Acbagel

jadenkorr41 said:

Heya Acbagel. Not sure if u ever saw my battle of exegol enhanced thread. I was wondering if u have any way of looking to enhance battle of exegol in your next workprint. Particularly my capital ship scene. Sorry I’m not trying to be an attention seeker. It’s more of I like the scene, but im looking for ways to seamlessly incorporate it into TROS, so looking for ideas to toss around.

Hey! Sorry I’m responding a month late, I’ve gotten away from my Sequel Trilogy project to work on other things for a while. I did check out your Exegol thread just now, some very cool ideas there! I’m not sure if it makes much sense in my edit to add more to that space battle as of now, as unfortunately I find that whole battle to be pretty lifeless as a whole. It’s so generic as in “fly around a giant empty gray atmosphere and shoot at millions of star destroyers with no gameplan or strategy whatsoever”. It’s just not a very intuitively setup battle to begin with, and I find the content on the ground of Exegol to be much more engaging so at this point I wouldn’t want to extend that space battle any longer than it already is. When I start work on this film again in the future I’ll reconsider though! Thanks for the comment

Isaac101106 said:

This is the best TROS edit ever when I watch tros I will watch this edit but here are some great things and some things you could fix before the final cut.

Wow! Thanks for saying that. Very nice to hear and I’m glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to review too.

1. The rescoring was perfect but I didn’t like the rescoring in the final battle felt the trailer music was a bit too corny

Understood! Though, it is all of the Jedi force ghosts appearing out of nowhere to fight Palpatine round 3 so I think it’s all a bit corny to begin with haha. I’d say that track fits well in this case

2. There is a continuity error in that kylo gets his helmet repaired before he lands on Mustafar so maybe put the Mustafar scene after he gets his helmet fixed

I did notice that in creating the film but I think just because he rebuilds his helmet doesn’t necessarily mean he has to wear it in every single scene afterwards. In TLJ, Kylo “destroys” his identity in only being a masked figure, so I think it works to have it on and off throughout the film. I wouldn’t call it a continuity error just because he doesn’t wear it in 100% of the scenes after he rebuilds it.

3. I Loved lukes voice in the cave

Thanks! I thought it helped Luke be to Rey what Obi-wan was to Luke. Nice to pay homage like that

4. Rey killing her parents was great but that shot of the ship crashing feels out of place

I somewhat agree here, the ship exploding is kind sudden for them to die like that but I don’t have a better idea off the top of my head on how to communicate their death. Can you think of any other way a child would kill her parents?

5. Another continuity error is the that when kylo turns around to see Han Rey stabbed in the stomach when she was facing his back

I was looking for what you’re saying here but I don’t see it. I think Kylo is turning as Rey is grabbing the saber. I watched it frame by frame and didn’t see anything here that looked wrong.

6. Another excellent feature is kylo on Coruscant but the edges of his face are rough you might need to smoothen it

Thanks! Yeah some of the VFX work here wasn’t fully developed. Will definitely take another pass on scenes like this in the future.

7. The final Battle left me speechless the one we deserved Thank you only thing if you can I know it is very difficult because I tried once but it failed is try to replace Rey’s body with Anakin’s at that second if you can’t I understand you already did enough

Awesome, that’s the goal! That is a good idea and I might try it. Seems kind of difficult to pull off but I’ll see if it’s possible for me.

8. Luke at the end felt very cringed maybe put all the force ghosts in the end

What do you mean he “felt very cringed”? Not sure what you mean by that. What specifically was wrong?

This is great I know it is difficult but you have done an excellent job you said you have only finished 40% but you could after some roughing the edges I believe call this 100% unless you want to change more

And last I have seen many fan edits of TROS No Palpatine, anti cringe, Ascendent, and many more but yours is the best easily because it make a bad unwatchable movie to a good entertaining movie

Thanks again for the review! Very helpful. Yes, I would barely even say this is halfway done and a lot will change before final release next year. Working on other projects in the meantime but I’ll loop back here eventually. Glad you enjoyed, may the force be with you!

Ryan_ said:

Can I have a link? This sounds interesting and I would love to watch this movie and pass off tips.

Sent!

EddieDean said:

This is a really exciting project. I love that you’re hitting the vast majority of the story beats. Other than trimming Boba’s ascent to power, what would you say are your most major cut subplots? (I appreciate you have changelogs but it’s hard to work that out from a process of elimination!)

Thanks for the support! I haven’t even watched my own films all the way through in one sitting yet, so I might make some further changes in the coming weeks but this has been a really fun and refreshing project.

The main cuts I made to BoBF are:

• No exposition dump scenes with Fennec describing everything. I found nearly every scene of these info dumps to be incredibly dull and do nothing to move the plot or provide any needed context.
• No Boba sitting on throne having conversations scenes. Accepting gift after gift, cracking jokes, talking to random farmers about the “troublesome youths”, the mayor’s secretary doing his pony show etc. These are all so slow and again, do nothing to advance the conflict against the Pykes. It’s just people doubting Boba and treating him as a chill dude instead of one of the most intimidating men in the galaxy.
• No mod gang recruitment, no gamorrean recruitment, no Twin Hutts, no Wookie night attack. I did show Kranstan getting recruited as that directly precedes the meeting with all the crime lords so I felt this one helped beef up Boba’s influence and it didn’t seem like he was recruiting for his 10 person gang, it’s more like Kranstan knows who Boba is and joins out of respect.
• No Rancor delivery/petting scenes. The revelation of Boba’s rancor is much more surprising now, and as I’ve made Boba already an established crime lord, we are now sitting in expectation for “when is the rancor going to show?”
• No Grogu on Tatooine

Those are the main ones I can remember! Keeping things focused on the growing Pyke invasion and getting Din and Boba reunited is a clear driving force.

bram222 said:

good work with chapter 2, didn’t like what they did to boba fett but you made it more entertaining to watch. It was some getting used to switching from show to show. But the chronology is nice.

I agree on the lizard. Felt weird “why is he getting a lizard”. Fennec being fixed was fine, as boba explained it to her.

Exited for next chapters.

Thanks! Yeah, this one is structured the most uniquely as the stories intertwine in an odd way chronologically. How I viewed it, as my project is essentially trying to create “The Mandalorian Bible”, is that many books of the Bible were written by different authors and have totally different literary mechanisms. So I’m fine with this Chapter being structured differently than my other films in the series as that is reflective of the Bible as a whole.

Regarding the lizard, I viewed it simply as the Tuskens’ tradition. They gift you a lizard and you get splashed with hallucinogenic sand, that’s how they culturally show their admiration for your work. I don’t see any significance to the lizard that creates any plot expectation for it. But you are the second person who has mentioned it feeling odd, so maybe I am viewing it differently. If someone else gets the wrong vibe from it too then I’ll look into changing it, but I don’t see a problem from where I sit now. Thanks for the feedback!

One more announcement here: I’m renaming this project from The Book of Mandalore to The Way of Mandalore. Calling it “The Book” and using the films as “Chapters” didn’t really make sense with my “Mandalorian Bible” theme. It’s not “The Book of the Holy Bible”, it’s “The Holy Bible” with books… So renaming to “The Way” gives more credence to this “Holy Book” theme while also getting in that awesome phrase that has such great significance to the show. So it’s The Way of Mandalore and each film is a different “book” in that compilation of texts. I’ll be working on making a new logo for it that will replace the regular The Mandalorian logo in my films.

Thanks for following, and I’d appreciate more reviews if anyone has time! Will be rendering v2’s/3’s through the rest of the month.

(Links sent out to everyone who asked above)

SpenceEdit said:

I’m trying out something for that musical transition in the duel.

(sidenote: There will likely be a V3 of this, but with less major changes. So I won’t release that until I’m 100% confident in what I have. I would like for V3 to be the last version.)

The problem with this is that the first part of the duel takes place away from the rocky area, then it cuts to Reva on Tattooine, then back to the duel where they are now in the rocky area. So removing the Reva scene kind of eliminates a smooth and sensible transition to the rocky area.

My goal so far has been to have the motion of the scene basically fool you into thinking they’ve naturally moved into the rocky area, but the audio transition has been incredibly difficult to get right, and it’s not been entirely successful.

So I tried something a bit different. I did end up cutting a bit more of the duel, but the major element missing is just Kenobi rolling around on the ground, so no great loss. I think extended the audio through until it goes silent on a major beat in the action, then kicks back in when Kenobi tries to knock the large rock onto Vader. I think this works a lot smoother than what I’ve had so far. Please take a look and let me know what you think!

FIXED

EDIT: It’s fixed!

Hal 9000 said:

To anyone who removes Bail showing up in person on Tatooine, instead going right from their holo-call to Kenobi digging up the sabers, I have a question: How do you suppose he knew which planet to go to?

The edit I’m toying with (~40 minutes complete) has a much more Legends-esque Obi instead of the new presentation of him where he has to re-learn the force. So when Bail calls, he only hesitates for a moment thinking of Luke, before then going to head out on the mission he has been waiting for for so long. It is clear in my cut that the audience does not see the entire holo-call start to finish, so there’s room for Bail telling Obi offscreen that they’re tracking a ship. The viewer puts the pieces together when Obi lands on Daiyu and tells the official he is tracking a ship. At least to me it seemed very simple to make that connection, but I’ll show some demos soon to see how others feel.

Awesome, very unique idea. Will definitely check out your film tomorrow.

Check out those prediction skills ^^^ I nailed it down to the exact day!

So I did begin on this project again, which mostly consisted of getting reacquainted with my project files as it’s been ~6 months since I last worked on this. If you look back, I had decided to edit an “Episode 0”/Prologue episode using TBB episodes from TCW to help bring consistency to my new presentation of the characters. I did get some work done on this prologue today and am probably ~20% done that, which I estimate will be around 60 minutes long.

I’m not gonna beat around he bush here, the Episode 0 is rather boring. The best part of those TCW episodes in my opinion was the content surrounding the Jedi, so with that stripped away it’s just some pretty generic action scenes for an hour. It’s not great in the storytelling and there’s no way to make it be, but I do think it’s important to reframe our view of these characters for my full TBB edit where I am planning on making a better storyline overall.

As I just put in a full month of editing nonstop with the Mando project (and I’ll still have some updates to make to that), I’m not in any huge rush to complete this. My goal is to have this done a week or two before TBB Season 2 releases in late September so that anyone who wants to start watching that can catch up with this edit.

Change log is fully updated on Chapter 5, which is now rendered and uploaded! I’m sure I’ll need to go through most of these Chapters again for v2’s/3’s after some more feedback rolls in, but this project is officially released now!

Thanks to everyone who helped me work through the ideas. I am very happy with the presentation of this story and will be watching them all with my wife here soon. The Mandalorian is a fantastic addition to Star Wars and my hope is that watching these edits will highlight the absolute best story possible and bring you new joy when you watch.

Hello, I will DM both of you! This thread doesn’t really need to exist though, as you can ask directly on their respective threads found in my signature here or if I happen to be away for some time, on the general request thread here: https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Star-Wars-Fan-Edits-Request-Thread-Request-the-links-to-Star-Wars-fan-edits-here/id/65546/page/7#1490146

So I’ve got a working draft of Chapter 5 that is looking pretty good right now. I was able to sort through everything in Book of Boba and reorder it all into a brand new, focused narrative that clocks in at 2 hours 25 minutes. I’ll be updating the change log today, but here’s a few of the major changes:

• Boba is already an established Daimyo on Tatooine who has earned respect and fear simply for who he is. No more slowly building a gang of 10 people over 3 hours of storyline, no more everyone treating him like a joke, no more confused Boba trying to learn how to rule. This is a crime lord Boba that we would have expected to see, and this is established from the get go by using the ending scene of the D+ show with him walking the streets as one of our opening scenes. We can assume it’s been some time since Chapter 4 ended, maybe a few months. Enough time for Boba to take over Jabba’s forces and start to bring the local cities in line, but we enter the story as Boba is continuing to expand his rule instead of just beginning it.
• The main Tatooine conflict is 100% focused on the Pyke invasion. Though I thought the Twins and the Hutt cartel would have been a much better antagonist overall, they just bounce out of the story so suddenly that I don’t even see a point in including them whatsoever. The entire story is now reordered and refocused on the Mayor betraying Boba and defecting to the invading Pyke forces. The purpose of the whole conflict is thematically centered on foreshadowing Din and Boba as our Mandalorian “Messiahs”. I am hopeful that Mando S3 will continue this storyline next year!
• The three-act structure of this film goes a bit like this:

1. Act 1 is essentially a “what have our Mandalorians been up to” since the end of S2. We see quite the contrast of their lives since the conclusion with Moff Gideon and Luke. We are cutting back and forth between their two lives, slowly building up the coming conflict on Tatooine.
2. Act 2 is the escalation of tension on Tatooine. The prelude to the upcoming battle. A lot of the drama with the Mayor betraying Boba is presented here. This is getting Din to Tatooine, having him recruit allies etc.
3. This is the battle on Tatooine. There is a lot of content here that carries nearly the whole 3rd Act.
4. (Epilogue) After the Tatooine conclusion we go back to Mando and Grogu reuniting as we now have the setup for Mando S3.

I’ll go into full details on the change log now and you’ll get a much better picture of the plot there. But I should have a v1 ready to send out tomorrow!

bram222 said:

from what I’ve seen from chapter 1, looks nice. really like the idea to go the heist after the farm world and skipping the jawa subplot. I’m exited for your upcoming work. love a link for chapter 2,3,4,5

Thanks! I think that order of plot turned out really well too. Chapters 1 & 2 are fun watches since they are fresh takes on the story structure, but I think Chapters 3/4 are my favorites with how I was able to touch those up and retell some aspects. I’ll send you some links!

I haven’t updated the change list or written about it yet, but I’ve made a ton of progress on Chapter 5 and have a brand new story order that I think really helps form a coherent plot out of the messy Boba season. It feels very much in line with my previous work and I’m excited to share more soon. I’m aiming for a release of that sometime next week and will start writing out after the US holiday!

Peonthegrate said:

I’m planning on hopefully rewatching chapter 2 over the weekend.

Oh, thanks! I’m rendering a quick fix edit right now to send you instead.

But from what I remember there were a few small things I thought could of potentially worked better.

1.in the scene where Fett is gifted the Lizard, his first line of the scene is “you are warriors.”
I remember feeling like the scene would of played out better without that starting line as it felt like the scene started in the middle of a conversation.

On a review of the scene I also agree. I changed up the scene order here so we don’t have that line anymore.

Also, though the lizard scene in the D+ version is maybe a little silly. I remember something about the edits take on the whole removal of the lizard felt off. Felt like something was missing. I feel either you could try removing the lizard entirely, or making the lizard come out of his nose like in the original.

I’m not entirely seeing what you are here, but I did alter how the sand was thrown at Boba’s face a bit which might help take some focus off the lizard? I don’t see any reason to think something is missing by not having the lizard come out of his nose since it is no way hinted that it goes in in the first place. But let me know if you have some idea if it still feels off.

I also remember thinking that whenever Boba saves Fennec, that while I never liked the mods scene in the original where they repair her. I think it felt a little odd not seeing any if that in this edit. Perhaps you could show bobba taking her to the modshop but cutting the scene as he enters? Idk I’m just spitballing here, that may not look good in practice.

The problem with the modshop scene as a whole was the massive, unfixable continuity error when they filmed it. This scene takes place in the middle of the night, supposedly right after we see Boba walk up to her in the Mandalorian episode. However, in that same Mandalorian episode, Din comes across Fennec’s body in the morning-afternoon when the suns are bright and shining! So the timeline presented to the viewer is that either Boba waited over 24 hours until the following night to heal Fennec, leaving us with massive questions about why Boba waited so long & how Fennec survived that wound for over a full day bleeding out and cooking in the suns, or that Boba took her to the shop the same night and then placed her still unconscious body back in the sand during the daytime for Din to find in order to trick him…? Neither of those options make sense when you watch a chronological edit, and I truly think the director meant to film that scene as if it happened the same night of the original battle, but forgot about the scene in the Mandalorian where Din finds her body in the daytime.

I also extended the first flashback sequence with additional Kamino footage that I forgot about the first time around.

I think thats about it. Though I could be forgetting something, and I plan on watching it again in a few days hopefully. Overall loved this chapter especially.

Wonderful, this is just a quick fix edit I’m sending out now and will render a full fledged v2 if needed next week.

Ok, it’s been implemented and I also went back to start unifying the intro/credits of each film. Chapter 1 v2 is rendering now and I can send out links in a couple hours. Were you able to recall any other feedback from Chapter 2 that you think would help improve it?

Ok got a little bit of time to dive into Chapter 1 again for another version of those scenes. Here is the village lodging requests with a few changes, notably in slowing down some of the pacing you mentioned, as well as reorganizing/re-timing some of the conversation on the cart again.

https://streamable.com/xrc567

And here is a new montage of the time at the village! I think this one fits a lot more as we don’t have the building of barricades and as much of the “preparing for battle” feeling. Now it’s more peaceful, showing Mando just walking around doing his thing, sharing his “religion” (weapons) with the people, and even hinting at a bit of a love triangle! Let me know if this feels better to you.

https://streamable.com/6l9dbu

If this looks good I think I’m ready to render the v2 of Chapter 1 here and send it out to everyone who has been asking in DMs. Thanks for the support!

New sewer sequence is definitely the best one yet! I’d actually be happy with this version being the edit version.

Anjohan said:

Also, here’s the projects wonderful posters made by none other than ArtisDead. This guy’s on another level. To not cludder the thread with too many pictures, I’ll leave my favorite and link to the rest:

https://forums.fanedit.org/attachments/andob2b-jpg.2007/

https://forums.fanedit.org/attachments/andob5b-jpg.2009/

https://forums.fanedit.org/attachments/andob4b-jpg.2010/

This was from a while ago, but the links don’t work for me. Any chance you could post those in a way that is viewable? Would love to appreciate this person’s art!

Just dropping in to say how incredible your work here is. This is truly next-gen fan editing and you are on the forefront! Greatly inspires me to keep learning and improving on my own skills.

I’m happy with the direction things are going here, no further feedback from me at this point. I think it’s very close and just in the finishing touches stage.

Definitely interested in this and would enjoy seeing it when you get a chance to send a link. Thanks!

Update on the project:

I am still currently deep in progress on Chapter 5, but have hit a bit of a wall there with how much there is to do. I am trying to reconceptualize the whole plot with that content and I predict quite a lengthy project time compared to how I was able to complete the first 4 Chapters. So, what I’m going to do now is go back through Chapters 1-4 in the meantime to tidy up any bugs and implement a couple changes. As not many people have even watched past Chapter 2 yet, I feel like I have plenty of time to get back to finishing Chapter 5 long before everyone gets too anxious to see it.

Peonthegrate said:

Alright, back to the feedback on the clips of Episode 1:

Like I think I said earlier, the Mudhorn scene works a lot better now. I don’t think I got any real complaints there.

I’m pretty happy with this too, I think I’ll soft lock it in for now.

For “Villager lodging fix2” I think this works much better also. I’m unsure if this can be fixed, but the only semi-complaint I have here now is the last 20 seconds or so feel a bit sudden/rushed maybe. Basically everything after Mando says “I need one more thing.” Though part of me like how it feels fast. I’m unsure.

Now for the “Villager Job” I think this is better than what was previous done. Though part of me still feels a little off about it, but this may be because I’m used to the Disney+ version. I’m not much of a editor/film maker, so this may sound terrible in practice, but part of me is curious what the montage may sound like with the music but also with some background sound effects that were originally present.

That may not work for a montage type feel that you’re going for though.
I feel like it’s also slightly strange that we see them putting up walls and training and such during the montage, but never see anything come from it if that makes sense. I’m afraid it may feel slightly underwhelming seeing Mando train the village, only for that to be the end of that. Sort of like a lot of build up, with little pay off I’m worried about. This may come across differently though while watching the edit as a whole and not just a 1 minute clip.

I’m curious from a hypothetical standpoint if it may be worth trying to incorporate the raiders in some way, while cutting down a lot of it. Though that may be an avenue not worth exploring.

I do feel like I need to just watch this whole 30 minute segment uninterrupted now with the changes to get a sense of how the pieces are fitting together here, so I’ll get back to you on this. I am definitely onto something with this idea, I just need to make sure there’s nothing distracting in it.

EDIT: Also out of curiosity, will you be using the deep fake for Luke at the end of episode 4 by Shamook?

Yes! Already implemented in my Chapter 4 release

NFBisms said:

This is something I put together in the other Kenobi redux thread, just in case it could be relevant to this project in some way:

NFBisms said:

I was one of those suckers who was actually really excited for Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022) because Deborah Chow and Kelley DIxon’s work on Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad fuckin’ rule. Needless to say, that was a bit misguided.

So I took a crack at editing the show to be closer in tone and style to what I expected out of BB-verse alumni.

I don’t think I’m going to do the whole show, but it was just a fun little experiment. The edit isn’t supposed to be like BB/BCS fwiw, just approaching the material with some of the storytelling philosophy I learned from them.

At the very least, Deborah Chow’s sensibilities as a director were still conducive to being arranged in this way so at least some of my excitement wasn’t unfounded

Wow! This was absolutely incredible! I would love to see this included in Anjohan’s film if he likes it and it works with his cut. Amazing editing

Anjohan, in regards to the new rescue clips, the main thing that threw me off was the immediate transition to underwater, are there any other shots you could use to bridge the gap? Even something as simple as Obi walking down an alley or something that could make it seem like he is accessing the sewers

revel911 said:

Anjohan said:

Octorox said:

GLogus said:

Anjohan said:
I hope the removal of the lines “I killed Anakin Skywalker” and “Then my friend is truly dead” will help clarify to the audience that Obi-Wan still sees his friend in there and that killing him is just not in his heart. Thank you for a great assesment of the problem.

You’re gutting the whole series of its emotional climax! Too many faneditors get so caught up in their desire to preserve canon and continuity that they will sacrifice important thematic elements of a story. This whole series is about Obi-wan being haunted by his sense of guilt over Anakin and then finally being released from that guilt. It was a powerful moment of catharsis truly unrivaled by the rest of the series. An editor’s first priority should be helping a good story come to the fore. I also think a good fanedit works with the original vision of the media, not against it. You are trying to fix something that ostensibly breaks the OT, but I assure you, you cannot make the OT one bit better or worse with this edit; you can only improve the material that you’re working with.

I agree with this, and honestly I don’t see him not finishing Vader off as an issue. Sure, he recognizes that Anakin is gone, but recognizing it is one thing, and striking the killing blow himself is another. He couldn’t do it on Mustafar, and I think he still couldn’t do it here.

Well, I agree. I always did. But it still is an issue for most.

However, perhaps I should just re-insert the two lines - or just the “I killed Anakin Skywalker” and call it quits. The halfway point.

I don’t see it as a game changer either way. Episode 6 works almost as is (without Reeva).

To me, that’s the best it both. From Vader’s pov … Anakin is dead, but that doesn’t mean Obi feels the same. This will Be perfect.

Yes! I 100% agree with this too. Anakin can say that about himself, but Obi-wan doesn’t have to believe it.

I salute you on your efforts, thanks for the update post! Can’t wait to see the finished product.

I am in full support of everything in your latest update.

Anjohan said:

What about Obi-Wan not killing Anakin?

Well, as I’ve now answered the point about Qui-Gon, I always interpreted this scene that Obi-Wan felt he had inflicted enough damage on his old friend. I never once questioned why he left him like he did on Mustafar, but having heard you guys debate it over and over again have made me wonder if this is a huge problem for most? If so, I’m open to more ideas…

This is the last thing that does bug me a bit. Here’s my suggestion… Save the end of Obi-Wan & Anakin’s fight from “AotC” for the end of the final fight between Obi-Wan & Vader in Episode 6. Instead of Obi-Wan saying “Then my friend is truly dead,” (this is the line that confuses me, because if that statement were true, then why would you not kill him here to protect Luke and Leia?) and instead have Obi-Wan complete his reflection on their duel as student & master. This way it comes across as trying to teach Vader the lesson he tried to teach Anakin long ago instead of a strange contradiction of his words and actions, and it brings a conclusion to the flashbacks we saw in the Episode 5 content. To compliment this change, also change the end of the Episode 3 duel by having Vader say his “The years have made you weak” line as Obi-Wan is rescued by the robot, further showing that Vader didn’t want to fight a weakling Obi-Wan.

Now, at the end of the series with these changes, Vader & Obi-Wan’s relationship has developed into something more complicated & co-dependent. Vader won’t kill Ben because he wants to fight him at his best, & Ben won’t kill Vader because he still considers Anakin his friend, he wants him to grow & gain the wisdom that Ben knows he’s capable of learning.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi: A Star Wars Story” or “Obi-Wan Kenobi?”

“Kenobi”

Peonthegrate said:

I’ll look at these again hopefully later today. I checked them out yesterday and they were all improvements especially the mudhorn. Ill get back to you though with more details.

Thanks, I appreciate it!

I’ll also hopefully give my thoughts about chapter 2 as I saw that a few days ago and absolutely loved it.
I’m especially intrigued about how you handle the books of bobba fett in Chapter 5. As chapter 2 was outstanding I thought.

Wow, that’s good news actually. I was most concerned about Chapter 2 feeling “off” in some way compared to the others, but it’s good to hear that the overall idea panned out.

I’ll get back to you though about notes of chapter 2 as there’s was a few relatively small issues I had. But again. Overall thought chapter 2 was fantastic, and loved the way the story was presented.

Yeah, a review like the last one would be super helpful. Once I finish up those changes on Chapter 1 and read your notes on Chapter 2 I’ll probably touch those up and re-release before finishing Chapter 5.

Speaking of, this is a hard one to make! How I’m approaching it is that I’m just organizing all scenes into something chronological that makes sense between the Boba/Din stories. Then I’m going through every single scene to cut it into the best version of itself, but then I still have to take the film as a whole and figure out the most compelling cut with all of the scenes. There is a lot of extra footage in this Chapter. Even edited down a good deal (change log is waaaay behind), my original cut without trimming the fat is still over 3 hours so I have some brainstorming to do. There’s a silly amount of Boba “building his empire” content that I think will help do the trick when I remove as my initial plan is to present Boba as already being relatively established as Daimyo compared to the D+ version.

Looking forward to hearing your take, Anjohan!

I won’t beat a dead horse with my overall disappointment in the production of this show as a whole, so for me this finale was as expected after seeing the rest of the show. There wasn’t anything overly unique or deep, plenty of plot holes to complain about, but if you touch up the key elements I think the “cool” moments can be better brought to life.

The main things I would recommend to change in the finale are:

• Somehow fix the logic of the star destroyer chasing the frigate/obi wan’s escape shuttle. The whole pursuit really threw me off from the get go. Why can’t they use a tractor beam like on the Tantive IV? If they can’t, why not deploy fighters? Why does the entire star destroyer have to pursue Obi-wan instead of just vader’s shuttle? I would truncate as much of this nonsense as possible to keep it focused on a sensible pursuit of Obi-wan.

• I don’t see any value to the conclusion of the Reva storyline. I realize D+ is trying to set her up for a future appearance in another show, but man I think the best conclusion to her story in movie is for her to die on Jabiim last episode. Let her show the folly of dedicating your life to revenge. Owen fighting her off with a metal moisturizer pole was beyond absurd, and every cut away from Vader-Obi to the Reva farm ridiculousness was killing the vibe in a major way. Also the way Obi-wan fights Vader and then instantly teleports to Owen’s farm within minutes was painful. If you don’t even include that entire farm sequence and present his journey back to Tatooine as some time going by before his moment with Luke I think that’s the move.

There’s a lot more I could say but I’m more interested in hearing your review and vision for the content!

First off, Chapter 4 is released! See the updated change log and let me know if you want to watch it. I’ve just started on Chapter 5.

Peonthegrate said:

Wow, definitely much better on the Blurg. No real complaints there I think.

Good, I’m happy with the new transition and will finalize that.

The Mudhorn scene is better for sure, I feel like there’s a few pieces still missing. Mainly with the audio, I feel like the Mudhorn should be making some more noise around the 35 second mark based off of its movements.

• The first time the Mudhorn attacks and knocks over Din feels maybe a bit too abrupt/sudden. That may be unfixable due to the footage available.
  And at around the 1:00 mark there’s virtually no ambient sound coming from the environment or the Mudhorn when he smashes into the wall.

I wonder if it’s better to take an entirely different approach to this encounter seeing as there isn’t much establishing footage. My next idea would be for Mando to still enter the cave, but edit it as to not seem like he is intentionally going in there looking for something, but more that it’s just an inconvenient geographical obstacle in his way back on foot without a Blurg. (Hence the reason Kuiil said it was impossible to travel through that land without a Blurg mount)

Should I improve upon that first video above or rock with this cave idea?

https://streamable.com/5lycic

The lodging scene is definitely better as well. I still think it seems a bit odd that the two men seem interested in Mando solely because he’s a Mando which they find interesting I guess. And willfully allow him and Cara to stay without any mention of them being there to protect them or any reason they may want them there in the first place.
though , again this may be difficult to fully flesh out with the footage available. I like the scene of Mando giving Cara the credits much more now also. However it seems weird again to me that he’s paying her to come along for seemingly little reason.
Plus he says “ready for round two” which makes it seem there will be a fight ahead, that never comes.

Ok, I’m taking another crack at this idea a bit too. What I have changed is that now we only hear the farmers talk about having a job but that “We didn’t even tell you what it is yet”, however Mando is interested as soon as he learns about the isolated area. He now does not pay Gina to come as protection, but brings her along generally as a favor as she is looking for refuge too. The pay off in this “job” they do is shown a few minutes later. They now generally help out the village with defensive structures, blaster training, plus Mando gets some more time to bond with the nice lady. Also, in the next scene when Gina references how they’ve been there a few weeks we now have some idea as to what they’ve been up to.

Villager request: https://streamable.com/81371t

Villager job: https://streamable.com/xudy1e