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sonofabinadi

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12-Apr-2020
Last activity
26-Jul-2021
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Post
#1440883
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

EddieDean said:

With that same intention of making the first season as smooth as possible, I’m going to add two scenes from Assassin into our now episode three, the first Mandalore episode.

I think this is a great idea, especially considering that we want Ahsoka in most of the early episodes. Conceptually, it’s a slam dunk. The only concern would be if it feels out of place or breaks the pacing too much. That being said, I’m excited to see it in practice as you do your polish pass!

Post
#1439707
Topic
The Last Jedi: Stoic Edition (WIP)
Time

All of the changes and trims you’re making make perfect sense to me; I’m excited to see how it turns out! I can see how the proposed edits will help to assist the movie in conveying the themes effectively, without having to spell it out for the viewer.

In terms of the things you need help with, I’m not super skilled with editing, but I’ll be happy to help where I can!

Post
#1437264
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

I finally was able to finish season one, so here are some thoughts about the last three episodes of season 1. Let me know if anything I say is unclear or if you have questions!

108 - Duchess of Mandalore

In the opening text, the word “is” is duplicated: “Duchess Satine Kryze of Mandalote is is on Coruscant…”

I also can’t help but wonder if there’s a better place in Season 1 to put this episode. I think for me, I would like it an episode or two sooner, maybe before the Battle of Ryloth.

109 - A Strike at the Heart Part 1

Specific advice:

Consider capitalizing Duros. To make the crawl still clear, I would restructure that line as follows:

“One is the Duros bounty hunter Cad Bane, famed for building specialist teams to guarantee success for his employers.”

I would add a comma after “But of late” so it reads: “But of late, the bold Ahsoka has been struggling with obedience…”

Starting at 32:57, Obi-Wan’ mouth starts moving even though there aren’t any lines for him. I think if you can cut out those few frames, it would be an easy fix.

General Thoughts:

I loved the interweaving of the Senate hostage storyline and the Holocron heist. By mixing the two storylines, it highlights Cad Bane’s skills and strategic prowess, while also amping up the action and evening out the pacing. Additionally, it made perfect sense that Cad Bane would target the Senate with a large team as a smokescreen for the real heist at the Jedi Temple.

110 - A Strike at the Heart Part 2

Specific advice:

In the crawl, I would tweak it a little so it says: “The Republic is reeling from the Senate hostage crisis, only to find that it was a distraction to cover a heist at the Jedi Temple.”

I would capitalize Senate, Temple, Force (in Force-sensitive and in general), and Jedi Order.

General thoughts:

I really enjoyed these two episodes, all of the cuts were seamless and flowed well to each other. I don’t really have any advice other than the things I mentioned above. Great job with everything so far! I’m definitely looking forward to getting into the next season this upcoming week!

Post
#1435080
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

So I’ve finally gotten the time to pick up watching where I left off, so sorry if I’m a bit behind on things already brought up about certain episodes! Anyways, here are my thoughts for The Blockade of Ryloth:

  • In the intro crawl, is King supposed to be capitalized? What about Twi-lek or Jedi Master? If you’ve already addressed this, sorry to bring it up again!
  • I felt like this was a great episode to highlight Ashoka’s growth so far, while still showing places where she still has lots to learn.
  • at 10:28-10:32, the transition between Anakin saying “Jump to lightspeed” and the battle on the surface felt a little off to me. The audio transition wasn’t the best, but I think the visual transition was what pulled me out of it more. I felt like the transition should have been a wipe, but I could be wrong, I haven’t seen the original episodes in a while! That being said, if this segment was how the original episode was, then don’t worry about it.
  • at 31:16-32:12, the audio is out of sync with the video, such that Obi-Wan’ mouth moves for several seconds without the audio of him speaking. I checked both my downloaded file and streaming the file from Google Drive, and they both had the problem.

Overall, I enjoyed the episode! It was a nice one to showcase Ashoka and Anakin’s growth since we saw them last, while also providing a close concise look at some of the stakes of the Clone Wars. Aside from the things I noted above, your cuts were pretty seamless, great job!

Post
#1433558
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

Personally, the episodes I’ve seen where I remember the originals are vast improvements over the source material. I think, with TCW: Refocused, you will always have a trade off between having a tight focus and faster pacing or including slightly lesser quality source material to pad out the plot. I personally prefer having a faster pace, with slower parts only being character development oriented. As for whether or not more content could be included to allow the plot to breathe, I think the solution would be to decide on a case by case basis (which we have been doing pretty well with). That way we can avoid extra bloat as much as possible. That being said, that will require a little more effort on our (or at least my) part as viewers to familiarize ourselves with the source content, so we can help more with decisions on what to cut and keep. Just my thoughts on it, hope it makes sense!

Post
#1427234
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

EddieDean said:

Ah, YES! I think I’ve cracked this politics episode.

I was having a bit of a problem with two Padmé-Bail conversations, trying to trim them down and combine their audio to streamline the plot a bit, but it was really hard to make that work with matching the lipsync whilst tying it to the geography of the two walking around a room together and keeping the coversation flowing properly. So I decided to take some time to mull this all over, and I think I’ve got the answer:

I realised that, since I’m massively minimising Onaconda in TCW:R, I could reframe him into some other role, in order to emphasise Padmé’s importance and have Dooku recognise her as a very legitimate threat.

Now, instead of being the senator for Rodia, Onaconda becomes Padmé’s liaison with her constituents. Dooku’s hiring of thugs to hassle senators now becomes a specific attack on Padmé’s support network to force her out in the open. They beat up Onaconda, meaning that Padmé now needs to directly spend time talking to her constituents, which lets the thugs catch up with her. I’ll preserve much more of the action scene now to emphasise the physical threat. We drop some of the complexities of the loan etc, and this way the focus is much more on Padmé’s competence as a humanising orator.

This is something I think you do really well; repurposing characters to better serve the plot. I already liked these episodes, but I can’t wait to see how you tie them all together!

Post
#1419812
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

EddieDean said:

I think I definitely want to follow Ahsoka’s fall with my Scipio episode, because I’m going to be making changes to that episode which make it more of a response to Ahsoka’s loss. But I’m thinking I could pull O66/Yoda possibly as early even as season 3.

Gotcha, I forgot about that! That’ll be exciting to see with the new context you’re adding.

Post
#1419654
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

In terms of the Order 66 Arc, the only thing you’d have to consider is Fives is in the Umbara Arc, but besides that I really think you could put the Order 66 Arc anywhere you want to break up the action with slower intrigue. Just an idea, but would it work as a “season premiere” for your Season 5? One reason that might work well is after Ahsoka leaves the Jedi Order it would slow down a bit to set up the dominoes for the last few arcs (which tie everything together) and then escalate to the finish line. Another alternative is to make it in Season 4 before Ashoka’s Fall which would fit with the theme of deception (things aren’t always what they seem) and betrayal that we see. That would make Season 4 kind of clone heavy though.

Post
#1419458
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

I agree with Darth, Pursuit of Peace is a pretty good one. I also liked the one that happens before it; I think it was called Heroes on Both Sides? Arguably the episode isn’t the best when it comes to plot, but the humanization of the actual people on the Separatists’ side was a nice touch for me. That episode really helped to sell that one, the Separatists aren’t just the droid army and Count Dooku, and two, I think it highlights the level and power of manipulation Palpatine has on both sides. I think out of all of the Padme episodes, those ones were the most memorable for me, but as to how or where they should fit in the larger context, I’m not too sure. Just some thoughts.

Post
#1419307
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

Just watched the 501st Legion episode, so here are my thoughts:

Loved the carry over from Malevolence that they’re still looking for Grevious, and the Rishi system is where Grevious is hiding. With that added context, it helps propel the plot forward in a natural way and helps tie the Rishi base plot to the Malevolence episode and the assault on Kamino. Everything was well paced and the transitions between episodes felt natural. Even though the Kamino battle is from a later season (and has better animation), it never felt out of place. The only place where something felt off was during the scene on the bridge between the clones being rescued on Rishi Station and the assault on Kamino. Specifically, 26:48-27:15 is where the audio seems a hair our of sync (Rex starts talking a hair too soon), was noticable with Rex’s first line and Obi-Wans line “The Separatists are taking quite the chance, considering this.” Overall though, it worked wonderfullly pacing-wise and plot-wise.

Post
#1419198
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

EddieDean said:

Thanks Hal. In fact, apologies folks, but I think I’m going to take a mental health day today. I was intending to spend this weekend fixing up the polish backlog but yesterday I had some unpleasant personal stuff happen and it needs a little processing and then a bit more of a descent into comfort for the rest of the day. All relatively minor, and it’s nothing that’ll impact this project in the long term, but right now it’ll just slow me down by a week or so more than expected.

Condolences for whatever you’re going through. Hope that it’ll all work out well!

Post
#1417984
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

Thoughts about Malevolence

Disclaimer: I watched the original episodes a while back, but I don’t remember these ones well at all. So if any problem points below are in the regular episode, sorry! Also, apologies if any of this has been said before!

I like that there’s still tension between Anakin and Ahsoka, her outburst and Anakin’s chastening after feels right, especially with having this episode pretty early on. The pacing worked well for me, I liked that it was faster. I also liked the humanizing moments of the clones and how that contrasted with the general opinion that clones are “expendable”.

The cut between Anakin and Ahsoka rescuing Plo Koon and the Malevolence coming out of hyperspace at 16:46 felt abrupt to me. I don’t have a surefire way to fix this, but if there are any establishing shots of the Republic ship to bridge the gap that might help. Otherwise, letting it fade to black in between and allowing a couple seconds to breathe in between would also work.

Scratch that, the whole section (up until 17:33) feels a bit wonky. I wasn’t sure when the cuts to the other Republic ship were taking place chronologically (are they flashbacks or happening simultaneously?) And the iris transition after Ahsoka says “I’m sorry Master Plo” also had a split second where the shot with Ahsoka and Plo Koon reversed? Other than that center section, everything else flowed well and was paced perfectly!

EDIT: I just finished looking at the most recent version of The New Padawan, and I think having the Clone Wars logo just appear adds that extra bit of punch which feels great. The added Bail Organa shot definitely helps to sell his inserted line to Anakin too.

Post
#1402772
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

Okay here’s my thoughts on the two episodes below. Other than the things mentioned, I didn’t notice anything that felt out of place. However, I haven’t seen these episodes in a long time, so I probably don’t notice what was cut/trimmed or added.

Thoughts about THE NEW PADAWAN:

  • The Maul cold open works in terms of adding Maul’s presence early on, but as has been mentioned above, I think it would work better as a end of season teaser. That way Death Watch has already been introduced and people know that nothing good will come of them finding Maul.
  • 7:56-8:00, the audio transition between Yularen and Master Yoda’s communication and the following battle has a drop in volume, making it feel like something is missing until the battle comes in at full volume. I think if the blaster fire faded in a couple seconds sooner, and the music increased more gradually, like a steep curve, towards the trumpet fanfare at 8:00, the transition would feel better. Just a thought.
  • The exchange with Bail at the end still felt unnatural to me, but I think the idea is sound. The lighting is what seemed off to me most; the shots that focus on Bail and Anakin shaking his head seem like they’re night shots instead of day shots. I’m not sure if that is fixable at all, but if the lighting was similar, I think it would feel more natural.

Thoughts about CLOAK OF DARKNESS

  • In the intro text, I was momentarily confused with the line “He has delivered her to master LUMINARA UNDULI, to help her…” I read it initially as “Ahsoka would master some skill”, instead of her being delivered/tasked to help Master Luminara Unduli. I think capitalizing Master would alleviate this or adding the word Jedi before master, but if you’re going for a stylistic element like you are with the word “padawan”, I can understand that.
  • I also don’t love the idea that Anakin simply pawns her off right away. I think if you worded it like “Seeking to teach his new padawan patience, he tasks her with helping Master LUMINARA UNDULI” or something like that. That way it would convey the idea that Anakin just wants his padawan to learn from different perspectives. But if that isn’t what you’re going for no worries. Just an opinion!

Overall, I really liked the episodes and how they felt as parts of the larger TCW: Refocused series. The intro and outro music is phenomenal, and I can’t wait to watch Malevolence later tonight!

Post
#1399838
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

So after watching The Death Watch episode, there were a couple of possible improvement points I noticed. In general, I think the episode works well! The pacing is faster and the majority of the cuts were natural, so much so that I had trouble discerning where they were. I love the intro music, and the outro music also is nice (if it were a touch less melancholy I think it would be perfect). So a few nitpicks (apologies if they’ve been said before):

  • the music over the intro and the end credits is noticeably louder than the rest of the episode audio
  • An establishing planet shot might help the transition between the episode title and the opening scene
  • at 14:55, Obi-Wan says “Satine, look out!” or something to that effect. To me Obi-Wan’s line feels a hair early, this might be fixed if it was a hair later?
  • After Obi-Wan and Satine return from Concordia there’s little to no explanation why they’re getting on a ship. Unfortunately, this is how the original first episode ended, and the voice over for the next one explained that Satine was going to the Senate? So I’m not sure how that one would be fixed, might just have to infer based on later scenes.
  • I felt like the spider droids could have used a touch more suspense, maybe include the short shot of the spider droid climbing out of the crate, or something to that effect?

Take all of the above with a grain of salt though! I was much more entertained by your cut than the original episodes, and agreed with the excess you cut. Nice work!

Post
#1396446
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

I’m probably a little late on suggestions, but here’s some thoughts! On my first watch I felt the intro music was a little too mellow. Music that falls tonally somewhere between the standard Clone Wars intro music and what you used in the demo clip would feel a bit better in my eyes (or ears).

The sequence of intro text, Clone Wars title, then episode title works well, but I would be interested to see how different ordering feels, especially if you are doing a cold open format. The outro music and credits with the concept art is perfect. I wouldn’t change that at all. Great job!

Post
#1395211
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!]
Time

I think the ordering you presented is brilliant, especially with the balancing of character development and the thought you’ve given to Ahsoka’s arcs and how each one shows different aspects of her character. I do think the idea that certain Domino Squad arcs could be used as flashbacks could work well, provided the pacing still works. Really excited about all the ordering and where things lie currently!