Vultural

The Headless Woman - 2008 - 5/10
AKA - La Mujer Sin Cabeza

In spite of a title like that, I knew what I was heading into with this Argentinian drama.
While driving home, a woman’s cellphone rings. So, of course …
She strikes something. She sees a shape back on the road, but is too shaken to investigate. Instead, returns home, dazed.
Her world is filled with dozens of relatives. Husband, brother, male cousins, females, children.
A “close” and confusing family. Close, as in a quickie with a male cousin, a female niece with lesbian tendencies.
Minor characters such as doctors, gardeners, patients, random neighbors wander into the scene, disappear.
Confused? Yeah, so was our heroine. a meandering Virginia Woolf caricature.
Rich enough to suffer a guilt complex without facing any consequences.
Many viewed this as a thriller, symbolizing society’s refusal to accept responsibility. Others felt it a snooze.
Arthouse crowd was, not surprisingly, divided about this.

You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger - 2010 - 5/10

God … Has it really been thirty years since Silence Of The Lambs was released?
Yes, indeed, and going by Hopkins’ physical appearance here, the first 20 were hard years.
He plays a man suffering a mid-life crisis, who divorces his wife (Gemma Jones) and subsequently marries his rent-by-the-position B-girl.
There are four or five plots working simultaneously, featuring Antonio Banderas, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin.
This was not a comedy, nor was it one it one of Woody Allen’s darker films.
This was an odd construction, more about individuals losing their way.
The voiceover was invasive. The narrator was clearly American, yet the film was set in London.
Moreover, the narration did little to advance the plot or provide illumination.
It merely echoed the obvious.

El Critico - 2013 - 6/10
AKA - The Film Critic

The plight of the film critic. Forced to watch an unhealthy diet of pap, pretension, redundancy, stupidity.
No wonder our critic in this Argentina film is negative, cynical, and single.
He is being allowed to squat in his apartment which is being razed, and may soon be homeless.
Then he finds the perfect apartment! Except a woman has beaten him to the lease.
What ensues, to his disgust, is attraction, squabbling, soaring violins, breathless kisses, running.
He is trapped as a romantic comedy cliché.
El Critico, a rather uncertain comedy, will be better suited to viewers who are familiar with the RomCom genre and the obligatory tropes.

Death Note - 2006 - 8/10
AKA - Desu Nōto // デスノート

I haven’t had this much fun since Battle Royale, the first one.
A wonderful chess match, horror film.
I say horror loosely, as it is also a thriller, a mystery and a detective yarn.
Light inherits the Death Note journal. Anyone’s name written in the book will die.
Although Light targets criminals, the best intentions often go astray.
“L” spearheads the search for Light’s secret identity.
Move followed by counter-move. Wildly popular, great flick. The sequels pale.
Avoid US version, aimed at those with an IQ of a carrot.

5-Headed Shark Attack - 2017 - 4/10

Every time I think the girls have tired of shark flicks, another finned loser appears.
True love, I suppose, never dies.
Anyway, a multi-mouthed shark rears its heads off Puerto Rican shores (clearly before Hurricane Maria and the massive restoration projects launched by the Donald Administration).
Local cops seek guidance from folks who run the big aquarium that is foundering financially.
The insatiable shark chomps other sharks, tasty humans, even a whale!
Not as asinine or cynical as the Sharknado franchise, yet this is still crap.
Early in the story, when two-legged meals (aquarium staff) climbed onboard, I commented about a member.
“Back in 80’s Slasher films, that person would be victim Numero Uno. By the PC mid-90’s, that person would be untouched. Nowadays, no idea.”
Thirty seconds later, that person was Unhappy Meal #1. No PC guidelines in this winner.

Four Nights Of A Dreamer - 1971 - 6/10
AKA - Quatre Nuits d’un Rêveur

Marthe, poised on the middle of the bridge, is stopped from leaping by Jacques.
That’s night one. Over the ensuing three nights, they share each other’s stories.
Jacques comes across as stalker lite, but he is a painter so one may forgive him and assume he is studying faces.
Marthe suffers “relationship” problems. The sort where you consider suicide.
Their meetings occur at night, and director Bresson has a wonderful eye for rain blurred streets.
Not much goes on, actually, but this is an atmospheric film for night owls.

Forbidden Lie$ - 2007 - 6/10

Norma Khouri penned the international bestseller, “Forbidden Love,” about the honor killing of her best friend, Dalia.
Then an Australian journalist exposed the book as a hoax.
This movie follows Khouri back to Jordan, where she repeatedly alters the story, dates, names, places.
She always has a new explanation, a fresh excuse.
Discoveries mount, old sins are exposed.
Fascinating portrayal of the chronic liar.

David Crosby: Remember My Name - 2019 - 7/10

I feared this would be yet another “victory lap” from a dimming star.
Not so. Crosby delivers a caustic commentary on his past behavior and treatment of females and bandmates.
One telling statement is that none of his previous mates will have anything to do with him.
Drugs played their part, but so too did an inflexible attitude, or as he put it, just being a jerk.
Crosby, refreshingly, never glosses over misdeeds - a sharp contrast to docs curated by family members.
This is everything that Echo In The Canyon (2018) should have been.

Echo In The Canyon - 2019 - 5/10

Overhyped documentary seems created primarily for an uninformed homage concert.
Leading SoCal musicians took up residences in Laurel Canyon from the mid-60’s onward.
Surviving relics air their history of what times were like. The fog of misremembered nostalgia hangs.
A great many people and bands omitted, chief among them: The Doors, Joni Mitchell, Zappa’s cronies.
The retro concert showcase more current performers who do not seem to grasp the songs.
So-called “classic” songs were originally sung by musicians in their twenties, brimming with optimism and hope.
Modern concert event is performed by aging X-ers (in their 40’s-50’s) too old and too jaded for optimism, having grown up with a worldview of irony and sarcasm.
I had been looking forward to this since I first heard of it. Sadly, this was a major disappointment.
My bride, equally soured, began playing Byrds albums to wash the new arrangements from her ears.

Donkey Punch - 2008 - 5/10

Another dead teenager plot.
Seven Brits, vacationing in Mallorca, hook up for a night of booze, drugs, and mattress action.
Aboard a yacht, no less.
When rough sex leads to accidental death, paranoia mounts … as does the death count.
Characters had IQ’s smaller than a sea sponge, though they were inventive with choice of weapons.

Note: Subs may be necessary. Characters from Leeds and N England had strong accents, not always understandable.

Animal Kingdom - 2010 - 7/10

Young man is orphaned and moves in with his grandmother and uncles.
The adult men are hardened, armed robbers, laying low between heists, under police surveillance.
This is not a high voltage actioner. Animal Kingdom is a study of grim decline and the inevitability of Fate.
I’ll confess, part of the draw for me was Jacki Weaver, Aussie croc-bait from 70’s exploitation flicks.
She is mesmerizing as the woman who holds the men together in a sweet smiling, grip of iron.
Basis for a US drama with actors buffed and beautiful.

Episode V: The Overclock Edition (The Empire Strikes Back) – Overclock

Extremely noisy and aggressive fanedit. Straight off, let me declare this ought to be considered a SILENT edit. The entire audio track has been erased. Dialogue, music, effects. Gone, baby, gone. In its place is a fiery thrash power trio, the Overclock Orchestra. If this appeals to you, read no further. Get the edit and crank volume to 11.

Driving 2.0 metal score, well arranged and played. As noted by other reviewers, additional sound effects would have been welcomed. Explosions, blaster fire, crashes, doors, even if relegated to rear surrounds.

The music held my interest for awhile. The Hoth sequence was cleverly done, with a sly nod to the Williams score that had me saying “Cool” out loud. The opening of Part III, Bespin, featured a brooding riff Joe Satriani would have been proud of. Such was fleeting, however. During thoughtful or quiet scenes, such as when Yoda mentors Luke, Overclock members grind away, often with little regard to the visuals.

Z-Rock used to scream, “If it’s too loud, you’re too old!” I hear that.
Nevertheless, the propulsive Overclock attack will bleed your eardrums. γνῶθι σεαυτόν

Full thirty minute edit - Episode V Overclock

Eternal Sunshine (Of The Spotless Mind) - Ken Poirier

Distillation of Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind is hauntingly effective.
It focuses on the breakup / erasure, followed by the all-too-human tendency to cling to cherished memories.
Video quality is scruffy, with too much damage.
The audio is not exactly spotless, either.
The story itself is the hook. A poignant look at how fleeting are relationships.
And how fragile - terribly fragile - is love.
Banned but not forgotten, Mr Poirier was a decent editor and longstanding member of FE.
I remember him being shown the door, though I cannot recall the details.
His presence is missed.

I, Zathius (Babylon 5) - TM2YC

If ever Babylon 5 wanted to go the Doctor Who route, this was the path.
Zathius (whichever 1 of 10) slipped in and out, almost at random, disturbing the timestream.
After a confusing opening five minutes, the narrative settles and this makes a case for logically understanding this odd being’s behavior.
The audio is fine throughout, the video elements show their age.
This is an extended short, and “breathes” better than other Consecutions.
That said, the tone ranges all over the map, from serious to farce to poignant.
Big, big thanks for the ‘in memoriam’ roll near the end. Nice touch.
This was a favorite series of mine for years. Less so now, I’m afraid.

Hardy, Kate - Londonia

A futuristic (borderline dystopian) novel, just the sort of book I normally shun.
Nevertheless, my curiosity overcame my misgivings.
The woman is in rather a fog.
Her memory is tatters; she doesn’t know where she is, or even her own name. When asked, she studies the charm around her neck and replies, “Hoxton.”
In this sprawling book, we accompany Hoxton as she navigates greater Londonia, still recovering from a technological meltdown several lifetimes earlier.
Hoxton becomes a “finder,” rooting out baubles for the idle pampered gentry in the fortified Cincture.
Unlike most futurist dystopias, Londonia is not all gloom and despair. Citizens are genuinely trying to make a go of it. Barter and trade, rather than slaving or factional warfare.
This is a hopeful book. The story is a highly entertaining one.
There is a brief glossary at the back for the odd word here and there. Knowing a touch of French would not hurt. I’m surprised there was scant Gaelic, though perhaps Londonia was easier for Parisians to reach, more difficult for the Scots.
Years ago, a sadly missed bookseller would have called this a thumping good read.

Okkupert - 2015 - 7/10
AKA - Occupied

Ten part Norwegian thriller set in the very near future (say a couple of years).
United States has withdrawn from NATO and grown isolationist.
The Mid-East is embroiled in civil wars.
After global warming disasters, Norway goes “green” and halts oil and gas production.
The European Union “requests” Russia to stabilize Norway, and ensure the oil flows.
Stabilization grows into occupation. Citizens turn into rebels, appeasers, collaborators, profiteers.
Often changing positions due to the world of quicksand they are caught in.
Logic is not always to the forefront here. Why does Russia care if Norway ceases oil production since that means more profits for Russia with less competition?
Engrossing story about a larger nation superseding the rights of its smaller neighbor.
Not surprisingly, Russia denounced this show.

Le Mans - 1971 - 7/10

A movie for McQueen fans and gearheads.
With only a handful of dramatic moments, this runs like a documentary.
Moreover, this bears the look and feel of European cinema from that era.
80% of the film is racing footage. Roaring engines, screeching tires, announcements over the PA system.
A minimal Michel Legrand score during lulls. Otherwise, viewers are immersed in the crowd.
In many ways, this reflects a last look of the gentleman’s sport of motoring, before commercial interference.
Le Mans is and was a unique film. No soap opera elements, no childish dramatics, no intrusive music.
All sports car films are dwarfed by this.

Comedy Of Power - 2006 - 6/10
AKA - L’ivresse du Pouvoir

Isabelle Huppert plays no-nonsense prosecuting attorney, trying to bring down the influential old boy cartel.
She has snagged a big fish and hopes that will lead to larger game.
Were that such strategies unfold so easily.
Layers and walls shield the real money, plus they know how to counterattack.
Pragmatic, almost cynical, study of political and economic corruption.
Huppert’s home life catches an odd triangle between her, her husband and his nephew.

Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation! - 2008 - 5/10 or 7/10

Documentary of Australian gonzo exploitation films from the 70’s onward.
Car crashes, nudity, cheap ripoffs of current hits.
These paved the way for Mad Max breakthroughs and popular fare of today such as Wolf Creek and Storm Warning.
Hosted by Quentin Tarantino.
Grindhouse fans, prepare to enjoy. Arthouse enthusiasts, move along.

Shockproof - 1949 - 5/10

The doll steps onto Hollywood Boulevard, pavement of dreams and broken promises.
Like a pampered feline, she glides into glittering boutiques and coolly purchases French perfume and flashy dresses of green satin and red silk.
Then she slinks down in the cramped office, bright from the blinding Los Angeles haze outside, the room sliced with shadows from window louvers that keep out neither the sun nor the heat
The man behind the desk is the boy scout, the square shooter, the honorable man.
Her parole officer.
Jenny crosses those long legs, flashes the smile that had ruined other men, even answers the hard questions, including -
“Yeah, I murdered him. But I’m paroled now.”
The cop is more cynical than yesterdays rubbish. He’s heard the lies before, all of 'em. Criminals never change, they merely learn new hustles.
Something about this one, this Jenny, is different, he thinks. Could be her dress, open at the neck, or the French scent, rising from the vale of desire. Could be her legs, tanned and smooth. Or it could be the hair, that flowing blonde hair.
Only the blonde came poured from a bottle, her yellow is fools gold. Flashy, but cheap, not real. Just like Jenny.
He ought to know better, our parole officer. Yet he sits transfixed by the hair, the legs, and the fragrance of perfume and warm skin. He breathes it in. Unaware, he climbs the gallows of temptation, before taking a swan dive into the troubled waters of love.

Shockproof is a Paramount crime drama, not nearly as pulpy as my opening synopsis.
Most of it moves slow and stiff, bordering on melodrama, with a Noir dash near the end.
Sam Fuller wrote the tawdry script, but Hollywood altered his ending.
An early Douglas Sirk film, replete with luxurious wardrobes, superb use of lighting, and masterful set design, including the haunting Bradbury Building (Blade Runner and “Demon with a Glass Hand”).
The story itself? Eh.
The two leads have the chemistry of a pair of water-logged two by fours.
Surprising, because in real life Cornel Wilde and Patricia Knight were a married couple.
Time waster, though Sirk enthusiasts will find plenty to admire.

Two Days, One Night - 2015 - 6/10
AKA - Deux Jours, Une Nuit

Many unanswered questions litter this Belgium/French film.
Just as Sandra is ready to return to her workplace, she learns she has been laid off.
Workmates were given a vote: Keep Sandra, or let her go and get a bonus of €1000 each.
Late Friday, the employer agrees to a second vote on Monday morning.
There were only 16 employees involved, and the narrative follows Sandra as she goes from house to house, person to person, begging to reinstate her job and give up that bonus.
A moral dilemma, to be sure, and sadly, not uncommon.

To be blunt, I did not like Sandra. She was out with depression (film did not say how long), she pops Xanacs like candy, suffers repeated meltdowns, and constantly gives up.
All of us have worked with characters like Sandra.
Quitters, whiners, or simply unable to cope for whatever reason (sometimes through no fault of their own).
Nonetheless, these are souls everyone else must carry.
Females who watched with me, were grudgingly more sympathetic.
They said I have no conception of what it is like to deal with moodswings and raging hormones.
“Too bad, work at home.” (Yes, Mr. Sympathy.)
Brilliant performance.

The Girl From Monaco - 2008 - 4/10
AKA - La Fille de Monaco

The main character, a high powered defense attorney is miswritten as a Woody Allen nebbish type.
He makes relationship mistakes (personal and sexual) over and over.
An alibi presents itself, yet he makes a decision that no actual lawyer would ever make.
The ending is incompetent.
Pathetic writing, weak directing, over acting sink this dud quicker than an ice cube in boiling water.
Pass, unless you are the French film completest.

Passionate Lovers - 1982 - 4/10
AKA - I Eromeni // Ι ερομενι /// The Ambitious Lover

Aspiring Greek dancer wants to meet the great entrepreneur producer so she can fulfill her dreams.
She makes a heady impression, and within five minutes they find a room for bouncy bouncy.
Wait! He’s already married! Our dancer, Anna, she does not care. It’s love.
Wait! The producer is in debt over 30 million drachma. Oh well, easy come, easy go.
His wife, meanwhile, a jealous, ka-zillionaire sculptor, toys with a panting gym instructor.
The show numbers are cheap, interiors are empty, and an aura of sleaze pervades.
Worst of all, despite the nudity, trashy behavior, and weird subplots, the film bores.
Aside from the sultry María José Cantudo, no one else involved seems to make much effort.

Faneditors, take note!

Strange Bargain - 1949 - 6/10

When Sam asks his boss for a raise, he is reminded that the firm is struggling, and then fired.
Soon thereafter, the boss makes a proposal.
“I intend to kill myself, but I want you to make it look like murder afterward. My family will get the insurance, and I’ll pay you $10,000.”
What could go wrong?
Minor crime mystery benefits from good cast and an acceptable premise.
Sam is an innocent soul, though, and you cringe, watching him make mistake after mistake.

Murder, She Wrote: The Days Dwindle Down (S03E21) - 1987 - NA

So, almost 40 years later, Strange Bargain gets a reboot on an episode of Murder, She Wrote.
J. B. Fletcher is asked to solve an old mystery, shown using flashbacks of the 1949 movie.
Flashbacks are edited so that the story is modified.
Any good? A trio of original actors reprise their roles, and June Havoc and Gloria Stuart are brought in.
This is Murder, She Wrote, however, which generally has a safe predictability.
Once every blue moon, though, the series kicked out a rather dark episode.
This is one of those.

Last Exorcism - 2010 - 5/10

Rural Southern horror, better than anticipated.
Small time exorcist tries to release possessed girl, living among her disturbed family.
Atmospheric score. Welcome misdirection here and there.
Creative use of minuscule budget and limited sets.
Dark, moody flick, reminds one of rotten growth, bloated corpses, in a dank corner of kudzu.