Vultural

Crypt Of The Living Dead - 1974 - 3/10
AKA - La Tumba de la Isla Maldita

Spanish production with American leads filmed in Turkey.
Young archaeologist tracks down 700 year old crypt of Hannah, vampire queen.
Betcha didn’t know Hannah was a popular name in 1200.
My box said color film, credits said Metrocolour, it was still black and white.
Rather good looking Gothic set design and excellent shadows. OK effect of Hannah swirling into mist when she transforms into a wolf (who moves a helluva lot quicker than she does).
Predictable territory, characters were dreadful bores, pace was glacial.
Could have used more violence and sex. Vampyres, from the UK, came out around this time oozing plenty of bodily fluids.

Don’t Deliver Us From Evil - 1971 - 7/10
AKA - Mais ne Nous Délivrez Pas du Mal

Vicious, moody, conte cruel drama will certainly offend many.
Two bored schoolgirls embark on escalating games and torments.
Victims include their perceived inferiors (ie: working class and peasants) and small animals.
A word to the uneasy. Pets are mistreated in this, perhaps even killed.
Animal rights’ rules were different when this originally lensed.
Although the girls share an unhealthy obsession with each other, this is not a precursor to Heavenly Creatures, as these are a malevolent pair.
As they gain experience, they target larger quarry.

White Wall - 2020 - 5/10

The abandoned mining facility seems a perfect site for long term nuclear waste storage.
Deep underground, the waste should stay safe for 100,000 years.
Of course there are protestors and eco-terrorists, but Security is robust.
As the grand opening nears, workers strike a towering white wall.
Impenetrable, composition unknown. Archeologists date it over a billion years old.
While this series is classified as SciFi, this is what Harlan Ellison termed Speculative Fiction.
It is also slow and padded with purposeless characters and empty sideplots.
This ought to have been a two hour movie, period.
You could probably skip half the episodes and miss little.

Side Effects - 2013 - 7/10

Effective thriller about “happy pills” and unhappy side effects.
Plays into modern dependency on big pharma and safety concerns.
Must admit I had not read a single review on this one, so the narrative and twists were fresh.
Good suspenser with some sleight of hand turns.

Sound Of Metal - 2019 - 7/10

Drummer in cathartic, performance art duo loses 70% – 75% of his hearing.
He goes to a retreat for deaf, searching for a solution.
Well acted study of denial and rationalizing.
His reactions are understandable, relatable at times. Other times, his junkie roots dominate.
The hearing loss is sudden, which I had trouble with (no ear protection, especially at his age).
One of the “remedies” struck me as oversimplified.
Plot engaged me less as it progressed. Score for acting.

Giant Mechanical Man - 2012 - 6/10

Low key date flick, though some suspension of disbelief required for this indie film.
Two 30 something career failures meet and begin the like-to-get-to-know-you refrain.
She’s a temp, he’s a street performer. The city looked empty and lifeless. Turned out to be Detroit.
As with any romantic comedy (very light on the comedy), enjoyment might pivot on the viewer’s relationship situation. Lonely souls or those suffering fresh collapses might want to shun.
Cast of mostly unknowns, pushed by appealing leads.

Fanged Up - 2017 - 4/10

Hitting on club girls and accidentally provoking a bar fight lands Jimmy a weekend pass in prison.
Horrors below, he is shipped to dreaded Stokesville, from whence few return!
The evil governor, sadistic female warden, even the menacing guards, are on a blood diet!
Alright premise, mostly fine casting, but the comic bits are few and far between.
This film dragggggggggs, even on fast forward.
Fifteen minutes (at most) of funny, the remainder is padded, bloated garbage.

Jenifer - 2005 - 4/10

Erotic horror mishmash from Dario Argento.
Argento’s prime years were decades earlier, so I kick myself for loading this gobbler.
Cop rescues a damsel about to be chopped with a meat cleaver.
She has a disfigured face, though her ripe body curves compensate.
Cop shelters her and discovers she has an appetite for slaughtering others and feasting on hot entrails.
Also that she likes cowgirl, riding him senseless till his love gun is empty. Then mounting for more.
Sensitive souls might be shocked by some of the killings. Seasoned types, this is a yawn.

One Sings, The Other Doesn’t - 1977 - 6/10
AKA - L’une Chante l’autre Pas

Story of friends Pauline (later Pomme) and Suzanne, growing up in 1970’s France.
Suzanne had her first child at 19, by 22, when Pauline reconnects with her, she seems haggard.
Pauline helps with money, but Suzanne, desperately poor, does not use the funds as promised.
Instead, well, the tale turns. Pauline becomes Pomme, a struggling singer, and the friends drift.
The keep in touch with postcards, letters, and occasional meetings.
Lovely arc of friendship and maturity, with a sisterhood vibe.

Wrongfully Accused - 1998 - 6/10

Premier violinist is accused of entrepreneur’s murder.
He flees, stays one step ahead of determined law enforcement, and searches for the real killer.
Rapid fire spoof of topical films is probably Leslie Nielsen’s last good vehicle.
It is dating, however. Puns and sight gags overflow. Little sarcasm or ridicule.
These jokes would be apparent to audiences twenty years ago.
“Lord Of The Dance,” The Fugitive, Mission Impossible, Baywatch, dozens more.
Silly, sometimes confusing, sometimes labored.
Audiences with a taste for slapstick will giggle, jaded palates may well jeer at grandpa.

Dumplings - 2004 - 6/10
AKA - Jiǎozi // 餃子

“What’s in this? It’s supposed to make me grow younger.
“The woman who makes these is a slippery sort. Very evasive.
“Still, my husband keeps cheating on me, always with slender 20 year olds with perfect skin.
“I wonder what she cooks these with. Her reputation is bad.
“I know she came to Hong Kong from the mainland, where she was an abortionist.
“Is it so much to want to be young again? Have nice skin, be desirable.”
One closes one’s eyes, suppresses qualms, justifies swallowing the taboo.

Thérèse Desqueyroux - 2012 - 6/10
AKA - Thérèse

Childhood confidants Thérèse and Anne grow up, grow apart in the 1920’s.
Thérèse marries Anne’s (much older?) brother to merge two landed estates.
No passion involved, a business arrangement.
Anne, meanwhile, spins into the dizzying affair of doomed ecstasy.
Story progresses slowly, sourly, in disconnected fashion.
Audrey Tautou and Anaïs Demoustier are miscast as childhood, now adult, friends.
Their eleven year age different is apparent and renders them implausible.
Downer, dull, listless, and increasingly unbelievable.

Faster Pussycat! Kill, Kill! - 1965 - 7/10

High octane cars n broads dominate a series of stunted or emasculated males.
See! three go-go dancers seize a teen girl for ransom!
Watch! the lecherous, wheelchair bound man and his hatred for the aroma of female!
What’s it gonna be, Billie? The stash of long green? Or that ripe hunk of musclebound beefcake?
Tura Satana unforgettable as Varla.
Russ Meyer’s most acclaimed film. Fantastic fun, and Meyer’s cutting was years ahead of its time.
Wail, baby, wail!!!

Monterey Pop: 40 Years Ago - 2007 - 6/10

Certainly not the best experience of this legendary festival.
For that, go to the concert doc by Pennebaker, especially the bonus material.
Historical background – “Berkeley In The Sixties” (1990).
The bloom, and demise, of the flower – “Summer Of Love” (2003).
Nonetheless, this is a good overview, with background, bits of performances, and the aftermath.
Some of the footage was new to me, meaning there is probably still “stuff” in the vaults.
Woodstock overshadowed this, but Monterey is a joy to watch and a capsule of a slice of time.

Populaire - 2012 - 6/10

Enjoyable French breeze of the annual speed typing contest.
Circa 1959 - since few own / use a typewriter any more.
Great costumes, terrific cars (where did they find so many for outdoor scenes), period music.
Not to mention the blatant, sexist attitudes.
Déborah François radiates innocence and trust, but is no pushover, either.

Mark Kermode’s Secrets Of Cinema - 2018 - 7/10

Five part documentary of the formulae used in select genres.
RomCom - Heist - Coming Of Age - SciFi - Horror
Kermode explores character types, plot crutches, mold breakers.
Aside from the “coming of age” section, I had viewed the vast majority of movies discussed.
Yes, that includes RomCom.
For SciFi and Horror there were a few that had gone under my radar that I may seek out.
Good introductory doc.

Rent-A-Pal - 2020 - 7/10

Neither horror, nor psychological horror, but a view of loneliness and deception.
Set in the 1990’s, David tries video dating. Meaning looking at VHS profiles.
Nothing works. He’s 40. He lives with his mother, who has dementia.
Potential doors have closed, and he feels life crushing him.
By chance, he picks a tape out of the impulse basket at the dating service.
The tape is interactive, host “Andy” talks, asks questions, pauses for responses.
Weird, thinks David, pathetic. Yet, for one lonely, depressed, a life empty, the imaginary friend can seem more.
Low budget film has engrossing performances, but this may upset those who feel forsaken.

Star Trek Next Gen fans, this should intrigue.

Starlet - 2012 - 6/10

Quirky indie film of young porno actress who buys a thermos at a yard sale from an elderly, forgetful widow.
Inside the thermos are rolls of hundred dollar bills.
After soul searching, the girl tries to return it only to catch a hateful, “No refunds! No refunds!”
Multiple storylines: direct-to-web porn shoots, the old woman’s backstory, the young girl trying to buy things and do things for the old broad, the old woman’s problems with insurance agents and zoning types.
Several character studies in relationship film.
Not a “chick flick” per se, though females in the room enjoyed this more than males.

The Wicked City - 1992 - 6/10
AKA - Yíu Sau Dōu Síh / 妖獸都市

Gent follows good time girl, Perrier, to her room for an intimate exchange of fluids.
As the docking sequence is about to commence, she transforms - oh no! - into a monster!!!

Too bad for her, he’s a special kinda cop, hunting the monsters than are on planet earth.
OK, I saw this when it came out and they are reptoids or raptors, not monsters.
They mate with humans, slaughter humans, suck up gobs of electricity, control mega corporations.
Based on manga or anime, I suspect it presupposes familiarity with the material.
I like this film, but the narrative and backstory have always confused me.
The film is packed with sfx, some odd, others inventive. Editing is brisk, the pace downright hectic.
I always felt much of the tone and comments were vague references to the coming takeover in 1997.
One of the funnier references is for the addictive drug, “Happiness,” which is slang for "I’m coming!”

Curran, Tim - Worm

The first few chapters, we are briefly introduced to the meals … oops … characters.
The small residential burg is shaken by quakes, the ground boils open, and slippery, rank black ooze spreads.
Worse, this occurs within homes, as sinks, drains and toilets belch forth the subterranean vomit.
Mr. Curran has tapped into a childhood fear. Going to the toilet in the middle of the night, when creatures, horrible creatures, wriggle in the shadowy bowl.

Somewhere, James Herbert is going, “Way to go, mate.”

– Removal Requested –
— Dupe Post —

Burning Paradise - 1994 - 7/10
AKA - Foh Siu Hung Lin Ji // 火燒紅蓮寺

Cracking Ringo Lam kung fu actioner, strong in political overtones.
After the Shaolin temple is crushed, priests and disciples are imprisoned underground in the Red Lotus Temple.
The prison is studded with traps, fire pits, torturers, and lording over all is an insane degenerate.
Nudity and graphic violence, particularly to animals. So beware.
This was one of the Lam’s finest, and one of the bleakest films from Hong Kong. The colony was to be returned to China in 1999, and there was growing concern their fate would mirror the Shaolin.

Twyla Moves - 2021 - 7/10

Documentary on choreographer Twyla Tharp.
One half chronicles her efforts to present a virtual dance (Covid) featuring 4-5 dancers in their separate homes.
We watch her work to synchronize the movements despite time lags.
This weaves back and forth with her career chronology.
Childhood – early training – troupes – major shows.
Personal details, not so much. She was married, bore a son, divorced.
Apparently she had custody of the son, whom she apparently neglected.
The career, the company, the touring, all were more important.
A “breakdown” is referenced, never elaborated upon.
This is not a bad documentary, and will be essential for fans, yet it is a parade of triumphs.
Best of luck trying to find videos of her Broadway shows.

The Adversary - 2002 - 6/10
AKA - L’adversaire

Doctor at WHO carries a huge burden, as well as responsibility for several lives.
He manages saving accounts for relatives, investing carefully, reaping double digit interest.
And yet - the books are not open. A matter of trust, understand?
During the day, he sits in his car for hours, lunches with a friend’s mistress.
Reserved, almost maddening film is based on real events, and follows the actual individual accurately.
Mundane, banal, head-scratching at times.
Less of a con, more of the double life. Makes one wonder how he danced on the edge for over a decade.

Now You See Me - 2013 - 6/10

Mindless popcorn diversion.
Four mid-tier magicians are gathered together to become major headliners as the Four Horsemen. Part of their act involves robbery.
Very slick production with perpetual camera movement, rapid effects, as well as the various capers.
Plot sweeps swiftly, with barely a letup or quiet moment.
In other words, don’t think about particulars until the credits.
Then it’s like, “Hey, wait a minute … ”
Fun, but despite a stellar cast *, doubt I would ever rewatch this empty flick.

• Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo