Vultural

Al Murray: The Only Way Is Epic - 2012 - 5/10

Al Murray as pub landlord, live in Brighton.
Bit over an hour of hit n miss standup.
There simply were not enough good jokes.
The funny ones, he pounded like a dead horse.
Many times he seemed to be grinding gears.
Opening schtick of querying/baiting front row grew tedious.
Better if you are British, possibly.
I’ll never understand the English weakness for sing-alongs.

La Lectrice - 1988 - 6/10
AKA - The Reader

After Constance reads aloud to her husband, she realizes she has a talent and advertises.
Soon, she has regular customers, wanting her to read aloud to them.
The injured, the blind, others with mental or emotional peculiarities.
As she reads from Maupassant, de Sade, Baudelaire, her imagination begins to mix worlds.
Characters in the book blend with her listeners, and with herself.
One can get quickly lost, unless you simply “go with it.”
Some nudity, sex-lite, but not much. Not soft-core (nowadays) as others have said.
Book readers, especially French Lit, seek this out.

His House - 2020 - 7/10

The Mediterranean crossing was perilous, and their daughter did not survive it.
Nor did other passengers.
Nonetheless, Bol and Rial apply for refugee asylum in England and are assigned a council flat while they wait.
Only then, do they realize something has followed them.
Slow burn horror, as the couple try to adjust, realizing the house hides malevolence.
Terrific characters, adult plotting and themes, though will not provide the gore some fans insist on.

Haunts - 1976 - 4/10

Frisky goings on at California farm / ranch community.
As at many small towns, chief recreations involve drinking and screwing around.
The local bar (Dew Drop In?) is a nexus of flirting, assignations and confrontations.
Business as usual - until - the masked stranger begins raping and killing.
Slow going, poorly shot, downright boring crapola that, despite being in my El Cheapo Box Of Horrors doesn’t remotely qualify as horror. Nor a thriller. This is bull.
And the “young innocent" who keeps getting targeted looks like she hit forty awhile back.

Web Of The Spider - 1971 - 5/10
AKA - Nella Stretta Morsa Del Ragno

Another reworking of “I bet you can’t spend a night in that haunted house.”
Moreover, this is a remake of the director’s own Castle Of Blood (1964).
Anyway, Klaus Kinski (as Edgar Allan Poe!) tells a reporter about the cursed manor.
Without even packing bags, the reporter climbs the next carriage to the dwelling and enters.
Curvacious females nestle in the cobwebs, there are bygone murders, and restless spirits.
Photography is excellent, acting is OK (though Kinski is barely on). This ought to be better.
The narrative is a sluggish stream, however, and the film is an unfortunate yawn.
Two commentaries: The one with George Reis and Keith Crocker is fun.
Stephen Romano, less informed, seems to mock the film and I quit listening.

Riddell, Mrs. J.H. - The Uninhabited House

Classic short Victorian novel is an entertaining, cozy horror.
The law firm of Craven and Son endures an insufferable client, with an especially thorny dwelling.
Tenants of said property routinely break lease agreements and flee, declaring, once they catch their trembling breath, the house is haunted.
The story is narrated by a young clerk, impoverished (aren’t they all).
Nevertheless, the true heart of the tale is the elderly Miss Blake, a spinster of strident opinions and a most empty purse.
As irritating as she is, Miss Blake is unforgettable.

Rabid - 2019 - 6/10

Rose, nicknamed Scarface after a childhood accident, toils in the fashion world.
Head designer Gunter belittles her, treats her as a go-fer, yet you sense he is trying to mold her.
Hers is a life stuck in a rut, not getting better, not getting worse.
Until she suffers a horrific traffic accident.

Fortunately, there is an institute specializing in experimental reconstructive surgery.
Transhumanism.
Side effects, as always are pooh-poohed, though observant viewers will note the film title.
Outrageous, over the top horror by the Soska Sisters ranks with American Mary for me.
Fashion horror, better than Neon Demon, not as fine as In Fabric.

Puzzle: Murder In Saint Omer - 2019 - 6/10

A mass emailing warns of buried criminality and future reprisals.
Followed by disappearances … then corpses.
One of the recipients is a magistrate whose fashion consultant seems to be Wick & Neo.
Anyway, police and judge soon do typical investigation stuff.
Acceptable pot boiler, with enough pacing to distract from plot holes.
Still baffled by parts of this, but I won’t dwell on this film much longer.

Four Adventures Of Reinette And Mirabelle - 1987 - 7/10

Parisian Mirabelle, vacationing in the countryside, meets the more rural Reinette.
They strike a friendship, discuss their different lifestyles, make plans.
Despite the title, the story is more Reinette’s, especially after she moves to Paris.
Character study, watching Reinette learning to navigate urban indifference.

Jane Austen: Behind Closed Doors - 2017 - 6/10

Historian Lucy Worsley guides viewers on a tour of Miss Austen’s many homes.
Along the way, she shares influences and incidents at each.
Reenactment is minimal, an actress reading Jane’s letters, from time to time, in different settings.

This is one of the better docs by Worsley. No blaring pop tunes in this, for instance.
Essential for Janeites.

London To Brighton - 2006 - 6/10

British nasty about prostitution.
Aging crime lord calls bottom rung pimp and orders a girl for the night.
Young - 12 years old.
The pimp’s jill finds a runaway and they coerce her into the lair.
Next minute, the females are fleeing for their bloody lives, pimp and gangsters in furious pursuit.
Unpleasant film, nicely done. Dirty alleys, dark woods, cramped flats, ain’t no sunshine in this one.

Winchester - 2018 - 6/10

Not bad, not great either, interpretation of the haunted Winchester House.
Corporate honchos send psychiatrist out to evaluate the 51% stock-holding heiress.
They want a non compos mentis judgment so they can rein in spending.
Film makes an interesting case for “why” she built and built and built.
Not necessarily accurate -no one actually knows!
Acting is fine, set design is outstanding, and producers resisted going over the top with interiors.

Come And See - 1985 - 8/10
AKA - Idi i Smotri // Иди и Cмотри

“ … Adventures are not all pony rides in May sunshine.” Tolkien
Harrowing film of the Nazi invasion of Belorussia in 1943.
A young village boy joins partisan fighters and journeys from wide-eyed idealism to experience.
Opening chapters register uncertainty and anxiety, fears about what German invaders want.
Film proceeds to display, with brutal detail, the Master Race dealing with lower orders.
The audio mix on this is noteworthy, music and sound editing.
After a shelling, the boy suffers hearing loss and viewers share his disability.
Tone shifts from confusion, indifference, barbarity, and rare beauty.

Intouchables - 2011 - 6/10

French quadriplegic hires unknown streetwise tough as caregiver.
Many have raved about this one, because it is a feel good story.
Not as saccharine or cloying as most of these films are. Also, no big angst ridden drama moment.
Disparate personalities meeting, sharing perspectives.
Your hunch about what this film is, is likely correct.
I enjoyed this, but even though it was based on a true story, there was nothing fresh.

Deadly Circuit - 1983 - 6/10
AKA - Mortelle Randonnée / Deadly Run

Lonely, aging private detective tracks femme fatale, “Marie.”
One of her many, many aliases.
She has a taste for affluent, single males, who give her expensive gifts before perishing.
While the narrative is compelling, the logic often defies belief.
The detective acts on choices that border on incredulity.
Early on, he realizes she is a serial killer, and an extremely bloody one at that.
Does he notify police? Well, there would go the whole movie.
The narrative takes several unexpected turns, which kept me engrossed, though I never accepted the detective.
Isabelle Adjani must have had a ball with this role, with the ever shifting disguises and wardrobes.

Giroux, Robert - A Deed Of Death

Detailed overview, reconstruction, and thoughtful conclusion regarding events leading up to, and death of, William Desmond Taylor.
Unsolved murders - from Jack the Ripper to JFK - play host to numerous writers, each with theories. Taylor’s was notorious for the obvious cover up, and subsequent tainting of the Hollywood director.
Fortunately, Giroux is not a scandal scribe, bent on casually defecating on his subject. No, this is a thumping read and a brisk page turner.
The book is packed with photos, to boot.
Fans of the Silent era, this is a must-read, if not a must-add to your shelves.

Bitter Feast - 2010 - 6/10

After a harsh review from, get this, a blog, chef Peter Grey loses his own restaurant, and gets canned from his own TV show.
Does he dust himself off, start anew? Nooo! He kidnaps that nasty blogger critic and exacts vengeance.
If you’re so good at criticizing, let’s see if your own efforts match your standards.
Wicked horror tale of retribution against souls who cannot create, who eek a living as professional complainers.
Dark film that grows progressively darker. Early sequence of adolescent violence might upset the squeamish.
Bon appétit.

Puss In Books: Adventures Of The Library Cat - 1997 - 6/10

Cat haters, keep away. Book haters, avoid.
Brief documentary of feline denizens working local libraries.
Rodent control, security patrol, good will ambassador, snoozer.
Twenty or so layabouts are discussed and profiled.
There are also stray human Cassandras who wail about dander and ailurophobia. *
Breezy fun for feline fans and library habitués.

• Years ago, in my village, Dewey and Deci were given the ole heave ho.
  One infrequent patron hollered, and the board ignored over 2000 signatures on the petition defending the felines.

Cass - 2008 - 6/10

West Ham supporters, the Inter City Firm, led by boss Cass, strive to be #1 firm during the Thatcher years.
Violence, knifings, shootings, slashings, and the rumble of rival tribes.
Cass differs from other football/hooligan films in that the protagonist is a middle class black youth with a warm home background and loving parents.
Rude language throughout, yet little drug use and no nudity.
Based on Cass Pennant’s memoir, I wonder how much of those elements had been massaged out.

Mary Ryan, Detective - 1949 - 6/10

Quickie B-film of female cop who infiltrates gang of shoplifters and fences.
Curious to watch a woman handle what would normally be a “man’s” role.
How-to procedural. Mary is trained how to boost, lift, learn the jargon.
Then into prison and sidle up to gang members on ice.
A nice plot curve here and there, otherwise predictable.

Paula - 2016 - 6/10

Dramatization of German painter, Paula Modersohn-Becker, at the beginning of the 20th century.
Being female, barriers included sexism, mockery, hostility.
A costume drama, though not exceedingly so, the look is restrained, and Paris seems spacious.
The narrative does not quite match her history as listed in Wikipedia, though the essentials seems true.
Pacing can be sluggish, and the myriad characters confusing at times.
Viewers who enjoyed 1995‘s Carrington should feel at home.

I Am - 2010 - 5/10

Master director Tom Shadyac (Ace Ventura, Bruce Almighty, Patch Adams, Evan Almighty) has a bicycle accident, suffers chronic pain. As he heals, he starts thinking, wondering what is wrong with us - mankind - as a species.
I Am is his feel good, naval gazing documentary. A variety of modern philosophers and leaders contribute their thoughts.
The usual: Materialism leads nowhere. Cooperation is salvation, not competition. Love is all you need.
Bubble thinking.
All well and good when everyone shares limited hopes, utopian dreams.
Neither Shadyac nor his pundits address the millions of impoverished souls who might want a better home, more water, nutritious diet.
Not one mention spiraling population growth as a root factor, along with the degradation of resources.
Virtually everyone interviewed did so from a nicely air-conditioned or heated dwelling.
All are well fed, well dressed, well educated. Privileged.
I Am currently enjoys high marks on review sites. I suspect the dewy-eyed believe humanity is capable of greatness.

Zygote - 2017 - 6/10

Firebase - 2017 - 6/10

Regrettably, I have cooled on these “episodes” from Oats Studios.
In the first slice, an experiment has gone terribly wrong in a polar laboratory.
Two wounded survivors flee from the murderous mutation.
In the second slice, a grieving Vietnam war father unleashes the water god.
Carnage ensues.
Neither short, like the earlier Rakka, resolves, both trail off as cliffhangers.
While production values and casting are excellent, the lingering impression is of a glorified movie pitch.
I will watch further releases, although my expectations have dropped.

Mortal Engines - 2019 - 5/10

If I were younger, with less film baggage in my memory cells, I might enjoy more.
As it is, this YA dystopian actioner felt crammed, rushed and illogical,
In a post apocalyptic world, the London city sprawl rolls across Europe, devouring cities, towns, small industries.
(How come only London survived? Where do they get food? Water? Who knows!)
The dastardly mastermind (Hugo Weaving as baddie) toils secretly, though a trio of females resist him.
Key males are villains or helpless, while the West (London) is bad, and the East (China / India) is good.
Good CGI, though the plot is fast food. I disliked Snowpiercer, too.

The Trials Of Henry Kissinger - 2002 - 7/10

Documentary about the political insider / gunslinger / minister without portfolio.
Follows the popular book that argued that the great HK ought to have been tried for war crimes based on his activities (or lack of) and maneuverings during Vietnam negotiations.
Film outraged half the audience, others were more cynical, stating that shady deeds and brinkmanship have been hand in glove with leaders since before Caesar.
Caveat emptor.