Vultural

St. Trinian’s - 2007 - 6/10

Remake of the 50’s classic series.
England’s notorious St. Trinian’s all girl school.
Lots of girls in uniforms. Cute girls, hot babes, randy vixens, Goth gurlz, stoners.
Goofy hijinks in a silly plot to save the ‘school for misfits’ from closure.
This comedy was slagged by a pile UK critics, 35-60 year old geezers, but fared better after a global release. A hoot from beginning to end.
Colin Firth, Rupert Everett, Gemma Arterton, Russell Brand, and probably 10 future stars.

Berberian Sound Studio - 2012 - 6/10

Toby Jones plays sound designer hired to work on 70’s Italian horror film.
Think Argento or Fulci (Zombie, Demons . . . )
Interesting for the first half hour, bogs down, grows pretentious, artsy, preposterous.
Reviews have been all over the map. I think I scored kindly.
Film looks good, though dark, and does a fine job showing how effects were made.
Jones plays his character one-note. The narrative wanders then stops.

Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans - 2009 - 6/10

Where to begin …
Nicholas Cage gives another crazed, over the top performance in Werner Herzog film.
A cop with neither morals nor check switch.
The group I watched this with hated it.
For myself, I have mixed feelings.
Co-starring Val Kilmer, Brad Dourif, Eva Mendes, and Xzibit, this should have been better than a television knockoff.
Cage’s character pops more drugs than Mötley Crüe, with less consequences.
For local color, Herzog did some point of view shots from the back of an alligator, later an iguana.
Plastic alligators.
If you view this as a parody of police procedurals, you may like this better.

The Ship Of Lost Men - 1929 - 6/10
AKA - Das Schiff der Verlorenen Menschen

A young American doctor gets caught on a battered ship sailing from Hamburg to Brazil.
The captain is a cruel tyrant, the crew are cutthroats or criminals on the run.
Into their midst falls a female aviatrix (early Marlene Dietrich) who ignites passions.
One of the last Silents, this is moody, darkly lensed, and slow as a wintry puddle.
Viewers longing for things to happen will wait and wait and wait.
Many times, when a film plods, I study costumes and sets.
Not here, with minimalist interiors and so dark, even shadows are few.

A Date With The Falcon - 1942 - 5/10

Second outing for George Sanders’ suave thrill seeker and police meddler.
Early on, he is supposed to be flying off with his not-yet-wed bride on their honeymoon.
When a pair of dark eyes and thick eyelashes beckon, his fiancé is forgotten.
The plot - if you tend to be charitable - is of a kidnapped synthetic diamond inventor.
Misunderstandings with police, banter with lovelies, and glowering heavies cannot disguise a fluff story.
Film relies on Sanders’ charm, but is beneath his talents.

A Town Called Panic - 2009 - 7/10
AKA - Panique au Village

I rolled my eyes when one of the girls chose this kiddie film.
Wrong assumption, this was entertaining fun.
Monty Python-esque animations, subtitled Belgium cursing, adventures ranging from under the sea, to the center of the earth, and romance in the music class.
Story races merrily along, with effortless, and endless, charm.
How Horse puts up with Indian and Cowboy, however, is way beyond me.
Then again, I had friends like those. More like, I was (am) one of those insane friends.

Who Killed Nancy? - 2009 - 7/10

Nancy Spungen was killed Oct 1978. Six months later, boyfriend-suspect Sid Vicious died of an overdose.
Case closed, everyone decided “Sid did it.”
Police records reveal there were actually six suspects.
This documentary picks up the threads with mixed results.
Lots of interviews with friends, drug buddies, roadies, etc … As well as a solid soundtrack.
Narrative meanders and never quite targets the prime alternative.
One has the impression Sid didn’t kill Nancy (witnesses confirm he was passed out) … but who did? And why?
This should have been better.
Essential, nevertheless, for fans of The Great Rock-N-Roll Swindle or readers of Jon Savage’s “England’s Dreaming,” or anyone who moshed in punk shows.

Circus Of Books - 2019 - 6/10

Outsider look at gay culture, in this case the humble bookshop.
Including the sequestered side room that houses the porn.
Late 70’s, Barry and Karen Mason were rackjobbing Hustler magazine when they realized one of their largest clients was mismanaged.
Book Circus.
The couple bought it, modified the name, and voilà!
Sandwiched between family moments and employee comments is the march of time.
The AIDS pandemic, Moral Majority repercussions, the advent of the online experience.
Tone ranges from regret to wistful nostalgia for younger, more thrilling times.
A few dates seem fudged, although only those who strolled through the era will notice.
Memorable clips of Stryker Force (1987) help make Circus Of Books an enjoyable documentary.

The Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Pie Society - 2018 - 6/10

A search for identity, an unspoken mystery, and three romances, set in post World War II London and the Channel Island of Guernsey.
Successful author Elizabeth receives a chance book request from an island inhabitant.
Brief correspondence sparks curiosity, leading to a visit.
Slowly she discovers the back story of the literary society and the potato peel pie.
And the rarely discussed German occupation of Guernsey and Jersey.
The search for identity is her own, the mystery is of one of the society’s founders.
Of the romances: one is barely sketched, the second seems forced infatuation, the third completely implausible.
German activities? Mmm, possibly given 5-10 minutes.
Dewy eyed romantics, breathing a heart tugging fragrance, may enjoy more.

Candy - 2006 - 6/10

A hero, a heroine, and a heroin problem.
Typically sad story of a young couple’s slide into addiction.
Predictable narrative, but reminder how powerful Heath Ledger could be.
And what a loss.
Co-starring Geoffrey Rush and Abbie Cornish.

Horror Europa With Mark Gatiss - 2012 - 6/10

Decent introduction / overview of Euro-Horror for newcomers.
The aficionado will see little new.
Begins with Expressionistic films from Weimar Germany.
After World War II, focus swings from France to Italy to Spain.
Talking heads include Mario Bava’s son, Kümel, Argento, Toro.
Sequences from Daughters Of Darkness, Diabolique, numerous Giallo, Devil’s Backbone.
Jess Franco mentioned once, Jean Rollin one of the larger omissions…
Not a bad documentary, but at 90“ this barely skims the waters.

A History Of Horror - 2010 - 6/10

Three part documentary on cinematic Horror.
1930’s Universal, Hammer in the ‘60’s, knives in the 80’s.
Mark Gatiss chats with historians, surviving relics, and filmmakers.
There are detours throughout, such as the Val Lewton films of the 40’s, Euro Horror that paralleled the blood drenched Hammer productions, and major studio releases of the 70’s.
I knew every single one of the films referenced, as will most readers of this forum.
A nice introduction, but no undiscovered ground.

Cinema Europe: The Other Hollywood - 1995 - 8/10

Essential companion to Hollywood: A Celebration Of American Silent Film, the definitive, 13 part documentary of early Hollywood.
An excellent introduction and a good checklist for hunting down movies to view.
The English version is narrated by Kenneth Branagh, there is footage from vintage interviews as well as survivors.
At only 6 episodes, this is less detailed, but highly recommended, nonetheless.
This probably ought to have been 10 episodes, at least, but there may have been budget limitations.

Five episodes were on post WWI productions and studios.
Silent footage used was of excellent quality throughout.
Series book-ended with an introductory episode (up to the end of WWI) and the usual “end of an era” chapter.
One chapter follows Scandinavian films, another French, another German, another Britain.
Especially poignant listening to Joan Morgan, English child actress, who received the “big offer” from Hollywood. Her father turned it down without consulting her. Fifty years later, one could tell the lost opportunity still hurt.
Little on Italian films, brief mention of Soviet Union, nothing on Austria.

Hollywood: A Celebration Of American Silent Film - 1980 - 9/10

One of the greatest documentaries about filmmaking, and the greatest documentary on the Silent Era.
Definitive, 13 part series about the rise, flowering, and overnight shattering of silent films.
Narrated by James Mason. Dozens of stars, directors, screenwriters, stunt men, etc … were interviewed.
Film clips, stills, music. Historian or fan, this is a must!
Kenneth Brownlow interviewed surviving participants in the nick of time. Now they are all gone.
Hollywood: A Celebration Of The American Silent Film aired in 1980. It was scheduled for DVD release in 2004, then was withdrawn over legal wrangling over money by various estates. On IMDB one can see the DVD box, which never came out.

All episodes available from time to time. YouTube and other routes.
Copies from Laserdisc offer best quality.
Interviews with Brownlow indicate official DVD release highly unlikely.

Rosemary’s Baby: Hell A Cometh Swift - MusicEd921

Black and white fanedit of classic Polanski film.
Aside from the decoloring, 16 minutes were trimmed to tighten the pace.
Many of the cuts were references from the Levin book. This novel was wildly popular in its day, in a time when more people read. Older viewers may miss the cuts - younger viewers might have been puzzled by the material.
The film, by the way, works well in black and white.

Young couple move into old building they can barely afford.
The wife does not work, but hopes to get pregnant soon. Luckily the husband is a struggling actor.
They are befriended by elderly neighbors. The man, 79, is a pleasant raconteur. His wife, played by an on-fire Ruth Gordon, is a pushy, gregarious, nosy, busybody.
The narrative unfolds slowly. A sinister brownstone, smiling neighbors with dark agendas, betrayals and pacts.
Mia Farrow terrific as young wife who instinctively knows something is desperately wrong.
Classic Horror, though the pace will madden impatient souls.
Those unfamiliar with Levin’s novel might prefer the quicker tempo from faneditor MusicEd921, though they might not appreciate black and white. The original remains a must-see.

Kong: God Of Skull Island (Kong 2005) - Maniac

Empty headed blockbuster features performances by sponge brains or chunks of wood, and has a plot that might-could been penned by your grumpy cat. Not to fear, hard working Maniac trims half the movie, resulting in pedal to the metal mayhem and a fair dose of nonsense.

Video - 1280 X 720p AVC. Almost every boring bit has been pitched into Kong’s latrine, yet the jump shifts, dissolves, whatnot are all smooth and professional. As with most of Mr Maniac’s work, the filesize is large and the video rendering excellent.

Audio - 160 kbps AC-3. 2 Channel stereo. No subs, ha ha. Dialogue mostly clear, and if you missed some line here of there, I can assure you, you ain’t missed nothing. Explosions, screaming, howling, oh and Black Sabbath, too.

Narrative - Buckle up and hang tight! As far as being a coherent yarn, this is its own beast. Backstores are left out, the reasons for Goodman & Co presence is omitted, so the result is Kong, full throttle. What remains is an old B-film with no A-budget aspirations and pretensions. Loopholes, yeah, live with them.

Enjoyment - Wait, I’m still trying to catch my breath. This edit rockets, pounds, gallops with barely a lull. You want personal relationship drama, this ain’t it. Some lost kid who needs rescuing? No way. Instead, this is Action Junction! Don’t think about characters because they can’t think. EVERYONE is either cardboard or caricature with an IQ lower than Alien 3 jailer, 85. The original is an ugly, stupid mess but Maniac makes it a wild guilty pleasure. If you can relate with your fellow primates (aside from in-laws), you will appreciate this.

La Main Passe - 2014 - 6/10
AKA - The Table Turns // The Main Pass

Offbeat French femme fatale revenge film.
Wife confronts husband’s mistress, telling her to back off.
In the next beat, the women realize he has a new bang bunny and is cheating on both of them.
A low level attorney gets entwined with Mistress #1, who starts to exhibit psychological neuroses.
Oh, yeah, said attorney also happens to be a kleptomaniac!
Not that I’m giving much away, this occurs in the first ten minutes of this trashy thriller.
Clever females, men with the IQ of head cheese.
Good enough, I suppose, if you’re in the mood.

Gold - 1934 - 6/10

The brilliant professor and his assistant attempt to transform iron into gold.
Word has leaked, however, to the press, and to a rival laboratory.
Fatal disaster strikes, yet the assistant survives. The other group makes an offer.
Early Reichsfilme of treachery, sabotage, revenge.
Brigitte Helm plays the unscrupulous tycoon’s daughter; the chief draw here is Hans Albers who enjoyed a solid career before, during and after the Reich.

Although the scheming industrialist is English, so too are the dependable workcrew.
As far as propaganda goes, this is balanced.
The laboratory effects are a highlight, equaling classic Universal stagings.

One Chance - 2013 - 6/10

Based on one Paul Potts who won the “Talent” contest in Britain.
Devotees of that competition know his story, as will the 2 million who subsequently bought his album.
Opera aficionado and wannabe studies abroad and sings in local productions.
Fate and limited self esteem are monumental hurdles, however.
Will he persevere? Will he prevail? Will he ever get his chance to wow the judges?
Irresistible as souvenir or if you like this sort of thing. I don’t.

Brief Interviews With Hideous Men - 2009 - 5/10

“Meaningful” indie film about men’s observations, expectations, and misconceptions of the opposite sex.
Front loaded. Meaning the funniest and weirdest characters were in the first hour.
Then the parade of mopers, losers, downers, feeble.
Suggestion: Watch the first 40 minutes.
Then watch an episode of a terrible sitcom, which will be better than the last half of this sludge.

The Blood Spattered Bride - 1972 - 6/10
AKA - La Novia Ensangrentada

The bliss and laughter of newlywed joy.
While the husband moves the car, gets luggage, the bride has an odd moment and decides they must leave the hotel.
Change of scene, the remote country manor, where the husband is known to all.
Early on, the wife glimpses the shadowy female, and begins to be troubled by dreams and visions.
Loosely based on Le Fanu‘s Carmilla, this is frequently compared with Daughters Of Darkness.
Outstanding photography throughout. Interiors, exteriors, crypts and costumes.
The disc features an informative commentary by Samm Deighan and Kat Ellinger.
Discussion includes the Franco regime and legacy, Giallo in Spain, directors, actors.
Almost an hour elapses, however, before they weigh in on this particular film.

Show People - 1928 - 7/10

Perhaps Marion Davies best, if not funniest, silent vehicle.
Georgia peach, Peggy, and her Pa, the Colonel, arrive in Hollywood to make her a star.
Since this is movie land, she becomes one in less than 30 minutes, vaulting from Mack Sennett escapades to high brow costumers. Losing her spark along the way.
The face she makes during this section is a satire of Gloria Swanson.
A boatload of cameos from bygone stars. Chaplin, Davies herself, King Vidor. The cafeteria sequence pans past Polly Moran, Louella Parsons, Estelle Taylor, Leatrice Joy, Mae Murray, John Gilbert, Norma Talmadge, Douglas Fairbanks, William S Hart, and a few others.
Openly gay William Haines played the love interest, much to the approval of Davies’ insanely jealous boyfriend, publisher William Hearst.

Dogtooth - 2010 - 4/10
AKA - Kynodontas

Pretentious Greek film wearing arthouse garb.
Three late teen children have been raised in complete isolation by overprotective parents.
The parents misinform and deliberately under-educate them. The children’s social skills are non existent.
Is this a cautionary tale about home schooling? Does that even exist in Greece?
My take is the theme about cultural alienation, and/or government obfuscation.
But if so, this is terribly ham fisted.
To my eye, the directing was sloppy, the acting was poor.
This director also made The Lobster, which I hated, as well as The Killing Of A Sacred Deer, which I hated, and the recent The Favourite. Good first half, second half snooze-a-rama.
SPOILER – Feline lovers beware - when the cat appears in Dogtooth, you better leave the room.

Conflict - 1945 - 6/10

Dressing for their fifth wedding anniversary party, Kathryn and Richard realize their marriage is stale.
The spark ain’t there no more.
Besides, Richard is … ahem … in love with Kathryn’s younger sister. Of which Kathy is aware.
What to do? Carry on? Divorce? Murder?

Overbaked Warners film boasts fine cast and superb photography.
The storyline is clunky and has been done countless times before and after.
Audiences of that era would have heard variations yearly on radio shows such as “Suspense,” “The Whistler,” and many others.
Loads of atmosphere, insufficient oomph.

Egan, Beresford - Pollen

The progress of the cultivated decadent.
Cynicism takes effort. When it is unfashionable, the cynic is despised, or worse, pitied. When it becomes fashionable, the cynic becomes “mainstream” and, chances are, despises himself.
Rebellion, in the long game, is highly overrated.
Lancelot Daurimer, idler, stunted painter, casual spendthrift, finds himself low on resources, ambition, any sort of possibilities, actually.
He “rents” rooms from Anna Beryl (Cleontine) who is older, more experienced, to be blunt, out of his league.
Lance, though a reprobate, possesses the grace of the predator which, from the time of Caesar, is beguiling to women.
While drawn to Cleontine, he targets Lady Marylyn, young, innocent, shielded by middle class conventionality. Targets her and decides to ruin her, to rot her from within.
Pollen is a delicious, dissolute pleasure. Manners and situations feel like a cross between the fin de siècle of the 1890’s and the bankrupt carcass of the Jazz Age just before the Great Depression.
Egan comes across as the bastard nephew of Oscar Wilde, and I mean that as a compliment.
His wordplay is impeccable and engaging. The book is an extremely fast read, propelling the reader in a galloping rush.
Additional pleasure comes from several illustrations by Mr. Egan.
The most discouraging aspect of Pollen was that It was written in all of three months, which leaves me dumbfounded.