Vultural

KEDi - 2017 - 6/10

Lightweight “documentary” for masochists. Oops, excuse me, cat lovers.
Everyone else, caveat emptor. γνῶθι σεαυτόν
Camera follows several cats living in Istanbul.
Humans care for them, declare how amazing they are.
Felines lead a merry life in an exotic locale.
Nothing negative whatsoever in this.

Cat people should purr happily watching this.
Captures feline personalities and activities.
I have been to Istanbul and can assure you there are many cats like these.
At an outdoor cafe, a big orange tom sat next to me and kept thumping my leg when he wanted more food.
In another bistro, a cat curled up beside Zelda and slept, happy sharing her warmth.

Black Coal, Thin Ice - 2014 - 7/10
AKA - Báirì Yànhuǒ // 白 日 焰 火

Two Chinese cops investigate severed body parts found on a coal conveyer belt.
They zero in on suspects then the entire case literally explodes in front of them.
Jump ahead five years. The detectives are apart, yet the old file has revived.
Challenging procedural, definitely not for ADD viewers.
Photography is flat, there are no flashy forensic solutions.
Just cops following thin leads and aberrant behavior.
Filmmaker assumes the audience has enough intelligence to follow a story, rather then being fed one.

Miracles For Sale - 1939 - 6/10

Retired magician, Morgan, designs and sells stunts to headliners.
And also exposes fraudulent mediums, clairvoyants, mystics.
The blonde arrives, and soon there is a locked room murder.
Fast paced mystery with murder and magic
Romance, supernatural, comic touches, and a strong supporting cast (great for old movie buffs).
Robert Young fine as lead. Truth to tell, I hunted this down because it was the final film by Tod Browning.

Hour Of The Pig - 1993 - 7/10
AKA - The Advocate

In medieval France, an attorney, weary of decadent Paris, relocates to rural simplicity.
He soon realizes the rustic life is laced with scheming, cynicism, and homicide.
Beckoning country lasses offer their own challenges.
A powerful lord offers his ripe yet dim daughter, the inn servant helps the cock crow, and a mysterious gypsy wants him to defend her pig from a charge of murder.
Oh, can’t forget the ongoing witch trial!
Funny, in a cruel way. Colin Firth as the innocent with his assumptions.

Millennium After The Millennium - 2019 - 7/10

Absorbing documentary and overview of the 90’s cult show, though probably for converts.
Most of the creative teams talk, as do most performers.
Key episodes discussed, as well as the highly different seasons.
Morgan & Wong are not here to discuss the controversial S02, nor is Kristen Cloke (Laura Means).
This will be must-see for fans of this extremely dark series, and a good introduction to the curious.
It always struck me as a minor miracle that this ran 3 seasons. The equally dark Profit was given the axe after only a handful of episodes aired.

The Night Has A Thousand Desires - 1984 - 6/10
AKA - Mil Sexos Tiene la Noche

Interesting Jess Franco film. Not necessarily good, but interesting to me.
Female medium works nightclub/carnie circuit doing mind-reading tricks.
A group of calculated parties start using her for foul deeds.

Unlike many of Franco’s works, the sets and compositions are imaginative and detailed.
The vibe reeks of a late 70’s drug orgy. As with most of Franco’s oeuvre, copious sex and nudity.
Pacing is siesta time, Lina Romay floats like a somnambulist, though she is in full form throughout.

Love Is Strange - 2014 - 6/10

After living together 30+ years, a male couple decide to tie the knot and get married.
Soon thereafter, the one who is employed is fired because of a “morals clause?” Is that even legal?
They cannot afford their New York rent, they have zilch in savings, so they split up.
One moves in with family, the other with friends.
Pleasant enough film that predominantly tracks the older partner’s path within his nephew’s home.
Film suffers a lot of major flaws - men in their 60’s with no savings - first solution is to split up?
Not to spoil anything, but the ending struck me as fake and an emotional cheat.

Angel Guts: Red Classroom - 1979 - 6/10
AKA - Tenshi No Harawata Akai Kyoshitsu // 天使のはらわた 赤い教室

Second, and arguably most acclaimed installment of this rather sordid series.
Editor of magazine runs across an old stag reel featuring an assault reenactment.
The acting was so realistic, especially from the victim, the editor decides to track her down.
Find her he does, working at a love hotel (hot sheets joint), and he offers to feature her in a quality photo shoot.
During discussion, he realizes the line between acting and acted upon had been crossed during that stag film.
Also, he realizes she has become one damaged, very broken soul.
Nikkatsu Roman Porno, so expect high percentage of nudity, fair amount of violence, and numerous joustings.
Also, because of tight Japanese censorship, expect the strategically placed flower vase, stick of furniture, casually tossed pillow. For all the excessive gropings and sobbings, you will have a perfect idea just what is going on – you just won’t get to see it.

Who Is The Black Dahlia? - 1975 - 6/10

To be truthful, she was Elizabeth Short, young Hollywood hopeful from Maine.
She moved to California when she was 18. Four years later, age 22, her body was found cut in half.
Noirish drama follows her from wide-eyed arrival to opportunistic chancer.
Good cast (TV stars and film character actors), with Lucie Arnaz effective as the elusive Dahlia.
Music is fine, camera work has too much sunny California to be full Noir.
Hollywoodized, sanitized, condensed retelling, this will be OK if you can tolerate unsolved mysteries.
(Annoyingly, the Hearst shenanigans are omitted.)
Terrible print. Not since I first watched this back in 1975 have I seen a decent copy.

Nightmare! The Birth Of Horror: Dracula - 1996 - 6/10

Good horror documentary about the genesis and development of Dracula.
Not the film, nor the Romanian prince, but the Bram Stoker creation.
Sorry folks, Bram never seemed to have journeyed to Bran Castle.
Stoker’s biography is sketched, but the focus is on how he fleshed out the story, where he kept coming up with fresh ideas and settings.
Films barely touched on, as cinema flowered after Stoker’s death.
Manuscripts - photographs - first printing books among highlights.

2001: Recut - Steven Soderbergh

I’ve watched Kubrick’s “2001” several times over the years. I’ve always found the director’s films chilly, with scant human warmth. As far as this particular editor goes, I’ve always felt the FE site gives him a free pass. Still, someone (Elbarto? Col Hutty? Ric Olie?) suggested I give this reedit a whirl.

Video = 1280 X 720p AVC. Audio = 160 kbps AAC. 2 Channel Stereo.

Hate saying this, but this looks better than my DVD. Most of the editing is fine. I have never had many issues with this editor’s visual work.
Soundwise, this opens with ambiant droning that Soderbergh is so fond of. I feared he had wiped the soundtrack as he had on Raiders. No. Audio returned to the original track. Dialogue clear.

The narrative has been altered. Updated, if you prefer. Much has been cut, some I noticed, some I did not. While streamlined, the pace still plods. Not necessarily in a bad way. This captures the ennui of lengthy isolation of deep space travel. HAL has a stronger role in this, and often seems a witness of pre-dawn man continuing to the star child. Is this edit better? I don’t know. It is over sooner, so that may be a plus for many.

As far as enjoyment, about as much as before. Whenever this airs at a local theater, I attend. I have a Wow reaction as often as I walk out annoyed. I applaud Soderbergh’s video restoration work on this, as well as ditching redundant or unnecessary sections. I enjoyed this more than most of his edits.

Plan 2001 (2001) - Adabisi

My initial notion of Plan 2001 was Dracula, face cloaked by cape, stalking the white concourse of Discovery. How is Adabisi going to carry this off? How will the Count elude HAL?

Instead, this edit pulls the pants down on Kubrick’s film, exposing pomposity and pretentiousness. No monkeys, scant elitist classical music, and no symbolism. Rather, vent after vent of flatulence. Any run down Wal-Mart location would be proud to stock this 2001.

Video = 704p, mp4. Audio = 2 Channel Stereo, 256 Kbps.

Video editing is crisp and hard, think hatchet. Highly effective with dramatic plot jumps that explode out of nowhere. The descent into Jupiter is trimmed (minimizing that star gate stuff), which heightens the lava lamp plumes. Good bender there.

The film opens with astronaut Frank Poole running and shadow boxing to “Eye Of The Tiger,” one of the cheesiest inspirational tunes ever, typical of the 80s. Songs range from imbecilic to infantile to predictably clichéd. When that ole Moon hopper starts jumping to “I Put A Spell On You" I knowed them folks on this Moon were a lot happier than on Stanley K’s Moon. Using Floyd‘s “Echoes” for the Jupiter sequences is genius! Screaming Jay Hawkins, couple of robot tunes, shoot, the only thing missing is Bill Shatner crooning.

The original narrative can be a glacially paced snoozer. Yawn – zzzzzzzzzz. Tightening was needed and Adabisi provided the chainsaw. Great example of this was when Dave is about to reenter Discovery and give crafty HAL a lobotomy, only ka-boom, they are entering Jupiter already. One second, Dave is helmetless, next second, it’s on. How? Magic.

As Adabisi noted in the forum thread, his intention was to take the piss out of the original. By adding his own piss instead, he created something akin to sour lemonade. Mind you, this ain’t gonna be the first choice for Movie Appreciation 101, but the way this world is going, I reckon it will be.

Caught On A Train - 1980 - 7/10

Publishing agent climbs the battered Orient Express, and finds misunderstandings and gamesmanship.
Initially, all is fine. Fellow passengers, even an attractive American girl he tries to impress.
Then the imperious, elderly woman storms into the cabin.
Superbly acted test of wills will thrill live theatre buffs.
People who have ridden some older trains will recognize the discomfiture and disorientation.
Especially European border crossing checks, which sadly, one only finds in Eastern Europe now.

Jezebel - 2021 - 4/10

If you are born with a flame shape birthmark …you just might be a witch.
Horror short sees a woken witch take revenge on those who grabbed her wrists.
Acting, direction, photography, all below high school level.
Yeah, you gotta start somewhere. This is bottom rung.
As a parody spoof though …

A Kiss, If You Please - 2007 - 7/10
AKA - Un Baiser s’il vous Plaît // Shall We Kiss?

Uneasy French comedy that straddles between awkwardness and guilt.
A couple meet one morning, make a connection, go on a perfect date - a long perfect date - and wind up in her hotel room.
Along the way, we realize both are in other relationships.
He requests a kiss - she declines. Instead, she offers a story of the consequences of the innocent kiss.

The couple are platonic best friends. She is married, he has affairs.
They always had chemistry, however. The flame never died.
Why did they never date? Marry? Unexplained.
Eventually they make tentative, fumbling moves in that direction yielding to an explosion of passion.
This half of the film innocent, goofy and funny. Before the guilt and fallout.
Most in the room enjoyed the first half of giggles and accelerating heartbeats. Second half, not so much.
Comedy with a bitter aftertaste.
Restrained, almost symbolic set design if you notice those things.

Grapes Of Death - 1978 - 6/10
AKA - Les Raisins de la Mort

Sour grapes, in this case, tainted by pesticides, turn a village into murderous fiends.
Not zombies, as often referenced.
Being a Jean Rollin film, there are beautiful and imaginative visuals, and a sleepy tempo.
One female, trying to make her way to her boyfriend’s vineyard runs the obstacle course.
Rural wastelands and a small village are the main settings after she flees a train.
The afflicted stagger at times, only to bolt into action.
Gore is minimal.
Rollin’s films are often suffused with a dreamlike atmosphere and this is no exception.
The girl is so preoccupied with running, bouncing from one trap into another, she has no time to reflect or analyze the situation.
Good late night film when you may not want explosions, gunfire, nonstop shouting.

Dark Hole - 2021 - 6/10
AKA - 다크홀

First episode, deadly tentacles hunt amidst the ruins. Outside, hordes of zombies.
There is swirling black powder that must be avoided at all costs.
Oh, and a serial killer is loose!
Apocalyptic series mirrors the ongoing global pandemic.
There are numerous characters, and I figure most are going to die.
I predict those I think might go the distance.
The female detective, with a gun, a grudge and a mission to apprehend a killer.
Tow-truck driver, only because I have seen in other K-dramas and he looks like a lead.
Female shaman, of erratic ability, but magic is magic!
And the serial killer. Villains always make it to the final reel.
Two episodes down, I will return to this when I finish the series.
v
v
OK, countless extras equate to hundreds of unhappy meals.
Villains are plentiful and are cockroach villains. Meaning, hard to kill.
Two-faced types, cowardly appeasers, bullies, power grabbers.
Padded series is glorified zombie fest and will satiate bloodlust cravings.

Agatha Raisin: The Quiche Of Death - 2014 - 6/10

Pilot that aired during the holidays, eventually spawned a middling series.
Mystery, murder and comedy in the Cotswolds, with London press agent moving to the sticks.
The village seems 95% Caucasian, 100% rich (who else can afford those homes?).
An annual cooking competition is underway. In order to fit in, our newcomer decides to enter and win … by any means.
Yes, good way to score points, cheat for the trophy.
Only murder surfaces, as do suspects, countless bang the weasel infidelities, backstabbing tongues, you name it.
Of course, being a city gal, and a know-it-all, Miss Raisin starts sleuthing.
Easy, predictable … like watching “Midsomer Murders” for poodles.

Afterword.
S01 followed, predictable stories, yet scores on likeability and some amusingly clever plot turns
By S02 (a truncated three episodes), the formula has gone stale, the actors are bored, writing and directing lack energy.
S03 is worse, entering farce. Avoid.

Beasts Of No Nation - 2015 - 8/10

Tour de force tale of boy indoctrinated into wartime militia unit.
Though no country is specified, you could toss a dart at a global map and strike conflict.
The Commandant (Idris Elba) leads his charges, convincing them they are impervious.
Rivalries within the unit run undercurrent, as well as rebel politics undermining the Commandant.
I worried this would be a sad or depressing film, but did not find it so.
Provocative, yes. Disturbing, though I accept that humans relish killing each other.

Limbo - 2020 - 7/10

A quartet of asylum seekers in Britain are parked in the Outer Hebrides.
Focus is on Oman, whose parents are in Istanbul, while his brother fights the Syrian regime.
Oman’s arm is injured, which is important, as he is / was a talented musician.
Most of the film is waiting. Will their asylum claims be approved or denied?
Some of Oman’s companions have been waiting years.
The remote landscape is harsh and empty. Wind blows incessantly.
It might be easy to despair, or give up. Quirky humor offsets this tone.
Quiet character study, leaving viewers to fill in blanks.

Serial (Bad) Weddings - 2014 - 6/10
AKA - Qu’est-ce Qu’on A Fait au Bon Dieu

Forced French comedy of traditional Gaullist, Catholic family marrying off three daughters.
To a Muslim, to a Jew, to a Chinese. Brace yourself for tasteless jokes.
Daughter number four, the parents pray and pray and pray, will marry a nice Catholic man.
Lo and behold, she gets engaged to a nice Catholic man, only she neglects to tell parents he is black.
Lot of stereotyping in this movie, politically incorrect humor, silly misunderstandings. Very dated.
Focus is on diverse males and pissing contest behavior, females little more than afterthoughts.
While I didn’t care for this, others around the Net rated this major laughs.

88 - 2014 - 5/10

Bullet fest mystery / thriller set in the land of violence, the Canadian backwoods.
Katharine Isabelle stars as female companion / waitress / hooker to roadhouse owner and local crime boss.
For withheld reasons, she ghosts in and out of fugue state, caused by emotional trauma.
Her alter-ego, Flamingo, is one no-nonsense, milk swigging broad.
Steals cars, shoots up the bowling alley, goes into full bore revenge against crime lord, Christopher Lloyd.

Isabelle terrific once again, truly commits to a difficult role and nails it. If anything, there was another outrageous whacked out guns and revenge comedy buried in the script had the writers chosen to focus on Ty and Lemmy.
Michael Ironside is the sheriff. Fine cast in a half-assed script, narrative slice n diced in jumbled chronology.
There’s the flaw. Because of all the jumps in the story, you really must pay attention and even then you might get confused. All well and good if the payoff delivers. Hate to spoiler this, so I won’t divulge. Note 5/10, though. And my rating is a wee bit high.
There’s a lot of unexpected, and really funny black humor.
Will I rewatch 88? Probably (loser). Do I recommend? Yes, but primarily to fellow losers.

Paris 1900: The City Of Lights - 2018 - 6/10
AKA - Une si Belle Époque! La France d’avant 1914

Eye catching throughout, this doc spans 1900-1914.
The heyday of the Belle Époque to the onset of the Great War.
From streets filled with horses, omnibuses, hansom cabs, to mechanized slaughter.
A monotone voice checklists significant events and problems of class.
Then as now, an idle, avaricious upper class oppressing the lower orders who enjoy a 12 hour work day, 7 days a week.
A wealth of historic newsreels, expertly restored, is the draw here.

Everyday street scenes, beach outings, parades, entertainment revues.
Hardships along with bread and circuses.

Of course, this period comes to a staggering, appallingly horrific halt in 1914.
Then again, as with any end of a cycle, nobody knew it at the time.

The Girl From Rio - 1969 - 5/10
AKA - Rio 70 // The Seven Secrets of Sumuru

Yeah, I knew this was going to be bad. Still …
This was based on Sax Rohmer’s Sumuru character and I have read those books.
Plus, ole Jess Franco directs with probably the biggest budget he ever had.
Thief escapes to Rio de Janeiro with $10M in a briefcase.
A crime syndicate headed by George Sanders ties to forcibly seize it.
Sumuru, here called Sumitra, also covets the loot to fund her female army and rule the world!
Chases, fisticuffs, nudity, a phone that still works after being underwater, outstanding location filming during Carnival.
Finally, memorable Goldfinger girl Shirley Eaton (in her final film) as blonde and brunette Sumuru.
Sadly, there is no plot, no sense of style, not even a genre to hang onto.
Fumbled cast and resources.

I post a tremendous amount of images.
I upload images to some of the popular “free” hosting sites.
imgur - postimage - imgbb
Markdown code = 

I doubt OT will let you upload to the board itself.
That implies the board will hosting the images which would only tax resources even more.