littlev87

“Taking her woke Palpatine up to the fact that any of his followers could simply take a clone of his at any time and betray him. This is why he wants all of them dead.”

I guess that could be assumed by the audience, maybe? You would think that if any of his followers could betray him at any point he’d kill all of them too.

“Your second point is a flaw in the original movie. It’s at least made better this way because her parents truly are nobodies, and not related to Palpatine at all. If they can’t give him useful information, then they’re useless.”

yeah it is original, but since he is wearing his mask we could change it to anything. I mean if kylo ren can extract info from poe using the force, surely palpatine could do the same to a couple of nobodies.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

@littlev The problem is that you’re describing exactly why he’d want to keep her alive, not to kill her. There’s also no real character motivations involved. I still prefer Hal’s version which I modified and shared above.

thats assuming that palps can inhabit anyone regardless of their power in the force. This line explains why he would want her killed.

"HE KNEW OUTSIDE OF THE CULT’S INFLUENCE YOU COULD BECOME A THREAT TO HIS RULE, AND YOU HAVE. TOGETHER REY, WE HAVE FORGED AN UNBREAKABLE BOND WITHIN THE FORCE, WE CAN DESTROY HIM.

These two lines really stand out as awkward for me. They are partially why I tried my own rewrite. Also I did my rewrite while I was at work so I couldn’t reference the ascendant edit or the original movie at the time.

“But taking you caught Palpatine’s attention.”

(Did he know she was more special than the other clones being made? Or was she even more special than the other clones? this is why in my version it’s more about the betrayal of the cult than specifically palps. What was stopping him from just making another rey?)

"but Palpatine’s assassins caught up to them, they wouldn’t say where you were… so he gave the order.”

(this is silly because why would palps have occhi kill the only people that knew where rey was? It makes more sense for occhi to kill them because he believed she was on the same ship as them, and they were getting in the way/ fighting back.)

"Rey….wherever you are…You are hard to find.

“You are hard to get rid of.”

“I pushed you in the desert because I needed to see it…I needed you to see it…who you are. DARKNESS RUNS DEEP WITHIN YOU, Rey…”

“You’re lying.”

“You were right…your parents were no one. THEY WERE CONSCRIPTED BY SITH CULTISTS.”

“Don’t!”

“Your barren mother, so desperate for a child. She saw one she could claim.”

“I don’t want this!”

“DESPERATE TO KEEP YOU FOR HERSELF, AND FEARING FOR YOUR FUTURE, TOOK YOU.”

“No!”

“YOUR PARENTS KNEW THEY WOULD BE PURSUED FOR BETRAYING THE CULT.”

(Rey sees the vision of her parents and her abandonment.)
“My Love…be brave.”
“You’ll be safe here…I promise.”
“Come back! Nooo!”

“BUT THEY DIDN’T ANTICIPATE HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE/ WERE.”

“Stop talking.”

“Rey…I learned what happened to them.”

(Cutaway to heroes capture)

"YOUR PARENTS SEARCHED THE GALAXY FOR THE RUMORED JEDI ORDER, KNOWING IT WOULD BE THEIR ONLY HOPE/ SALVATION. WHEN FOLLOWING A LEAD ON JAKKU, THEY WERE AMBUSHED AND FLED TO DRAW AWAY YOUR PURSUERS, ABANDONING YOU ON JAKKU, TO SAVE YOU.

(Rey sees her parents get killed.)

“So that’s where you are.”

“You know why the Emperor’s always wanted you dead. I’ll come tell you.”

…

“Why did the Emperor come for me? Why did he want to kill a child? Tell me.”

“SITH CLONING IS FLAWED. THE HUSK THAT PALPATINE RESIDES IN, IS WEAK AND DETERIORATING. THE CULT CREATED YOU TO BE A STRONGER STABLE CLONE HIS SPIRIT COULD INHABIT.”

"HE KNEW OUTSIDE OF THE CULT’S INFLUENCE YOU COULD BECOME A THREAT TO HIS RULE, AND YOU HAVE. TOGETHER REY, WE HAVE FORGED AN UNBREAKABLE BOND WITHIN THE FORCE, WE CAN DESTROY HIM.

(Removes his helmet)

“You know what you need to do. You know.”

“I know.”

Yes, I know that is not how genetics work. But I don’t think the subject of genetics has ever been mentioned in the level of detail you are discussing in star wars before. I felt if nothing else it could slip through the cracks as an in universe explanation versus no explanation at all.

My thought was if she was birthed it would establish a greater bond between rey and her mother if nothing else. Also, it offers a possible explanation as to why rey is a woman, why palpatine’s current body is old and falling apart, but rey’s is young and only growing in strength. Like the act of coming from a natural birth made her not decrepit. Just my two cents.

HERE IS MY TAKE ON THIS SCENE-

"Rey….wherever you are…You are hard to find.

“You are hard to get rid of.”

“I pushed you in the desert because I needed to see it…I needed you to see it…who you are. DARKNESS RUNS DEEP WITHIN YOU, Rey…”

“You’re lying.”

“You were right…your parents were no one. THEY WERE CONSCRIPTED BY SITH CULTISTS.”

“Don’t!”

“YOUR MOTHER, A SURROGATE FOR THE SITH, GAVE BIRTH TO YOU.”

“I don’t want this!”

“DESPERATE TO KEEP YOU FOR HERSELF, AND FEARING FOR YOUR FUTURE, TOOK YOU.”

“No!”

“YOUR PARENTS KNEW THEY WOULD BE PURSUED FOR BETRAYING THE CULT.”

(Rey sees the vision of her parents and her abandonment.)
“My Love…be brave.”
“You’ll be safe here…I promise.”
“Come back! Nooo!”

“BUT THEY DIDN’T ANTICIPATE HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE/ WERE.”

“Stop talking.”

“Rey…I learned what happened to them.”

(Cutaway to heroes capture)

"YOUR PARENTS SEARCHED THE GALAXY FOR THE RUMORED JEDI ORDER, KNOWING IT WOULD BE THEIR ONLY HOPE/ SALVATION. WHEN FOLLOWING A LEAD ON JAKKU, THEY WERE AMBUSHED AND FLED TO DRAW AWAY YOUR PURSUERS, ABANDONING YOU ON JAKKU, TO SAVE YOU.

(Rey sees her parents get killed.)

“So that’s where you are.”

“You know why the Emperor’s always wanted you dead. I’ll come tell you.”

…

“Why did the Emperor come for me? Why did he want to kill a child? Tell me.”

“ORIGINAL SITH CLONING IS FLAWED. THE HUSK THAT PALPATINE RESIDES IN, IS WEAK AND DETERIORATING. THOUGH YOUR MOTHER BIRTHED YOU, THE CULT CREATED YOU WITH THE BLOOD OF PALPATINE ALONE, TO BE A STRONGER STABLE CLONE HIS SPIRIT COULD INHABIT.”

"HE KNEW OUTSIDE OF THE CULT’S INFLUENCE YOU COULD BECOME A THREAT TO HIS RULE, AND YOU HAVE. TOGETHER REY, WE HAVE FORGED AN UNBREAKABLE BOND WITHIN THE FORCE, WE CAN DESTROY HIM.

(Removes his helmet)

“You know what you need to do. You know.”

“I know.”

Could you please provide a link to your edit? Thank you.

try it now.

A little rough but I thought I would try my hand at this.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wH7gM4UF4bqxxuxI6esqhBMS-Odc3g1p/view?usp=share_link

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1j2R1i_c5yUz-ew-6sM8Y_pYDKALGn1HO/view?usp=share_link

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BJbzx7QgGWI9tclqoI6XYbT_UCzQEMzA/view?usp=share_link

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Qz0FvsCfAyF_6POOXnR3KyTPjwGe2uhZ/view?usp=share_link

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zbqXAZr9SsSQBNrragDsUk5ArGLU7yrr/view?usp=share_link

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MKM9aiVT1N9TXBz4Tr-wpX8wbSs7sQ_0/view?usp=share_link

I realize there isn’t a lot of difference between each of these, but I think they each have something that is better than another. Maybe with a bit of deepening and some filtering these could be useful.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Yeah, you’d just have to extract them from the films with as little background noise as possible. I’m sure if somebody was dedicated enough they could isolate his lines from the audio mix, but I’m just not up for that myself.

Also, it’s not a problem for me to “work” on this. For some reason, I find AI generators super fun to mess around with, and the best part is all of this has only cost me 1 dollar so far.

voice isolation -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGMML5n3q3o

Anyone try this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JruKb-Zeze8 ?

Yeah clearly it was too wordy, I’m just not convinced, “let go,” really conveys anything of importance here. Yeah it’s a call back, and it is in line with the jedi way, blah blah blah. But what is the purpose of Obi-wan encouraging him to, “let go”? Luke is already dying. Is there an indication he is fighting his own death, that he needs to let go?

The reason Luke dies is his use of force projection. Yes, he did sacrifice himself to save the resistance, but the sacrifice ends there. It might be a good idea to use this moment to foreshadow his return at the end of your TROS edit. Like the way Obi-wan told Vader he would, “become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” Just my two cents.

Sounds just like Alec Guinness. Would something like, “Luke, take your final step, become one with force, she needs your help” work also or is it too wordy?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGJLamEDMWU

On the topic of changing Jar Jar dialog

Honestly, these might be the best redubs I’ve ever seen. Also, I love how Jar jar is now a completely different character but his vocals still match the physical performance. I have posted this before in other threads, but I try to get these videos as much exposure as possible. I would love if the community could convince this guy to finish the dub for the whole movie. Unless of course, someone has a link to his complete edit, if it exists. Maybe I’m crazy but I think these dubs are phenomenal, and fix the biggest annoyance to watching this movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58yrGVFDHc8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDs0Y4krCqI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FRqQt7N4q0

sherlockpotter said:

In other news, I’ve been playing with a new reading of the word “end” for the Leia training. I’m at the point now where I need a clean set of ears to listen to it. Let me know how it sounds, and if you think this version works any better than the other!

Old version (Version A): https://streamable.com/y02l42
New Version (Version B): https://streamable.com/6dn00m

I still think this is the best version.

https://streamable.com/ehphfh

Great work either way.

After following this thread since the beginning and now reading that comprehensive review I can’t wait for the final version, can you please send me a link to the current work print?

Thanks

9, 8
7, 5
6, 2
8, 6

Not sure if anyone suggested this one yet. When Ben brings Rey back to life he is actually just inhabiting her body and pretending to be Rey.

Hal 9000 said:

Good revision. I feel the need to try to modify the clause about the rising tide of dissidence, maybe an analogy that doesn’t seem at odds with that of a spark. Not sure about ‘fabled’ either. I guess it’s time to bust out a thesaurus and get into the weeds.

“to quell the whispers of rebellion”

snooker said:

https://streamable.com/cekikp

This edit helps cement the idea that these people are a family now, instead of Rey being completely alone on a desert planet at the end. Her friends are there waiting for her : )

It also helps explain why BB-8 is there, he’s just a curious little friend : )

Wow, this is perfect.

Some the added glow is a bit much. But loving the cc on this scene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNj4jxYIYJc

not mine, but I love it.

Like I said on youtube, it is the best redub for jar jar I’ve heard yet! But when jar jar says " you’ve got to go to the gungans" it would make more sense for him to say “you’ve got to go to the gungan city” becuase QGJ’s response is “city? Can you take us there?”