue, I actually did not cut out nearly as much as what you’re thinking of with Smudger. He chose not to include any of the city raid or content about the Beskar spear whereas my edit literally only cuts Ahsoka’s two lines namedropping Thrawn out of nowhere. So mine does still maintain the origin of the spear, the presence of the Magistrate as a whole etc. I found it incredibly distracting to mention a character that has absolutely nothing to do with this show and was clearly intended to act as only a teaser for Ahsoka’s own upcoming show. When framing my project as “The Book of Mandalore” it really doesn’t make sense for Ahsoka to come in out of nowhere teasing her own show. That’s the main reason I cut the namedrop, so now in my edit it seems like Ahsoka is taking refuge on Korvus when the Magistrate begins to hunt her. However, if in the future we get some additional information about Bo-katan’s involvement in this scheme and it suddenly seems important to The Book of Mandalore or is somehow necessary to understand the content in the Ahsoka show, then it’s a very easy fix to add these 2 lines back in. As of now, I don’t think these lines will have any importance aside from a throw away teaser. I believe the Ahsoka show will provide more than enough context to understand its own plot without the context in Mandalorian Season 2 episode 5.

I do have some personal business coming up, so my Chapter 4 here is looking to be 1-2 weeks away from completion due to lack of access to my editing pc and wanting to spend some extra time to do this film right when I do return. I’ll still be active on the forums but won’t be able to work much on the edit for a bit.

Hey, sounds great, would love to take a look!

Anjohan said:
Sadly, Episode 2 will be the Leia Kidnapped plot - and with the removal of a lot of cringe, believe me, it works a lot better. Seen the edit many a times now, and what removing dumb shit does for this series/film - you have no idea!

This I do believe! It’s actually astonishing how those little adjustments in removing the distractions help the entire experience. When the viewer isn’t constantly being pulled out of the show, everything just keeps building up and absorbing you in.

Anjohan, since it seems like we won’t be getting an explanation as to why Vader let Obi-wan leave in Episode 3 as he appeared angry about it in episode 4, I have cut a draft for how to make Obi-wan’s escape through the fire seem less like Vader intentionally let him go. Still would need a lot of soundtrack work but as a concept I thought something along these lines would make it more believable: https://streamable.com/kmx5y8

gbroyce said:

link please? would also love to hear what your plans for the next movie are as well as your vision for Episode 9. Also after watching the clips on Vimeo and reading the reason why I almost wish you put palpatine saying “kill him” from ROTS for shadowing his return, but absolutely love the clips and the change list I read through.

Sent! I’ve actually released Episode 8 in its beta form and Episode 9 in an alpha cut, so you can find the links to those threads in my signature.

I thought about adding that “Kill him” line in someway, but since the thought only crosses Rey’s mind in the novel and isn’t actually an audible communication, I think it’s best to just see the results of her thought through her aggression.

Hope you enjoy, feel free to post a review when you watch!

If you do have a way to enhance this episode into content for your edit Anjohan, then I will certainly support you in that endeavor.

I was expecting an explanation for why Vader didn’t go through the fire and a look into his psyche after seeing his master again, some deep Obi-wan character development after meeting Anakin for the first time in a decade, and redemption for the threat of the inquisitors, but this episode did not touch a single one of those aspects. Yes, we saw Kenobi start to get back into form but it was only seen in his actions in combat, not felt through good character development.

This was the shortest Star Wars live action episode we have ever had in anything, and for me the poor pacing overshadowed the few good moments that were present (Obi-wan in the water hallway, the tomb of dead Jedi, and Leia holding Obi’s hand). Like I said, there was only 15 minutes of screen time from when Obi-wan stepped foot on the inquisitor base to when he escaped with Leia. We were given the shortest live action production in the history of Star Wars after what happened last episode which makes no sense to me. From the get-go the pacing was wonky with the random rebel guy changing his mind in 30 seconds after suddenly remembering his deceased wife. Wade was introduced and died within 2 minutes, but it seemed like we were somehow supposed to care about him. Tala open hand godslaps a stormtrooper and shoots 2 of them precisely THREE seconds of screen time after Reva walks away… The hallway door hadn’t even closed yet, Reva was literally 10 feet down the hallway during this escape, how did she not turn around after hearing the blaster fire? I am flabbergasted as to how this is acceptable production quality. Perhaps I am letting expectation ruin this for me, but this was a 3.5/10 episode for me, very disappointing and by far the worst of the show.

Maybe there is a way to combine the best parts of Episode 2 with this episode 4 to make a coherent Act 1?

Just finished uploading Chapter 3, let me know if you want a link. Beginning production on Chapter 4 now!

Just finished watching, that was… not good. Extremely generic prison break sequence with little to no tension or purpose. From the time Obi-wan enters the Inquisitor base to the time he leaves, only 15 minutes of show time goes by. That is astonishing to me. Not much of it is believable, the inquisitors again look beyond incompetent, and nothing important happens whatsoever. How many times are we going to see 5th brother and other inquisitors walking around doing absolutely nothing besides grunting?

The only redeeming scenes in the entire episode to me are the bacta tank one in the opener to use as a transition, and I also thought the ending scene of Leia holding Obi-wan’s hand was well done and can be reused somewhere in your edit for a tender moment.

MandThUlti said:

Hello, I would love to see this. May I have a link?

See my post above for the timeline on production. I’m working on my Mandalorian/Boba edit now which will take me another few weeks. Production on this will start again in ~1 month.

I’m still team all-piano as I got more of the feeling that Obi wan was experiencing horror for what Anakin has become more than fear for his own safety. Obi doesn’t seem to hold himself in high regard at the moment so I didn’t feel that he was that scared of dying in the moment, and was more experiencing fear in the sense of fearing the reality of who Vader is and what he has done. It a fear of the truth rather than a fear of “I’m scared he is about to hurt me”. Seeing the kid be murdered didn’t cause Obi to flee in fear because he was scared that that was about to happen to him to, he stared in shock because he feared the truth of his failure to Anakin. This type of fear greatly changes how the scene should be scored, but of course this is all open to personal interpretation. I would say he “feared the sadness” which is why I thought the piano theme is most fitting.

90% complete on Chapter 3, need to do one final review and then I’ll release. Looking at Tuesday/Wednesday. This is a fun one and by far the most work I’ve put into a Chapter so far!

Sent out links to those who asked.

Got some time to continue on Chapter 3 a bit more and wanted to share a couple scenes I’m working on:

• Completely reworked how the ambush scene happens on the way back to the city. We no longer see all of the goons setting up the whole trap, telegraphing the entire event to the viewer. Now we get some quick back and forth cuts with Din traveling and the upcoming location of the trap, which builds the tension as we can tell something is about to go wrong but have no idea what it is until the last second. Had to edit a lot of scenes to make this happen but I’m liking it a lot.

https://streamable.com/szm5ro

• As Din leaves on foot from the ambush, we NOW see that Boba is watching him walk back, insinuating that Boba was indeed the one who ordered the thugs to ambush him. This is accompanied by Boba’s theme song.

https://streamable.com/6flevr

Anjohan said:

So, I did some remixing of a variation of a fanmade Dark Deeds, original Dark Deeds (John Williams OST) and some custom-made Sith Whispers from YouTube along with my own dark ambience and SFX for the scene. This was made for those who requested a more haunting theme, and although I think I still prefer The Piano Theme because of the sadness within the Imperial March and Anakin’s/Vader’s actions in the scene. Tell me which you prefer.

Vader Returns - Anakin’s Dark Deeds Version

https://streamable.com/3w3hls

Vader Returns - Piano Theme (the frontrunner for the scene as of right now)

https://streamable.com/vwhsix

And then I’ll tweak and upload the Duel with Vader once I get back.

I still heavily prefer the piano track. I think the Dark Deeds one is still an improvement over release, but actually I just felt more blanket sadness during that one compared to the piano one. The piano one is chilling as well as depressing which I think fits what Obi-wan is feeling.

During this sequence, I would also recommend re-organizing the shots of Obi-wan telling Leia and officer lady to leave. It is very strange pacing when they all just stand inside the building for so long as Vader goes on his tear. I understand Obi staying there to watch, but there is absolutely no reason the other 2 should be standing there for so long. I’d re-cut this so that Obi tells them to flee way earlier on. They stand there watching Obi look out the window for 2 whole minutes as Vader comes closer and closer. Leave! Run! Flee as soon as Vader turns the corner! The imperial officer obviously knows who that is and should know to book it out of there the second she sees what’s coming. This reinforces the power of vader’s presence, and also helps that constant cutting to characters flaw you mentioned about the battle scene too. I think when those segments are grouped together it helps the viewer keep focus appropriately. We all knew Vader wasn’t going to catch Leia in the building there so clear her out earlier on so we can lock into Obi-wan’s emotions for the entire duration instead of getting distracted by wondering why the others are just standing there doing nothing instead of following the plan

T-202 said:

I’ve finally gotten to see your Episode 9 and I’m impressed just as I was with the other edits, your version is once again my favorite version now. I loved Palpatine’s red lighting, I got chills during Rey and Kylo’s duel, I adored the rescore during Rey’s final stand, and I love that you kept Ben Solo alive. You changed up the ending so it’s not a retread of what ROTJ was, and I aplaud you.

Thanks for the kind words. I am still going to take another crack at the ending as a whole, but yes I am definitely striving to NOT have this be a repeat of RotJ “the Light beats the Dark and Palpatine dies!” I’m not sure if my initial concept is the right solution, but I’m on the right path at least.

However, some things could be improved, like maybe you could move the Galaxy fleet scene up a bit, perhaps right before Rey’s final stand, then have the part where they pick up Finn after it?

What I was trying to convey was that the space battle is a mere representation of the events happening between the force on the ground. When Palpatine is beating Rey, the Resistance is losing, when Rey is aided by the Jedi, the Resistance begins winning etc. I found it very off putting in theatrical when the space battle is preceding the events happening in the force battle. It was completely backwards thematically.

Some things like Ben’s wound and the Skywalker’s sabers on Tatooine are noticeably zoomed in but I don’t know how you’d get around that.

Yeah, it’s not too great and was more of a concept sketch to see if the story point works. I think it was decent as a story idea but the execution is too distracting so I’ll be taking another shot at reworking the whole concept.

Speaking of Ben on Tatooine, It seems like he jumps to lightspeed twice, or maybe I’m looking at it the wrong way?

Ha, you might be right there. I need to remove the first shot of the Falcon on the Tatooine horizon, there’s no way the ship should be jumping at that speed while in the gravity well of the planet anyways.

Overall great edit with some great potential. P.S If you want to give Finn a bigger role in the finale you could use something like this https://www.reddit.com/r/fanedits/comments/uxyafk/finns_moment_tros/.

Thanks, I still have a ton of work to do here and it’ll be some time before I get to it. But I think some of the ideas turned out well at least. I’ll review those Finn lines and see if anything can be used throughout the film, but sadly they didn’t create enough content for Finn to stay a compelling character outside of TFA so I don’t have much hope in redeeming something epic for him.

CamSMurph said:

You know, this project does raise a good point about the Sequel Trilogy as a whole.

For a story that’s all about bringing balance to the Force, these films sure have a pisspoor way of conveying that ideal. In the eyes of Disney, it’s either one or the other, and rather than forgoing both in favour of a balanced galaxy, they chose the light. Talk about contradicting the original saga!

Yes, I couldn’t agree more. I mean… They got J.J. Abrams so I don’t expect him to understand the intricacies of the themes of the force, but the depiction of it in his film was outright detrimental to the entire concept of balance in the force and turns the entire Star Wars lore into an incoherent mess which was why Rise of Skywalker is my least favorite Star Wars film. I am attempting to maintain the actual behavior of the living force through my edit.

If we look at the trilogies and how they conclude:

PT: Ends with the Dark winning
OT: Ends with the Light winning
ST: Ends with… the Light winning… again

Like if you were going for any sort of balance or pattern, at the absolute minimum you should have the Dark winning again. That’s partially why the trilogy felt so empty to me… there’s no greater meaning or addition to the character of the force. It’s just a rehash of the exact same conclusion of the last trilogy, even against the same exact villain haha. It was depressing to behold. The ST should have ended with balance, neither the light or dark winning, but the force users learning to co-exist.

RogueLeader said:

No prob! Maybe once you drop a work print people may have some suggestions for things that could be added back in. Sometimes less is more, and I think it works for this situation. If anything, you could quick flashes of Fennic going in and out of consciousness if you wanted to show glimpses of her being rescued by Boba (but maybe use daytime shots with Boba’s spur sound effect), and quick shots inside the mod parlor, but I don’t think that is totally necessary.

I actually think it turned out quite well with the surprise reveal. It was a good idea and as far as I can tell, it doesn’t appear that any other context is necessary to beef it up.

Also wanted to say that I like how you are reframing the stories as well. Like you mentioned, it seems like the main Mandalorian story is moving toward the reformation of the Mandalorian culture. And someone, whether it be Din, Boba, or someone else, will become the new Mandalore. It definitely feels like Boba will play a role in that in some shape or form, so it makes sense to also include his story within this series. I like The Book of Mandalore as a title.

Thank you, I’m going to try to create a The Book of Mandalore title graphic akin to The Mandalorian one at some point to swap out during the logo cuts.

Something that could benefit from this idea is the weird decision to reunite Grogu and Din within the Book of Boba Fett. I know others are basically trying to take the Mando stuff from the Book of Boba Fett and turn it into basically The Mandalorian Season 3, Episode 0. I think that works too, but with how the stories are intertwined, this series might make that story choice work in the best possible way. A part of me is tempted to suggest putting a title card somewhere that says “Six months later” or “One year later” to imply that Mando and Grogu have been apart for some time before being reunited.

I am also hoping that is the case once I reach that point in the story, but I suppose I won’t find out until I get there! Seeing the Din/Boba stories intertwined should help them feel more like co-protagonists so we don’t get that awkward “Wait why is the Mandalorian suddenly the star of Boba’s show?” feeling.

Also wanted to say I love how you trimmed the prologue! Good job with that.

Thank you, I thought it was a good balance of my overall goal for this project, keep enough content in to nail every key character arc but also cut out the fluff scenes that are only in there for the sake of “simple entertainment” ie the lake monster.

T-202 said:

There’s one word I’d use to describe this edit, seamless. This edit is almost completely seamless, I had to check the cut list a few times to see what you did, which in my book means you succeeded! As much as I love Smudger’s compressed version of Mando’s story, I feel like yours will be more of a deep dive while still removing the fluff. I like that you used Chapter 6, it reinforces that Mando has a moral code that other Bounty hunters don’t and it sets up the future with Miggs Mayfield. Chapter 6 also expands upon Star Wars lore, giving us a better look at the New Republic, their uniforms, and that X-Wings are still in play. However, I do have a question about the credits, are you going to add the text later? Overall great work as always and I’m looking foward to Chapter 2!

Wow, thanks for the review! I honestly wasn’t expecting it to turn out that well to start as I haven’t even sat down and watched it start to finish myself yet, but that sounds like a solid platform to build upon. Yes, I’m going to go back through all of the intro cards & credits at some point to unify how that is presented. Just wanted to tackle the story aspects first and then I’ll loop back around for any other technical edits.

Will send out links to the others. Going to start on Chapter 3 today, this is a strange one as I’ll be making the jump from Season 1 to Season 2 within the same movie. I have some ideas for how to make this happen but we will see how it pans out.

Anjohan, some of the most basic directing principles were violated during Episode 3 which add to the fight segment feeling “off”. For example: https://streamable.com/n0llyy

When Kenobi seemingly runs right back into the same area because of the faulty left/right relationship of the camera, it almost appears as a comedy sketch where he runs back into the scene “oopsies, forgot my lightsaber!”

It is extremely disorienting when you can’t tell which direction characters are moving, and as you see this can be mended by a simple horizontal flip effect, but I’ll rewatch and keep my eye out for more.

There’s something fishy going on during this whole act because it doesn’t seem like they filmed enough takes, didn’t invest in the props to build a good looking set, the lighting is setup as an amateur-like fan film instead of hollywood-esque production, basic left/right principles were not followed, lightsaber graphics are very poorly implemented, fight choreography left much to be desired etc.

On the surface, all of these factors indicate a lack of budget, but Disney+ has become notorious for an over reliance on post-production to enhance the on-set content. As we know, Kenobi was given a very large budget so it truly just comes down to poor decision making during the on-set filming process and thinking that it will look great after post-production. Obviously that did not occur as you can only fix so much in post. As we see from Vader’s castle interior, they did not properly divert the budget across to the board to make some of these scenes come to life. These are top level decision making mistakes, not the fault of the actors or crew.

jrs81 said:

revel911 said:

jrs81 said:

The fire scene needs edited. take away Vader holding up his arm to block the fire. Vader is not bothered by fire. And let the Loader droid IMMEDIATELY enter the scene to grab OB1. This scene is drawn out way too long.

Do we know that since he may have ptsd from being burned?

In the comics, he walks through fire, lava, and more. His suit protects him from all of it. Vader would NOT be afraid of fire. He even built his castle on Mustufar.

Agreed, the entire sequence there I’m expecting him to walk through the fire unfazed, or at least force pull Kenobi back to him but he just… stares? I was confused, but perhaps we will get a glimpse into his decision next week so I’d hold off on making that change just yet.

RogueLeader said:

Maybe you could show Boba seeing the flare, but don’t show Boba finding her body and him taking her to mod parlor. Boba seeing the flare could be the set up, and then later in the episode it is paid off when we fade in from black and reveal that Fennic is alive, and that Boba saved her life. For all we know, Boba could have found Fennic’s body not long after Din left.

I know showing is typically better than telling, but since Boba explains how he saved her, you could just skip all of that, and it would help truncate the “movie” a little more too. Also, I think the mod shop looks a little low budget, so cutting it is a plus in my opinion.

Hey, that’s actually a pretty good idea. I just tested in out in my cut and it seems to work well. Now when we have that Day 2 to Day 3 time jump it seems that Fennec has been under Boba’s care for 24 hours instead of bleeding out under twin suns all that time. Yes, we do miss the context of how exactly she was saved, but like you said the mod parlor looks odd anyways.

The main downside is cutting out all of this reduces the film length by ~5 minutes and it was already beginning to run on the short side. We now clock in at 1 hour 50 minutes with the entire movie taking place on Tatooine. But in the interest of telling the most cohesive story possible out of the content provided I think this does the best job of it, thanks for the suggestion friend.

Uploading Chapter 2 now

Anjohan said:

Acbagel said:

I agree with headtaker18. That rendition didn’t fit the mood of the scene for me. Seeing the kid get murdered with that didn’t feel right. I think some subtle notes of the imperial march are what this needs rather than a full performance of the soundtrack.

Great. It is settled. I had to try it. Three opinions and I completely agree and it is no fuzz. I just released an alternate version up above ( https://streamable.com/vwhsix ), and will try the scene with different renditions of the Imperial March so we can find one that fits.

This was phenomenal, absolutely chilled me to the bone. The perfect amount of menacing, sadness, and fear. Much more powerful than the release version.

I agree with headtaker18. That rendition didn’t fit the mood of the scene for me. Seeing the kid get murdered with that didn’t feel right. I think some subtle notes of the imperial march are what this needs rather than a full performance of the soundtrack.

Thanks for the feedback. I could use some help on something from my changelog. Can anyone make sense of this?

• As Din flies away from Tatooine with Grogu, we go back to Boba finding Fennec’s body in the desert. [QUERY: I could use some help understanding the timeline on this one… So Din fights Fennec right after sunset, we’ll call this Day 1. The nighttime fight lasts ~5 minutes before Fennec is captured. Din goes out looking for a Dewback. He’s out there ALL night long, until past sunrise on Day 2. So let’s approximate that Din leaves to find a Dewback at 2100 on Day 1. Fennec takes a gut shot around 0600 Day 2. Din FINALLY returns with a Dewback seemingly early morning, but after sunrise so let’s say Day 2 ~0800. So he spent ~11 hours walking to the Dewback and riding it back? Then Din rides all the way back to the city, and it is pitch black nightfall again by the time he gets there, so that’s another ~12 hours gone by. Boba finds Fennec’s body ~2100 Day 2, even though he saw the flares in the night sky 24 hours prior? He easily would have reached Fennec long before then, but let’s say that he waited the 24 hours to ensure no one spotted him. Now you’re telling me that Fennec took a point blank gut shot, bled out in the desert getting absolutely cooked by the twin suns for ~15 hours before Boba finds her, AND THEN by the time he transport her to the mod gang, the sun is just beginning to come up so it’s around 0530 Day 3. Fennec’s wound was so severe that her intestines had to be replaced with mechanics but she just laid unconscious for nearly 24 hours before receiving medical attention and didn’t die? Does anyone else understand this timeline? I’ve tried to make sense of it with the edits, but the time of day is constantly changing and that’s the only day/night cycle I’ve been able to make sense of but it doesn’t seem possible for her to survive this.

Episode 3 notes:

The inner “politics” of the Inquisitors is the main drag. I don’t know if it’s some of the costume decisions, or the directing on how to deliver the lines, but I have a hard time with these scenes. The behavior of the Inquisitors seems exceptionally childish and one dimensional.

Depending on how you choose to edit Obi-wan’s personality, there were a few more lines that were overly snippy/aggressive that go back to his ultra-depressed mood people have mentioned.

Overall though, I think this episode does offer more in terms of structuring a cohesive film edit as there’s some good main plot advancement. This show desperately needs your help on the soundtrack/music side of things too, and there
are probably a couple touch ups to make to the action scenes as well.