I finally was able to finish season one, so here are some thoughts about the last three episodes of season 1. Let me know if anything I say is unclear or if you have questions!
108 - Duchess of Mandalore
In the opening text, the word “is” is duplicated: “Duchess Satine Kryze of Mandalote is is on Coruscant…”
I also can’t help but wonder if there’s a better place in Season 1 to put this episode. I think for me, I would like it an episode or two sooner, maybe before the Battle of Ryloth.
109 - A Strike at the Heart Part 1
Consider capitalizing Duros. To make the crawl still clear, I would restructure that line as follows:
“One is the Duros bounty hunter Cad Bane, famed for building specialist teams to guarantee success for his employers.”
I would add a comma after “But of late” so it reads: “But of late, the bold Ahsoka has been struggling with obedience…”
Starting at 32:57, Obi-Wan’ mouth starts moving even though there aren’t any lines for him. I think if you can cut out those few frames, it would be an easy fix.
I loved the interweaving of the Senate hostage storyline and the Holocron heist. By mixing the two storylines, it highlights Cad Bane’s skills and strategic prowess, while also amping up the action and evening out the pacing. Additionally, it made perfect sense that Cad Bane would target the Senate with a large team as a smokescreen for the real heist at the Jedi Temple.
110 - A Strike at the Heart Part 2
In the crawl, I would tweak it a little so it says: “The Republic is reeling from the Senate hostage crisis, only to find that it was a distraction to cover a heist at the Jedi Temple.”
I would capitalize Senate, Temple, Force (in Force-sensitive and in general), and Jedi Order.
I really enjoyed these two episodes, all of the cuts were seamless and flowed well to each other. I don’t really have any advice other than the things I mentioned above. Great job with everything so far! I’m definitely looking forward to getting into the next season this upcoming week!