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Yoda Is Your Father

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Join date
6-Jan-2005
Last activity
13-Mar-2025
Posts
4,577

Post History

Post
#135000
Topic
katrina
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/135000/action/topic#135000
Time
Anarchy spreading through the city, dead and dying abandoned in the streets, scum taking advantage of the situation by raping women and looting, gangs prowling the streets, shooting at rescue helicopters, outbreaks of shootings, carjackings and thefts….A testament to human nature.
Post
#134798
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/134798/action/topic#134798
Time
A list of actual announcements that LONDON TUBE train DRIVERS have made to their passengers. Now, I live in London and use the tube evryday, and I believe that all of these are real becuase I have heard some pretty funny announcements myself and seen some pretty dumb passengers :

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know
you're all dying to get home unless, of course, you happen to be married to
my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go
in the opposite direction".

"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from
backside and elbow syndrome, not knowing one from the other. I'll let you
know any further information as soon as I'm given any."

"Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last
Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news
is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham,
which means we probably won't reach our destination."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security
alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the
foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time
together. All together now....'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall...'".

"We are now travelling through Baker Street, as you can see Baker Street is
closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could
tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that".

"Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these
professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a
registered charity, failing that, give it to me."

"Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause...) "Oh go on then, stuff
yourselves in like sardines, see if I care...."

"Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold
the doors open'. The two are distinct and separate instructions."

"Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the
doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into
the doors."

"We can't move off because some idiot has their f***ing hand stuck in the
door"

"To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second
carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"

"Please move all baggage away from the doors(Pause...) Please move ALL
belongings away from the doors (Pause...) This is a personal message to the
man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train - put the pie
down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I
come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways"

"May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on
any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only
fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage"
Post
#134777
Topic
How George would write the OT if he wrote them now
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/134777/action/topic#134777
Time
Attack on the second Death Star:

CONTROLLER: Admiral, we have enemy ships armed with Buzz droids in sector 47.

On the screen can be seen the Endor moon, The Geonosian Death Star Mark II, and the massive Imperial fleet. Admiral Ackbar moves to the comlink.

ACKBAR: It’s a contrivance for catching and holding an unwary individual from which escape or relief is difficult! Alert the squadron to take evasive action in order to avoid becoming ensnared in this dastardly ‘trap’!

ADMIRAL BINKS: Weesa in deep poodoo!!
Post
#134774
Topic
Oil Storm
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/134774/action/topic#134774
Time
In that case I agree. Empty promises are a huge part of the problem. I really can't fathom why we are not all driving around in electric cars that function just as well, if not better, than their petrol equivalents. I mean, this is 2005 for God's sake.

Of course, electricity still needs to be generated, more often than not by fossil fuels, so maybe that wouldn't solve the problem...

Did you know that Howard Hughes actually developed and manufactured a car that could travel from L.A to San Francisco on a single tank of water? in the 1940s!! He scrapped it when he realised that any collison would cause the driver to be scalded by boiling water, but my point is there are alternatives and I am sick of listening to rubbish from dickheads in government (and the misled public who follow).

Surely developing and manufacturing a feasible alternative, on home soil, would be a huge boost for the economy?

I guess in a way Jedisage is right - it is tiresome listening to environmentalists preaching but nothing ever really getting done, although maybe if everybody put their heads TOGETHER, and laid ulterior motives aside, something would get done. But I suspect we have more chance of seeing pigs fly.


P.S Live 8 did exactly what it intended to do - it raised awareness in people who might not otherwise give a damn by dumbing down politics. Sadly that is what the world has come to - tell a man about poverty, he will not care, take a man to a rock concert, suddenly he's waving his hands in the air shouting 'MAKE POVERTY HISTORY!'. By the way, I was at the London show. It was very good.
Post
#134771
Topic
Oil Storm
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/134771/action/topic#134771
Time
ADigitalMan, I totally agree with you on everything you said. And as for $4 a gallon gas coming soon to the USA, well, I live in England and gas is currently priced at about 91 pence a litre (roughly $1.75). There are 4 litres in a gallon, so over here we are basically paying $7 a gallon over here! Thank God my car is small and fuel efficient!!

This problem is not even hard to solve - the technology is there, it's the will of the government and, sadly, joe public, that is lacking.

However, I disagree with Jedisage's environmentalist bashing - we are totally fucking up this planet and one day, in your lifetime, you will wish we hadn't.

Post
#134770
Topic
Guts
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/134770/action/topic#134770
Time
Dayv....I just don't know what to say. You're either very lucky or very unlucky...
Still, good attitude, man. I have a metal plate in my arm thanks to a bodged bone setting done in a dodgy greek hospital and then repaired on return to England, but I am clearly not even in your league.