Octorox

Good news! Episode II is done. I still need to compile a changelist and make a write up before I upload, but expect to see it on myspleen soon. I still think Ep2 is the weakest of the 3 but this is about as satisfied as I think I will get with it. And to answer your question MalaStrana, not a ton has changed with the love montage from the clips I showed before, but there has been some polish. I guess you’ll see exactly how it plays out after I upload the edit 😃.

Some new box art for Episode I and my upcoming Episode II edit. I didn’t do the sides or back but someone else is free to do them if they want. Episode III will probably have Obi-Wan:
http://imgur.com/a/L1H1F

So I played with removing the scene where Ani and Padme meet the new queen and putting the “Meet the parents” scene directly after the arrival scene instead. However, Padme’s sudden wardrobe change was just too jarring so I’m going to go back to how I had it previously. One thing I’m trying to address is that in many fanedits (particularly L8wrtr’s) the movie cuts very quickly between Anakin and Obi-Wan’s storylines, to the point where it can feel disorienting and jumpy, and make it hard to “settle in” with either plotline. I’m trying to address this by presenting bigger chunks of story before switching to the other perspective. So far I think it’s pretty successful but the proof will be in testing audience reaction. I’m probably going to release a workprint of Ep II before the final cut for that very reason.

Is it possible to change the topic title? I’m not sure how.

Spot on 😉

jedimasterobiwan said:

octorox is midiclorians gone in your edit if so fine even though i don’t mind midicloreans. but does it effect the clone wars?

…I think I’ve pretty much already answered these questions.

Yes, I will. Although this is hardly final, it’s possible (though probably unlikely) that I bring the full dinner scene back. I’m basically trying out all my ideas at this point and seeing what sticks. My current concerns are:

Montages are a pretty un-Star Warsy device. (Although Order 66 is kind of a montage)

One scene makes for a pretty short montage.

The day for night effect on the kiss scene is not convincing.

Still playing around with various ideas and experiments around the romance. https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_PHn47bcLaZa3A2RUVYQ0d0WGs/view?usp=sharing

Yeah I may have to re-introduce the “your presence is soothing” bit as much as I hate it. I tried to edit it as “don’t go” then “you had a nightmare last night, I heard you” but the cut was too jarring since Padme goes from turning around in the first shot to standing still in the second. And I will try removing the “senator” bit as well, that’s a great point.

EDIT: …And I can’t find a way to remove that line without creating a jarring music edit. Great 😕

Sorry, dream sequence stays. I want to seed them in now since I will be taking the l8wrtr approach to the dream sequences in ROTS. I thought about creating visuals for this sequence but I figured it would be much easier and probably more subtle if they were all just audio only. I also really wanted to cut the “your presence is soothing” line and the only way to cut that convincingly is to cut the “you had another nightmare, I heard you” bit. The rest of the conversation is confusing and random if you don’t actually see him having the nightmare, since you don’t know what he’s talking about.

Pear scene might still go though. Here is the dream scene without the dinner, let me know which you guys prefer. Keep in mind the last scene we see with them is the kiss.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_PHn47bcLaZNFl6M2ZpWDdvLTg/view?usp=sharing

New preview clip: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_PHn47bcLaZTEx6dHVoY1ZfRlk/view?usp=sharing
I may have found a use for the pear scene after all. Mainly looking for feedback on whether the dinner scene is really needed or not. Also would like opinion on a certain clip from another movie I used here…

EDIT: You may have to download this one, since the preview doesn’t seem to be working.

Have some preview clips! Download them for better quality.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_PHn47bcLaZSmdBTnZLSXp2aXM/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_PHn47bcLaZVHFFclNSTGZpdWs/view?usp=sharing

Yes, those lines are gone!

Pretty close actually. This is what I have currently:

Sequence 1
arrival on Naboo (Alternate version trimmed)
corridor conversation (Alternate version)
Queen meeting (trimmed version)

Sequence 2
family meeting (L8’s, sourced from Hal’s with cuts recreated)

Sequence 3
Meadow scene (rolling on grass removed,
Transitions directly into daytime kiss (mix of Phantom Editors and Hal’s).

Ill try to get preview clips up soon to show some of the original stuff.

So progress on Episode II has been going pretty smoothly. As I suspected, this edit is probably going to be more unique in comparison to Episode I. The romance is the area that most editors tend to tackle differently, and mine is no exception. The general template is similar to The Phantom Editor’s and Hal’s but the structure and ordering of scenes is a bit different than either. I can say that if you hate the “floating pear” scene and the “rolling in the grass” scene you will likely be happy as both of those scenes look to be out of the picture. On the contrary this may be the only edit I know of to use a cut down version of the scene where Padme talks with the new queen instead of omitting it completely.

jedimasterobiwan said:

Octorox said:

Yes, I’m a fan of the series so that is part of my intent, although making the movies work on their own terms is still the number one goal. If you catch any blatant contradictions, please let me know.

well in the edit your edit is going to be taken from removes the younglings and ahsoka was shown as a youngling so you have to keep the younglings in things like that. also as a side note is the yoda fights still going to be removed. please reply to both.

I can answer these.

1.) Younglings will be a thing in my edits, including Anakin’s massacre of them (with the dialogue cut as in L8wrtr’s edit), but the scene of Yoda training the younglings in Ep2 will be gone since it undermines Obi-Wan’s character.

2.) Yoda’s fight in Episode II will be removed, but you will see him fight the Emperor in Episode III with some trims. I’ve always been in the camp of “Having no one challenge the Emperor is more stupid than Yoda fighting with a lightsaber”.

Yes, I’m a fan of the series so that is part of my intent, although making the movies work on their own terms is still the number one goal. If you catch any blatant contradictions, please let me know.

So there’s now actually a way to download other than Myspleen. You can PM me for a link.

jedimasterobiwan said:

Octorox said:

jedimasterobiwan said:

Octorox what’s the latest on your edit and are you doing episode 2 and 3.

It’s out on Myspleen. And yes I will, but I’m waiting for Hal’s Ep2 v4 with the upscaled deleted scenes first.

your edit of ep 1 doesn’t put the deleted scenes back in does it?

Just one, the scene where Qui-Gon cuts down the probe droid. I felt it was necessary because it explains why Qui-Gon and Anakin are running in the next scene. I generally tried to avoid deleted scenes in Ep1 because the gulf in quality next to the Blu-Ray footage is even more noticeable compared to the other two films, even with the great upscaling job done in Hal’s edit.

EDIT:
Also, these are the WORKING titles of my trilogy.
Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace - Faster, More Intense
Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones - Sanded Down
Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith - From My Point of View

I can also confirm that while all of the edits will be hybridized versions of existing edits, I do have some more novel ideas of my own when it comes to Episode II and III. It depends on what I’m able to pull off.

jedimasterobiwan said:

Octorox what’s the latest on your edit and are you doing episode 2 and 3.

It’s out on Myspleen. And yes I will, but I’m waiting for Hal’s Ep2 v4 with the upscaled deleted scenes first.

The “Padme Lives!” ending seems pretty seamless now. Good job on that. I’ve always loved the insertion of the Qui-Gon line as well.

I still can’t abide by what you’ve done with other aspects of the film though. What you have is much closer to early drafts of Episode III where the premonitions and the threat of Padme’s death played a much smaller part in the narrative. Without putting emphasis on that emotional through-line, it makes Anakin’s turn seem much less motivated, moving his tragic flaw from emotional attachment to just being kind of power hungry and generally shitty. I think one of the ways the novelization improves this is by adding more connections to Padme’s death: for example having Anakin’s outrage at not being promoted to master be not out of petulance but because he wants access to information in the archives that he believes will help him save Padme.

This is just my opinion though. I know you have a different take that you’re going for and respect you for trying to achieve that, I just don’t think the material available supports it.

Also I think the Death Star vs. Coruscant thing barely matters…I guess I prefer the Death Star so yay?

jedimasterobiwan said:

Octorox said:

It’s out, with some minor technical issues. I will have a fixed version out in a few days so you might want to wait.

are you doing color correction and adding back the grain.

I’ve inherited the color correction and grain from Hal’s edit and done it myself to the few bits not in Hal’s edit in order to make them blend better. Also the new version should be up within the next few hours.

It’s out, with some minor technical issues. I will have a fixed version out in a few days so you might want to wait.

Thanks for the feedback. Yes, the intention is to have a pretty fast paced cut. The number one complaint I hear from people about TPM is particular is that “it’s boring” and “I feel asleep during the movie” so I wanted to try to turn the movie into more of a ride, and one of the few ways I have to inject energy into it is through cutting for pacing reasons. Are there any audio edits that you found particularly jarring?

Okay. A V1 of the edit is now up on Myspleen. However, I’ve noticed that there’s still framerate stutter/dropped frames in a few scenes. I would really appreciate if anyone who downloads could point out the shots they notice the stutter, so I can go back to these shots and try to correct them. I think it’s something that happened in the process of converting to ProRes for editing.