TheoOdo

@ Negative1

All of the OT is based on dichotomy, so all references to the political scene are there to expand upon the evil and undemocratic nature of the Galactic Empire. Although a backdrop which adds fullness to the setting, the references to imperial politics are not necessary to understand the plot of the film. In the PT they are. It's vital to the plot that we understand that Amidala wishes to discuss a treaty with the Viceroy in order to eject the Trade Federation from her planet. That's her motivation in returning to Naboo. It's not a particularly interesting motivation, but there you have it.

Contrast that with Luke's motivation in destroying the Death Star; all his friends, and probably himself also, will die if he doesn't and the universe is doomed to endure constant tyranny, terror and genocide on planetary-scale for centuries to come. What would happen to Naboo if they didn't succeed? They'd, in all probability, have to wait for a commission to confirm that a droid army had indeed occupied Naboo and then hear from the Queen that she was forced to sign the treaty under threat of death, at which point it is rendered void and the droid army is expelled from Naboo with the assistance of the Republic.

Scenario 1.) The universe is doomed. Scenario 2.) Naboo has a bad day.

Also, the lines you picked out are character building. It informs us, first of all, of Darth Vader's name and also tells us that the white-robed woman is a politician, a royal and a sympathizer of the Rebellion mentioned in the opening crawl. It informs us that Vader is "bold" and that Leia is "merciful". Honestly, Negative1, you seemed to have picked out the only line in which the Imperial senate is mentioned, next to Tarkin's informing the other imperials that it's been destroyed which is there to further solidify our understanding that the Empire has no respect for even it's own spurious vision of democracy.

Whereas "now let's discuss a treaty" is hilariously anti-climatic, after a scene of lightsaber-fighting and shooting. It's rather like the line from the Da Vinci code "we need to find a library!". It's just so...bleh.

Darknikos said:

 

@ TheoOdo: the marvel series is in my to do list! :) I've the scans of the comic books but the colors are horrible! so, I'm buying the reprinted version by dark horse that are completely recoloured.

the goal is to fit them with empire/rebellion series and shadows of the empire. and, yes, removing some "kitsch" elements, specially in the firsts issues, in the part between ANH and TESB.

For the episodes names I simply think that it's unnecessary to have a number for any of them. otherwise we have to give a number to any comic or book of the EU... and it's impossible.

Like a friend of mine, professor of classical letters and huge star wars fan, says the six-episodes saga represent only a portion of a larger universe story, that we can call "Anakineid". A name that recall the ancient greek and latin poems, like already do the star wars story itself (Anakin like a tragic hero, and others...)

ok... this is a bit off topic!

 

The Anakineid! Ha! That's an awesome name for it! I look forward to seeing your treatment of the Marvel series, but taking things one step at a time how close would you say we are to seeing a fully completed example of a fixed universe comic?

Not to sound impatient ...

Also, the comic versions of the PT really provide a unique opportunity to edit the PT to fit better with the OT in terms of plot and other little inconsistencies. Any plan to edit them too?

"Now, Viceroy, we will discuss a new treaty!"

Whoah-ho! Hold the phone! They're gonna' discuss a treaty!? WOW! I'm giddy with anticipation! In the words of the young Anakin Skywalker: Whoopie!

Great! I'm real glad you liked my edition of the crawl.

This whole Fixed Universe thing has inspired me to maybe work on an edit of my own in the future, of the Marevl series as Baronlando suggested. Because the Marvel series is quite kitsch, rather like elements of the first Star Wars, it would be interesting to edit it in such a way that it becomes progressively darker in color, tone, theme and style so that it bridges the gap between "ANH" and ESB in terms of both plot and style. Then the same could be done with the gap between ESB and ROTJ.

I was thinking I might label them as something like "Episode IV - II" or "Episode IV: Part II" (or, hey, maybe "Episode IV and-a-half"? :P ). Anyway, this is all up in the air at the moment 'cause I'm real busy but if I ever get around to doing something like this I'll be sure to keep everyone posted.

That's true. It's just that I found, next to the Empire and Jedi and the New Republic, pregnancy seems a little domestic. But you're right, it's important.

Here's version 2:

HEIR TO THE EMPIRE

 

It is a time of challenge and opportunity for the New Galactic Republic.

The IMPERIAL STARFLEET, which once held the entire galaxy within their

tyranny, has now been forced to flee into the darker corners of space.

 

Luke Skywalker, young leader of the New Republic,

is now training his sister Leia Organa Solo in the ways

and traditions of the JEDI KNIGHTS, hoping to restore

the ancient Jedi Order to it's former glory. Leia, now pregnant

with twins, also faces personal difficulties beyond the task

of her rigorous Jedi training.

 

But this time of peace may be short lived, as thousands

of light-years away the last of the Empire's warlords

has taken command of the shattered IMPERIAL FLEET,

readied it for war, and pointed it at the heart of the fledgling New Republic ....

If I may be so bold, here is my attempt at an alternate crawl. I have excised mention of Leia's pregnancy, as her maternity doesn't seem to be quite on the same level of importance as intergalactic conflict, restoration of ancient orders and the general theme of the crawl. Mention of "the Emperor" is replaced with "the Empire", as the Emperor is no longer important; he's dead.

*ahem*

HEIR TO THE EMPIRE

 

It is a time of challenge and opportunity for the New Galactic Republic.

The IMPERIAL STARFLEET,

which once held the entire galaxy within their

tyranny, have now been forced to flee into the darker corners of space.

 

Luke Skywalker, young leader of the New Republic,

is now training his sister

Leia in the ways and traditions of the JEDI KNIGHTS,

hoping to restore the ancient Jedi Order to it's former glory.

 

But thousands of light-years away, the last of the Empire's warlords

has taken command of the shattered IMPERIAL FLEET,

readied it for war, and pointed it at the heart of the fledgling New Republic ....

This may be controversial, but I'd like to suggest that a particular line of 3PO's in the carbon chamber be removed. The line in question is "Oh, they've encased him in carbonite. He should be very well protected, if he survived the freezing process that is."

This line has always grated on me, because it's so glaringly obvious! It's what everyone up to that point has been discussing! Boba, Vader and Lando established this very firmly in earlier scenes. This piece of pointless explanatory dialogue, for me at least, ruins the mood of an otherwise wonderful moment that still gives me chills.

This is something I've really thought about a lot. There are so many plot holes in the PT, some less obvious than others that I've never actually seen addressed by even the most probing of fans.

First of all, Anakin Skywalker's upbringing. Owen Lars states knowingly to Beru that he is afraid of Luke having "too much of his father in him", which infers that he actually had some experience with Anakin and certainly not that he was a mere step-brother who came into his life much later on and only momentarily.

Also, during the scene in Obi-Wan's hut it is revealed that Owen Lars thought Anakin should have "stayed here" (Tatooine) and not gotten involved in the Clone Wars. This suggests two things; first of all that Owen knew Anakin while he was living on Tatooine, because it would otherwise be nonsensical for him to make judgements about his leaving Tatooine (particularly when according to GL's PT staying would have meant remaining a slave, something even the gruff figure of Owen Lars couldn't have supported). Secondly it suggests that Anakin left Tatooine with the specific purpose of "getting involved" with the Clone Wars in a "damn, fool-idealistic crusade" with Obi-Wan. This scene does not suggest at all that Anakin left Tatooine before the Clone Wars. He left in order to become a Jedi Knight during the Clone Wars, if my reading of this scene is accurate.

Another hint as to the relationship between Anakin, Owen and Obi-Wan is given when Owen states that he believes Obi-Wan to have died around the same time as Luke's father. As both Anakin and Obi-Wan are, in fact, alive this could be taken to mean that Owen was aware of Obi-Wan's metaphorical perception of the "death" of Anakin Skywalker and applied the same judgement to Obi-Wan himself, perhaps believing him to have surrendered himself to the new persona of "Ben Kenobi".

Another thing that's very up in the air is the nature of the Clone Wars. In "Dark Empire" Luke finds himself on board a "dungeon ship", which he says is the same kind they used to transport Jedi during the Clone Wars. It's possible to speculate, then, that the Clone Wars may have been a war against the Jedi, involving mass execution and imprisonment of the Jedi. Anakin may have switched sides in this war in order to enjoy the greater power of the Dark Side having been corrupted. At which he point he "helped" hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. "Before the Dark Times, before the Empire..."

Well, that's all I can think of off the top of my head...

This may be controversial, but I'd like to suggest that a particular line of 3PO's in the carbon chamber be removed. The line in question is "Oh, they've encased him in carbonite. He should be very well protected, if he survived the freezing process that is."

This line has always grated on me, because it's so glaringly obvious! It's what everyone up to that point has been discussing! Boba, Vader and Lando established this very firmly in earlier scenes. This piece of pointless explanatory dialogue, for me at least, ruins the mood of an otherwise wonderful moment that still gives me chills.

I have a little idea, with regards to Dark Empire, take it or leave it.

Perhaps instead of the clone Emperor being the source of conflict in DE it could instead be Janus Greejatus and/or Sim Aloo, the two robed figures who appear temporarily in RotJ aboard the Death Star II. Having been trained in the ways of the Sith by the Emperor, they are attempting to reconstruct the Sith Empire just as their deceased master had instructed them to do. They do this with the assistance of a young Force-sensitive apprentice (actually one of the younger looking Emperor clones).

Or have you already decided what you're going to do with DE?

Darknikos said:

 

@ TheoOdo: the work on thrawn trilogy it's almost finished and i'm now working on dark empire. I was planning to release together Thrawn, dark empire and crimson empire, beacuse in this editing are now (finally) one cohesive story!

but i'm now thinking to release soon only the Thrawn trilogy, and then share here my plans for dark/crimson empire, so anyone intersted can discuss about the new storyline (and, i'm sure, improved it).

 

Well, I would love to read the Thrawn Trilogy soon, to see what you've done with it.

But I'm interested most in what you plan on doing with Dark Empire, because the Palpatine clone plot is so silly. Can I ask, what are you planning to do about that?

Anymore updates on this?