szopman

Hello there! 🙌

I’d like to present you my new fanedits project:

Dragon Ball: The Notorious Mercenary, Tao Pai Pai! (A Mystical Adventure Hybrid Cut)

This fanedit merges Dragon Ball: Mystical Adventure with the General Blue and Tao Pai Pai arcs from the original series, creating a cohesive, movie-style experience.

Inspired by Maknut’s fanedit approach but restructured for continuity with The Path to Power, this version removes all direct references to the Red Ribbon Army—Goku already defeated them in the previous film. Instead, the Crane Hermit takes center stage as the mastermind behind General Blue and the fearsome assassin, Tao Pai Pai.

The basis of the project was the fanedit made by Maknut. Their edits have become quite popular on YT recently, they re-edited each OG DB story arc into a ~2h movie.

Those edits are great, but I personally prefer The Path to Power as a movie retelling of the first Dragon Ball arcs, so the Maknut’s “Red Ribbon Army” film wasn’t compatible with that movie (since Goku already defeated the Red Ribbon Army).

Also, I’ve wanted to make an extended/improved version of Mystical Adventure for a very long time (I think it had a potential to be a great DB movie but it was too rushed), therefore, I decided to create this hybrid cut, blending both stories into one cohesive film.

By repurposing and restructuring scenes, this hybrid cut expands Mystical Adventure into a more complete, extended story. It can be watched in two ways:
• As a reimagined/extended Mystical Adventure following the first two theatrical Dragon Ball films
• As a direct continuation of The Path to Power, aligning with an alternative movie-based timeline

My personal watching order would be:
• The Path to Power and Sleeping Princess in the Devil Castle movies
• The 21st Tenkaichi Budokai (fanedit by Maknut)
• The Notorious Mercenary, Tao Pai Pai!
• Fortuneteller Baba and 22nd TB (fanedits by Maknut)
• King Piccolo and Piccolo Jr. fanedits by Mr. S

I removed all the direct references to the Red Ribbon Army and Commander Red. I wasn’t able to remove the RR logo from the characters’ outfits. I thought it can be treated simply as an easter egg, or it may stand for Ran Ran as well. Plus, General Blue was already introduced in The Path to Powe so it can be interpreted as a remnant of the former RR Army led by Blue.
Regardless, from the context of the film it is clear that General Blue is working for the Crane Hermit and this remnant is a small part of the Crane Hermit’s army.

The film is divided into three acts:
• In the first act Goku, Bulma, and Kuririn set out on an ocean expedition to track down a Dragon Ball - only to be pursued and attacked by General Blue. The film starts with the Mystical Adventure opening scene, introducing the Crane Hermit, Tao Pai Pai and Tien. We also see the Crane Hermit’s forces invading the sacred Korin land in search of another Dragon Ball, introducing Bora and his son Upa. This conflict sets the stage for the events present in the second act.
• Act 2: Goku crosses paths with Bora and Upa, leading to his first encounter with Tao Pai Pai. In a brutal showdown, Goku is soundly defeated, leaving him unconscious. Meanwhile, Bulma, Yamcha, and the rest of the gang embark on a covert mission to Mifan. Using the grand martial arts tournament as a cover, they steal Master Shen’s dragon balls. We also learn that Emperor Chaotsu’s “fiancee” has disappeared and we see Tao Pai Pai killing General Blue.
• In the third act, Goku climbs the sacred tower and trains with Korin. He fights Tao Pai Pai again and this time he easily overpowers and defeats the assassin. Meanwhile, Tien gives back the doll to Chiaotzu, admitting that Shen ordered him to hide it. In the end of the film, Goku reunites with the gang and and together they set off in search of the final Dragon Ball to bring Bora back to life. The film closes on a hopeful note, with the adventure far from over.

If anybody’s interested in checking it out, please DM me ☺️

Hello there!

I’m back with another audio drama fanedit! ☺️

This is my reimagined and improved version of the Dark Empire II audio drama.

Unlike my previous project (Dark Empire: The Canon Edit), this one is a heavily trimmed and restructured version of the source material; the idea was to create a more concise, dynamic, and enjoyable version of Dark Empire II.

It serves as a stand-alone sequel to my previous project, Dark Empire: The Canon Edit (hence the new title).
Sticking to the main goal of my earlier work, this time I’ve also removed all elements that contradicted the current cinematic Star Wars canon.
I also removed the reborn Emperor from the story entirely, allowing the narrative to focus on new challenges and characters without revisiting his arc.

…

What’s new? / What to expect?
The complete list of changes I’ve made is far too extensive to detail so I will focus only on the key changes:

A Streamlined Plot
To streamline the story and maintain a tighter focus, I decided to remove several subplots and secondary characters. This includes the entire Galaxy Gun subplot, the Dark Jedi’s attempt to kidnap the Solo children (it’s a ‘canon-friendly’ edit, so the twins don’t exist), the adventures of Wedge Antilles and Salla, and a few other narrative threads. By trimming these elements, the edit could focus on the core story and its primary characters (delivering a more cohesive experience and a fast-paced action).

Restructured Narrative
Given all these changes, the story required significant restructuring, and several scenes had to be recontextualised to fit the new narrative flow.

New Title
So, the first key alteration I made was that I decided to change the title to Champions of the Force (which, of course, is a nod to the classic Legends novel).
It reflects the fact that, after all the alterations I made, the story became a stand-alone sequel to Dark Empire.
It’s no longer a direct continuation or a “second part” of Dark Empire, but rather a new story, with a different focus, new characters, different villains, and exploring different themes.
Just like Tatooine Ghost isn’t a direct sequel to The Truce at Bakura or The Courtship of Princess Leia, but is instead its own distinct story. While it’s set later in the timeline and acknowledges prior events, it stands firmly on its own.

The Villains
Since I removed the reborn Emperor from the story, now the main antagonists of the story are Sedriss (as the main villain) and Boba Fett (who steps into the role of secondary antagonist, serving as a persistent adversary for Han and Leia).

The climax of the story centers on the showdown between Luke Skywalker and Sedriss on Ossus, bringing the revised narrative to a satisfying conclusion.

Jem Ysanna
One of the most significant changes involves the character of Jem. In this edit, Jem doesn’t die, and I’ve chosen to retain her romance with Luke Skywalker. How her story fits into the broader Star Wars timeline is left open to interpretation. Personally, I like to imagine that she was killed by Kylo Ren before the events of the sequel trilogy, possibly still being Luke’s love interest at that time. This interpretation adds a layer of tragedy to Luke’s journey, paralleling the Legends storyline where Jacen Solo killed Luke’s wife. It also deepens the emotional impact of Luke’s “breaking point” in the sequels, providing a more complex backdrop for his later isolation.

I also re-used some scenes of her Jedi training. Now we see Luke training her on Ossus (and falling in love) before Sedriss and his Empire Remnant attack the planet.

One particular moment put a smile on my face. When Jem takes Luke and Kam to the ancient Jedi “library”, they discover some sacred Jedi texts and Luke says he will study all of these books. I found it funny because in The Last Jedi Yoda mocks him about not having read the texts that have just been burnt.

Boba Fett
As mentioned earlier, Boba Fett plays a significant role in this new, restructured narrative as one of the main antagonists. His primary agenda is to have his revenge on Han and Leia for what happened  on Tatooine in RotJ.
I understand that, given his portrayal in the Mandoverse, this interpretation of Fett might feel out of character to some. However, it’s important to remember that some time has passed since the events of TBOBF, and character development doesn’t always follow a path that convinces every fan (a good example being Luke in The Last Jedi or Obi-Wan in his series).
What I appreciate about Dark Empire II’s version of Boba Fett is that it captures the essence of the badass bounty hunter we knew from the Original Trilogy. In fact, he even manages to kill two Dark Jedi. His motives are clear and straightforward—revenge, similar to his arc in The Book of Boba Fett. For me, this works pretty fine and I like the evolution of this character in the context of this story.

Apart from restructuring some scenes with Boba, the only thing I had to change was that I removed the origin of the character.  In the original audio drama, one of the Dark Jedi mentions that Boba Fett was an ex-Stormtrooper who deserted from the Imperial Army.

The Ending
For the epilogue, I decided to reuse the final scene from the original audio drama, albeit heavily trimmed and edited to fit the new narrative. Ben Solo is born, and the story concludes with Luke and Han expressing their belief that this child will be the future of the Jedi Order.
To bring everything full circle, the scene ends with a variation of Ben Solo’s/Kylo Ren’s theme, which also serves as the ending credits music. I felt it was a nice nod to the sequel trilogy, tying the fanedit into the broader Star Wars movie saga.

An Episodic Format
I chose to present this fanedit in an episodic format, consisting of seven episodes, much like the old radio dramas.
I felt this structure suited the production better, allowing for more natural breaks in the story and improving the overall pacing. This episodic approach also adds a nostalgic touch, evoking the classic serialized storytelling style that radio drama fans cherished for years.

…

For a while, I was tempted to incorporate elements of Dark Forces audio dramas as well, using some bits to create a third subplot and merge it somehow with the story. However, after revisiting those audio dramas for the first time in over 12 years, I realized how great these productions were. They are just too good to be “butchered” like that 😀
That said, I’ll probably sit down at some point and work on creating a Canon Edit of Dark Forces.

I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself, but the more I revisit these audio dramas, the more I see the potential for an entire series.
Originally, I only planned to create Dark Empire: The Canon Edit (as the idea was on my mind for years), but I realize there are still plenty of interesting stories in audio drama format from this era that could serve as a nice bridge between the OT and ST, as well as an interesting addition to the Mandoverse timeline.

DM me if you’re interested.

May the Force be with You! ☺️

Guiguioh said:

I only had time to listen to the first 5-6 minutes but your editing is seamless. Good job on that. I had a good smile at the Luke/Lando pairing mention because it is something in canon in that pre sequel Era books too.

Thank you for the kind words!
Regarding Luke and Lando, I totally agree. Since in TROS Lando mentions their adventures, it’s nice to see this duo on a mission together. Especially that the movies never really deep-dived into their friendship.
Also, what makes it even cooler is that Billy Dee Williams reprised his role as Lando in Dark Empire.

Guiguioh said:

The intro place that story post Thrawn Era. I think it works well for now, maybe you will need to do more edits in the future after all the Mando era showns/movies are over.

Yes, for now it works fine. Let’s see how Mandoverse will handle the Thrawn’s campaign in the future 😉

Guiguioh said:

Also, this is clearly a way to make that story work with the on screen canon content, not with the rest. And it is perfectly fine like that, just wanted to mention for anyone wanting to know.

Yes, exactly ☺️ The aim of the fanedit was to make it fit in the Star Wars cinematic universe canon (movies + series).
The only canon novel I took into consideration was “Shadow of the Sith”, I tried to make sure the audio drama wouldn’t contradict the book. I think both stories set up pretty well the Sequel Trilogy.

Hope you enjoy the rest of it!

So, I’ve finally finished the last chapter:

-I removed the mention of the Solo twins in the opening scene;
-I decided to keep the line “you will train all my children” as it can be interpreted in a more general way (like in a “one day, if I have more children, you will train all of them” sense);
-I had to remove the last scene (too many mentions of the Solo twins and the “third child”);

I also added two scenes (trimmed and blended together) from “Empire’s End” #1, using them as an open-ending epilogue of the story. The scene foreshadows the Emperor’s return in Episode IX.
It provides an explanation of why Palpatine disappeared and stayed in the shadow during the next twenty years, setting up the events of TROS.
As he explains, Luke destroyed all his best clones, therefore he was forced to take one that was genetically unstable and is now in decay. He also says he will journey to his “place of power” which, in the context of the Sequel Trilogy, can be interpreted as Exegol.

I’ve also updated the opening thread.
The project is now complete and if anybody is interested, they can PM me to get the link 😃

May the force be with you!

The first chapter is 21 min.

It would be great if somebody could “proof-read” the first five minutes at least.

Hello there!

Would anybody be interested in listening to the workprint of the first chapter?

Also, a little update for chapters 7 and 8:

• Chapter 7: I removed the mention of the Solo twins.
• Chapter 8: no editing/trimming was needed, so I left it as it was.

Yesterday I went through chapters 4-6.

• Chapter 4
No editing/changes needed, I left it as it was.

• Chapter 5
I trimmed one dialogue, removing the mention of Mako being the one who had introduced Han to the smuggling business (as it contradicts Han’s origins presented in “Solo”)

• Chapter 6
I cut the weird/cringy dialogue of Luke and the Emperor from the first scene.

Also, little update for Chapter 1: I added the “A long time ago…” from Everest Production’s fan made audio drama (Labirynth of Evil). The line is read imitating Palpatine’s voice, which I think fits well in this story.

After the Xmas Holidays I’ll go through chapters 7-9.

Double post, sorry 😦

So far, I finished the workprints of some of the chapters.

The biggest challenge right now is the last one. I thought I could use the ending of the “Dark Empire II”, but I cannot edit it as I’d like to.
The last scene of Dark Empire cannot be trimmed as I’d like to because of the music in the background. So I’m kinda stuck with it : /

The other challenge for me was chapter 1, as I had to somehow trim the opening crawl, but I think I managed to do it.

So far the change list is:

•Chapter 1:
-I added “A long time ago…”
-trimmed the opening crawl

•Chapter 2
-the dialogue between Luke and Leia was trimmed (removed the mention of the twins and future generation of the Jedi)
-the last scene was removed (when Han declines helping Lando, as I felt it was too much out of character)

• Chapter 3:
-remove the whole first scene (too many mentions of the twins and also it was a direct followup to the last scene of chapter #2 I had removed)
-removed one mention of “the children”

So, recently I’ve went back to this idea (it’s been returning like a boomerang for a while) and I’ve actually listened to the audio drama this week. This time I even took some notes here and there, to know more else what and where to cut/trimm.

For sure, I’ll need to remove all the mentions of the Solo twins. Luckily, most of those lines (or sequences) can be easily cut.
The biggest challenge will be the last dialogue between Leia and Luke, as there’s music in the background so I cannot just cut one line. I’ll try to figure it out.
Although, I’m thinking about using the last scenes from “Dark Empire II”, maybe I can trim them seamlessly, removing the mention of Vima and the NR base destroyed.

I also plan to cut some unnecessary scenes/moments for better pacing (and because sometimes, some protagonists are a bit out of character for me).

I remember there’s one little dialogue which I have to trim, it’s about Han’s friend who introduced him to the smudging underworld - it would contradict too much the evens of “Solo”.

Definitely the biggest challenge for the moment is the opening crawl.
Since it mentions the twins and the Thrawn campaign, I cannot really use it. On the other hand, I’m not sure it can be skipped without affecting the story. And I’m not really tech savvy when it comes to creating some AI dialogues etc. But well, we’ll see.

Hello there!

Some of you may be familiar with this amazing fan-made adaptation of Labyrinth of Evil, in the form of a full-cast audio drama, released two years ago by Everest Productions.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=9HmM9HzQYwo

This incredible fan production is directly inspired by the official German audio drama of Labyrinth of Evil, Labyrinth des Bösen (adapted into German by Oliver Döring).

The English fan-made adaptation covers the first third of the story (with two further installments planned), which mirrors the 3-disc/three-part structure of Labyrinth des Bösen.
The project was directed and mixed by Lord Krit, and the principle cast consists of Archer/TalkingNSuch as Obi-Wan, Sasstry as Anakin Skywalker, John Wilson as Palpatine, David Poddany as Yoda and some other great voice talents.

In terms of quality, this audio drama does not differ in any way from professional, top audio productions. Outstanding voice performance (most actors sound almost identical to their film counterparts. Some of them do better voice imitations than the cast of “The Clone Wars”), good sound effects, mix/master, John Williams’ music, high sound quality, plus an additional treat in the form of a visual boards for those who watch on YT. Definitely one of the most interesting and professional fan productions in recent years.

The fanedit idea:
Nevertheless, as great and perfect as it is, there is one small but…
As mentioned before, this fan-made adaptation covers only ⅓ of the novel (as it adapts directly only the first part of the German audio drama). Two years have passed and so far I haven’t found any update anywhere that would indicate when (and if) the creators plan to produce the next parts (which I understand is an extremely difficult and time consuming process).

So, as much as it’s definitely worth waiting for, if someone would like to listen to the entire story in this form, after listening to the first part, they will be left with a cliffhanger.
For example, me, I would personally return to the LoT audio drama regularly, maybe even every year, as part of the annual Star Wars movie marathon, if a full 3-part story was available.

And that’s where my idea for a ‘continuation’ (or more of a spiritual sequel) of this amazing project appeared.
I thought it would be a pretty cool idea to put together a fan-edit of the Labyrinth of Evil abriged audiobook. Of course, I realize that listening to an audiobook is not 100% the same experience as listening to an audio drama, nevertheless, I still think it’s worth giving it a try at least.

As already mentioned, the LoT audiobook is only available in an abridged form, which already makes the story more condensed (just like in the case of a 2-3 hour audio drama).
Moreover, as we all know, Star Wars audiobooks, both abriged and unabriged, stand out from most standard audiobooks - most of these productions use the full palette of sound effects and music from the movies, appropriate filters are applied to the voices of many characters (Vader, C-3PO, Grievous, etc.), and in the background there are all kinds of beeps, noises, screams and explosions. And above all, what makes those productions really exceptional, is the excellent narration. The narrators (like Jonathan Davis or Mark Thompson) can imitate really well the characters from the movies. Some protagonists (including Obi-Wan, Palpatine and Yoda) sound very similar to their counterparts from movies and TV series. Which makes the experience of listening to Star Wars audiobooks similar to listening to an audio drama. I think most of the Star Wars audiobooks sound more like a hybrid of an audiobook and a radio drama.

But to the point. Here’s more or less my idea for this fan-edit: remove the first 1/3 of the audiobook (e.i. all the chapters that were already covered by Everest Productions’ Part One), which would leave us, approximately, with 3/3.5h of the original audiobook’s content.

Then my idea would be to divide those remaining ∼3.5h into parts two and three.
Since the LoT audiobook was abridged, having parts 2 and 3 in a form of condensed 90-120min ‘’chapters’’ makes it closer to an audio-drama form.
Of course, I could also think about some additional trims, cut some redundant narration bits like ‘’Obi-Wan said’’, ‘’he added with a surprise in his voice’’ or ‘’he ignited his lightsaber’’ (when we can hear in the background that it has been ignited), etc. etc.

Also I have two alternative ideas/takes I’d like to consider:

1. maybe a bit too radical but I was thinking that maybe I could cut the whole attack on Couruscant part, since it was shown in 2005’s Clone Wars already. It would be still mentioned in other characters POV chapters, but the whole battle itself would be mostly cut. Although I have mix feelings regarding this solution. Because if someone doesn’t care about the animated TV show and they just wanted to re-live the events from the James Luceno’s novel again, it takes away too much content.
2. Instead of making Parts Two and Three, maybe I could create just one fanedit/combo-cut of the fan-made Part One, and the rest of the story would continue in form of a trimmed audiobook, as a one long ∼4h ‘’audio-drama’’. It’d still be shorter than an actual audiobook and should be more or less enjoyable experience. Tho the sudden change after the first hour could be too odd.

What do you think about this idea? Maybe someone tried something similar? All kinds of suggestions are welcome 😃

In my opinion, smudger9’s “The Army of the Republic” is the best fanedit of the 2008 TCW movie available in internet.

Personally, for me it made this movie 10 times better.

Sounds great, I haven’t watched the show, so it will be a very interesting cinematic experience for me 😉

Are you planning to include an opening crawl?

Would you consider using some “Legends” pre-EI title, like “Cloak of Deception” or “Dynasty of Evil”, etc?

ifjg said:

I’m personally in favor of including everything that’s non-redundant and has finished FX. If the duplicate lines can be edited out, I’d like the Mace Windu one for showing off a more optimistic side of him in regards to Anakin to counterbalance he how treats him in ROTS. I also like the Padme bedroom scene as a hint of looming darkness.

I also like the Dooku statue scene but I’m a little iffy on the unfinished FX and the low-res statue close-up. Best version I’ve seen is by Mecha Salesman.
https://youtu.be/5vPvyV7xznc?si=1_d9PkFg3Je43kQw&t=218

I think it’d be very weird to have scenes from a cartoon in a live action movie.

So far, I think the best possible version would be something similar to a video with flashbacks of Qui-Gon that was mentioned in the OP.

Octorox said:

Here’s an alternate take I found on the Lost 20 scene that cuts it down further to use basically only finished footage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIQTcvtHvhw

At that point though, I’m not sure if it’s even worth including. Thoughts?

I believe the scene itself is worth including, but only if it’s possible to include the whole dialogue, as it’s a great backstory for Count Dooku.

I think the version with the flashback would work better (although maybe using different scenes from the Episode I, and without the retro-filter).

Long have I waited for a project like this 😉

Padme’s bedroom - I think I wouldn’t include this one. It’s terribly cheesy and it doesn’t add anything meaningful to this movie.

Geonosian Trial - if it was up to me, I would keep it.

The Lost Twenty - In my opinion you should add it. I agree that it may feel a bit off for a Star Wars movie to use this kind of flashback, but this short scene adds a lot to the film. And the flashback itself could be probably shorten easily. Besides, Qui-Gon is barely mentioned in the Episode II. From a perspective of someone who watches SW for the first time, in the chronological order, it could be kinda weird that the guy who was basically the protagonist of the first movie, a mentor to both male protagonists of the sequel, and a student of the movie’s antagonist, is barely mentioned in the film. So this mention + a little flashback could actually work pretty well in terms of narrative and continuity.

About the Kenobi scene - as much as it didn’t fit in “Kenobi” at all, I believe it would be a great addition to AotC. It establishes pretty well the complex relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan. It shows Anakin’s temper and arrogance, it actually gives some more context to Anakin’s perspective about Obi-Wan holding him back, and vice versa, when Obi-Wan believes Anakin is too reckless and short-tempered.
I think this one should definitely be included.

I’m super happy you decided to revive this project 😉

Can’t wait to see how you deal with the Maul/Shadow Conspiracy arc!

Do you think you could consider removing the whole clones’ chip (order 66) stuff? I’ve always found it such a terrible retcon ; /

Also, I think that the Barriss scene from “The Devoted” could serve as a great post-credit scene to the Ahsoka/Conspiracy movie.

So, yesterday (as a part of my Star Wars rewatch-marathon) I watched the v1, as it’s my favourite version of this fanedit (I hate chapters 5 and 6, and I think the film works perfectly with chapter 4 included).

I think it was the first time I rewatched since you released it back in 2019/2020.

I enjoyed it so, so much! You cut all the boring filler stuff, and left the best of the 1st season. This edit really makes the s01 way better. It flows very well, the pacing is very good, and the editing is just perfect. I felt like watching a proper Star Wars movie.

For me, your v1 of this fanedit is the best possible version of Mando s01. Watching it again was a great experience, I loved every second of this film.

I treat it a bit as a movie-pilot for the series (something like the TCW and Rebels:Spark of Rebellion films).
The second season I enjoy it too much in its original form (I just skip 2x02) to watch it in a condensed version, but “A Vergance in The Force” (v1) is definitely the only enjoyable version of s01 for me 😉

I will definitely stick to it in all my future rewatches of the saga, I already made some copies of the edit in some of my various drives to not lose it 😉 .

I think season 2 is so good that you could reconsider cutting it into 2 movies.

Movie 1: 2x1, 2x3 and 2x5 + you can include some Boba Fett stuff if you prefer. It would give you a 3 act movie, with running time of approx. 2h.

Movie 2: another 3 act movie where 1st act could be 2x6 (the introduction of Boba Fett and kidnapping of Grogu), 2nd act would be a trimmed version 2x7 (there were a lot of great moments there) and a very strong 3rd act with Luke Skywalker.

You’d end up with two 2h movies and you wouldn’t need to worry about cutting too much or not including enough material. The season was very solid, so the cinematic experience would be still great.

Since you went back through your Mando edits and you are updating the crawls, etc. Any chances of a version of those edits without “Episode” number, just subtitles? 😉
Some viewers could watch those edits more selectively or in different orders then 😉 also it’d give this vibe of the New Republic novels from the 90s 😄

Btw.
I love the new artwork for this project, looks really cool with this red logo 😉

smudger9 said:

GLogus said:

smudger9 said:

GLogus said:

I just finished watching this edit. I evaluate Star Wars fanedits less in terms of preserving canon and more in terms of simply telling a good story, so I submit my comments with that in mind.

I will start by saying that I was not a huge fan of this series. I thought the first three episodes were mediocre, the next three were pretty strong overall, and that the last two were frankly pretty bad. Through no fault of the faneditor, whose efforts are certainly impressive, this same pattern has translated into the structure of this fanedit.

As per the speeder scene that has already been discussed, I think some of the dialogue between the two pilots and Sabine is a bit too “made for TV”, but otherwise I think the speeder scene is necessary because it’s a good re-introduction to Sabine as a character.

As alluded to earlier, most of my issues come in the third act, largely covering episodes 7 and 8. I have two problems broadly, and then a handful of more specific problems.

First, I think the flow of the third act is just too slow and relaxed. We’re at the part of the movie where we should be building up to the climax, and that sense of tension just isn’t there. This is not helped by the fact that Ahsoka acts as if she’s consumed a bunch of edibles and is so zen now that nothing could possibly faze her. I feel that cutting at least some of the more egregious “I’m too high to care” moments might help retain some of the tension. Ahsoka’s only the worst offender. Sabine and Ezra come across as pretty lackadaisical themselves.

Second, I think the other problem is simply that too much dumb nonsense ends up in the third act. Any sense of tension is again obliterated when the viewer is rolling their eyes at the utter stupidity of what they’re witnessing. The zombie horror element of the undead Night Troopers reanimating, making silly noises, and then being effortlessly defeated again is the worst example, imo, but not the only one.

Despite all the trims, the length of this fanedit is still strongly felt. It loses all of its steam in the third act, and while this is the fault of the series itself and not of the faneditor, I still felt obliged to say something. Smudger is something of a miracle worker in my view, so perhaps something can still be done even though I don’t have much in the way of proposed solutions, having not played around with the source material myself.

As for specific problems, I’ve always hated when Shin force pushes Ezra during their confrontation. She pushes him so hard that it looks like it should’ve killed him, yet he’s completely fine only a moment later. It also makes him like a bit of a doofus.

Lastly, I’ll echo what someone else has said about Sabine’s force push of Ezra. It pains me to say it, because I absolutely think Sabine’s force powers are unearned, but something definitely feels like it’s missing with the way its cut, to the extent that someone unfamiliar with the series is going to be confused. With a heavy heart, I say that Sabine’s force push should probably be reinserted.

On the positive side, I would say the first two thirds are nearly perfect (or as good as they can be given the source material), and I especially like the even-handed approach to trimming the Hera subplot.

Thanks Glogus, your thoughts are always appreciated. There isn’t really anything I can add to your points. As you say, the series was set up for an epic finale which it failed to deliver. I had exactly the same feelings as you when I was editing… how can I speed up the pace of this final act. I cut a lot out of episode seven, removed Thrawn’s tactical withdrawals, got rid of the TIE fighter attack. However, there just isn’t anything compelling left… you can’t polish a turd! A shame really because, in this edited form, 1 love acts 1 and 2. Someone with special effects ability and the willingness to physically shoot scenes, like PixelJoker, may be able to come up with something better!

I agree the length is slightly too long. Annoyingly if it wasn’t for the costume change I could have chopped 5 mins off the Seatos approach by getting rid of the space walk and maybe save a few minutes in the finale.

Re-inserting Sabine’s force push is 2/2, so I’ll pop that back in and run a version 2 along with the other changes discussed above.

Thanks again for the feedback.

I wonder what Skeleton Crew will give us!

Specifically, I do think some of Ahsoka’s overly zen-like reactions can be removed—Like when she reunites with Ezra and giggles like a schoolgirl (I don’t know why, but that just grates on me, lol). Again, she’s acting like she just OD’d on Ambien for the latter half of the series, and it detracts from what what should be rising tension leading to the climax.

I also believe something can be done with the over-the-top zombie troopers, even if it’s just to tone down the ridiculous sound effects.

You are right, however, that you succeeded in elevating the material significantly, and you have a killer Act 1 and 2. Your BoBF edit was nothing short of magic. You elevated that material to legit one of my favorite Star Wars films. I was, frankly speaking, astonished by the potential you brought out in it. But perhaps that potential just isn’t here with Ahsoka.

I think when you’ve been working so long on an edit and looking at the same sequences over and over again you can lose sight of what else can be done. I’ve made the alterations discussed above and I think I’ll leave it as is… for now.

I’ve moved back to my episode I to add in the new series logo and crawl style, upgrade it to 4K and maybe tighten it up a touch. Then I’ll come back and have another look at the final act along with any further feedback I get from this round of viewings and do a proper V2.

I have a loose idea regarding the whole series.

Maybe you can leave ambiguous the Grogu’s decision, leaving it as a cliffhanger in Episode III.
Then, make Ahsoka episode IV instead of V.
And then Mando s03 could become the fifth episode. In this case, it takes one more movie to keep the suspense of Grogu’s decision. Also, in this order, we have some nice introduction of Ahsoka in eps II and III before the movie centered on her in EP IV.

Also, the Moff Gideon reveal could be moved to the episode III end (for ex) as a cliffhanger as well.
Or to Ahsoka’s film since they’re discussing the Thrawn’s return there.
For ex. You could add the scene where the old Asian X-wing captain discovers that Moff Gideon probably escaped as the last scene of the episode III.
Then in Ahsoka’s movie (as ep IV) include the scene of the shadow council discussing Thrawn’s return. It could be even cool to make a transition from Gideon asking sarcastically “where is he?” to the scene from “Ahsoka” that introduced the grand admiral.

It could flow really well this way and would make all the films more “connected”.

smudger9 said:

The opening logos and crawl are now finalised.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uPUmLXNUIRwIHDIq_qcvimAwbkCDhJvb

Wooooow, it looks great!!
Will all those films have red crawls or is it only for Ahsoka?

[smudger9 said:]

Ezra’s Return was more out than in and that worked perfectly when the New Republic elements had been removed. Having put those back in, it helps provide a close more to Hera’s arc than Ezra’s. I’ll watch it back again and make a final decision.

(…)

The second act was what I was most unsure about. Did you find anything that didn’t work for you?

Regarding Ezra’s scene - OK, from that point of view it makes sense to leave the scene.

2nd act of the film - I think it flows well. I would personally cut Here our of it, as I hated this filled stuff in the series. But, even tho I personally dislike this content a lot, I do think the second act is well structured and the scenes with Hera don’t affect it anymore because of the way you edited it. I think you found a great balance between keeping this stuff and removing it completely. It’s neither too much, nor too much cut.

Ok, so I watched the 2nd cut and … I think it’s really good.

Since the opening crawl and end credits are still in-progress, I won’t mention those.

When it comes to the rest of it, it’s really well edited. The editing is as great as it can be, and the transitions make it really feel like watching a full-lenght Star Wars.

I was very sceptical when you mentioned you’d keep Hera in the second act after all, but in the end it, I must admit it flows well actually. It doesn’t feel superfluous filler like in the series.

And I’m very happy you decided to keep Anakin’s hologram 😉

There are two things I’d personally cut (but it’s more like my personal preference):
-the first scene with Ahsoka, I think the entire sequence could be cut and you could start with her approaching the NR base and meeting Hera
-Ezra’s return - I’d leave it ambiguous what happened to him after he made that jump, or, I’d make it a post-credit scene instead 😉

In general, the final product is a very well paced, coherent 3h movie. It’s definitely way more enjoyable and “digestible” than the source material.

PS
I know u don’t like to watch other faneditors’ work, but I ll send you a PM anyway one thing that other faneditor on this forum did to trim a bit the first scene with Bylon and Shin. It could save you a minute or two, without loosing the best part of this scene.

Once your “Ahsoka” comes out, and when you release the other three edits as “New Republic”, do you think you would be open to consider releasing a version of those films without Episode numbers as well (for the viewers who may prefer skipping some of the stories)?