smudger9

Peter Pan said:

So, here are my thaughts after watching the complete first act.

The general structure works just fine and has a good flow to it. Also, the dialogue change from Corellia to Seatos had me baffled. I knew it was coming, but it sounded so clean that I didn’t notice the change.

The only piece that really stood out to me was Shin’s sudden appearance on Lothal. But I suppose you cut her send-off to Lothal because you eliminated the droid battle at the temple. Speaking of which, I liked that you dropped the fight, but maybe you could add Ahsoka’s attempt to contact Huyang back in. The cut to the cockpit felt a little quick.

Other than that, I would suggest reworking the “end”. The scene with Sabine’s hologram feels redundant. I think it would be better if we had her suit up and join Ahsoka at the painting. This way you wouldn’t need to mention the Corellia mission as an excuse for the hologram.

I imagine a scene order like this could work.

-Dissection of the droid’s brain; cut right after the mention of Seatos

-Space Stonehenge

-Huyang and Sabine chat in the med bay followed by her gear up

-The arrival of the energy core

-Sabine joins Ahsoka at the painting

Alternatively, I would consider cutting both the med bay chat and the arrival of the energy core and revert back to a version of the “Brain surgeon” scene that has Hera cheer up Sabine. The arrival of the energy core scene simply does not add anything and you would save the reveal of the ship until the heroes discover it themself.

Thanks for the feedback.
I agree that Shin’s appearance on Lothal is sudden, but as you say, in order to cut the Ahsoka-droid battle I also need to cut the scene where Morgan, Baylan and Shin appear at the temple remains. I may well have to put those scenes back in. I cut them primarily to avoid having consecutive light saber-heavy scenes.

I like the idea of cutting the energy core scene and may run with that by moving the Seatos map scene there instead. The only issue that creates is having to run multiple separate Lothal scenes together.

The Sabine hologram scene feels essential to me. We have the unexplained history of Sabine ending her training so I feel we need that little scene as the turning point in her relationship with Ahsoka - they’re putting the past behind them and reuniting to find Ezra. It a very short scene so has no impact on runtime and it provides a spacer between Sabine suiting up in her apartment and appearing at the mural.

I agree that I may need to put the Huyang-Sabine med bay scene back in to show why Sabine decides to re-start her training.

szopman said:

So, I could watch only the first ~40min.
Unfortunately I probably won’t be able to watch the rest until the weekend.

Nevertheless, I wanted to share some insights:
-above all, I love how you edited the fight between Sabine and Shin. Now its way better, Sabine still got injured but she doesn’t get impaled with the lightsaber. Once again you proved what a skillfull and creative editor you are! 😉 Great job!
-overall, I’m happy with all the unnecessary stuff you cut. Tho I still believe that almost everything from those two eps could be cut 😄

I also wanted to comment the opening crawl and the title.
-I think that the white “Ahsoka” logo doesn’t compose well with the rest of the crawl. Maybe it would be possible to make it yellow, as the rest of the crawl? Alternatively, you could just name Star Wars: Heir to the Empire.
-btw, talking about the title, I don’t mind it, but it’s very probable that Dave Filoni’s movie will end up being titled “Heir to the Empire”. So maybe it’d be good to find some alternative title.
-Also, since you will probably end up with only one movie for “Ahsoka”, and considering the fact that this is a limited series, with no plans for s02 (for now at least), maybe it would make more sense to skip “Episode I” part for now? Again, it could be just “Star Wars - Ahsoka - HTTE” or “Star Wars - HTTE”.

Tbh I think the original “Ahsoka” crawl wasn’t bad, maybe you’d reconsider using it? Or just to modify it/create a similar one instead of the classic SW yellow one?

And regarding your previous answer to my post, I think that you are right that story-wise those episodes make a good first act (especially if you aim to create a coherent, 3-act movie).
Tho entertainment-wise, those episodes would be out xD

I guess 2nd and 3rd acts will be more tricky, as the episodes 4 and 5, although far from perfect, have a lot of cool content that are the kind of entertainment that the SW fans love. I’m wondering if it’s even possible to reduce them to less than 50-55min (the robots fight, Baylan vs Ahsoka, Baylan/Sabine, Anakin stuff, Ahsoka the white reborn, the whole space whales stuff).

I’m very curious to see how it all will end up (both the show and your movie edit) 😉

Thanks for the feedback. I definitely agree with your points about the logo, title etc. The current Ahsoka logo, title and crawl are placeholders.

I’m going to bring the Ahsoka movie together with my Mando and BOBF edits under one banner which will likely be “The New Republic”. Ahsoka is likely to slot in before Mando season 3 as episode 4. The logo will be something along these lines

The tile is also a placeholder… I’m currently favouring “A Threat from Beyond”.

The crawl itself is based on the crawl from the series but modified to fit better with the 3 paragraphs of (ideally) 6 lines we see in the classic crawls. The final crawl won’t be done until the series is complete because the emphasis of the crawl may need to change. It is also likely to be red in colour to match the logo.

WitchDR said:

Would love to check out the first cut!

Cheers!

Warhorn said:

I would love to see that first cut! Could I have a link please? 😃

Cheers Warhorn. PM Sent

szopman said:

smudger9 said:

I agree. The more episodes we see, the more it moves towards a single movie. Annoyingly I think it will end up being sat between one and two movies. CrossVader is correct in that episodes 4/5 work as either an ESB-style ending or a middle act of a single movie, but its doubtful that episodes 6 to 8 will be enough for one movie.

I don’t like the idea of a really harsh cut of the first 2 episodes, because I love the introduction of the characters and there is some essential exposition in there, particularly if you haven’t seen Rebels.

I’m currently working with a faster paced edit of the first 2 episodes with the Correlia scenes cut. Sabine examines the droid head and reveals that it came from Seatos. This gets us to Seatos after 55mins. The next challenge is really tightening up episodes 3 to 5 which I think could be condensed down to about 45min, leaving an hour for the last 3 episodes… might be doable!

It’s your project and of course you will edit it the way you feel works best for you, but, I’m really surprised that you prefer to cut heavily eps 3-5 (especially that she far eps 4 and 5 seem to be the best ones of the 5 released eps) instead of the episode 1 and 2.

I think that even if you cut 90% of those first two eps, you can still have the introduction of Baylon and Shin. Regarding the introduction of the Rebels crew and the dynamics between Ahsoka and Sabine, I really believe that the episode 3 have it all. In my opinion, those who already know Rebels, won’t be confused at all, they know too well who’s who. And those who never watched Rebels - well, I think that they will feel they missed something anyway (in whatever format they choose to watch “Ahsoka”).

But again, your previous edits proved that you know what you’re doing 😉

Also, luckily, there s a lot of useless material that can be easily cut from the episode 5 ( we don’t really need those long and slow scenes with Jacen and Hera). One short scene with Jacen sensing Ahsoka would be enough. I think that this episode can be cut to 25-30min without a problem.

Then, if you decided to do a more “harsh” cut of the first two episodes, and considering some necessary cuts and trims for eps 3 and 4, you’d probably have a nice 60-70min I act (/1st half) of the movie. Then, there would be less to cut from eps 6-8 which will probably be the most crucial ones (I imagine that the creme de la creme will be those 3 last episodes).

Anyway, I ll be happy to check this edit anyway once it comes out as the show itself is not really rewatchable for me so far 😉

I just feel that as far as a movie structure is concerned, the first one and a half episodes give us a perfect first act, which I’ve edited down to 60mins.

• Intro to the villains
• Step-wise introduction to our three main heroes (Ahsoka, Hera & Sabine) with crucial backstory.
• References to Thrawn and Ezra who will (presumably) be the centre of act 3.
• Our first Villain-Hero confrontation where the villain wins.
• Sabine and Ahsoka reuniting in a call to action.

Episodes 3, 4 and 5 don’t actually do much legwork in terms of the story, the pace is really slow and there is a lot of scene repetition. A slower-paced second act is what I always aim for, but not quite this slow. In those 3 episodes all that needs to happen is:

• A short Jedi training sequence.
• Our heroes discover the villains’ plan (hyperdrive).
• Thay fail in their attempt to retrieve the map and prevent the villains from using the hyperdrive.
• The Villains escape.
• Ahsoka has an epiphany.

It really isnt much and should occupy no more than 45mins of screentime, unfortunately the episodes are constructed in a way that makes cutting out the required material very difficult. Ashoka’s costume change in EP3 is a big annoyance.

I have uploaded a first cut of act 1 if anyone is interested in a viewing and offering feedback. All welcome.

Ulbert said:

Hello smudger9, I am curently cuting together New sequel trilogy which will consist of the Favreau-Filoni TV show (Mando, TBOBF and Ahsoka). I’d like to make Episode VII - A New Dawn, which will be a mix of season 1 and season 2 of The Mandalorian but I’m stuck with in dle middle of my edit. I’d like to know if there’s a chance to see your legendary edits (and take inspirations from your). If it’s not a problem, would you send me links for them? Thank you.

Sure thing. PM sent

MRConmen said:

Am i able to get a link? Would love to watch your cuts with the other half

Thanks in advance

PM sent

GLogus said:

Smudger, I watched this edit again and just can’t believe how much of an improvement it is over the original. I simply can’t give enough praise. However, have you ever thought about ending Episode 3 with Mando leaving the armor with Ahsoka to pass on to Grogu, and saving the Luke/Grogu stuff for the beginning of Episode 4?

Thanks so much!

I have considered restructuring episodes 2, 3 and 4 and it’s something I’ll go back to after Ahsoka is finished. I think everyone can agree that the Grogu-Luke reunion was done extremely poorly in the series and it’s trying to decide at what point this occurs in the edits. Much to ponder!

ig1993 said:

Is there a version with subtitles included?

Sorry, no there isn’t.

PMs sent

PMs sent

GFiMontis said:

I would love to watch all 3 edits 😃

PM sent… I edited the season into 2 movies rather than 3 😊.

I agree. The more episodes we see, the more it moves towards a single movie. Annoyingly I think it will end up being sat between one and two movies. CrossVader is correct in that episodes 4/5 work as either an ESB-style ending or a middle act of a single movie, but its doubtful that episodes 6 to 8 will be enough for one movie.

I don’t like the idea of a really harsh cut of the first 2 episodes, because I love the introduction of the characters and there is some essential exposition in there, particularly if you haven’t seen Rebels.

I’m currently working with a faster paced edit of the first 2 episodes with the Correlia scenes cut. Sabine examines the droid head and reveals that it came from Seatos. This gets us to Seatos after 55mins. The next challenge is really tightening up episodes 3 to 5 which I think could be condensed down to about 45min, leaving an hour for the last 3 episodes… might be doable!

EddieDean said:

That’s a really good point about AI voice lines RogueLeader, especially since there’s LOADS of Mando and Boba dialogue, plus so many of these characters speak with helmets on.

AI voices are a bit of a game changer. I’m not sure the tech is good enough (yet) for widespread plot changes, but its certainly adequate to aid more minor editing.

Here is a clip from my Bad Batch edit. 2 short AI voice insertions to get the Batch straight to Ord Mantell after escaping Kamino.

https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/863255478

The tech isn’t perfect as I couldn’t get an adequate “Ord Mantell” in Hunter’s voice so I left the J19 reference in place. [Its only mentioned once in a random Clone Wars episode, so most viewers won’t know that J19 is Saleucemi, not Ord Mantell).

aGreatHumanBeing said:

I loved your two first episodes of this show and would really appreciate a link to Ep3 (and Ep4!) of Mando 😃

Thanks for your great work!

PM sent

GLogus said:

I know I’m late to the party, but WOW was that good! The perfect audio transitions alone speak to how masterful this edit is. The beginning felt a little too fast paced, as we are no longer given a proper introduction to the Mandalorian, but after the first 20 minutes or so, the pacing hits a good stride and the rest of the movie is more or less perfect.

Thanks Globus. I spend a lot (probably too much) time getting the audio transitions right, often rebuilding the audio to do it.

In terms of the first act, it is fast paced opening on Arvala, but
it was crucial in achieving a single movie edit from Season 1.

c0rpze said:

I am enjoying the Ahsoka series so far. You can tell, Feloni had a great mentor as the series treads on familiar ground but manages to feel completely new. I also really like that Feloni is bringing us the Witches of Dathomir to live action, giving it a proper dark theme with occult-like and medieval elements. I agree with what has been said about the show however. The longer expositions in some scenes could be trimmed down but it needs to have the right balance. It might be overbearing for the viewer if the story moves too quickly.I don’t like whiplash films à la JJ Abrams. The films needs to maintain the sense of adventure for the viewer. What I liked about the pilot episode for example was when Ahsoka was on the mission to locate the map. The way it was directed and shot reminded me of how much I enjoy the original Indiana Jones trilogy. The feeling of discovery and being part of an adventure, without having a character explain everything directly to you, is imo great direction.
Smudger, I am a huge fan of your Mando cuts and have no doubt that you’ll nail a fantastic Ahsoka film. Adding the OG Star Wars crawl aligns it with the remaining films of the entire SW saga and I’m all for keeping the introduction of Baylan and Shin. The feeling of watching Star Wars in excitement is baked into that introduction alone and would be amiss if it wasn’t included. That reminds me, I think I had mentioned in the past that it would have been a good idea to keep most of Ashoka’s actions in your Mando cut. I believe you were working on runtime and your focus was to trim down the film as much as possible. I think Ahsoka’s Mando Episode is highly important now as it gives us a view into how she confronted and captured Morgan Elsbeth. I’m not sure if or how you’ll tackle that because it will also bring back the spear made of Beskar, Din obtains.
Lastly, I might be the only one to say that I liked the red opening crawl. It felt dark and ominous and signaled the start of a new era in my eyes. Though, it would also be a shame if it wasn’t replaced by the famous SW crawl. It has a character of its own and would surely be missed.

The Ahsoka/Morgan Elspeth confrontation will definitely need to be put back in now 😞. It doesn’t impact the running time of EP2 too much, I just didn’t like how it slowed down the primary plot of Mando seeking the Jedi. I have been toying with cutting Din from the scene and using it as the opening scene of the Ahsoka movie. However, it doesn’t solve the Beskar spear plot hole and it doesn’t quite flow well enough with the Ahsoka series.

szopman said:

smudger9 said:

szopman said:

Smudger9, did you maybe consider combining Ahsoka and “The Mandalorian” into one film series?

It seems eventually all those shows will lead to one big crossover event - Dave Filoni’s movie.

Plus, Ahsoka already appeared in your previous “Mando” films and Thrawn’s return was hinted there before.

So, if you made them all just “Star Wars” films, this one would just be a continuation of some storylines that started in the previous stories.

Absolutely. Lucasfilm updated their Eras timeline this week so I’ll probably go with “The New Republic” as the logo for these. I’ll wait for the end of the Ahsoka series before committing to this and I’ll also need to tinker with my Mando S2 to include the now essential Ahsoka/Morgan confrontation.

EP1: Mando S1
EP2: Mando S2
EP3: Ahsoka S1 P1
EP4: Ahsoka S2 P2
EP5: BOBF
EP6: Mando S3

EP1: Mando S1
EP2: Mando S2
EP3: Ahsoka S1 P1
EP4: Ahsoka S2 P2
EP5: BOBF
EP6: Mando S3

Did you consider maybe intercutting Ahsoka with TBOBF and Mando s03 to have one coherent story with the same protagonists?
If I remember correctly, you weren’t 100% happy with the Mando/Ahsoka/Luke stuff being the last act of your third Mando movie.

Maybe you could make it the beginning of the -let’s call it-movie4? We have there Ahsoka and Mando meeting, Mando and Grogu reunion and from there, both protagonists, Ahsoka and Mando go their way and in both storylines, the return of Thrawn is heavily mentioned. And in both storylines we have Carson as a recurring character. So maybe it would make sense to make it two movies with Ahsoka and Mando stories intercutting (like the one you did with Boba and Mando) with the big finale being probably the return of the admiral Thrawn.

Or just add the Luke/Ahsoka/Mando part to the movie 4, as a prologue, and then add some scenes from the first episope of “Ahsoka” to your movie edit of Mando s03. You could even end it with a nice cliffhanger, of Baylon and Shin rescuing Morgan and then the next movie could be Ahsoka-centered.

The problem with that plan is that the two storylines don’t come back together. Whilst it may work in terms of having a chronological cut, it wouldn’t really work for a movie ending.

evilash1 said:

Sounds great.
Could I get the link?
Thanks!

PM Sent

WitchDR said:

She obviously appears more wounded than she should be, but it may be the best that can be done. You’d also need to remove the hole in her shirt on her back.

I think it’s a far better solution than leaving the stab in though.

I’ve watched it back a few times and it now feels like Sabine has more of an emotional collapse as she sees help arriving. Shin still clearly wins the duel, so that plot point is retained.
It seems to work and I’ll edit out references to the lightsaber injury in the medical bay.

liambrazier said:

Not in front of the episode but could the space walk be cut by going from Shin saying “almost got them” to Morgan when they’ve lost sight of them, straight to them landing on the planet like they used the chance to slip away?

It’s a possibility. I haven’t sat down to mess around with episode 3 yet, that’s a job for this weekend. The main continuity issue is Ashoka’s outfit change. If it wasn’t for that, cutting the space walk would be easy 😞.
This may be something that doesn’t become clear until the season is completed… we will probably get more footage of Ahsoka in her standard outfit in the cockpit with Sabine that can be cut in.

Here is my attempt to remove Sabine’s lightsaber injury. The audio is just central channel so not complete, I’m just seeing what the general consensus is with the cut.

https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/860341775

Matt.F said:

Maybe going from a reworded crawl straight to the Corellia scene as an opener could be a radical approach? The crawl can have the ‘Rebels gang’ of Ahsoka, Sabine and Hera together and unified from the off, and investigating suspicious Imperial activity at the shipyards. The encounter with the Sith and the tracker on the engine part then leads them on into the rest of the plot.

That would do away with all the tedious (and unnecessary) scenes of Ahsoka and Sabine being estranged, and do away with the silly Rubiks cube map.

If you’re looking to cut a big sizable chunk off the run time to make the series movie length then that could work?

I think that’s too radical for now. There is a lot of good material in the opening episode, and essential if you haven’t seen Rebels.

CourtlyHades296 said:

Now that there’s a physical version, this edit can be submitted to fanedit.org once it uses the discs as a source.

Absolutely, although it can’t be submitted until the physical disc is available to buy, which is Dec 12th.

It looks like you’ve downloaded the Dolby Vision version, which has muted colours. You need to download a non-DV 4K file. There are plenty out there.