xhonzi said:
Vaderisnothayden said:
xhonzi:
I usually don't say much to him because I feel there is little point trying to convince him that he's in the wrong.
By in the wrong do you mean mistaken in views? Like about Star Wars or films or something? Because people certainly seem to feel it's ok to tell me my views are mistaken (and they're right in that, there's nothing wrong with telling anybody their views are mistaken), but I find that some people find it terribly offensive if I return the favor and try to tell somebody else their view is mistaken by debating with their reasoning. Also, I find that some people seem to find it offensive if I defend my views. If somebody comes along and tries to prove my view is mistaken and I respond by trying to prove their view is mistaken and that mine is in fact not mistaken, somehow what they do is considered ok but what I do is not.
To answer your question: No, it's not your opinions I'm saying "make you in the wrong." I respect your and others' right to your own opinions. It's the previously made accusation that you dispense them with such force and vigor as to be a jerk. That's what I meant by saying you are in the wrong. You're welcome to your opinion. No one can change your mind for you, and you violently remind us of that all of the time. It seems that you react to anyone else's opinion as a threat to yours so you have to shut them down.
There's conversing, there's debating, there's arguing and then there's what you do. Maybe it's unintentional. Maybe it's our misreading of your posts, but I do think you come across this way to a large number of the regulars here on the board. Maybe you need to re-read your posts before submitting them. Maybe you need to take a debate class.
Perhaps you think I have crossed a line into rudeness again. Perhaps I have. But my intent here is not to offend you, but to help you understand why you don't get along with a lot of people here so that maybe you can make some tweaks to your online persona. I really do enjoy reading your counterpoint opinion in most cases. In some cases I agree with you, but I always enjoy seeing differing opinions. I starting reading/posting in the forums here to 1) Find like minded SW fans and hear them voice and reconfirm my opinions and 2) Find unlike minded SW fan's, hear their opinions, and more importantly, have them help me understand why they hold those opinions. Now I also come here to 3) have a good time with my virtual friends and 4) insinuate that Gaffer is, in fact, a beautiful woman (which he is!).
I think most people here can appreciate that not everyone will agree with them. I agree with C3PX a lot, but he uses a certain unword from time to time which causes me to discipline him by putting him on my IGNORE list for a day or so. I almost never agree with Warbler, but I still like to hear his side of the discussion. Ric... well, Ric is Ric. And Frink is Frink. Or maybe I mean to say that Ric is Frink and Frink is Ric... I don't know.
What I mean is, maybe stop overcompensating. You have said before that you're entitled to your opinion and you believe in giving it strongly. As I have said before, be a little more aware of other people and it will make the forum here more enjoyable for all of us.
This is the post I said I wouldn't post because I doubted there was much point in trying to convince you that you are the source of your own grief here. Please prove me wrong by thinking about what I said and maybe making some New Years resolutions to make some improvements. I think you're already showing a softer side of VIHN in some of you last posts in this thread.
Most Sincerely,
xhonzi
I don't think you're being rude here. Your intention is clearly not aggressive.
It's the previously made accusation that you dispense them with such force and vigor as to be a jerk.
I express my opinions emphatically and with feeling because that's who I am. I'm an emphatic person who feels things strongly. What needs to be made clear is that I am already toning down my posts almost more than I can bear. It would be impossible for me to post any less emphatically than I do now. And my being emphatic is not meant as an attack on anyone. I don't think people should take it personally when someone disagrees with them emphatically. They should save being offended for when there's actual personal attacks, which is something I try to avoid except when dealing with those who have attacked me.
It seems that you react to anyone else's opinion as a threat to yours so you have to shut them down.
I'm not trying to shut anyone down. I'm just trying to defennd my opinions. Let's say I state an opinion, then somebody else comes along and basically tells me my opinion is mistaken. It shouldn't be hard to understand that I would want to defend my opinion. That requires countering their argument. That's all I'm doing.
Maybe you need to re-read your posts before submitting them.
I already do that.
Maybe it's our misreading of your posts
I suspect that for some reason some people are misunderstanding the intent and mood behind my posts, because people who know me well don't get bent out of shape by my discussion style.
Ric is Frink
Which is a pity, because I like Ric.
What I mean is, maybe stop overcompensating.
Overcompensating in what way? I am already (and have long been) compensating frantically for my tendency to be emphatic. My tendency to be emphatic is not any sort of overcompensating. It's just my nature.
As I have said before, be a little more aware of other people and it will make the forum here more enjoyable for all of us.
I am a lot more aware of others here than I think I'm generally given credit for. Quite simply, I am not being understood.
in trying to convince you that you are the source of your own grief here.
I'm afraid I see the source of my grief here as the limitations of human nature and the capacity of people to misunderstand those different from themselves. Because it is evident from things you and others have said that I am being entirely misunderstood.
Please prove me wrong by thinking about what I said and maybe making some New Years resolutions to make some improvements.
Oh I am thinking about what you're saying. You've presented it in a civilized manner and thus deserve consideration. But as for improvments, as I have indicated, those efforts have already been made and if they weren't I'd be more emphatic than I am. I will of course look for any opportunities that present themselves to improve things further.
I appreciate you trying to come to terms with me.