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szopman

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27-Dec-2019
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28-Nov-2023
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Post
#1565987
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

smudger9 said:

Devils_Cabana_Boy said:

Hope the edit is ticking along nicely… Looking forward to seeing what you’re able to do with this one!

Almost there with the second cut. Just the last 15mins to finish off. The audio is complete too. Currently clocking in at 2h 57.

Acts 1 and 3 flow really well and are pretty final. The middle act is where changes may occur. I’m not 100% happy with removal of all New Republic elements on Seatos and how much of the WBW elements I’ve included.
I should get the cut finished this week and view it over the weekend. I’ll send a link to anyone interested in checking out the full current cut. I’ll also post a changelog… which will be vast!

I’m sure it’s perfect! 😉 the more WBW stuff and the less NR, the better 😄

Post
#1564323
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

smudger9 said:

szopman said:

This idea may sound crazy to some of you but, maybe add the part of dialogue between Ahsoka and Anakin from “Rebels” during the Lucas film/A long time ago… sequence? Like the clone troopers that could be heard in the theatrical TCW movie during the Lucas film/A long time ago … sequence.

That is what I was thinking…… Anakin/Vader dialogue from Rebels and visuals from Rogue One or Kenobi.

Oh, actually it’s a good idea as well. I would definitely be interested to see something like that.

Also, I think that if you were to restructure it and add some flashbacks before, then the flashback from Ryloth could work well as a separate flashback/vision (ending with the silhouette of Vader), as it’s the only “past” part where we don’t see that clearly that it is the adult Ahsoka in her teenage body.

Post
#1564296
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

smudger9 said:

Here is my edited flashback sequence. Lots of trimming here meaning I’ve got it down to 13mins with Huyang being the one that rescues her.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Y4YuxylIKTCKHZJPsW8_0rF1omHsw33T

So, I checked it. The whole flashback/WbW sequence looks cool. I wasn’t able to spot where you trimmed it exactly (except one particular moment), so I’d say it looks seemeless. You managed to save the best part of the show almost intact 😉

I don’t wanna be a pain in the … but I think you shouldn’t have trimmed the moment when Anakin’s ghost goes back from “evil” to “good”. I saw you trimmed a bit the transition and I think it would be better if those few extra seconds stayed. it was a great little moment, the facial expressions of Hayden was perfect and in my opinion, for the millennials fans it had a huge emotional impact to see how his face changes from ROTS evil Anakin to the good Anakin Skywalker again. I know it may be silly, as we talk about 5-10 seconds, but for me it was something that I spot right away, I remember it was really a big deal for me when I watched this episode 😉

Nevertheless, in terms of editing and pacing - great job!

Post
#1563733
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

GLogus said:

smudger9 said:

Half way there with the second cut!

Here is the episode 4 segment. A lot of big and little cuts here… got the episode down to 19mins. Half was point clocking in at 1h 27 so I’m on target!

Let me know your thoughts.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EK1EjzPk0ZkD9x16xAGz4AsQmzrHNnzi

I hate to see so much of Episode 4 go as I think it was the most cinematic of all eight episodes. Episode 5 may have had the member berries, but 4 was the only one that was as good as the franchise deserves.

Besides, all you had to do was remove the shots where Ahsoka is folding her arms and smirking. That would easily get your cut down below 3 hrs.

I dare to disagree, I think he cut all the superfluous stuff (tho again, some pauses and dialogues could still be trimmed probably), but left the best from it ( I personally like he chose to keep the Inquisitor’s death, I think it was a nice nod to Nightsisters magic and Kurosawa movies).

I have one question regarding the fanedit - in the end it will be “Ahsoka - Episode I” or “New Republic - (…)”?

Also, regarding the title - did you consider using the last episode’s title “The Jedi, the Witch and the Warlord”? I just personally think it was a very cool title and it describes well the whole show 😄

Post
#1563568
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

Today I watched your cuts of episodes 3 and 4. Looks great, you cut a lot of superfluous stuff and you definitely improved the pacing a lot. It flows so much better now.

I personally would trim some dialogues even more, but it’s OK the way it is now 😉

Hope you won’t cut too much from the Anakin/Ahsoka encounter/flashbacks 😉

Looking forward to the final cut! 😉

Post
#1562786
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

idir_hh said:

What do you think of leaving out the scenes that have ashoka fighting her way back to paridea, that way you keep the suspense and anticipation of her return, maybe only keeping the shot of her calling to Sabine with the force as confirmation that she has arrived. So you would cut from her jumping to light speed until she comes to save the day pretty much. Which shaves a good bit for faster pacing.

It’s actually a very good idea

Post
#1561736
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

smudger9 said:

So I’ve completed the first cut and it’s clocking in at 3h10. This is a little too long, but I haven’t yet removed the New Republic plot from the middle act. That should save 5 to 10 mins. I’ve now gone back to tighten up act 1 and have managed to chip the running time down to 3h07, so I’m getting there and confident that I can bring this in at 2h55 or so.

In terms of the first act there are a couple of sequences that are crucial to the current structure that I wanted an opinion on. It uses AI dialogue to allow me to remove the Correlia and droid head scenes. It would be great to get feedback on

  1. Whether the AI voices are good enough.
  2. Whether the plot is good enough to get them from Lothal to Seatos without needing to use the droid head. I can put a much shortened droid head sequence back in if needed.

This is the medical bay sequence
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PUOxAdTMZyKWIRPqRqL35h70j2BUwXDL

This is the Ashoka/Sabine platform sequence
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1F0GJz6yXZYY6V1gUQ2HM_CAOtK3nPe4Z

It sounds great.
I listened to it twice on my earphones and it sounds really good. I didn’t spot anything off.

Tbh, in the first one (medical bay) I don’t even know where the AI voices were placed.

Post
#1561319
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

smudger9 said:

losthead said:

Out of curiosity, would it be possible to edit the Hera trial scene to be referring to the Corellia incident? That could allow us to cut Hera and Jacen out of Seatos, but still provide a conclusion for the New Republic arc in the show.

That would be straightforward to do, although I’m currently working on removing the New Republic plot completely.

This is the way! 😉

Post
#1560474
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

smudger9 said:

So last night I was working on removing Hera and the New Republic from Seatos. Here is a proof of concept for the sequence from Ahsoka being pulled from the water to her departing in the space whale. There will need to be alteration of Huyang’s dialogue and removing the Ghost from a couple of shots. Thoughts?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xTHdvaVItybDqsEHn8_BUZT3ahRPGEqG

You can check WitchDR’s work (Huyang’s saving Ahsoka) which he posted in Ahsoka Redux thread:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/16i210vISm-52HAErEJ3kfUyQcrJi8GDH/view

Post
#1560473
Topic
AHSOKA - A TWO-PART MINISERIES EDIT (Released)
Time

The way the opening is edited is beautiful. But, I think the opening crawl text is too long. Star Wars openings are never this long. Plusz a lot of those things is just repeating on detail what we saw in Part I.

I would truncate it a bit if I were you, like for ex:

"After facing a powerful Dark Jedi BAYLAN SKOLL,
a former Padawan AHSOKA TANO finds herself between life and death.
In consequence of this showdown, her apprentice SABINE WREN has been captured by the enemy.

GENERAL SYNDULLA, with the aid of courageous pilots decides to go against New Republic’s orders and
assist her friends on a unapproved mission.

The sinister Nightwich of Dathomir, MORGAN ELSBETH, has discovered a secret path leading to a distant galaxy.
The countdown has begun. THE EYE OF SION, an intergalactic vessel secretly developed by the remnants of the GALACTIC EMPIRE,
is on its way to PERIDEA, a legendary world far, far away…"

Post
#1560071
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

smudger9 said:

So last night I was working on removing Hera and the New Republic from Seatos. Here is a proof of concept for the sequence from Ahsoka being pulled from the water to her departing in the space whale. There will need to be alteration of Huyang’s dialogue and removing the Ghost from a couple of shots. Thoughts?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xTHdvaVItybDqsEHn8_BUZT3ahRPGEqG

Looks good, very promising 😉 In general, it works very well as it is. And the pacing is much better than in the series.

I’m not a skilled editor, but it seems that removing Ghost/Hera from those shots should be very doable.

Regarding Huyang saving Ahsoka - I’m not sure if someone posted it in this thread or in the Ahsoka Redux thread, but I think someone already worked on it 😉
Also, i think that if you just shorten the dialogue, the explanation is not really needed. I mean, the viewer would just simply assume the droid found her and saved her.

Post
#1559964
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

smudger9 said:

szopman said:

In my opinion, it’s better to keep as much as possible or the flashbacks and cut the whole Hera/NR subplot.

In the end, the NR subplot is just a filler, and it was one of the weakest points of the show. I guess most of fans didn’t enjoy it.

On the other hand, let’s be honest, people love the Anakin stuff, and those flashbacks were important I’m terms of the “Lesson” and Ahsoka’s character development. Also, if you take in consideration viewers/fans who never watched TCW, those flashbacks add a lot in terms of Ahsoka/Anakin story. I understand that for the sake of a coherent, well paced 3h movie you have to trim stuff, but I in my opinion you should keep this flashback stuff, as much as possible.

And again, Hera/NR stuff was really weak and in the end turned out to be a useless filler.

EDIT
I’d be happy to watch the rough cut of this 😉 I ll have to spend 2h in a train tomorrow anyway 😉

Yeah the Clone Wars stuff was one of the best parts of the show. I think I’ll stick with my current edit of those. I’ve shortened the scenes as much as I can whilst maintaining the story.

The New Republic stuff is a really difficult one. I agree that it’s a relatively weak part of the show. However, without some elements of it there isn’t anything to plug a couple of time gaps in the Seatos story. That’s fine with a TV show, but with a movie it’s obvious that something is missing. And there is the issue with Ahsoka’s exit from Seatos. I’ll render the rough second act and send you a link.

Maybe you could intercut some parts of 1x06 to fill those gaps?

And regarding the NR stuff, it’s not only that it was weak (although it is). The whole subplot was basically a filler that doesn’t add anything really to the story.
If you have to sacrifice some stuff, that’s the first thing you should cut (as long as it’s doable, of course) 😉

Post
#1559950
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

In my opinion, it’s better to keep as much as possible or the flashbacks and cut the whole Hera/NR subplot.

In the end, the NR subplot is just a filler, and it was one of the weakest points of the show. I guess most of fans didn’t enjoy it.

On the other hand, let’s be honest, people love the Anakin stuff, and those flashbacks were important I’m terms of the “Lesson” and Ahsoka’s character development. Also, if you take in consideration viewers/fans who never watched TCW, those flashbacks add a lot in terms of Ahsoka/Anakin story. I understand that for the sake of a coherent, well paced 3h movie you have to trim stuff, but I in my opinion you should keep this flashback stuff, as much as possible.

And again, Hera/NR stuff was really weak and in the end turned out to be a useless filler.

EDIT
I’d be happy to watch the rough cut of this 😉 I ll have to spend 2h in a train tomorrow anyway 😉

Post
#1555745
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

DZ-330 said:

You could start the movie halfway through episode 3 when Ahsoka and Sabine drop out of hyperspace near the planet where Morgan is at with the map. Here is a crawl that could work, also better explaining the state of things so Rebels won’t be as much of a requirement:


It has been years since the heroic Jedi Padawan, Ezra Bridger, and the menacing IMPERIAL GRAND ADMIRAL THRAWN went missing during the Battle of Lothal. During their exile, the EVIL GALACTIC EMPIRE has fallen, but rumors are now spreading of Thrawn’s return, which would galvanize the IMPERIAL REMNANTS and reignite war throughout the galaxy.

Sinister agents have infiltrated the new fragile government and are already at work to undermine the newfound peace. Failing to convince the NEW REPUBLIC to act, AHSOKA TANO, former Jedi Apprentice of Anakin Skywalker, has taken it upon herself to investigate this emerging threat.

Forming an uneasy alliance, Ahoska has recruited a former student and friend of Ezra, Sabine Wren, to assist in her quest. They have tracked the location of a recently escaped prisoner, MORGAN ELSBETH, who is in possession of a secret map which is vital to the enemy’s plan…

It is way too long for a Star Wars crawl. Usually they are shorter and more concise.

Post
#1555728
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

DZ-330 said:

Is there any reason the “movie” couldn’t just start with Episode 3 and the opening crawl updated to state that Ahsoka and Sabine are en route to stop villians who broke Morgan out of jail and have a map to Thrawn?

Think of it as:

  • ACT 1: Recovering the map and failing
  • ACT 2: Interconnect Ahsoka and Anakin with Sabine/Thrawn/Ezra
  • ACT 3: What’s to come, TBD

As much as I loved the introduction of Baylon and Shin, I agree that this is probably the best way to start the film.

Then, maybe the Baylon/Shin scene could be some kind of poat-credit cliff-hanger scene for a previous film.

Post
#1555598
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

smudger9 said:

Yes, it was a rather meaty episode. For the sake of my edit I was hoping for lots of filler. Not a huge amount that can be cut on first viewing, but that often changes on subsequent viewings. One thing I will say is that this series feels the most cinematic of the D+ shows.

I guess I could cut more by weaving it into episode 5 but it is going to be very difficult to cut this season down to 3h.

Maybe the 7th episode will offer us some more fillers. I feel it in my bones that the next episode will be New Republic-centered.

If you cannot cut it down to 3h, well, c’est la vie 😉 As long as it’s a good, quality content and a coherent, well-paced story, it doesn’t matter if it’s 2.5h or 3.5h 😉

Post
#1555478
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

I guess the problem with the episode 6 will be that there is not that much to cut, it was actually a great episode.
I think the reveal of Ezra was fine, they executed it pretty well.

I guess it may be a very problematic episode because it’s +40min long and there is not much to cut.
The opening scene with Ahsoka could be easily cut, some trims here and there, you could cut the scene where Sabine is given the “horse” and her weapons back, but that’s it.
In general, a very good chapter, a bit slower but not boring/badly-paced. Very climatic I’d say. And there is some great performance of Ray Stevenson there.

Post
#1555398
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

If you want an EU title that would be a nod to Thrawn novels, maybe “Dark Force Rising” ? 😉

But “A Thread from Beyond” sounds pretty good 😉

And btw. I like the “New Republic” idea.

Do you think you’d consider releasing versions without “Episode …” in the crawl for people who for ex. would watch only Ahsoka but skip Mando, or vice versa?

Post
#1555364
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

szopman said:

So, I could watch only the first ~40min.
Unfortunately I probably won’t be able to watch the rest until the weekend.

Nevertheless, I wanted to share some insights:
-above all, I love how you edited the fight between Sabine and Shin. Now its way better, Sabine still got injured but she doesn’t get impaled with the lightsaber. Once again you proved what a skillfull and creative editor you are! 😉 Great job!
-overall, I’m happy with all the unnecessary stuff you cut. Tho I still believe that almost everything from those two eps could be cut 😄

I also wanted to comment the opening crawl and the title.
-I think that the white “Ahsoka” logo doesn’t compose well with the rest of the crawl. Maybe it would be possible to make it yellow, as the rest of the crawl? Alternatively, you could just name Star Wars: Heir to the Empire.
-btw, talking about the title, I don’t mind it, but it’s very probable that Dave Filoni’s movie will end up being titled “Heir to the Empire”. So maybe it’d be good to find some alternative title.
-Also, since you will probably end up with only one movie for “Ahsoka”, and considering the fact that this is a limited series, with no plans for s02 (for now at least), maybe it would make more sense to skip “Episode I” part for now? Again, it could be just “Star Wars - Ahsoka - HTTE” or “Star Wars - HTTE”.

Tbh I think the original “Ahsoka” crawl wasn’t bad, maybe you’d reconsider using it? Or just to modify it/create a similar one instead of the classic SW yellow one?

And regarding your previous answer to my post, I think that you are right that story-wise those episodes make a good first act (especially if you aim to create a coherent, 3-act movie).
Tho entertainment-wise, those episodes would be out xD

I guess 2nd and 3rd acts will be more tricky, as the episodes 4 and 5, although far from perfect, have a lot of cool content that are the kind of entertainment that the SW fans love. I’m wondering if it’s even possible to reduce them to less than 50-55min (the robots fight, Baylan vs Ahsoka, Baylan/Sabine, Anakin stuff, Ahsoka the white reborn, the whole space whales stuff).

I’m very curious to see how it all will end up (both the show and your movie edit)! 😉

One last loose thought - since it’s Ahsoka’s story and it’s basically the TCW/Rebels live action sequel, maybe this time you could use the end credits music from TCW instead of the classic one from the movies ?

Sorry for double post, dont know how to merge them 😭

Post
#1555363
Topic
Smudger9's Ahsoka Movie Series: EP1: A Threat From Beyond [WIP]
Time

So, I could watch only the first ~40min.
Unfortunately I probably won’t be able to watch the rest until the weekend.

Nevertheless, I wanted to share some insights:
-above all, I love how you edited the fight between Sabine and Shin. Now its way better, Sabine still got injured but she doesn’t get impaled with the lightsaber. Once again you proved what a skillfull and creative editor you are! 😉 Great job!
-overall, I’m happy with all the unnecessary stuff you cut. Tho I still believe that almost everything from those two eps could be cut 😄

I also wanted to comment the opening crawl and the title.
-I think that the white “Ahsoka” logo doesn’t compose well with the rest of the crawl. Maybe it would be possible to make it yellow, as the rest of the crawl? Alternatively, you could just name Star Wars: Heir to the Empire.
-btw, talking about the title, I don’t mind it, but it’s very probable that Dave Filoni’s movie will end up being titled “Heir to the Empire”. So maybe it’d be good to find some alternative title.
-Also, since you will probably end up with only one movie for “Ahsoka”, and considering the fact that this is a limited series, with no plans for s02 (for now at least), maybe it would make more sense to skip “Episode I” part for now? Again, it could be just “Star Wars - Ahsoka - HTTE” or “Star Wars - HTTE”.

Tbh I think the original “Ahsoka” crawl wasn’t bad, maybe you’d reconsider using it? Or just to modify it/create a similar one instead of the classic SW yellow one?

And regarding your previous answer to my post, I think that you are right that story-wise those episodes make a good first act (especially if you aim to create a coherent, 3-act movie).
Tho entertainment-wise, those episodes would be out xD

I guess 2nd and 3rd acts will be more tricky, as the episodes 4 and 5, although far from perfect, have a lot of cool content that are the kind of entertainment that the SW fans love. I’m wondering if it’s even possible to reduce them to less than 50-55min (the robots fight, Baylan vs Ahsoka, Baylan/Sabine, Anakin stuff, Ahsoka the white reborn, the whole space whales stuff).

I’m very curious to see how it all will end up (both the show and your movie edit) 😉