moviefreakedmind

There was no provoking.

TV’s Frink said:

Jeebus said:

I guess my question is ‘who decides what staring at someone is?’ Could someone conceivably get in trouble for staring at something behind someone else? What if someone’s just staring into space, but someone else thinks they’re being stared at?

Come on.

It’s a totally reasonable point.

TV’s Frink said:

moviefreakedmind said:

TV’s Frink said:

When I was first dating my now wife, we used to go to something called a mall to people watch. We’d sit up on the upper level and watch people down below to see what they were doing, what stores they stopped at, the weird things they were wearing, etc. It was a nice way to spend no money while having some fun conversation and learning about each other.

I think it’s hilarious that anyone would equate this with staring at the secretary all day.

It’s not much different if you really think about the concepts. Both are incredibly weird and “creepy” if you want to misuse that word. Either way you’re looking at some innocent person who is minding his own business. It’s just that in one situation you’re on the upper level looking down and mocking the clothes of people on the lower level and in the other you’re in a corporate shithole looking at a poor secretary that wished she’d chosen a less demeaning career. In reality, however, it’s actually true that watching people can be creepy, and other times it isn’t creepy. What if you just looked at the secretary for five seconds, and not all day? What about six? What about 4.99 seconds? What if you looked at her for five seconds with a normal expression on your face while someone else looked at her for three and a half seconds with a really threatening look on his face? How about everyone minds their own damn business while simultaneously not freaking the fuck out when some person looks at them? How about that?

This is ridiculous.

Why? Personally, if someone was watching me at the mall I’d be fucking disturbed, or at the very least pissed off enough to commit violence, and I’d be disgusted at the idea of wasting my time sitting with someone and watching others. That’s my subjective take on it, but something tells me that you aren’t clamoring to make life more comfortable for me. And you shouldn’t be. I wish no one on the planet would ever look at me again, in fact, but I realize how selfish and dumb it is to expect people to pander to my hangups. It’s no one’s responsibility to ensure anyone else’s comfort. No one should be expected to alter their totally harmless actions in order to make other people less uncomfortable.

Wow. Divination is also a Satanic power, by the way.

Mrebo said:

moviefreakedmind said:

I agree with all of this. My problem is that anyone that stares at an innocent person for prolonged periods of time are beyond saving. There’s no help for them. I don’t think we should start restricting ourselves based on those people’s defects.

Harsh.

It’s no more harsh then what anyone here is saying about people that stare. They’re the ones saying they’re creepy as fuck and are harassing people.

flametitan said:

moviefreakedmind said:

TV’s Frink said:

Five seconds spent staring at someone is an eternity if they know you’re looking. I don’t know what else to say.

Everyone gets that, but I don’t like making a rule out of it. Especially since the worst it can do is make someone a bit uncomfortable. What about autistic people and people with social disorders? It can be hard for them to know what makes people uncomfortable. Aren’t we supposed to be accommodating? Maybe I’m just bitter, because I actually was harassed once, and guess what? No one cared. So fuck all these people and their arbitrary rules that won’t help anything.

I can’t speak for other autistic people, but for me at least the issue is making eye contact, rather than about keeping it for too long. It’s harder to read body language, but not impossible. Even then, I do what I can to be conscious about how my actions may be perceived. My disability is not an excuse to be socially inept.

Well, staring doesn’t necessarily mean eye contact.

Which Darwinian theories aren’t Satanic? Is he saying that the ones that allow for evolution from species to species are satanic but the ones that only micro-evolution, like the beaks of finches, are not satanic? Is that what he’s getting at?

Collipso said:

i feel bad if i stare at someone for more than 3ish second, if i don’t have a more intimate relationship to the person. it is pretty creepy for the person on the receiving side.

to stare at someone you’re not intimate with (not necessarily someone you’re in a relationship with, friends and family members too) for more than 3 seconds is at least weird.

take one’s secretary for example. theoretically the professional relationship is the biggest part of the someone’s relationship with their secretary, which is definitely not intimate enough for one to stare at that person for 5 seconds. and the secretary is theoretically the coworker one’s the closest with, so this definitely applies to the rest of one’s coworkers.

but the quintessential example is someone staring at someone in the bus/train/whatever. pretty weird.

I agree with all of this. My problem is that anyone that stares at an innocent person for prolonged periods of time are beyond saving. There’s no help for them. I don’t think we should start restricting ourselves based on those people’s defects.

Jeebus said:

I guess my question is ‘who decides what staring at someone is?’ Could someone conceivably get in trouble for staring at something behind someone else? What if someone’s just staring into space, but someone else thinks they’re being stared at?

That’s exactly what I was thinking. I don’t like giving people more reasons to play the victim.

TV’s Frink said:

When I was first dating my now wife, we used to go to something called a mall to people watch. We’d sit up on the upper level and watch people down below to see what they were doing, what stores they stopped at, the weird things they were wearing, etc. It was a nice way to spend no money while having some fun conversation and learning about each other.

I think it’s hilarious that anyone would equate this with staring at the secretary all day.

It’s not much different if you really think about the concepts. Both are incredibly weird and “creepy” if you want to misuse that word. Either way you’re looking at some innocent person who is minding his own business. It’s just that in one situation you’re on the upper level looking down and mocking the clothes of people on the lower level and in the other you’re in a corporate shithole looking at a poor secretary that wished she’d chosen a less demeaning career. In reality, however, it’s actually true that watching people can be creepy, and other times it isn’t creepy. What if you just looked at the secretary for five seconds, and not all day? What about six? What about 4.99 seconds? What if you looked at her for five seconds with a normal expression on your face while someone else looked at her for three and a half seconds with a really threatening look on his face? How about everyone minds their own damn business while simultaneously not freaking the fuck out when some person looks at them? How about that?

TV’s Frink said:

moviefreakedmind said:

TV’s Frink said:

Five seconds spent staring at someone is an eternity if they know you’re looking. I don’t know what else to say.

Everyone gets that, but I don’t like making a rule out of it.

No one made a rule about it. I’m not sure why you keep saying this.

It’s on the table. And you seem totally in favor of such policing of people’s behavior. I’m also opposed to the whole concept of this. Corporate suits telling people how to act makes me uncomfortable. And since we’re all supposed to care about uncomfortable everyone is…

DominicCobb said:

I would definitely consider anyone who stares at someone for more than five seconds to be “socially inept.”

#metoo

Socially inept people aren’t going anywhere, though. Another problem is that sometimes you can be looking at something else and someone might just think you’re looking at them. There are so many obvious ways that this line of thinking lacks nuance and is unfair.

Yeah, Trump does not care about this. He’ll offer some unsolicited prayer and then do nothing.

Wasn’t planning on it.

TV’s Frink said:

At least five shot dead at a newspaper. Just wonderful.

http://www.capitalgazette.com/news/annapolis/bs-md-gazette-shooting-20180628-story.html

This isn’t a surprise and this will not end until we enact strict gun control. So since our so-called leaders aren’t going to do that, then I’d rather they not even pretend to care. And the first politician to offer prayer better hope I’m not around to kick their ass.

TV’s Frink said:

Five seconds spent staring at someone is an eternity if they know you’re looking. I don’t know what else to say.

Everyone gets that, but I don’t like making a rule out of it. Especially since the worst it can do is make someone a bit uncomfortable. What about autistic people and people with social disorders? It can be hard for them to know what makes people uncomfortable. Aren’t we supposed to be accommodating? Maybe I’m just bitter, because I actually was harassed once, and guess what? No one cared. So fuck all these people and their arbitrary rules that won’t help anything.

I love Lovecraft.

Tempting, but the people that have no direct effect on me are safe.

No, I’d just make people I don’t like disappear.

TV’s Frink said:

You guys are amazing. I’d like you to go out and actually do this shit and see what happens and see how far your posturing gets you then.

Do what? Stare at someone? It depends on how you do it. I look at people from afar if they’re doing something intriguing to me. I never let it be obvious though. And don’t pretend that you don’t people watch.

TV’s Frink said:

moviefreakedmind said:

I don’t condone staring, but setting fascist a time-limit is dehumanizing and insulting, and I’d quit whatever company imposed such an arbitrary restriction on me.

Ok but they didn’t do that. And five seconds is a loooooooooong time to stare at someone. They’re making a point - don’t be a creep. And clearly they need to make that point because some people somehow don’t get it. As evidence, I present this thread.

Five seconds isn’t that long. Especially not in a setting where people are interacting with each other. There are a lot of reasons to look at somebody. There are a lot of times where I’ll be staring in someone’s general direction and not even realize it. I’d rather just take things on a case by case basis rather than institute some bullshit rule that will punish far more innocent people than it will actual harassers. I also hate the notion that looking at someone is harassment. How about this? Any action that literally causes no harm whatsoever to another human being isn’t harassment, even if it’s creepy.

TV’s Frink said:

And it’s hard to take any post seriously that uses the word “microaggresion.”

Microaggression was a word invented by these people. It’s probably in the vocabulary of the people in charge of Netflix’s HR policy.

Might as well call someone who was harassed a snowflake while you’re at it.

What if they’re behaving like one?

I don’t condone staring, but setting fascist a time-limit is dehumanizing and insulting, and I’d quit whatever company imposed such an arbitrary restriction on me.

Yeah, it’s great.

Everyone is operating under the delusion that we’re all supposed to care what harmless actions make people uncomfortable. No one cares what makes me uncomfortable, so I don’t care what makes anyone else uncomfortable. And I hate every single person on this planet that expects me to care about their comfort.

I love the black magic kind of Satanism, like Tarot cards and Aleister Crowley’s “Magik.” It’s a lot of fun. I also really love the character of Satan.