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oojason

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5-May-2004
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1-Jul-2025
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Post
#116407
Topic
Star Wars DVD Covers
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/116407/action/topic#116407
Time
^ LMFAO


Now that the Star Wars Sextette (or Sextet or Sextolet) is complete, I wonder if there'll ever be dvd covers for a 6-disc boxset? and if so what, or who, would feature on the covers?

ObiWan, Yoda, Anakin/Vader, The Emperor, C3PO and R2D2 are the only characters I can think of right now that span the 6 films - but Luke, Han, Leia and QuiGonn and perhaps Mace would surely be worthy of inclusion too...
Post
#116408
Topic
So why Define STAR WARS as OT OR PT?
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/116408/action/topic#116408
Time
Hi & Welcome

Um... I think we're all Star Wars fans here, Tony.

Some people on here may have a preference for watching Episodes 4, 5 & 6 over 1, 2 & 3 - or a mixture of sorts of the 6 films. The terms PT & OT are just used for easier reference.

In case you havn't noticed, the name of this site is originaltrilogy.com - by definition this site has more topics on the OT than the PT, though there are many differing discussions on the Prequel Trilogy too - and many do not consist of your 'PT suck 'cos of CGI' statement...

Post
#116127
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/116127/action/topic#116127
Time
I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when your calling for a cab.

I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up to her ass. You know the kind. So I'm in my room and figure, what the hell, I'll give her a call.

"Hello?" the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"



She says,

"That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9."
Post
#116126
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/116126/action/topic#116126
Time

The Bloke's Prayer:-

Our beer...
Which art in bottles
Hallowed be thy sport
Thy will be drunk
I will be drunk
At home as I am in the pub
Give us each day our daily schooners
And forgive us our spillage
As we forgive those who spillest against us
And lead us not into the practice of poofy wine tasting
And deliver us from Tequila
For mine is the bitter
The chicks and the footy
Forever and ever
Barmen

Post
#116125
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/116125/action/topic#116125
Time
A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy".

"The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up. "
Post
#116080
Topic
Ink saver covers?
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/116080/action/topic#116080
Time
ebay.co.uk was the saviour for me regarding dvd cases...

2 6-disc cases £4 delivered - now the the SW 'Sixology' is complete I may as well have a version of all 6 films in one case

5 single disc cases £3 delivered - for the one-off rareities such as Deleted Magic and some of the 2004deSE Edits

4 3-disc cases £4 delivered - always need cases for the differing LD to dvd sets and their differing versions


all decent quality cases
Post
#116131
Topic
Message to Paramount Please fire Rick Berman!
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/116131/action/topic#116131
Time
Jay - according to this - http://www.trekbbs.com/threads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=4577517&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=7&fpart=1

September 6th, though Paramount themsleves have not announced a date yet.

ebay.co.uk have a 'Region 2' dvdr set for £17delivered:-

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=41589&item=6406191072&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW


I loved DS9 and thought the series got stronger (season 6 being my personal fave) as it progressed - it's tributes to TOS are many and very well done.

Trek lost out when TIIC stayed with Berman and discounted the qualities of Moore and the other DS9 execs - seemingly more so now that Morre's done such a promising start on the new Galactica series, and Trek had now gone into a much needed hibernation. Recycled stories and direction that havn't differed from the days of the TNG crew has not paid off during VOY and ENT, and it will not in the future, massive changes are needed for quality Trek for the future...
Post
#115764
Topic
BSG
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/115764/action/topic#115764
Time

Season 2 promo cast pics (Six & Boomer look great as ever):-

http://galactica.emedian.net/gallery.s2.html


Decent BSG forum at www.trekbbs.com too


any news on the region1 season1 dvd boxset? Despite living in the UK I've held off on getting the region2 set in the hope that the USA one will have more extras...
Post
#114993
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/114993/action/topic#114993
Time
Some of you will have already read this from the Fan Editing thread in the General SW forum, but I found it so funny that it deserves a place in here...

(from the superb http://ter.air0day.com/?script=revengeofthesith website)



STAR WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH: THE ABRIDGED
SCRIPT™

By Rod Hilton


FADE IN:

EXT. SPACE

Two NOT-QUITE-TIE-FIGHTERS fly and zoom around, the camera
chasing wildly behind them in a way that only computer
generated scenes can show. We see that they have EWAN
MCGREGOR and HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN in them.

EWAN MCGREGOR
I can hardly tell who is shooting
who in this dizzying space battle
sequence!

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Yeah, it's pretty confusing.

EWAN MCGREGOR
No, I mean literally dizzying!
(vomits)

They fly toward CHRISTOPHER LEE'S SHIP so they can rescue
SUPREME CHANCELLOR IAN MCDIARMID.

EWAN MCGREGOR
Oh no, the hangar has shields up!

HAYDEN shoots something next to the shield and they
deactivate.

EWAN MCGREGOR
The thing that powers the shield is
on the outside of the ship?

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Yeah, it's pretty stupid. It'd be
like a life support system being in
a box on someone's chest.

They land inside the ship and TAKE SOME DROIDS TO SCHOOL.

EWAN MCGREGOR
I sure am enjoying the feeling of
brotherly camaraderie between us.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Yeah, it is nice. Seems like the
sort of thing that should have been
in the last film. Oh well, at least
there were scenes of me rolling
around in the grass.

They make their way toward CHRISTOPHER LEE and IAN
MCDIARMID, using the help of R2D2, who uses his rockets to
fly again, in spite of everyone trying so hard to forget
that ever happened. They find IAN.

IAN MCDIARMID
Help me! I am trapped in a
comfortable chair overlooking all of
the destruction I have wrought!

Suddenly, CHRISTOPHER LEE enters.

CHRISTOPHER LEE
I have been waiting a long time for
a rematch. Now, you will have to
face a stunt double with my face
pasted on!

They DUEL. CHRISTOPHER LEE easily dispatches EWAN. HAYDEN
fights him and eventually KILLS him.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
(furrowing his brow)
Wow, that was it for Christopher
Lee, huh? Seems almost pointless to
have killed Darth Maul and
introduced him in the first place.

HAYDEN, EWAN, and IAN all begin to leave, but they are
CAPTURED and brought before GENERAL GREVIOUS, A ROBOTIC
SKELETON.

GENERAL GREVIOUS
(coughing)
I will now add your lightsabers to
my collection of Star Wars
memorabilia.

He places them inside a VINTAGE 1970'S STAR WARS LUNCH BOX
WITH THERMOS NO RESERVE!!

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Artoo, freak the hell obnoxiously!

He DOES. This distracts everyone long enough for EWAN to get
his LIGHTSABER back. There is a short battle in which an
OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW THAT GREVIOUS IS AS BADASS AS WE'RE
SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE is missed.

GENERAL GREVIOUS
(coughing and wheezing)
I will run like a coward, further
failing to illustrate how
intimidating my character is meant
to be!

HAYDEN crashes the ship to the ground and SAVES EVERYONE.
There is MILD CELEBRATION followed by a cameo by NATALIE
PORTMAN, the linchpin of HAYDEN'S turn to the dark side.

NATALIE PORTMAN
(yawning)
Hayden, I'm pregnant.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
(furrowing his brow)
How can you be sure?

NATALIE PORTMAN
Because in a minute or two I'll
actually be showing. Really.

We cut to HAYDEN having a nightmare about NATALIE giving
birth to a GUNGAN. NATALIE is visibly pregnant now in a
single shot, the only indicator at all that any time has
passed since the previous scene. Nothing happens for a
while, and eventually HAYDEN seeks the advice of IAN
MCDIARMID.

INT. SOME WEIRD OPERA THING

IAN MCDIARMID
You seem worried about Natalie
dying. Also, you're confused about
being a Jedi.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
(furrowing his brow)
They don't want me to fuck Natalie
Portman. That's insanity. Did you
see her in Closer? Holy fuck.

IAN MCDIARMID
Did you know that those who embrace
the Dark Side have a lot of powers
that Jedi do not? For example, they
can influence that midichlorian
bullshit to create life.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Create life? Wait, are you implying
that my supposed virgin birth was--

IAN MCDIARMID
And they can stop others from
dying.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Stop others? Like, if someone force
chokes them and they start to die
because of it hours later?

IAN MCDIARMID
Yup.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
That's distracting enough that I'll
not bother following up on the other
thing you said.

Meanwhile...

EXT. KASHYYK

YODA leads an army of WOOKIEES to fight against DROIDS. The
scene is utterly superfluous and present solely to have a
scene containing WOOKIEES. It also serves to make the STAR
WARS UNIVERSE seem even smaller with more cameos by
characters from the original trilogy.

CHEWBACCA
Nyaaarrrgghh.

EXT. UTAPAU

EWAN MCGREGOR finds out that GENERAL GREVIOUS is hiding on
UTAPAU. He jumps on a RIDICULOUSLY LOUD AND ANNOYING IGUANA.

IGUANA
Shriek! Shriek!

The IGUANA'S sounds are ear-piercing and awful, making the
AUDIENCE MISERABLE during any scene containing it. EWAN
rides it up to GENERAL GREVIOUS and challenges him.

EWAN MCGREGOR
I will attempt to destroy you now,
without waiting for my support
troops to arrive.

GENERAL GREVIOUS
(coughing)
Are you serious? You've lost
literally every single duel you've
been a part of except for the one
with Darth Maul. Hayden constantly
mentions how many times he has saved
you. What have you done in the
entire prequel trilogy so far to
prove that you're actually a decent
fighter?

EWAN MCGREGOR
Hey, I sorta beat Jango Fett. So,
what's with the coughing, do droids
get colds or something?

GENERAL GREVIOUS
(wheezing)
Oh no, see, I'm a cyborg, not a
droid. Check it out, I have an
actual beating heart.

EWAN shoots it and GREVIOUS'S HEAD explodes in a ball of
fire.

EWAN MCGREGOR
That made sense.

INT. CORUSCANT

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN runs up to SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING
JACKSON

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Samuel, I rented the original Star
Wars trilogy from Blockbuster. I'm
pretty sure Ian McDiarmid is a Sith
Lord.

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON
Then it's time to get medieval on
some ass.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Let me come with you.

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON
No, go your room.

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON and some OTHER JEDI go to
see IAN. Meanwhile HAYDEN stares out the window of the JEDI
TEMPLE, toward NATALIE PORTMAN'S APARTMENT. Though he says
nothing, we can see that he is conflicted, trying to decide
between his commitment to the Jedi order and his love for
his wife. NATALIE, at the same time, gazes toward the Jedi
Temple, wondering what will happen to her husband.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
How pathetic is it that the best
acted scene between us is the one in
which we are in separate buildings
and have no lines?

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON enters IAN MCDIARMID'S
CHAMBER.

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON
Ian, you're under arrest for being
a manipulative motherfucker.

IAN MCDIARMID
I got a threshold, Jedi. I got a
threshold for the abuse I'll take.
And right now I'm a race car and you
got me in the red. I'm just saying
that it's fuckin' dangerous to have
a racecar in the fuckin' red. It
could blow.

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON
Oh, you're gettin' ready to blow?

IAN MCDIARMID
I could blow.

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON
Well I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin'
motherfucker, motherfucker! Every
time my fingers touch my lightsaber
I'm Superfly TNT. I'm the Guns of
Navarone.

Suddenly, IAN pulls out his LIGHTSABER. He moves toward the
JEDI, pulls his arm back, aims at a Jedi, kills him, pulls
his blade out, moves toward another, and slowly kills him
too, all while SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON twirls his
lightsaber around pointlessly behind them. Once only SAMUEL
is left, they DUEL. IAN makes silly faces and is eventually
beaten. HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN arrives.

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON
Let me read to you from the book of
Ezekiel for a--

Suddenly, IAN unleashes some force lightning on SAMUEL,
which he absorbs into his lightsaber and somehow pushes back
onto IAN, which causes him to grow old, apprently.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Wow, you really can absorb force
lightning with a lightsaber. Someone
really, really needs to tell Luke
that. Anyway, Ian, I think Samuel is
about to rip you a new one, mind
telling how to save Natalie real
quick?

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON
Fuck that, I'm killing this geezer
now.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
You can't. He must stand trial.
Killing him now would be.. er, well
it would be exactly the same as when
I killed Christoper Lee in the
beginning of the movie.

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON
You're actually right, but I'm
going to kill him anyway.

HAYDEN stops him and IAN throws him out the window, a fall
which no PARTIALLY ELECTROCUTED JEDI CAPABLE OF
SUPER-JUMPING could possibly survive.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
What have I done?
(pause)
I submit myself to your will, Ian.

IAN MCDIARMID
That was fast. Well, now that you
have taken a single, somewhat
justifiable step toward the Dark
Side, there's no turning back. Go
kill all of the Jedi in the temple,
including the children.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Right, go kill the children. Got it.

IAN MCDIARMID
Well, kill everyone, not just--

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
(leaving)
On my way to kill all of the
children now! Whee!

He DOES. The CLONE TROOPERS kill most of the adult Jedi,
while the challenging task of murdering children can only be
undertaken by the DARK LORD OF THE SITH.

EXT. UTAPAU

IAN MCDIARMID appears in a HOLOGRAPH to one of the CLONE
TROOPERS.

IAN MCDIARMID
Execute order 66.

CLONE TROOPER
Kill all shrieking CGI creatures.
(to his troop)
Alright men, shoot down the giant
Iguana.

IAN MCDIARMID
Oh, and order 67.

CLONE TROOPER
Jedi, too. Got it.

They shoot at EWAN, who falls into the water.

CLONE TROOPER
He's dead. Nobody could have
survived that fall. Except a Jedi,
of course.

EWAN MCGREGOR
Jesus, they've become really
stupid. This movie really DOES
bridge the gap between the original
trilogy and the prequel trilogy.

EXT. MYGEETO

Suddenly, all of the clone troopers turn against
KI-ADI-MUNDI and shoot him.

KI-ADI-MUNDI
Oh no, I'm being shot at less than
when the Jedi had to fight all of
the droids at the end of Attack of
the Clones! Somehow, they are
overpowering me, though!
(dies)

CLONE TROOPERS kill all remaining JEDI all over the galaxy.
Meanwhile, HAYDEN travels to MUSTAFAR to kill all of the
separatists. JAR JAR, sadly, is not one of them.

INT. NATALIE PORTMAN'S APARTMENT

EWAN arrives to talk to NATALIE.

EWAN MCGREGOR
Natalie, do you know where Hayden
is? I just saw some security
recordings of the Jedi temple, and
apparently also of Ian McDiarmid's
chamber afterwards. Or beforehand.
Or an alternate universe, perhaps.
Anyway, he was killing children!

NATALIE PORTMAN
Hayden? No! I refuse to entertain
this notion and will dismiss your
concerns outright. Hayden would
never kill children!
(pause)
Oh, wait, unless they were
sandpeople. Then he would kill them.
But he's definitely not a murderer
otherwise.

EWAN stows away on NATALIE'S SHIP as she FLIES to MUSTAFAR.

EXT. MUSTAFAR

NATALIE'S SHIP lands and she runs to HAYDEN.

NATALIE PORTMAN
Hayden! I heard you've gone toward
the dark side! It's not true, is it?
Why are your eyes all red?

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
(furrowing his brow)
You brought Ewan, didn't you? To
actually act well and make me look
wooden and awful!

NATALIE PORTMAN
Of course not! I'm even worse than
you in this movie, why would I bring
someone capable of acting well here?

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
(comically)
Liar!

He chokes her.

NATALIE PORTMAN
(collapsing)
Urk!

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Oh baby, I'm sorry. I only force
choke you because I love you. Come
back to me baby.

EWAN MCGREGOR
Hayden! I know you're not really
evil - you try to look evil by
glowering everywhere, but you really
just wind up looking confused all
the time! Come back to the Jedi
order!

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
From my point of view, the Jedi are
stupid! I mean, really stupid! They
didn't know I was married to
Natalie, which Ian figured out in
seconds. They didn't know Ian was a
Sith. They asked me to get close to
him, knowing full well I am confused
and that he's manipulative. God, the
assassin from Attack of the Clones
allegedly couldn't be sent by
Christopher Lee because "it's not in
his character." Face it, it's a
miracle the Jedi survived this long.

EWAN MCGREGOR
Anti-Jedite!

They DUEL. Then they DUEL some more. Afterwards, they do
some more DUELLING. Then there's another DUEL, a little
DUELLING, and finally a DUEL.

EWAN MCGREGOR
It's over, Hayden. If you jump over
to me, I will cut your shit off.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
You underestimate my power to
decide not to jump to the low ground
in front of you where I will be able
to safely continue duelling, but to
instead try to jump all the way over
you and get my shit cut off!

He JUMPS and gets SLICED AND DICED. Then COMPLETELY BURNED.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Motherfucker!

EWAN MCGREGOR
I'm leaving, Hayden! Even though
you are writhing in agony, I won't
do the humane thing and put you out
of your misery. You're the dick,
though.

He leaves. IAN arrives shortly after.

IAN MCDIARMID
Take him back to Coruscant so we
can put him in the big black life
support suit that I just so happen
to have laying around for just such
an occasion.

They DO.

INT. POLIS MASSA HOSPITAL ROOM

A CGI MEDICAL DROID is delivering NATALIE'S CHILDREN.
Another CGI DROID talks to EWAN and JIMMY SMITS.

JIMMY SMITS
Jesus, not every scene needs some
digital character in them. She's
giving birth, can't we leave at
least a FEW frames of the film free
from CGI bullshit? Hell, Ewan chould
have delivered the twins, that would
be more dramatic.

DIRECTOR GEORGE LUCAS
More what?

MEDICAL DROID
She's dying. She has given up the
will to live.

EWAN MCGREGOR
Given up the will to live? She does
know she has two brand new babies to
live for, doesn't she?

NATALIE has her twins, the order of which creates a
completely unnecessary continuity error for no reason other
than the fact that DIRECTOR GEORGE LUCAS must really enjoy
watching his obsessive fans rationalize obvious flaws. She
DIES.

INT. ALDERAAN CRUISER

YODA, EWAN, and JIMMY discuss what to do with A NEW HOPE.

JIMMY SMITS
I will take the girl. Hey Ewan, if
you know about Leia, how come you
refer to Luke as your last hope in
Empire Strikes Back?

EWAN MCGREGOR
I know about Leia, but Alec Guiness
doesn't.

YODA
Oh, that reminds me! Speaking of
justifying obvious dialogue blunders
created by the fact that George
Lucas didn't actually have all six
films firmly in his mind when he was
making any given one, I need to
train you how to be a force ghost so
you can explain to Luke how Vader
killed his father.

EWAN MCGREGOR
Where should we keep him in the
mean time?

YODA
Take him to his family on Tatooine.

EWAN MCGREGOR
Wait, really? You mean, to hide him
from Hayden and Ian, we're going to
allow him to keep the last name
Skywalker, bring him to Hayden's
birth planet, and put him in the
care of his actual relatives? It
would take like an hour of research
to track him down if the Empire
wanted him.

YODA
Well, go watch over him from really
far away to make sure he's safe.

INT. CORUSCANT IMPERIAL REHAB CENTER

DARTH HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN, in full suit, is situated
upright.

DARTH HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Where's Natalie Portman? Suddenly I
am worried about her again.

IAN MCDIARMID
It seems that in your overacting,
you killed her.

DARTH HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Wow, you'd think that would really
make me see the error of the Dark
Side, realize the Jedi were right
all along, and kill you right now.
Ah well.

IAN MCDIARMID
So, now that the movie is over,
would you say that the prequel
trilogy was worth making?

DARTH HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

END