Vultural

Never Trust A Gambler - 1951 - 5/10

Steve, on the run as witness in a murder, hides out at his ex-wife’s home.
Despite a mousy appearance, Virginia has attracted a predatory masher in the form of a cop.
When he shows up at her home, drunk, and tries to rape her, Steve defends her and the cop is killed.

Once the body is found, the force, despite knowing the guy is filthy, starts to investigate.
So-so mystery piddles around most of the time, eating minutes, churning a loose plot.
There is a Noir buried in this, and it takes off in the last fifteen minutes.
Otherwise, poorly written, badly directed. Grilled cheese sandwich gone cold.

Bright Days Ahead - 2013 - 6/10
AKA - Les Beaux Jours

Midlife crisis alert!
Woman drops her dental practice after dispute.
Too old for new career, too young for retirement, she investigates the senior center.
Tries acting class, pottery, painting, the lot.
Eventually, she begins an affair with one of the instructors, twenty years younger.
Her husband - yes, she is married - is blind, disinterested, tolerant.
Typical of too many French films, plot never really goes anywhere.

Crazy Sex - 1976 - 5/10
AKA - Nian Hua Re Cao // 拈花惹草

Two tales here, both middling.
A nightclub owner, smuggling drugs on the side, decides to teach a female rival a lesson.
Only – oops – wrong female! She soon blackmails him.
The owner’s wife, meanwhile, after a brief romp, finds herself blackmailed.
Next tale, a farce, tracks the aging jeweler and his young wife who prefers a youthful neighbor.
Nearby, in the crowded hutong, is a very busy bordello.
Topless scenery throughout, with implied, though obscured, slide the weasel action.

The Heirs - 2021 - 6/10
AKA - Les Héritiers

Diane, owner of a PR firm, specializing in crises, disappears off the Brittany coast.
Her three-man team of consultants soon bicker for control, then finds clients jumping ship.
Once they accept a volatile client, with inflammatory claims, the firm itself is at risk.
Although given the mystery tag, this is a white collar drama.
Aesop’s parable of the bundle of sticks applies.

CBGB - 2013 - 6/10

Alan Rickman as Hilly Kristal, founder and manager of New York’s CBGB club.
Groups in movie include Television, Blondie, Dead Boys, Ramones.
Cartoon panels used throughout. Mirrors the secondary narrative of PUNK magazine.
Narrative and characters pounce around faster than a Ramones song.
Just keep up, dammit.
Packed with songs and history.
Accurate? No idea
Rickman shines in one of his last head-lining roles.

Crime Diaries: Night Out - 2019 - 6/10
AKA - Historia de un Crimen Colmenares

Luis attends an upscale school, packed with privileged, affluent students.
He is neither, though he is popular, particularly with one girl who recently dumped her rich, possessive boyfriend.
Ask anyone. Dating drama happens every day.
Except Luis winds up murdered.
Police swiftly zero in on suspects and witnesses. Who did it, who watched.
Columbian series told from numerous points of view.
Stories contradict, witnesses disagree, experts clash.
Once the lawyers get involved, lies and objections dial to 11.
Based on true events, this is an extremely frustrating view.

I’m Not Running - 2019 - 7/10

Dr. Paula Gibson took on the government and won.
Bureaucrats, wanting to shave expenses, plan to shutter smaller, local hospitals.
After all, what’s an hour drive to a well oiled mega medical complex?
Victorious, Gibson is the people’s choice to be Health Minister.
If she will run.
Essentially British theatre (know your NHS) with swings in chronology.
College years, intern, canvasser, treating her alcoholic mother, picking a side.
Contrasts what is right with theatre and what is wrong with the medical system.

Moonlight Murder - 1936 - 6/10

Creaky mystery set at the Hollywood Bowl.
The opera tenor is being threatened - “Sing onstage and you will die!”
There are attempts and numerous suspects.
The tenor is dallying with his leading lady as well as the lead dancer.
Each are highly jealous, with suspicious husbands in the company!
The understudy wants the tenor’s role. An insane composer is on the loose!
At barely 60“, the plot rockets along although a full 10“ are rehearsals and performance of Verdi’s “Il Trovatore.”

The Killing Bottle - 1967 - 6/10
AKA - Kokusai himitsu keisatsu: Zettai zetsumei // 国際秘密警察 絶体絶命

Agents from the International Secret Police face off against the ZZZ group.
ZZZ plans to assassinate the prime minister of Buddhabal with a deadly expanding foam.
Fast moving spoof of spy thrillers, peppered with hijinks and bumbling action sequences.
Nick Adams has a flair for comedy and engages well with Tatsuya Mihashi.
Makoto Satô and Annu Mari are memorable villains.
And Kumi Mizuno plays the comic, yet lethal, “assistant.”
Rumors linger about a her torrid affair with Adams, whose death the next year launched numerous theories.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 - 2016 - 6/10

Not as disappointing as feared – I thought, and my bride spoke aloud.
Sequel to the wildly popular original returns with, what appears to be, the entire ensemble.
This time Ian and Toula’s daughter is preparing for college.
Toula’s parents discover their marriage license was never signed … so.
Not as fresh as the original, but the original wasn’t as fresh either after watching six times.
Lightweight, feel-good. Fans of the first film will likely enjoy.

When Ladies Meet - 1933 - 5/10

Creaky Pre-Code vehicle about oh-so-sophisticated adults carrying on.
An unwanted boyfriend is jealous that his girl is drawn to an older man. Married man.
The unwanted arranges a “chance” encounter between the cheater and cheated.
Then there’s a whole pile of talk and deep thought in the drawing room.
Myrna Loy sparkles as the open-minded youngling, but this is Ann Harding’s film.
When she appears, eventually, she totally dominates every scene.
Tame, talky, based - obviously so - on a play.

Alimony - 1949 - 5/10

Beware those innocent eyes.
Kitty leaves the Midwest for the wicked city.
Unable to find work, she freelances for a shyster lawyer, playing the badger game.
Trapping soon-to-be divorced husbands into compromising photo shots.
That is good, and Martha Vickers is scrumptious.
Secondary story of struggling, weak willed composer is blah.
Cheapie has its moments but is too moralizing to qualify as exploitation or tawdry.

Connie And Carla - 2004 - 6/10

Two showgirls witness a murder in Chicago and flee to Los Angeles.
The mob sends a hitman. All he knows is they are theatre types, so he attends every musical enroute.
Normal modus operandi of the classic whack man? No. You are in goofy territory.
Empty headed comedy is fun, nonetheless.
Toni Collette and Nia Vardalos are good together, and this is brimming with laughs.
Not Greek Wedding, but a cheery date film, especially for theatre fans.

Hunderby - 2012 - 7/10

Genius! Sheer genius!
Wicked spoof of Jane Austen shows, overwrought Brontë series, even Gothic potboilers like Rebecca.
Eight part series follows young Helene (an identity she assumed) as she marries local curate (marriage #2 for him, after first wife disappeared), and all the shenanigans (primarily sexual) occurring in tiny village.
Each episode less than 30“ and features truly fruity dialogue. Examples
“I wish I could lie with thee forever, nuzzling thy nectar nook.”
“You have conjured some fevered notion that I am eaten up with lust for another, and wake each hour with sticky britches.”
“I should love to plunge you, and stay inside you all day like a dozing mouse.”
All lines delivered dead-panned. I don’t know how actors did this straight faced.

Together - 2021 - 6/10

Opposites attract. Although, with opposites, attraction often reverts to repulsion.
Here, the couple have nothing in common.
He is Conservative, a businessman, an exploiter.
She is Liberal, does charity, is sanctimonious. “Hey, look what I’m doing for others!”
They stay together for the sake of their love-child, Artie.
Then Covid. And with Lockdown, they are forced to endure each other (and poor Artie) for a year.
Stagey looking film benefits from terrific acting. Dialogue is staccato and crisp, something I usually associate with 1930’s cinema.
Scores points when Covid mistakes and aftermath are topics. Suffers during spleen venting.
Ending is predictable and phony.

Sexy Beast - 2000 - 7/10

Gandhi? Who’s that?
A retired criminal, enjoying sunny Spain, is pressured / coerced to take part in one “last big score.”
Yes, aren’t they all?
He’s made his pile, warm sunshine is nicer than cold rain, his wife is happy.
Alas, the crime lord has dispatched a total psychopath Don (Ben Kingsley, unforgettable).
The script pays attention to secondary and tertiary characters, and the caper is a corker.
Thing is, Kingsley’s performance or character is so dominating, it skews the entire film.

Creep - 2015 - 5/10

Found footage genre finds one of the Duplass brothers playing terminal cancer statistic.
He hires a cameraman to film “his life” for his unborn son so junior can see what dad was like.
The meeting and shoot is at an isolated cabin, which only someone with putty for brains would agree to.
Really. Haven’t people seen horror films?
Two actors alternately irritating, annoying, questionable, sad.
The camera guy arrives mid morning. Afternoon draws into evening into night.
A handful of a few unpredictable twists and turns, but the story is paper-thin predictable.
Disturbing at times, yet more disappointing. DVD offers alternate, though not better, endings.

Armour Of God II: Operation Condor - 1991 - 6/10
AKA - Feiying gaiwak // 飛鷹計劃

I shoulda held onto my VHS I had bought at the Asian grocery store years ago.
The image was washed out, 4th generation, but the Hong Kong cut ran longer!
Who knew that Dimension (Disney) would cut this? So despite the DVD upgrade I was disappointed.
Anyway, Jackie, the Asian Hawk, is assigned to locate a couple hundred tons of Nazi gold buried in the Sahara.
And the quest commences! With eventually three female (comic) companions.
Stunts are all first rate, from the opening orb escape, to the wind tunnel.
What amazed me then, and now, is how Jackie Chan continued to top himself at this time.
This would be a Top 10 Jackie film for me, though most polls place the Western costar efforts higher.

Two For The Road - 1967 - 6/10

Ups and downs of a ten year marriage.
Faithless, competitive, verbally sparring, swooning at the sight of the other.
Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney have genuine chemistry in the edgy “love” story.
While not exactly Martha and George (Virginia Woolf), they are on their way
A beautiful looking film, and Hepburn is radiant, yet I never bought the marriage.
This is a soured couple, with sugar sprinkles tossed on from time to time to simulate romance.
Not remotely a comedy, but a couple on the brink of divorce, no longer appreciating each other.

Hello, My Name Is Doris - 2015 - 5/10

Sure, whatever. Nice meeting you, Doris, now goodbye.
Sally Field plays 60+ schlemiel in Manhattan ad agency, everyone else is 20’s and 30’s.
A transfer arrives from California, 30 year old guy she develops the hots for.
She stalks him via social media, shows up at music raves.
One-sided “romance” is not Harold And Maude.
Doris has zero vitality, has the fashion sense of a bag lady, and the social skills of a leftover bagel.
Her obsession is creepy. Apologists cry that if men do it, so can she.
Sorry, pilgrim, stretching two generations is generally beyond accepted norms, for either gender.
Secondary plot deals with the aftermath of her mother’s death, with whom she had been living.
Her brother (and wife) suggest she clean out the Staten Island house before selling - and what - share the proceeds? Seems filmmakers dialed back that aspect so to make him more sympathetic.

Sadie - 2021 - 7/10

That’s Sadie above right, with her boyfriend’s analyst, left.
In the middle, her ex. Actually, he’s dead.
Also on the scene is her young boyfriend. Much younger boyfriend.
And her uncle, the only one who really loved her. He’s dead, too.
Sadie has issues. She is angry, toxic, with a long list.
“… I hate everybody younger than me.
“I hate the lockdown. I hate masks.
“I hate that everyone has to have an effing opinion about everything these days.
“I hate that everyone’s so easily effing offended.
“I hate Netflix and all the endless effing channels now.
“I hate “the new normal”. I miss the old normal.
“I miss the old days. I can’t even believe I’m calling them that.
“Doesn’t feel that long ago - the '90s, the '80s, the '70s.
“I miss Van Halen and Def Leppard.
“I miss having a slim waist.
“I miss Bill Clinton and Tony Blair, cos even though they were c++s, at least it felt like they were grown-ups and they knew what they were doing, even if what they were doing was s++t.
“I miss my mother.
“I hate that I’ve inherited her sickening addiction to nostalgia…”
By turns savagely funny, then desperately sad.

Crime Against Joe - 1956 - 5/10

Our hero is an unsuccessful (untalented) artist.
A war veteran, he still lives with Mom, who supports her unemployed son.
Like his deceased father, when he is frustrated – say with his artistic efforts – he hits the booze and the bars.
For whatever reason, sexy females linger near him.
Frances (Julie London), Irene and Christine.
Not that he remembers, since ole Joe was on a drunken bender.
Shoot, he doesn’t even know how Irene got murdered afterward.
Middling Noir, cheap looking, decent acting, smoky tune by Alika Louis.
Don’t hunt for it, but if this airs late night, it’s watchable.

No Offence: S01 - 2015 - 6/10

Police procedural set in Manchester.
There is an ongoing arc of a sexual predator targeting females with Downs Syndrome, as well as an individual one-off storyline each week.
Stereotypes in the roles (troubled detective, new insecure detective), but the boss lady is a force of nature.
Eight episodes, easy to take.
This is actually a very funny series, though the humor is gallows black.
Note - The Mancunian accent is pronounced. Subs might be helpful.

Orpheus In The Record Store - 2021 - 7/10

After hours, Orpheus spins a few records on the turntable.
Each recalls a memory: childhood, customers, his father, the shop, the girl.
Life is what you make it. You get what you give.
Oh yeah?
Most find Life is unpredictable, sometimes harsh.
Essentially a one-man show, with an increasing array of backup musicians.
Vinyl lovers, hold the faith.