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ricarleite

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Join date
9-Apr-2004
Last activity
21-Aug-2020
Posts
6,592

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Post
#140221
Topic
Team_Warb Secret HQ(was: FrobozzCo (was :WARBLER., INC.™©®))
Time
Originally posted by: Warbler
that maybe how major companies work. But, I am unconvinced that, that is the best way for WARBLER., INC.™©® to go.


Don't worry boss. I got rid of those India and Sri Lanka programmers (not, not like that)... I hired this 10 year old genius now. He does all the job for comic books and chocolate milk.
Post
#139638
Topic
Team_Warb Secret HQ(was: FrobozzCo (was :WARBLER., INC.™©®))
Time
They are part of the "Third World Country IT Developing Move" program, which is set to move all those tedious and time-comsuming tasks such as programming and filling up programm specifications to people in Brazil, Peru, Suriname, India, Sri Lanka, Madacasgar, Somalia, Vietnan, North Korea and Cuba. We hire fifty thousand people aged 12 to 17 with no experience with computers at all, paying all of those people 10 dollars a week. The 50 thousand people get the 10 dollars a week, divided between themselves. With all those people, SOME good coding actually comes out - it's a variant on the "infinite monkeys writing the perfect novel" theory. THAT'S how the major companies work.
Post
#139619
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Time
My favorites are:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security
alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the
foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time
together. All together now....'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall...'".

"We are now travelling through Baker Street, as you can see Baker Street is
closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could
tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that".

"Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause...) "Oh go on then, stuff
yourselves in like sardines, see if I care...."


LOL

Yoda, are you serious, do they actually speak like that at the London tube? Surely makes delays or problems more bearable, makes sense... but can they actually say the F word?!
Post
#139616
Topic
Team_Warb Secret HQ(was: FrobozzCo (was :WARBLER., INC.™©®))
Time
Well, I don't know boss, a reactor shaft may come in handy when we need to dispose of those uh... finished business. Plus, along with paintings and plants, it looks great in an office, it's a good decoration piece. Besides, there's extra room on the IT office since I've desmissed all the software engineers and hired extrremely cheap programmers from India and Sri Lanka to do the job from their own place.
Post
#139665
Topic
Revolution Controller SERIOUSLY REVEALED! NO JOKE!
Time
Quote

Originally posted by: starkiller
Quote

Originally posted by: ricarleite
Yes that would be very nice. Or, imagine this, a Mario Party game in which you have to pass the controller in hands very fast - like a bomb - and if it "exploded" in your hands you lost (since it has an in-built rumble pack, that would be cool). Imagine the possibilities... I mean, of course it must have a regular controller with it, but the "remote" thing is pretty neat.
High-tech Hot Potato.


Yes... hot potato. I didn't know if you guys had that game over there.
Post
#139539
Topic
Wal-Mart gets Star Wars bonus disc for ROTS
Time
Originally posted by: booah
Clicking on it to enlarge the picture, and after a lot of squinting to make out what it says on the sticker:

The title of the bonus disc: The Story of Star Wars.

Sticker: R2-D2 and C-3P0's chronicles of Luke and Anakin Skywalker
Almost __ minutes of additional content
. (can't decipher how many minutes)


Must be 2.

So I see even Lucasfilm is being overruled by Wall-Mart's unethical strategies, eh?
Post
#139442
Topic
Revolution Controller SERIOUSLY REVEALED! NO JOKE!
Time
Yes that would be very nice. Or, imagine this, a Mario Party game in which you have to pass the controller in hands very fast - like a bomb - and if it "exploded" in your hands you lost (since it has an in-built rumble pack, that would be cool). Imagine the possibilities... I mean, of course it must have a regular controller with it, but the "remote" thing is pretty neat.

I can be pretty sure one of the first released games will be WarioWare Revolution, with several minigames such as "chopp the vegetables", and you use the controller as a knife, or "make the coke can burst", where you have to shake the virtual coke can to make it burst when opened, or "paint the fence", in which the controller is a birtual brush and you "paint" the screen, all in 5 seconds... Heheheh should be quite fun.
Post
#139380
Topic
Team_Warb Secret HQ(was: FrobozzCo (was :WARBLER., INC.™©®))
Time
Nooo, Warbler, you didn't understand. What I meant is:

Let's say WE, and I'm letting Warbler INC (™©® patent pending all rights reserved) out of the example, hire CHALTAB to murder himself. He agrees, but he hires an incompetent firm ("Empresa de Assessinos Limitada de Nicaragua y Republica Dominicana" would be a good example) to do the job for a lower price. See, I was not refering to Warbler INC itself.

Now, he hires them to murder himself for half the price YOU charged. He keeps the other 50% and invest it in something with a high profit return and low risk, like rigged boxing matches or drugs. Now, the contract he had with you and the incompetent firm stated that if he was unable to die within the time range of, let's say, five years, he would return the money, BUT... without any corrections to the value, like he has borrowed money without rates, which would be illegal for a bank to do, but it's not illegal for a service transaction.

So, he makes sure the incompetent firm will not be able to handle the job by making contractual addenduns, or making sure they don't finish the job, by killing their own hitmen or using a bulletproof vest. So, after the five years the incompetent firm must return you the money, the 50%. The other 50% have become 60% by now, thanks to your investments. So Chaltab here returns all the money to you, since he was not able to perform the job, BUT... he keeps those 10% to himself. Now, he goes ahead and do the same again, and again and again... Soon he'll find himself with a lot of money doing nothing.

In no way I was refering to Warbler INC as the incompetent firm at all... Being a Warbler INC proud employee, I champion my company's excelence in it's services.

But this is how some companies work. They hire smaller companies to do the job and keep a profit out of it. If the small companies succeed in their jobs, good. If not, you still have a profit. Small consulting companies also survive iver this method of working... That's how it works, my friends...
Post
#139425
Topic
I hate Relationship
Time
Well I didn't mean it to you, because I didn't know exactly what was your case, but I thought it was a good advice, a good thing to post in such a thread, you know?

Well, what I have to say to you is that things do get sour sometimes, in any kind of relationship. It simply happens, and when it does, it's more productive to first: think logically on what's caused this situation, and second: act accordingly. If you say that you have the blame, and I don't think you did because problems have causes not guilty ones, you should probably analyze what has happened and talk to that person. I know it's hard and I know these things hurt, because they can put you in heaven or hell, emotions that are connected to relationships and to other people, people we care, are very powerful emotions, and they can go up or down.

So my advice is: don't let yourself be demolished or disturbed by this thing. Let your emotions flow naturally, and when you feel you can go ahead, or when you feel you can try to repair what happened, then you go on and move... It's all up to you, you just have to keep your mind in order, and everything else will come up right...
Post
#139344
Topic
Team_Warb Secret HQ(was: FrobozzCo (was :WARBLER., INC.™©®))
Time
Originally posted by: Darth Chaltab
No. That would violate my Prime Directive.

I'm not allowed to take a contract that would lose me money.


Well, you could be hired to murder yourself, and then hire an incompetent company to do the job for a lower price, keeping some profit of the transaction to you, which you will wisely invest. After five years the incompetent company will fail to murder you, and be forced to return the money. By this time, you'll have some profits from that investment, so when you return the money to Warbler, you'll still have a small profit. Keep doing this with a lot of companies for a long time, and you got yourself a fine business. THAT'S how major IT consulting companies work. A little inside tip few people know.
Post
#139383
Topic
Episode III Caption This
Time



"This has never happened to me before, Padme... I... I don't know what..."
"You're not all powerful Anakin..."
"Well I should be! I mean, Yoda is four hunderd years old and he dosen't have this problem."
"He dosen't? How do you know?"
"Uh... Well uh... that's what I heard, you know."
"I see... Well, I belive your little... 'force' problem is due to you always thinking of your mother."
"Awww damn, woman! I was getting in the mood and now that you mentioned my mom, I can't!"
"Well, geez, I'm sorry! Maybe if you thought of Yoda or Palpatine this problem wouldn't happen, eh?"
"Oh you intergalactic slut, what are you suggesting?"
"Well, you DO get all excited when you're with Palpatine! I mean, COME ON, everyone notices it! It's embarassing! He's, like 70 years old!"
"You bitch, shut up! I'm going out. Don't keep yourself wake up waiting for me."
"You're going to Palpatine's office aren't you?"
"N... no! I was going to Yoda's!"
"That's even worse... Jesus... Why did I fall in love with YOU, back in Tatooine, and not with Jar Jar Binks?"
Post
#139382
Topic
I hate Relationship
Time
"If you have been rejected many times in your life, then one more rejection isn't going to make much difference. If you're rejected, don't automatically assume it's your fault. The other person may have several reasons for not doing what you're asking her to do: none of it may have anything to do with you. Perhaps the person is busy or not feeling well or genuinely not interested in spending time with you. Rejections are part of everyday life. Don't let them bother you. Keep reaching out to others. Keep reaching out to others. When you begin to recieve positive responses, then you are on the right track. It's all a matter of numbers. Count the positive responses and for get about the rejections." - Thom York
Post
#139205
Topic
Team_Warb Secret HQ(was: FrobozzCo (was :WARBLER., INC.™©®))
Time
Yay, I got a IT job at a hitmen's almost-illegal company! That's my dream coming true!

Now, I took the liberty of deploying a nice CRM system which will keep track of your costumers, along with how much the owe you. So you'll be able to know the good customers, the customers you might want to make an offer they cannot refuse, the customers you need to cut out the thumbs, the customers in need for a good Kiss of Death, and those customers we might need to wack and bury in the desert. As every muder-associated company (such as the mafia and the hitmen) knows, it is more expensive to bring new customers into the company than wacking those who don't pay in time...

You'll be able to access all those information in a easy user-friendly web-oriented interface!