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ricardo

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Join date
20-Jun-2005
Last activity
20-Aug-2015
Posts
1,290
Web Site
http://sensrhps.livejournal.com/

Post History

Post
#225642
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/225642/action/topic#225642
Time
28 Rules of Manhood

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion,


The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.
Post
#225457
Topic
WHO LIKES To drink
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/225457/action/topic#225457
Time
Originally posted by: Rikter
Originally posted by: ricardo
I don't smoke marijuana. I did, however, win a brewing contest in Alaska. A friend of mine grows his own and, without my knowing (until later) put some weed in the batch. the beer had a slight earthy aroma to it with a tinge of that pot smell. I'd like to think my brewing prowess won the contest, but i always have a lingering doubt to whether or not the marijuana pushed it over the edge.


I've used it in a few of my brews also!! (used it in a Porter and an IPA )


you brew your own, too? sweet! I haven't done it since i've moved to texas a couple years back. my glass carboy busted in the move, as well my outdoor cooker. I'm hoping to get back into it when my wife starts her new job.

i remember my first beer.. came out almost perfect. it was just an IPA. i tried a cider next (wife doesn't like anything else) and it got infected something fierce. after that I was pretty good at cleaning everything. heh.
Post
#225022
Topic
WHO LIKES To drink
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/225022/action/topic#225022
Time
I don't smoke marijuana. I did, however, win a brewing contest in Alaska. A friend of mine grows his own and, without my knowing (until later) put some weed in the batch. the beer had a slight earthy aroma to it with a tinge of that pot smell. I'd like to think my brewing prowess won the contest, but i always have a lingering doubt to whether or not the marijuana pushed it over the edge.
Post
#225018
Topic
The Things We Hate And Love Thread .
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/225018/action/topic#225018
Time
Originally posted by: Yoda Is Your Father
I hate the last few days.

You may (or may not) have noticed that I haven't been around here for a couple of days. I've been having some REAL trouble with the in-laws. I'm talking no longer welcome in their home trouble. It's partly my fault - I realise now that I have serious depression and anger problems. Well, not so much an anger problem, but I really need to learn when to shut up and not let things get carried away. I think I'm gonna get some councelling. Unfortunately I can't get new in-laws as part of the deal.


you are not alone, yiyf. when we moved to Texas, it was very well the worst move of our lives. being so close to the inlaws doesn't help. they are extremely racist against anything not like them, especially puerto ricans. they don't understand and don't want to understand my culture and life. At least my wife is understanding and we have a bit of give and take. just be glad you are moving halfway across the country in a matter of weeks. we won't be moving for a matter of years. about 3, hopefully.

Hell, I don't even see my in-laws once a month and they live 10 minutes down the road. Their house is a pigpen and, I swear, I'm allergic to their house.

to make a long story short, i hate my inlaws.