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darth_ender

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26-Apr-2011
Last activity
7-Sep-2018
Posts
11046

Post History

Post
#1174685
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

For what it’s worth, this forum takes too much of my time and energy. I know the regulars here will criticize me for what I’m about to do. I know that two years from now, someone will say something like, “Remember when darth_ender took his ball and went home?” Regardless, I think I should just give greater energy to real life and stop wasting it trying to be friends with Internet people, especially people who really don’t care. Overall, it’s been a pleasant seven-ish years, people. I’m sure I’ll continue to read the threads I care about. I am just going to log out on all my devices and don’t intend to log back in much if ever again. Thank you for the enjoyable interactions. I mean that sincerely.

Post
#1174675
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

oojason said:

darth_ender said:

oojason said:

I think many on here have some, if not varying degrees of all of those flaws you posted there d_e, yourself included.

If you’re going to try and use this thread to try and goad Frink - or carry on/escalate from the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread - then think on mate.

Of course we all have such flaws. But there is no doubt that Frink’s character is unique to this forum, usually in a pleasant sense, periodically to an aggravating sense.

However, I am not trying to goad or escalate anything. I was trying to follow mrebo’s advice from that thread:

Mrebo said:

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

To be honest, I genuinely feel you’re not as enjoyable or nice as you used to be. Or maybe I’m just nicer than I used to be, leading me to sit on my high horse. 😛

I think you and Warb are just suffering faulty memory, but ok.

Im getting flashbacks of the Luke Skywalker debate. I think Frink is as delightful as ever 🐣

I think we should give the dead the respect they deserve in this thread and not get bogged down in petty internecine fights (definition provided for Dom’s benefit).

I don’t see how I am goading him. I was not rude or disrespectful. I am trying to converse in a more appropriate thread about what I feel is a problem. I am handling it in a very adult-like fashion, and frankly, I don’t need a moderator to tell me how to talk with another adult unless things get out of hand. So far, I don’t believe we’re even close to that point.

What’s more, you swooped in on my comment in the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread because a lack of careful phrasing made it look like a portion of my comment was a broad generalization, even though the latter part of the comment should have clarified. You quickly corrected me and stated that I shouldn’t generalize (to which I agreed) and presumably accepted my point that liberals and atheists should be respectful of religious/conservative individuals who have died. Literally, you castigated me for not using the word ‘many’ in one of two appropriate places. Meanwhile, Frink’s disrespectful comments, both before and after that, received no moderation, and they were clearly far more offensive.

Following all this, I come to this thread to carry on what I hope will be a productive conversation and where Frink might actually acknowledge that he has been ruder lately, and whom do you call out? Me. Never mind the goading that Frink gives chyron8472 routinely. Never mind the harassment that he leveled against Warbler in the NFL thread leading up to the Super Bowl, refusing for pages to acknowledge that he should back down. Never mind the instances where he decides to pick on yhwx and where it clearly is hurting his feelings. Never mind his lack of remorse on most of these occasions. No, call out darth_ender, who 95% of the time tries to be the peace maker. I really appreciate that.

I didn’t say you were goading him - I said ‘If you’re going to try and use this thread to try and goad Frink…’, yes?

As for you ‘…don’t need a moderator to tell me how to talk with another adult unless things get out of hand’ - well… given your posts to/re Frink in the ‘Just Died’ thread, coupled with your loaded post in here - so I will step in, and try to diffuse something from continuing or escalating further. (Edit - It’s gone well in this thread since I’ve been out for a couple of hours and not stepped in, hasn’t it?)

As for Frink’s comments in the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread - if you have an issue with them then let a mod know via PM. I took issue with your comments about ‘non-religious peeps and liberals’ as ‘they seem to celebrate the death of a prominent Christian figure’ - which was not the case at all, was it? Hence I pulled you up on it.
 

‘the harassment that he leveled against Warbler in the NFL thread leading up to the Super Bowl’…? you mean the posting of a pic of an ex-player every time Warbler posted ‘Go Eagles’? Or is there something else? Did Frink not apologise and stop?

‘Never mind the goading that Frink gives chyron8472 routinely’ - that seems to be two-way thing, no? And since chyron’s return to the site it seems that chyron is giving Frink barrels over Frink’s posts.

‘Never mind the instances where he decides to pick on yhwx and where it clearly is hurting his feelings’ - I am not aware of this. yhwx - please let a mod know if you have any issues with what d_e is alluding to.
 

If anyone here has an issue with posts made by certain members they can let a mod know - as they have always been able to do. Or maybe you don’t want a mod trying to diffuse a situation with you & Frink (you having a pop at him) - but do want mods to get involved when Frink has a pop (according to you) at others? It certainly seems that way…
 

Anyway, knock the holier-than-thou attitude on the head.

No, as I have expressed repeatedly, I don’t want mods jumping in. But if you do feel this need to correct us like children, I’d prefer you correct all of us equally.

Post
#1174661
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

yhwx said:

darth_ender said:

I don’t see how I am goading him. I was not rude or disrespectful. I am trying to converse in a more appropriate thread about what I feel is a problem. I am handling it in a very adult-like fashion, and frankly, I don’t need a moderator to tell me how to talk with another adult unless things get out of hand.

Your proud declaration that your are in fact handling this an adult manner is what I’m talking about with the “holier than thou” attitude. You keep calling yourself out on your own supposed good deeds.

darth_ender said:

I love how that’s not at all what I was doing. What I was saying is that, considering how often I try to do the right thing, I don’t think it’s very fair that I am the one getting called out by a moderator.

Here’s more of the quite vain appearance you’ve projected to the world in your thread. Always emphasizing the good-doer that you are. Stuff those other folks. You feel that you know best. At least that’s how it appears. It also doesn’t help that your posts are quite wordy and rambling. That doesn’t project a good feeling to the reader.

Also, LOL at wordy and rambling posts. I guess when you specialize in one- to three-word replies, anything else would seem wordy.

Post
#1174658
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

yhwx said:

darth_ender said:

I don’t see how I am goading him. I was not rude or disrespectful. I am trying to converse in a more appropriate thread about what I feel is a problem. I am handling it in a very adult-like fashion, and frankly, I don’t need a moderator to tell me how to talk with another adult unless things get out of hand.

Your proud declaration that your are in fact handling this an adult manner is what I’m talking about with the “holier than thou” attitude. You keep calling yourself out on your own supposed good deeds.

darth_ender said:

I love how that’s not at all what I was doing. What I was saying is that, considering how often I try to do the right thing, I don’t think it’s very fair that I am the one getting called out by a moderator.

Here’s more of the quite vain appearance you’ve projected to the world in your thread. Always emphasizing the good-doer that you are. Stuff those other folks. You feel that you know best. At least that’s how it appears. It also doesn’t help that your posts are quite wordy and rambling. That doesn’t project a good feeling to the reader.

So how does one state that he is trying to do the right thing without coming off as holier-than-thou?

Post
#1174657
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

yhwx said:

darth_ender said:

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

yhwx said:

chyron8472 said:

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

TV’s Frink said:

I found the reason I started the thread on page 18!

TV’s Frink said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

darth_ender said:

Past couple of days, yes.

Sorry to say this, but I agree.

Don’t be sorry, I can handle it.

Of course, you would also think a grown man could handle another man who is effeminate and/or gay, or a few internet people who think it’s weird that he likes My Little Pony, especially without having to start daydreaming about ripping those people’s throats out, but you’d be wrong.

I don’t wanna give away who it was about in public, though. PM me if you want to know.

Case in point.

Oooh a gotcha moment. You must feel vindicated.

Thing is I’m not denying anything in this thread. I just don’t really care that much.

You’re pretty good at hiding behind your pain, you know. You say you don’t care, but you do. The reason why you behave the way you do is to try to cover it up.

Thanks for the commentary, Dr. Chyron.

Thanks for the sycophantry, Dr. yhwx.

Hmmmm…

It’s obvious you don’t know what the word means.

It’s not even in the Oxford American Dictionary. It’s quite an obscure and arcane word.

So if I were to say you are obnoxious because you like to try to point out how intelligent you are, would this be an equivalent grievance?

And who cares if it’s archaic? I knew that while posting it. The point remains true.

Post
#1174656
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

Collipso said:

word
wərd/Submit
noun
1.
a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing, used with others (or sometimes alone) to form a sentence and typically shown with a space on either side when written or printed.
synonyms: term, name, expression, designation, locution, vocable; formalappellation
"the Italian word for “ham”“
verb
1.
choose and use particular words in order to say or write (something).
“he words his request in a particularly ironic way"
synonyms: phrase, express, put, couch, frame, formulate, style; More
exclamationinformal
1.
used to express agreement.
”“That Jay is one dangerous character.” “Word.””

Sorry _ender, that’s not a word

It actually is.

http://www.yourdictionary.com/sycophantry

Post
#1174647
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

yhwx said:

chyron8472 said:

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

TV’s Frink said:

I found the reason I started the thread on page 18!

TV’s Frink said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

darth_ender said:

Past couple of days, yes.

Sorry to say this, but I agree.

Don’t be sorry, I can handle it.

Of course, you would also think a grown man could handle another man who is effeminate and/or gay, or a few internet people who think it’s weird that he likes My Little Pony, especially without having to start daydreaming about ripping those people’s throats out, but you’d be wrong.

I don’t wanna give away who it was about in public, though. PM me if you want to know.

Case in point.

Oooh a gotcha moment. You must feel vindicated.

Thing is I’m not denying anything in this thread. I just don’t really care that much.

You’re pretty good at hiding behind your pain, you know. You say you don’t care, but you do. The reason why you behave the way you do is to try to cover it up.

Thanks for the commentary, Dr. Chyron.

Thanks for the sycophantry, Dr. yhwx.

Hmmmm…

It’s obvious you don’t know what the word means.

Post
#1174631
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

yhwx said:

chyron8472 said:

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

TV’s Frink said:

I found the reason I started the thread on page 18!

TV’s Frink said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

darth_ender said:

Past couple of days, yes.

Sorry to say this, but I agree.

Don’t be sorry, I can handle it.

Of course, you would also think a grown man could handle another man who is effeminate and/or gay, or a few internet people who think it’s weird that he likes My Little Pony, especially without having to start daydreaming about ripping those people’s throats out, but you’d be wrong.

I don’t wanna give away who it was about in public, though. PM me if you want to know.

Case in point.

Oooh a gotcha moment. You must feel vindicated.

Thing is I’m not denying anything in this thread. I just don’t really care that much.

You’re pretty good at hiding behind your pain, you know. You say you don’t care, but you do. The reason why you behave the way you do is to try to cover it up.

Thanks for the commentary, Dr. Chyron.

Thanks for the sycophantry, Dr. yhwx.

Post
#1174627
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

oojason said:

I think many on here have some, if not varying degrees of all of those flaws you posted there d_e, yourself included.

If you’re going to try and use this thread to try and goad Frink - or carry on/escalate from the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread - then think on mate.

Of course we all have such flaws. But there is no doubt that Frink’s character is unique to this forum, usually in a pleasant sense, periodically to an aggravating sense.

However, I am not trying to goad or escalate anything. I was trying to follow mrebo’s advice from that thread:

Mrebo said:

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

To be honest, I genuinely feel you’re not as enjoyable or nice as you used to be. Or maybe I’m just nicer than I used to be, leading me to sit on my high horse. 😛

I think you and Warb are just suffering faulty memory, but ok.

Im getting flashbacks of the Luke Skywalker debate. I think Frink is as delightful as ever 🐣

I think we should give the dead the respect they deserve in this thread and not get bogged down in petty internecine fights (definition provided for Dom’s benefit).

I don’t see how I am goading him. I was not rude or disrespectful. I am trying to converse in a more appropriate thread about what I feel is a problem. I am handling it in a very adult-like fashion, and frankly, I don’t need a moderator to tell me how to talk with another adult unless things get out of hand. So far, I don’t believe we’re even close to that point.

What’s more, you swooped in on my comment in the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread because a lack of careful phrasing made it look like a portion of my comment was a broad generalization, even though the latter part of the comment should have clarified. You quickly corrected me and stated that I shouldn’t generalize (to which I agreed) and presumably accepted my point that liberals and atheists should be respectful of religious/conservative individuals who have died. Literally, you castigated me for not using the word ‘many’ in one of two appropriate places. Meanwhile, Frink’s disrespectful comments, both before and after that, received no moderation, and they were clearly far more offensive.

Following all this, I come to this thread to carry on what I hope will be a productive conversation and where Frink might actually acknowledge that he has been ruder lately, and whom do you call out? Me. Never mind the goading that Frink gives chyron8472 routinely. Never mind the harassment that he leveled against Warbler in the NFL thread leading up to the Super Bowl, refusing for pages to acknowledge that he should back down. Never mind the instances where he decides to pick on yhwx and where it clearly is hurting his feelings. Never mind his lack of remorse on most of these occasions. No, call out darth_ender, who 95% of the time tries to be the peace maker. I really appreciate that.

Regardless of whether or not I agree with you (which I actually do, to an extent), I don’t think making yourself out to be the savior of behavioral decency on the forum is really helpful to this discussion.

I love how that’s not at all what I was doing. What I was saying is that, considering how often I try to do the right thing, I don’t think it’s very fair that I am the one getting called out by a moderator.

Yeah and I wasn’t saying you shouldn’t say that. But when you say something like you’re a peace maker 95% of the time (or trying to be), it’s distracting. I almost just posted “95% of the time? Really?” but I’m trying to be a little more constructive.

Well, I kind of appreciate your effort, but that’s like Warbler saying, “I would normally sigh here but I won’t.”

Not if the rest of my post is explaining my issue your post rather than just scoffing at it.

Respectfully, far too often you try to make yourself out to be the only adult here. I know your intentions are in the right place, but it’s honestly kind of annoying.

Perhaps it was the wrong choice of words. What I was doing was acknowledging that I have my lapses and descend into fighting, but 95% of the time, I feel I maintain maturity and keep the peace. I don’t mean that I act as a policeman for others (because usually I just butt out), but I mean I try not to contribute to a problem.

I mean, honestly, I find you jumping in, and mostly critiquing me instead of the guy who clearly does more of the antagonizing, annoying. It’s almost you doing what you don’t like me doing. On the other hand, I don’t really care that much, and I’m just pointing it out because I do feel that Frink does get more free passes from peers and mods alike.

I only butt in because of that bone I had to pick with your post (I appreciate your clarification).

If it wasn’t for that I literally just wouldn’t have commented. I really don’t have anything to say against the rest of your post. I personally don’t think Frink is a problem and I certainly don’t think he’s any different than he used to be. Sometimes he goes too far but then he reins it in. You said your piece and that’s fine. I don’t have an issue with that.

Again, my point is just that when you make yourself out to be more mature or whatever, it’s annoying. I don’t think you can really say that that’s what I was doing by criticizing you, mostly because my goal on this forum isn’t maturity. I like being silly and sarcastic. When I’m at work, I don’t have much opportunity for that besides on here. That’s part of the reason why I find that kind of thing you do sometimes to be annoying.

I’m silly and sarcastic and even tease quite a bit, so I don’t understand the feeling that I try to be high and mighty. I just try to be respectful, and when I realize I’ve crossed a line, I try to apologize quickly and back down. Now that I’ve said this, maybe someone will say I’m trying to toot my own horn, but what I am actually doing is trying to admit that I make mistakes, but honestly say that I try to correct them.

Let me give an example. A month or so ago, I made a joke about menstruation. TV’s Frink, who has made his fair share of crude jokes, said, “I expected better from you,” or something very close. Now, I didn’t interpret what he said as being ‘holier than thou’. I made a joke that someone thought was tasteless or offensive. I apologized and edited the post. But TV’s Frink has made jokes that I have found offensive and unnecessary. Sometimes, I see it hurting someone else. I see the individual being picked on ask for him to stop, and instead, he continues to push buttons. Sometimes, he apologizes, but most of the time, he does not. This is not me trying to look better than him. This is me trying to say, “Look, you are calling me out on my faults. It would be nice if someone called him out more because I see far more people hurt by his behavior than mine.”

I respect if it’s not your intention to seem high and mighty, but I’m certainly not the only one who’s felt this way, so I don’t think I’m imagining it - to some extent it is on how you’ve acted.

Well, as I stated in my previous post in reply to yhwx, I think I know why I am perceived that way. I will accept your criticism, even though I don’t fully agree. As I often do in real life, I will apologize for whatever irritation it caused you or anyone else.

Now, I have a feeling that very sentence will warrant the feeling of, “Oh, high and mighty _ender thinks he is the only one who apologizes,” from someone (not necessarily you, Dom). Again, that is not my intent. I just would rather get along well and be the one to eat crow than continue bickering with people I’d rather get along with. It is hurtful when I feel like my apologies are one-sided. I do feel that I often suck it up and apologize, and those who have offended me don’t always do so as willingly. But on the other hand, I’d rather have peace.

Post
#1174615
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

TV’s Frink said:

I found the reason I started the thread on page 18!

TV’s Frink said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

darth_ender said:

Past couple of days, yes.

Sorry to say this, but I agree.

Don’t be sorry, I can handle it.

Of course, you would also think a grown man could handle another man who is effeminate and/or gay, or a few internet people who think it’s weird that he likes My Little Pony, especially without having to start daydreaming about ripping those people’s throats out, but you’d be wrong.

I don’t wanna give away who it was about in public, though. PM me if you want to know.

Case in point.

Post
#1174609
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

yhwx said:

darth_ender said:

yhwx said:

_ender, you have a habit of acting holier than thou at times.

Define that for me in the context of this forum, because I feel that correcting others is something we all do.

There’s a certain righteousness about it — the tenor of your posts makes it sound like you’re crusading around the forum, ridding it of the sin that has affected oh so many people.

Hopefully that communicates it.

I have jumped to your defense before. Would you rather I not do so? Is that too “holier than thou”?

The problem isn’t with if you’ve defended me or not. It’s your attitude towards this kind of thing.

Well, unfortunately you are being very nonspecific. I don’t know how I could change my approach.

Let me share another example. Several weeks ago, I was very upset. I was short on sleep and irritated with the changes in moderation style. TV’s Frink, who had made several complaints of his own, reacted rudely and dismissively towards my vocal complaints. I found this very hurtful: in private, he complains, but in public, he humiliates me for having the same feelings. I told him in private that maybe he’s not as good a friend as I thought he was. Now, I was very emotional at the time, but I don’t think a good friend should do that. Then I thought the whole thing blew over.

Well, a few weeks later, several comments I made were followed by something subtle but insulting from Frink. They weren’t provoked. My comments were in no way offensive towards him. They were just benign comments with disparaging follow-up. Now, I happened to find this sort of behavior hurtful. So I PM’d Mr. Frink (and I apologize for sharing our PM conversation, but I don’t think there was anything too personal in there). Realizing why he was likely being so rude, I asked him what his reasoning was. He said that I had said some hurtful things to him and he hadn’t gotten over that. I apologized and let him know that he hard hurt me too. We kissed and made up (surprisingly hairy!). But I realized that, wow, he really does like to repeatedly push buttons and bully those on his crap list.

So I see certain other members here that he likes to harass, and it bothers me greatly. So, in spite of my much less frequent posting, I feel compelled to intervene. Perhaps, because my posts are generally so much rarer, a greater percentage of them are devoted to this behavior. Maybe, that’s why I appear holier-than-thou.

But regardless of how you feel about me or my behavior, I know from firsthand experience that TV’s Frink can be hurtful and vindictive. I know that he will relentless bother someone he feels deserves it.

On the other hand, I also know that he is a very kind and caring individual. In spite of our differences in politics and religion, I enjoy conversing with him.

If I did not consider myself his friend, I would be much harsher in my criticism of him. It is because I do care about him that I am asking him to reform a bit. Not a lot, because I enjoy who he is. I defended him in his spats with Jetrell Fo, even though I thought for a while that often he was the one who would trigger them anew. But I stand by my initial claim, regardless of how anyone thinks I appear: TV’s Frink needs to be more considerate of others’ feelings and back down a bit, especially when it is obviously hurting someone else. If he is unwilling to do so, then he really isn’t a good friend. Friends give criticism to each other, but try to do so in a constructive manner. This is what I have attempted to do. Friends also take criticism from others with grace. Even in the course of this conversation, I have tried to take criticism from oojason and DominicCobb with grace. I am not trying to be holier than thou. I am trying to get Frink to change his ways, and I am trying to do so in a productive manner.

Post
#1174588
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone, and every single comment either of you makes, someone else standing nearby feels he/she has to insert some kind of response, even if it’s just some sycophantic comment in agreement?

yhwx!

Hmmm…

Hmmm…

Does that mean, you think I act sycophantic? I don’t feel like anyone’s toady. Can you tell me whom?

If you are calling me out for criticizing yhwx, I never said that was inappropriate. I call out people all the time. It’s the deliberate and repeated humiliation of other members I don’t care for. While I have defended yhwx, I feel he is currently meeting the criteria of my comment you have quoted there only a day after he let you know your posts were hurtful to him.

Post
#1174585
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

dahmage said:

to those who like to dump on TV’s Frink: how about you create your own threads inviting feedback and see how you like it? seems only fair to me.

If I did, and I got feedback, I don’t think I’d be in a position to complain.

And while not feedback about me specifically, I have created threads that invite a great deal of criticism, notably my Mormon thread. I asked for feedback, and I get it. Sometimes it’s harsh and rude. But I’m a big boy and can stand up for myself. I don’t doubt that Frink can stand up for himself. Otherwise, serious or sarcastic, he would not have created this thread.

Post
#1174581
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

oojason said:

I think many on here have some, if not varying degrees of all of those flaws you posted there d_e, yourself included.

If you’re going to try and use this thread to try and goad Frink - or carry on/escalate from the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread - then think on mate.

Of course we all have such flaws. But there is no doubt that Frink’s character is unique to this forum, usually in a pleasant sense, periodically to an aggravating sense.

However, I am not trying to goad or escalate anything. I was trying to follow mrebo’s advice from that thread:

Mrebo said:

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

To be honest, I genuinely feel you’re not as enjoyable or nice as you used to be. Or maybe I’m just nicer than I used to be, leading me to sit on my high horse. 😛

I think you and Warb are just suffering faulty memory, but ok.

Im getting flashbacks of the Luke Skywalker debate. I think Frink is as delightful as ever 🐣

I think we should give the dead the respect they deserve in this thread and not get bogged down in petty internecine fights (definition provided for Dom’s benefit).

I don’t see how I am goading him. I was not rude or disrespectful. I am trying to converse in a more appropriate thread about what I feel is a problem. I am handling it in a very adult-like fashion, and frankly, I don’t need a moderator to tell me how to talk with another adult unless things get out of hand. So far, I don’t believe we’re even close to that point.

What’s more, you swooped in on my comment in the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread because a lack of careful phrasing made it look like a portion of my comment was a broad generalization, even though the latter part of the comment should have clarified. You quickly corrected me and stated that I shouldn’t generalize (to which I agreed) and presumably accepted my point that liberals and atheists should be respectful of religious/conservative individuals who have died. Literally, you castigated me for not using the word ‘many’ in one of two appropriate places. Meanwhile, Frink’s disrespectful comments, both before and after that, received no moderation, and they were clearly far more offensive.

Following all this, I come to this thread to carry on what I hope will be a productive conversation and where Frink might actually acknowledge that he has been ruder lately, and whom do you call out? Me. Never mind the goading that Frink gives chyron8472 routinely. Never mind the harassment that he leveled against Warbler in the NFL thread leading up to the Super Bowl, refusing for pages to acknowledge that he should back down. Never mind the instances where he decides to pick on yhwx and where it clearly is hurting his feelings. Never mind his lack of remorse on most of these occasions. No, call out darth_ender, who 95% of the time tries to be the peace maker. I really appreciate that.

Regardless of whether or not I agree with you (which I actually do, to an extent), I don’t think making yourself out to be the savior of behavioral decency on the forum is really helpful to this discussion.

I love how that’s not at all what I was doing. What I was saying is that, considering how often I try to do the right thing, I don’t think it’s very fair that I am the one getting called out by a moderator.

Yeah and I wasn’t saying you shouldn’t say that. But when you say something like you’re a peace maker 95% of the time (or trying to be), it’s distracting. I almost just posted “95% of the time? Really?” but I’m trying to be a little more constructive.

Well, I kind of appreciate your effort, but that’s like Warbler saying, “I would normally sigh here but I won’t.”

Not if the rest of my post is explaining my issue your post rather than just scoffing at it.

Respectfully, far too often you try to make yourself out to be the only adult here. I know your intentions are in the right place, but it’s honestly kind of annoying.

Perhaps it was the wrong choice of words. What I was doing was acknowledging that I have my lapses and descend into fighting, but 95% of the time, I feel I maintain maturity and keep the peace. I don’t mean that I act as a policeman for others (because usually I just butt out), but I mean I try not to contribute to a problem.

I mean, honestly, I find you jumping in, and mostly critiquing me instead of the guy who clearly does more of the antagonizing, annoying. It’s almost you doing what you don’t like me doing. On the other hand, I don’t really care that much, and I’m just pointing it out because I do feel that Frink does get more free passes from peers and mods alike.

I only butt in because of that bone I had to pick with your post (I appreciate your clarification).

If it wasn’t for that I literally just wouldn’t have commented. I really don’t have anything to say against the rest of your post. I personally don’t think Frink is a problem and I certainly don’t think he’s any different than he used to be. Sometimes he goes too far but then he reins it in. You said your piece and that’s fine. I don’t have an issue with that.

Again, my point is just that when you make yourself out to be more mature or whatever, it’s annoying. I don’t think you can really say that that’s what I was doing by criticizing you, mostly because my goal on this forum isn’t maturity. I like being silly and sarcastic. When I’m at work, I don’t have much opportunity for that besides on here. That’s part of the reason why I find that kind of thing you do sometimes to be annoying.

I’m silly and sarcastic and even tease quite a bit, so I don’t understand the feeling that I try to be high and mighty. I just try to be respectful, and when I realize I’ve crossed a line, I try to apologize quickly and back down. Now that I’ve said this, maybe someone will say I’m trying to toot my own horn, but what I am actually doing is trying to admit that I make mistakes, but honestly say that I try to correct them.

Let me give an example. A month or so ago, I made a joke about menstruation. TV’s Frink, who has made his fair share of crude jokes, said, “I expected better from you,” or something very close. Now, I didn’t interpret what he said as being ‘holier than thou’. I made a joke that someone thought was tasteless or offensive. I apologized and edited the post. But TV’s Frink has made jokes that I have found offensive and unnecessary. Sometimes, I see it hurting someone else. I see the individual being picked on ask for him to stop, and instead, he continues to push buttons. Sometimes, he apologizes, but most of the time, he does not. This is not me trying to look better than him. This is me trying to say, “Look, you are calling me out on my faults. It would be nice if someone called him out more because I see far more people hurt by his behavior than mine.”

Post
#1174497
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

oojason said:

I think many on here have some, if not varying degrees of all of those flaws you posted there d_e, yourself included.

If you’re going to try and use this thread to try and goad Frink - or carry on/escalate from the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread - then think on mate.

Of course we all have such flaws. But there is no doubt that Frink’s character is unique to this forum, usually in a pleasant sense, periodically to an aggravating sense.

However, I am not trying to goad or escalate anything. I was trying to follow mrebo’s advice from that thread:

Mrebo said:

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

To be honest, I genuinely feel you’re not as enjoyable or nice as you used to be. Or maybe I’m just nicer than I used to be, leading me to sit on my high horse. 😛

I think you and Warb are just suffering faulty memory, but ok.

Im getting flashbacks of the Luke Skywalker debate. I think Frink is as delightful as ever 🐣

I think we should give the dead the respect they deserve in this thread and not get bogged down in petty internecine fights (definition provided for Dom’s benefit).

I don’t see how I am goading him. I was not rude or disrespectful. I am trying to converse in a more appropriate thread about what I feel is a problem. I am handling it in a very adult-like fashion, and frankly, I don’t need a moderator to tell me how to talk with another adult unless things get out of hand. So far, I don’t believe we’re even close to that point.

What’s more, you swooped in on my comment in the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread because a lack of careful phrasing made it look like a portion of my comment was a broad generalization, even though the latter part of the comment should have clarified. You quickly corrected me and stated that I shouldn’t generalize (to which I agreed) and presumably accepted my point that liberals and atheists should be respectful of religious/conservative individuals who have died. Literally, you castigated me for not using the word ‘many’ in one of two appropriate places. Meanwhile, Frink’s disrespectful comments, both before and after that, received no moderation, and they were clearly far more offensive.

Following all this, I come to this thread to carry on what I hope will be a productive conversation and where Frink might actually acknowledge that he has been ruder lately, and whom do you call out? Me. Never mind the goading that Frink gives chyron8472 routinely. Never mind the harassment that he leveled against Warbler in the NFL thread leading up to the Super Bowl, refusing for pages to acknowledge that he should back down. Never mind the instances where he decides to pick on yhwx and where it clearly is hurting his feelings. Never mind his lack of remorse on most of these occasions. No, call out darth_ender, who 95% of the time tries to be the peace maker. I really appreciate that.

Regardless of whether or not I agree with you (which I actually do, to an extent), I don’t think making yourself out to be the savior of behavioral decency on the forum is really helpful to this discussion.

I love how that’s not at all what I was doing. What I was saying is that, considering how often I try to do the right thing, I don’t think it’s very fair that I am the one getting called out by a moderator.

Yeah and I wasn’t saying you shouldn’t say that. But when you say something like you’re a peace maker 95% of the time (or trying to be), it’s distracting. I almost just posted “95% of the time? Really?” but I’m trying to be a little more constructive.

Well, I kind of appreciate your effort, but that’s like Warbler saying, “I would normally sigh here but I won’t.”

Respectfully, far too often you try to make yourself out to be the only adult here. I know your intentions are in the right place, but it’s honestly kind of annoying.

Perhaps it was the wrong choice of words. What I was doing was acknowledging that I have my lapses and descend into fighting, but 95% of the time, I feel I maintain maturity and keep the peace. I don’t mean that I act as a policeman for others (because usually I just butt out), but I mean I try not to contribute to a problem.

I mean, honestly, I find you jumping in, and mostly critiquing me instead of the guy who clearly does more of the antagonizing, annoying. It’s almost you doing what you don’t like me doing. On the other hand, I don’t really care that much, and I’m just pointing it out because I do feel that Frink does get more free passes from peers and mods alike.

Post
#1174485
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

chyron8472 said:

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

oojason said:

I think many on here have some, if not varying degrees of all of those flaws you posted there d_e, yourself included.

If you’re going to try and use this thread to try and goad Frink - or carry on/escalate from the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread - then think on mate.

Of course we all have such flaws. But there is no doubt that Frink’s character is unique to this forum, usually in a pleasant sense, periodically to an aggravating sense.

However, I am not trying to goad or escalate anything. I was trying to follow mrebo’s advice from that thread:

Mrebo said:

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

To be honest, I genuinely feel you’re not as enjoyable or nice as you used to be. Or maybe I’m just nicer than I used to be, leading me to sit on my high horse. 😛

I think you and Warb are just suffering faulty memory, but ok.

Im getting flashbacks of the Luke Skywalker debate. I think Frink is as delightful as ever 🐣

I think we should give the dead the respect they deserve in this thread and not get bogged down in petty internecine fights (definition provided for Dom’s benefit).

I don’t see how I am goading him. I was not rude or disrespectful. I am trying to converse in a more appropriate thread about what I feel is a problem. I am handling it in a very adult-like fashion, and frankly, I don’t need a moderator to tell me how to talk with another adult unless things get out of hand. So far, I don’t believe we’re even close to that point.

What’s more, you swooped in on my comment in the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread because a lack of careful phrasing made it look like a portion of my comment was a broad generalization, even though the latter part of the comment should have clarified. You quickly corrected me and stated that I shouldn’t generalize (to which I agreed) and presumably accepted my point that liberals and atheists should be respectful of religious/conservative individuals who have died. Literally, you castigated me for not using the word ‘many’ in one of two appropriate places. Meanwhile, Frink’s disrespectful comments, both before and after that, received no moderation, and they were clearly far more offensive.

Following all this, I come to this thread to carry on what I hope will be a productive conversation and where Frink might actually acknowledge that he has been ruder lately, and whom do you call out? Me. Never mind the goading that Frink gives chyron8472 routinely. Never mind the harassment that he leveled against Warbler in the NFL thread leading up to the Super Bowl, refusing for pages to acknowledge that he should back down. Never mind the instances where he decides to pick on yhwx and where it clearly is hurting his feelings. Never mind his lack of remorse on most of these occasions. No, call out darth_ender, who 95% of the time tries to be the peace maker. I really appreciate that.

Regardless of whether or not I agree with you (which I actually do, to an extent), I don’t think making yourself out to be the savior of behavioral decency on the forum is really helpful to this discussion.

I don’t think he is saying that. I think he’s saying jason isn’t being fair by refraining from calling out Frink as often as he should in contrast to how he just called out _ender for nothing really.

Oops. Yep, nailed it.

Post
#1174483
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

oojason said:

I think many on here have some, if not varying degrees of all of those flaws you posted there d_e, yourself included.

If you’re going to try and use this thread to try and goad Frink - or carry on/escalate from the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread - then think on mate.

Of course we all have such flaws. But there is no doubt that Frink’s character is unique to this forum, usually in a pleasant sense, periodically to an aggravating sense.

However, I am not trying to goad or escalate anything. I was trying to follow mrebo’s advice from that thread:

Mrebo said:

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

To be honest, I genuinely feel you’re not as enjoyable or nice as you used to be. Or maybe I’m just nicer than I used to be, leading me to sit on my high horse. 😛

I think you and Warb are just suffering faulty memory, but ok.

Im getting flashbacks of the Luke Skywalker debate. I think Frink is as delightful as ever 🐣

I think we should give the dead the respect they deserve in this thread and not get bogged down in petty internecine fights (definition provided for Dom’s benefit).

I don’t see how I am goading him. I was not rude or disrespectful. I am trying to converse in a more appropriate thread about what I feel is a problem. I am handling it in a very adult-like fashion, and frankly, I don’t need a moderator to tell me how to talk with another adult unless things get out of hand. So far, I don’t believe we’re even close to that point.

What’s more, you swooped in on my comment in the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread because a lack of careful phrasing made it look like a portion of my comment was a broad generalization, even though the latter part of the comment should have clarified. You quickly corrected me and stated that I shouldn’t generalize (to which I agreed) and presumably accepted my point that liberals and atheists should be respectful of religious/conservative individuals who have died. Literally, you castigated me for not using the word ‘many’ in one of two appropriate places. Meanwhile, Frink’s disrespectful comments, both before and after that, received no moderation, and they were clearly far more offensive.

Following all this, I come to this thread to carry on what I hope will be a productive conversation and where Frink might actually acknowledge that he has been ruder lately, and whom do you call out? Me. Never mind the goading that Frink gives chyron8472 routinely. Never mind the harassment that he leveled against Warbler in the NFL thread leading up to the Super Bowl, refusing for pages to acknowledge that he should back down. Never mind the instances where he decides to pick on yhwx and where it clearly is hurting his feelings. Never mind his lack of remorse on most of these occasions. No, call out darth_ender, who 95% of the time tries to be the peace maker. I really appreciate that.

Regardless of whether or not I agree with you (which I actually do, to an extent), I don’t think making yourself out to be the savior of behavioral decency on the forum is really helpful to this discussion.

I love how that’s not at all what I was doing. What I was saying is that, considering how often I try to do the right thing, I don’t think it’s very fair that I am the one getting called out by a moderator.

Post
#1174471
Topic
Am I a Bully?
Time

oojason said:

I think many on here have some, if not varying degrees of all of those flaws you posted there d_e, yourself included.

If you’re going to try and use this thread to try and goad Frink - or carry on/escalate from the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread - then think on mate.

Of course we all have such flaws. But there is no doubt that Frink’s character is unique to this forum, usually in a pleasant sense, periodically to an aggravating sense.

However, I am not trying to goad or escalate anything. I was trying to follow mrebo’s advice from that thread:

Mrebo said:

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

To be honest, I genuinely feel you’re not as enjoyable or nice as you used to be. Or maybe I’m just nicer than I used to be, leading me to sit on my high horse. 😛

I think you and Warb are just suffering faulty memory, but ok.

Im getting flashbacks of the Luke Skywalker debate. I think Frink is as delightful as ever 🐣

I think we should give the dead the respect they deserve in this thread and not get bogged down in petty internecine fights (definition provided for Dom’s benefit).

I don’t see how I am goading him. I was not rude or disrespectful. I am trying to converse in a more appropriate thread about what I feel is a problem. I am handling it in a very adult-like fashion, and frankly, I don’t need a moderator to tell me how to talk with another adult unless things get out of hand. So far, I don’t believe we’re even close to that point.

What’s more, you swooped in on my comment in the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread because a lack of careful phrasing made it look like a portion of my comment was a broad generalization, even though the latter part of the comment should have clarified. You quickly corrected me and stated that I shouldn’t generalize (to which I agreed) and presumably accepted my point that liberals and atheists should be respectful of religious/conservative individuals who have died. Literally, you castigated me for not using the word ‘many’ in one of two appropriate places. Meanwhile, Frink’s disrespectful comments, both before and after that, received no moderation, and they were clearly far more offensive.

Following all this, I come to this thread to carry on what I hope will be a productive conversation and where Frink might actually acknowledge that he has been ruder lately, and whom do you call out? Me. Never mind the goading that Frink gives chyron8472 routinely. Never mind the harassment that he leveled against Warbler in the NFL thread leading up to the Super Bowl, refusing for pages to acknowledge that he should back down. Never mind the instances where he decides to pick on yhwx and where it clearly is hurting his feelings. Never mind his lack of remorse on most of these occasions. No, call out darth_ender, who 95% of the time tries to be the peace maker. I really appreciate that.