Vultural

Hello, My Name Is Doris - 2015 - 5/10

Sure, whatever. Nice meeting you, Doris, now goodbye.
Sally Field plays 60+ schlemiel in Manhattan ad agency, everyone else is 20’s and 30’s.
A transfer arrives from California, 30 year old guy she develops the hots for.
She stalks him via social media, shows up at music raves.
One-sided “romance” is not Harold And Maude.
Doris has zero vitality, has the fashion sense of a bag lady, and the social skills of a leftover bagel.
Her obsession is creepy. Apologists cry that if men do it, so can she.
Sorry, pilgrim, stretching two generations is generally beyond accepted norms, for either gender.
Secondary plot deals with the aftermath of her mother’s death, with whom she had been living.
Her brother (and wife) suggest she clean out the Staten Island house before selling - and what - share the proceeds? Seems filmmakers dialed back that aspect so to make him more sympathetic.

Sadie - 2021 - 7/10

That’s Sadie above right, with her boyfriend’s analyst, left.
In the middle, her ex. Actually, he’s dead.
Also on the scene is her young boyfriend. Much younger boyfriend.
And her uncle, the only one who really loved her. He’s dead, too.
Sadie has issues. She is angry, toxic, with a long list.
“… I hate everybody younger than me.
“I hate the lockdown. I hate masks.
“I hate that everyone has to have an effing opinion about everything these days.
“I hate that everyone’s so easily effing offended.
“I hate Netflix and all the endless effing channels now.
“I hate “the new normal”. I miss the old normal.
“I miss the old days. I can’t even believe I’m calling them that.
“Doesn’t feel that long ago - the '90s, the '80s, the '70s.
“I miss Van Halen and Def Leppard.
“I miss having a slim waist.
“I miss Bill Clinton and Tony Blair, cos even though they were c++s, at least it felt like they were grown-ups and they knew what they were doing, even if what they were doing was s++t.
“I miss my mother.
“I hate that I’ve inherited her sickening addiction to nostalgia…”
By turns savagely funny, then desperately sad.

Crime Against Joe - 1956 - 5/10

Our hero is an unsuccessful (untalented) artist.
A war veteran, he still lives with Mom, who supports her unemployed son.
Like his deceased father, when he is frustrated – say with his artistic efforts – he hits the booze and the bars.
For whatever reason, sexy females linger near him.
Frances (Julie London), Irene and Christine.
Not that he remembers, since ole Joe was on a drunken bender.
Shoot, he doesn’t even know how Irene got murdered afterward.
Middling Noir, cheap looking, decent acting, smoky tune by Alika Louis.
Don’t hunt for it, but if this airs late night, it’s watchable.

No Offence: S01 - 2015 - 6/10

Police procedural set in Manchester.
There is an ongoing arc of a sexual predator targeting females with Downs Syndrome, as well as an individual one-off storyline each week.
Stereotypes in the roles (troubled detective, new insecure detective), but the boss lady is a force of nature.
Eight episodes, easy to take.
This is actually a very funny series, though the humor is gallows black.
Note - The Mancunian accent is pronounced. Subs might be helpful.

Orpheus In The Record Store - 2021 - 7/10

After hours, Orpheus spins a few records on the turntable.
Each recalls a memory: childhood, customers, his father, the shop, the girl.
Life is what you make it. You get what you give.
Oh yeah?
Most find Life is unpredictable, sometimes harsh.
Essentially a one-man show, with an increasing array of backup musicians.
Vinyl lovers, hold the faith.

The Cell - 2000 - 6/10

Aww, man, this is one of those films I was ecstatic about when it first screened.
Bought the DVD, rewatched, and each time enjoyed less and less.
Feds ask a “counselor” to use tech gear to mind-meld with a comatose serial killer.
Reason, where is the most recent victim still hidden?
The look, the effects, are outstanding, especially so on first encounter.
Plotwise, the story doesn’t always make sense.
Moreover, our “heroes” from the Feds to the psychologist, they seem perfumed with sympathy repellent.
Artsy, yet sterile. Best to watch once and leave the wow factor intact.

Freeheld - 2015 - 6/10

Biopic of Laurel Hester, New Jersey cop for 23 years who developed Stage 4 lung cancer.
When she requested her pension be awarded to her life partner, Stacie, the county board (all male) declined her request.
Multiple reasons are offered, though the main one is - Gasp! Your life partner is …? You mean, lesbo --?
Scenes inside committee meetings seem one-sided.
Most controversial social debates display multiple voices: pro and con.
That is glimpsed in the 2007 documentary Freeheld on which this film is derived.
Movie comes off as over-earnest, heart tugging, emotionally manipulative.
Not that there is anything ostensibly wrong with that, fine movies do so often. Yet this is obvious.
Those expecting Julianne Moore to echo her portrayal from Still Alice will be disappointed.
Midway, her character disappears and yields center stage to others.

The Gift - 2015 - 7/10

Terrific, intelligent thriller. (I shall try to be careful here.)
Man bumps into old schoolmate whilst buying new home supplies with his bride.
The old chum “invites” himself into their home, then into their lives.
The guy is reserved, moody, and the wife’s radar goes off.
Husband then remembers the guy’s school nickname was “Weirdo.”
Twenty minutes in, this has all the trappings of the 137 cookie cutter stalker flicks.
Only noooooo, the plot starts to skew and assumptions unravel.
BEWARE OF REVIEWS, try to watch this cold.
Darkly satisfying.

Good Luck To You, Leo Grande - 2022 - 7/10

Older woman, younger man. Intimacy, awkwardness, fear of exposure.
Only Nancy, a retired school teacher, has hired Leo for adult activity.
Oh, she has two grown children, as well as a husband, dead and buried.
Yet in the romance department, physical department, there had been shortcomings.
Nancy hopes there is still time to make up ground, experience what she had missed.
Dialogue driven drama, with adult language and situations.
Much feels theatrical, although acting from the two leads is impeccable
Will possibly resonate more with females, or with those attempting a new relationship.

The Morning After - 1986 - 6/10

Has-been actress, now a lush, wakes next to a corpse.
How? Who? Uh, did I? Nothing like death to rouse sodden brain cells.
Hey! She belongs to an alcoholics support group, where there’s an ex-cop.
How lazy is this?
Jane Fonda and Jeff Bridges have, if not chemistry, an easy rapport.
The photography is glorious, especially if you pine for sunshine LA.
Still, this is a mystery, and a poor one at that. If you want a thriller, watch something else.

Return Of Don Hardy (Criss Cross + The Underneath) - Steven Soderbergh

This time out, Mr Soderbergh mixes 1949’s “Criss Cross” with his own remake, “The Underneath” (1995). A damaged male, longing for a corrupted ex, allows himself to get sucked into a caper. The classic Noir benefits from a powerhouse cast and superb pacing. The remake, though a bit sluggish, delves more into characters.

Video - 1920 X 1080 AVC. Burt Lancaster on one side, Peter Gallagher on the other. Both prints are sharp. The 1995 film is letterboxed, so takes up more of the screen. The 1949 version is more “active” so the eye gets drawn there.

Audio - 256 kbps AAC. Stereo? Both VLC and Spek Bitrate indicated stereo, but the experience through headphones seemed mono for most of the edit. Not a big deal.
As with a few of his other works, the editor has wiped the original audio and replaced with music cues, in this case, songs. In previous reviews, I have grumbled about this editor, his tendency to select music that has no bearing with screen proceedings. Here, the music pairs nicely. If I have an issue, he lets some songs play on too long. Example: during a “love scene” Sam Phillips croons in the background. The scene ends, she’s still piping. Please, fade the track. You have no problem rearranging video elements, do the same for audio.

The narrative holds together well. Sans dialogue, this is a fine example of “show don’t tell.” The basic story is easy to follow, and the editor has cut so that each film informs the other. Impressive work, this.

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Would I rewatch? Probably not. This is not as good as the original, “Criss Cross,” but I found it better his own “The Underneath” remake. I also appreciate that he is editing one of his own works, something else I have mentioned. This edit is an arresting concept and I would recommend it.
Soderbergh does not provide a commentary, but his extension765 (still online 2022) offers insight in “Evolution Of An Approach”.

Miami Vice: Score - RangerKris

Filesize = 5.47 GB, Video = 512 X 384p AVC, Audio = 317 AAC, 2-Channel stereo. No subs.

Combination of the two-part “Golden Triangle” episodes.
After meandering around with counterfeiters, crooked cops and hookers, and abandoning those, the plot left turns into “newly arrived” Lieutenant Castillo’s backstory.
His old nemesis has emigrated from Asia and is now in Miami, setting up operations for heroin smuggling and human trafficking.
Castillo squares off his team against one with more muscle, financially, politically, socially.
The audio is fine in this. The video seems curiously washed out, notable for a series famed for its saturated hues. Grain is also evident.
This series could really benefit from a complete restoration. This is not it.
What this is, is a fine adaptation of two television episodes. The look, style, image ratio, etc, is TV.
While I enjoyed watching, and can appreciate the work involved in this edit, I doubt I will rewatch.

King Kong (Vintage Edition) - GEKKO

The most padded version of the hairy thunderer gets a makeover. The film is given the black n white treatment, as well as much needed pruning.

Video - 720 X 480p AVC. This was the mp4 file. Editing is excellent, though the picture is not always solid. Again, this was an SD file and one expects lower quality. Many of the dinosaur scenes still look like garbage. When Ann Driscoll is running head to head with the 'saur it is fake looking. Increasing grain may have smoothed this.

Audio - 82 kbps (variable) AAC, 2 Channel. No subs. Dialogue is discernible.

Despite losing a third of the running time, the narrative holds together. Pacing still feels sluggish, however

Yes, I know Gekko cut over an hour. It is still too damn long to be enjoyable. And while the editor aimed to focus on the 3 Ds, only Ann Driscoll merits the time. Jack Black is the definition of hammy here, and Adrian Brody sleepwalks his performance. I appreciate that GEKKO wanted to emulate the 30’s version, but this does not resemble that. At best, this is watchable, more so if you are a fan of the 2005 Jackson movie.

Blade 3 Behead The King (Blade Trinity) - CBB

Filesize = 5.4 GB, Video = 720 X 480p AVC, Audio = 316 kbps 5.1 AAC. Subs = yes.

As most know, the original had problems which killed the franchise.
Boon strips away most of the stupidity, the incompetent dialogue, crowd service.
The result is a propulsive, action driven comic. Not much thinking goes on.
Like the original, the edit is “too white”, the villain hammy, and in Boon’s version, the ending is weird.
While I enjoyed this, I have major, major reservations.
I believe this was originally a DVD. What is currently available is an mp4, omitting bonus material.
The sound mix envelopes and the dialogue clear. There are subtitles, yet they are indifferently timed. Sometimes preceding comments, other times tarrying behind, and other times missing.
Worse by far, there is a hiccup, a glitch, that occurs every four seconds, throughout the entire edit.
This is a glaring error and would never have been approved in 2006.
Consequently, I urge those who want to view this work to track down the original DVD and bypass the mp4.
I must confess it was nice to see closing credits with Fanedited com. Bygone times.

The Man With The Golden Gun (LESS IS MOORE Edition) - MusicEd

Filesize = 12.4 GB, Video = 1920 X 1080p AVC, Audio = 384 kbps AAC 2-Channel stereo. No subs.

An acceptable Moore outing gets a trim, and now hews closer to a Connery Bond.
Biggest cut, J.W. Pepper, who was unendurable in **Live And Let Die”” and completely pointless for the second Moore vehicle. Of course, the car chase is likewise in the disposal, which is also great if you, like me, find chases overlong padding.
Using the Alice Cooper band’s “The Man With The Golden Gun” makes common sense, though Lulu’s version echoes Bassey’s brassy rendition. AC was more relevant at the time, Lulu more British.
Editing, video and audio is excellent. Video especially so.
The audio is murky in places, primarily Maud Adams around the 1:05 point.
Filesize is pretty big, beyond the range of most DVD-R. I doubt enthusiasts of fanedits will devote limited drive space to saving these larger edits.
This edit makes a solid case for Moore as 007. Subsequent forays would grow sillier and bloated, in keeping with the zeitgeist of the 70’s.
MusicEd’s overhaul is superb. Bond fans should see this, I wish Roger Moore had seen it.

Obscene: A Portrait Of Barney Rosset and Grove Press - 2007 - 6/10

Scored this high early on, lowered it as the film progressed.
Suspicious documentary of the publisher of Grove Press.
The first half of this is absolutely smashing! New York literary elite, the Beats, Jazz greats. All signposted.
Rosset bought a tiny press and proceeded to publish “Lady Chatterley’s Lover,” “Tropic Of Cancer,” and “Naked Lunch.”
Each time, he and his cohorts fought local censors and numerous courts. Grove became the locus of the new generation of literature. and published the 50’s edgy icons.

Next, Grove bought I Am Curious Yellow and fought for the film.
By the 70’s, however, Grove was publishing Victorian erotica (porn in purple prose).

Those erotic titles were the ones I distinctly remember seeing in the drugstore racks.
The press, as well as the documentary, goes downhill at this point.
There was a well publicized strike by, as Rosset called them, women libbers.
A bomb went off. He lost his business, he lost his property.
Everyone soft pedaled the latter years. Last twenty minutes feels like a whitewash.

7 Up & Me - 2019 - 6/10

Airing just before the release of 63 Up, this has clips from the series, as well as comments and reflections by various TV and film stars.
Each sharing their own growing up traumas and challenges … before they became successful.
A curio for diehard fans of the series, though it is neither here nor there, and hardly essential.

Hideous Kinky - 1998 - 6/10

Following a divorce (?) Julia moves herself and her two young daughters to Marrakesh.
Heady, exotic, colorful, but Julia is of limited means so they live poorly.
Residents in her run down apartment disdain her, steal from her.
In a quest for enlightenment, purpose, she is blind to the day to day.
Ravishing photography, sharp eye for local color, yet the story is a muddle.
At the end, the point of view shifts, and it probably should have been that way throughout.

My Gun Is Quick - 1957 - 6/10

Low budget quickie of tawdry Mickey Spillane novel.
Mike Hammer helps out jailbait hooker in hash house.
Couple beats later, downtown police advise him girl was found dead.
Curious, Hammer starts investigating.
Crappy sets, no name actors, indifferent music score bear witness to limited resources.
This actually works in favor of the cheap look and gritty feel of the material.
Spillane’s pulp cocktail of strippers, murderers, WWII smugglers, and sex is well served.

Mogul Mowgli - 2020 - 6/10

Better late than never.
Finishing a US tour, British / Pakistani rapper Zed is invited to be opener for a headline act.
Even though he is somewhere in his 30’s, and old in the game, this is the big break.
So why is his body starting to act up? Now, of all times.
Character study of the talented in conflict with time, with family, rivals, his heritage, himself.
Some cultural references I grasped, others eluded me.
There are dream fugues that interrupt the narrative without adding to it.
Conflict and crises are poorly elaborated and the ending feels rushed and tacked on.

Fresh - 2022 - 7/10

Dating. It can just be the worst. Check that, dating is the worst.
The phony face of best behavior, masking the selfish toad beneath.
Still, miraculously, shopping late one night, Noa meets Steve at the grocery store.
They make the casual connection, swap numbers, forget and chill.
After a week, they start doing the restaurants. Selectively, Steve is vegan.
Followed by the long weekend getaway, the next major step … straight into chains.
Horrifying date romp manages to be gut churning and wickedly funny.
The dialogue sparkles, rare in genre films.
Beautifully composed (where is that house?), smartly directed.
One of the better recent terror films … maybe not for vegans.

Faneditors, take note!

Empire State Building Murders - 2008 - 6/10
AKA - Meurtres à l’Empire State Building

Sordid tale, told in flashbacks by the detective (Kirk Douglas), enforcer (Ben Gazarra), rival (Mickey Rooney), maid (Marsha Hunt), girlfriends (Cyd Charisse & Anne Jeffreys).
Late 1940’s, New York is ruled by three Mafia dons: Tony (James Cagney), Brassi (Edward G. Robinson) and Rico (Lawrence Tierney).
Then Tony meets Penny (Lauren Bacall), who acts as propane to simmering tensions.
Unbelievable romp through Film Noir is packed with careening, ofttimes absurd narratives.
Dozens of old clips woven to concoct a loose story that is part mystery, part are-you-kidding-me?
Final film role for some, near the end for most.
Wonderful treat for Noir fans. Did I mention Bogart, Lizabeth Scott, Richard Widmark, Simone Simon?

Young Desire - 1930 - 5/10

Helen, sick and tired of the cootch show, leaves the carnival.
Walking the back road, she meets a swell. Young, naïve, wowed by her looks and worldliness.
As he buys her dinner, gets her an apartment, Helen plans to fleece him down to his skin.
Only thing, he’s so earnest, and so wild about her, she can’t stop falling in love with him.
Meanwhile, the carnival travels the circuit and is soon back in that little town.
And Helen’s past resurfaces.
Creaky early talkie, early Pre-Code, something of a soaper, although Helen’s beau returns home every night between 2 AM and 3 AM, leading one to wonder what that couple is doing all night in her apartment.
Mary Nolan is mouth-watering, but she has problems “acting”. She waits for others to say their lines, thinks a moment, then says hers. William Janney is no great shakes either, but he is perfectly cast!
Fans of Nolan, this is still a must. The print I viewed was pretty good.

Lady In The Van - 2015 - 7/10

Beware - Advertised as a comedy. Maybe in the “better him than me” genre.
Maggie Smith plays homeless lady who moves onto a street, eventually one resident’s driveway and stays 15 years!
She never does find work, frightens the children, does not bathe, is argumentative, imperious, manipulative.
Gradually, very gradually, viewers peek into slices of her past, and realize hers has been a tragically wasted life.
While I did not enjoy this film, the plot construction is excellent, score works well, acting is peerless.
Challenging movie to love, though easy to appreciate.
Based on a short book, then on a much lauded play (2000, also with Maggie Smith).

The real question is how neighbors tolerated Mary / Margaret in their midst.
Most streets would have summoned authorities and institutionalized her within days.
Recommended, though her character is exasperating.
Keep a sharp eye out for numerous cameos!

Casshern - 2004 - 6/10
AKA - Kyashān // キャシャーン

After fifty years of global conflict, humanity hangs on, though fighting continues to dwindle numbers.
Plebes suffer, starve, philosophize, while leaders exhort the rabble to persevere.
Enter Tetsuya, mortally wounded, surgically altered into bio-tech warrior, Casshern.
The plot is messy and disjointed (I’m being kind) in this dystopian battle game.
CGI effects are dated, yet weirdly compelling.
Actually, the visuals will keep you watching this overlong, preachy “message” film.
I’m convinced a talented faneditor could alter the dialogue, restructure the plot and make something of this.