I know this is a gentle restructure, but this would be a nice to shot to have reinserted into someone’s edit too.
Is there a thread where I can find these unused clips in good quality? I found the shot in question, but perhaps someone has a list or something.
I think the idea was removing, “They’re here,” avoids having it look like no one told Maz about the impending attack.
Well, technically, since the approaching TIEs were removed there is no certain attack, and even if they suspect an attack might be coming they have no idea when it’s happening or if they will be attacking the castle itself. So to me, “they’re here” is not about total surprise, but a sort of disbelief and shock that they are now actually HERE, at her home, attacking directly.
It could be removed, that’s something to try, but I feel like it works like it is.
@Sir Ridley: Feel free to use this for your Kylo shuttle version if you’d like. I will probably upload the full AVI soon 😃
Thank you, I might! I feel like you could work a bit on the clouds, though. To me they seem a bit too transparent. I think it could look something like this: http://photorator.com/photos/images/land-of-the-rising-sun-clouds-over-mount-fuji-filled-with-the-colors-of-dawns-sunlight-by-rjapanpics-48090.jpg
Even the small clouds in front of the mountain just have some transparency at the edges, the rest is blocking the view.
That’s true. I’ll keep working on a Kylo version for now, I’ll share when it’s done.
In regards to the rest of the scene I agree with keeping “those beasts”, and no intercutting. In regards to the controversial TIE sunset I guess there might have to be one version with and one without.
About the lone Stardestroyer idea, and the in universe reason for it being there… I’m thinking it’s there to oversee the area, making sure nobody escapes with the droid, and to direct troops and TIEs below. Fair enough, seems logical.
But if it’s there and everyone sees it’s there, there’s no need to hide anything. Assuming Kylo is on this Stardestroyer, it would make sense for him to as soon as possible go for Rey and BB8. Why wouldn’t he fly out of this Stardestroyer rather than appear from nowhere later?
It also makes everything more relatable for the audience. Instead of asking why the Stardestroyer is there and who is on it and what is the point, they can see that it brought Kylo. Everyone knows Kylo and what he wants and what danger he represents so everything is made (seemingly) clear, logically and emotionally.
But sending out Kylo also hides the other, hidden purpose, which is the large scale attack, both in universe and to the audience. To me, seeing Kylo and him actually moving toward the heroes (as opposed to a ship just floating above) gives a bigger impact than a nameless Stardestroyer with an unknown mission.
If you don’t agree, of course I’ll help with whichever scenario you prefer.
Carrie’s hair is different in the deleted scene. 😦
Here’s the idea: we insert Han in the beginning of the deleted scene, with the line “you changed your hair”, and then when we see her the next time he remarks once again “you changed your hair”. Problem solved.
But yeah, that’s a shame. The braid, right? Technically I guess it could be removed digitally. Looking at the scene I feel like it would be doable. If there is a perfect spot for the scene in the movie and all that’s needed to make it work is removing the braid (and the time code) I could give it a try.
In other news: I’m currently looking into having 3D ships for the Kylo idea. I’m cautiously optimistic about it, but not quite there yet.
I’d have to see it but the combination of a shuttle flying directly at them and a surprise attack is what feels off to me. Not having the Stardestroyer wouldn’t change that and also it looks very cool.
With the material available I’d say something bad has to come directly at them, and TIEs need to fly over Rey. I don’t know if the way the crowd is looking and where Rey is is even the same, so perhaps seeing TIEs in both places would technically be two different groups of TIEs which would explain why they don’t match exactly, but would raise other questions. Hmmm.
Something else to try could be changing the shot where Rey looks up to have the TIEs a bit higher up.
And I also find it a little unbelievable that the First Order would launch a surprise attack and at the same time have a Stardestroyer clearly visible in orbit and a shuttle coming right at their target.
How about Kylo and TIEs but no Stardestroyer?
Awesome! So glad to finally find some sort of solution. 😃
JEDIT: Here’s close-to-final sequence, from the launch of the shuttle to landing:
https://vimeo.com/199415784
Password: kylo
And here’s the uncompressed avi of the final sequence with a few more tweaks to the movement of the shuttle:
https://mega.nz/#!nM9ACJ7L!FREhN8pIrmzOy6y9u6Hr1PzpzIRi0J4dJjzRmk6mIqoI just used the original movie edits, so obviously it will need dubbing at the very least. Beyond that though, cuts are really subjective. I suppose the Apocalypse Now TIEs can go, but ‘Those beasts!’ sounds about right considering the surprise attack.
What do you think? Should Kylo have a TIE escort, or is he more brazen than that?
Very nice! I’m downloading the avi now. I’m thinking maybe the escort is unnecessary? This way it looks less threatening (which strategically would be good) but as you say also brazen and badass. And either way Kylo knows TIEs are coming.
I’m not really convinced by the ship and it’s movements now though. It’s clearly just a cutout, and seen from the back. Ideally I would like a 3D model or even a physical model, or at least a better cutout. What could be cool (and JJ Abramsy) as well would be a zoom in on the ship in the second shot of the sky. Maybe. I think I’ll try some things.
EDIT:
Here’s a cutout I made with the shuttle straight from the front, it could work better:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/8f0z415ideyu2yg/kylo shuttle front.png?dl=0
Here’s the shuttle version without the TIE fighter escort. I think it will need the TIEs in the final version.
https://vimeo.com/199369649
Password: kyloI went ahead and cleaned up the laser a bit more as well as giving the Finalizer some movement.
This is cool, I like it. I guess it makes more sense too, in many ways.
• It makes sense to have the TIE attack that Rey sees come as more of a surprise attack, it’s a bit weird to just have them approach slowly in plain sight. The attack would be more of a surprise to the audience as well.
• Also, Kylo coming alone or with a few TIEs approaching slowly and menacingly works for him as a character. Later on when Rey sees the castle being destroyed he just glides in slowly as well.
• The reactions of everyone on the ground works better as well, not panicking, just wondering and worrying. Perhaps especially how Han is now looking at his son, with that troubled expression.
• And of course it removes the continuity problem with the angle and direction of the attacking TIEs.
So I guess I’d like to try this concept next, without the intercutting, and see how it works with the score and everything.
I like how the new cut order makes the attack more fast paced, what would you say is your main issues with how things unfold now?
I agree that how Finn sees the ships (moving down) compared to how Rey sees them (moving straight ahead above the treetops) might be a continuity issue. Perhaps NeverarGreat could make a mock up of the idea with Kylo’s shuttle?
I don’t really agree about the idea of “conforming to peoples memories”, the main goal should be to make a cut that works in it’s own right. If it’s good it’s good, and if it’s different then so be it.
Oh, that’s incredible. You’re a wonderful group. After I put out V1, I sat at my computer hoping, "Won’t someone please make this better?"
And, Sir Ridley, though it’s a cliche comment at this point, “we will watch your career with great interest.”
Haha, thank you! I’m glad I finally joined, it’s much easier to create nice things when everyone shares their opinions and skills.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-zcfN1RMDU
2:19 - pounds
12:21 - sounds
29:08 - foundall in his english accent but might work for the redub.
Great! 😃 I will look into this.
Things are moving forward! Here’s a new clip with all the good bits, from Rey leaving the castle and until her return.
Change list:
• Intercutting à la DominicCobb (new)
• Updated score without repeating parts (new)
• Better sound mix (new)
• “They’ve found us”
• No sunset TIEs
• My unnecessary wipe removed (new)
• Finn takes the lightsaber from Maz quicker
• “Those beasts” cut, “they’re here” left in
Did a very quick super rough (nothing but music) mockup of the First Order arriving to show a different piece that could accompany it.
https://vimeo.com/199195154
pw: tfa
I’m not sure about the music, it works but I’m not sure it’s better. However, this order of events is different from the one I’m using, and similar to a concept Hal was working on. If Rey seeing the TIEs is cut together with Finn seeing the TIEs like that the problem is gone anyway because the repeating of the music I used for the TIE attack occurs when Rey spots them later. I like this order more, because it places the slow bits of Rey in the forest before we see the attack rather than after which makes the pacing a lot nicer. If you don’t mind I’ll try this in my edit and see what happens with the music.
Once again: Very well done.
I would remove the wipe though since usually those are used to go to a completely different location or to show that a larger amount of time has passed. And none of that is the case here. Additionally it didn’t look right to me.
Thank you! You’re right about the wipe, I’ll remove it. I was probably too caught up in the idea of making a cool wipe, haha.
The only other thing: The “They’re here.” shot seems a little short to me. There’s probably nothing that can be done about it but I wanted to let you know.
Yeah, it’s good that you mention any issues but it ends where it ends, so…
And while it’s a shame that the TIE sunset shot had to go I didn’t miss it at all when watching your little edit and it didn’t really fit in this scene anyway.
Even JJ acknowledges that the shot makes no sense lighting-wise and is just there because it’s so cool. And in this edit it’s even more unnecessary since the approaching TIEs have already been shown a lot.
That’s great! I wonder if it might be more effective to cut to underground rather than side wipe. And I’d be fine with moving the TIE sunset shot to earlier in the film as a few others have done, if it’s better for this problematic sequence to remove it.
I’ll try a cut as well! To where did they move the TIE shot exactly?
I really like what DigMod did with the rathrar scene.
Password: fanedit.org
That’s good! Quite similar to mine, except instead of “you okay” followed by the hatch and then everyone running to the Falcon I have “you okay”, then Han and Chewie run to the Falcon, then the hatch and finally Rey and Finn catching up.
I’ve tried editing the following scene a bit. I’ve removed the sunset TIE shot (replaced with a wipe), removed Maz saying “those beasts”, tightened up her giving the lightsaber to Finn and rescored most of the scene with some more “urgent” music since they know TIEs are approaching. The rescoring and cutting of the sunset shot also get rid of a part of the music that was inserted earlier when Finn spots the TIEs.
I know this is an old thread and I don’t know if you still have any intention on removing more timestamps, but if you do I suggest the “Leia and the Resistance” scene from the 3D Blu-ray. I’d love to see this scene in Hal’s restructure but with the timecode that’s currently not possible 😦
Seconded, it’s a good little scene that could be nice to have back in the film.
DominicCobb said:
I think the music you’ve put in is a big mistake though, as that exact music is used minutes later in that exact scene.
Yeah, I’ve noticed. We’ll see how we deal with this.
bromeo said:
Most impressive! Now I only need that shortened Rathtar scene in this edit and my life will be complete! I appreciate you fellas so much, wow.
I’m working on a shortened Rathar sequence for my personal edit, actually. Maybe I should make a different thread for that one.
Hal 9000 said:
If the new music seems perfect and irreplaceable, we could probably replace it’s later appearance pretty easily.
I wouldn’t say irreplaceable, but it’s a really good fit. I haven’t really tried much else. I’ve been thinking of cutting the “TIEs in sunset” shot which is tied to (sorry) that same cue later, and I’d probably have to edit the music to go better with that cut anyway. But if you want both the new music and the TIEs for your edit we’ll have to figure something else out I guess.
Octorox said:
Great work, that’s pretty close to seamless. The TIE sounds seem a little loud considering how far away they are but otherwise that clip is great.
Thank you, yeah, I’m working on the sound editing and mixing of the whole scene.
Once we’ve gotten that clip into shape pretty much how we all like it, I would request an uncompressed output of your work without the TIE sound effects. This WILL address a major sticking point in V1, and I thank you again for the stellar contribution!
Of course! I’ll keep you updated. 😃
I improved it! I fixed the volume dip (thank you ForceGhostRecon), mixed better (thank you MalàStrana) with more tie sounds, and added a new score (thank you Kexikus). There’s still room for tweaks and fine tuning but I think it works much better already! Take a look:
Kexikus said:
I’d say it’s really good already. Maybe you can play around with the pitch or tempo to make it flow more naturally. Although I have no knowledge when it comes to audio editing so maybe what I just wrote makes no sense^^For the score: I posted my idea some days ago but here it is again: I used “Kylo Ren Arrives at the Battle” from the awards consideration score for the music. First the part from approximately 0:15 to 0:27 for Finns solo scene and then 0:45 to 0:55 for the rest of the scene. Keep in mind that the album version of this track is different!
Thank you! I did play around with it a lot already, but I’ll see if I can improve it more. And I’ll try your score idea too, thanks!
Edit:
I made another FX shot. I expanded NeverarGreat’s smokeless Starkiller matte and removed the scorched planet surface around the opening.
The Aluminum Falcon said:
Really good results actually! That was the one slightly off part of the edit. If HAL 9000 agrees, could there be a V2 audio track with this little tweak?
Yes, that was the idea. 😃 If he wants me to I’ll send him the necessary files for adding it (lip synced video, dialogue track).
Thank you! I might be able to make it sound better, but I would need a better audio clip of Boyega saying something similar (the “ound” sound for “found”, especially). I found a clip where he said something about “five pound” that I used for this, but it was not ideal, so if anyone can find a better audio source I’d be happy.
It might also work better with a different musical cue, as some suggested. Any ideas about a part of the score which could be used here?
So here’s my take on Finn’s line “They’ve done it”, redubbing it as “They’ve found us”, including animation on the mouth to make it bite together a bit on the “us” rather than the original open mouth “it”.
What do you think?
Hi, this is my first post on this forum! I’d just like to say that I’m a big fan of this fan edit, and I’m currently working on my own fan edit based on this one.
In regards to the “they’ve done it” scene, I’ve actually been able to change it into “they’ve found us” by editing together a few small bits of Boyega talking combined with a subtle mouth animation to better fit the new words. I will upload files for you later so you can take a look and perhaps implement it in your edit. 😃
