Octorox

honestabe said:

Octorox,

I am not entirely sure what to say here because the link to your cut list is not working for me. I do not want to vex you with recommendations that you have already incorporated. So here are some possibilities that may or may not work with what you are looking for.

• If you want a much darker ending, you could incorporate some of the Vader lines similar to this clip where he indicates Padme “means nothing.” The musical score needs to be restored and some words can be trimmed out.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Li9FA3I5zqw

• I have always felt that as much of Grievous coughing as possible should be removed. It makes him too much of a sideshow. I would also suggest removing Windu labeling Grievous a coward who hides when talking to Palpatine. This helps make Grievous a more serious villain.

I am not sure if you would also include the deleted scene as upscaled by Bobson Dugnutt where Grievous assassinates Shaak Ti as well.

• Remove Windu labeling Anakin as “young” during the Jedi council scene. Likewise, remove Windu’s later line calling him a boy on the gunship while talking with Yoda. If my understanding is correct, you incorporated elements from the New Canon Cut where Anakin is referred to as a general. A general should not be referred to as ‘young’ nor a ‘boy.’

Apologies for the cutlist link being done. I actually lost the file when I switched away from Google Drive. When V2 happens I will create a new cutlist.

Out of all the ideas you mentioned, the only one I’ve implemented is cutting Mace Windu referring to Grievous as a coward. The others are interesting, I’ll give them a think.

After becoming enamored with the pacing of Hal’s edit, I started to feel like there might be a bit too much padding in my edit. I wanted to upload a few clips of scenes that may be extraneous to get feedback/opinions on, as follows.

1.) The Anakin/Padme balcony scene. I’m not sure if this scene really adds a whole lot. Labyrinth of Evil cuts it completely, going straight from the Sidious hologram conversation to Anakin’s nightmare, and it works quite well, creating a more direct implication that Sidious is perhaps planting the dream in Anakin through the force.

Here is how it stands in V1 of the edit:
https://e.pcloud.link/publink/show?code=XZg30WZsYP4tfwKRikQijVICHJsN46PXdqV

My original rationale for including the scene was that it might be more effective to show Anakin and Padme happy and planning their potential future together before it’s all taken away. What do you all think?

2.) In V1, I also included a truncated version of Mace, Yoda, and Obi-Wan’s conversation before Anakin is denied the rank of master. I edited it down to avoid conflicting with the later wartable scene. However, I’m not sure if the scene adds enough in it’s current state to be worth including:

Here is how it looks in V1:
https://e.pcloud.link/publink/show?code=XZx30WZioGzK8VYnT8V5x08tVMKeh94pQBy

3.) One of the more unique features of V1 was this sequence, going from Anakin’s 2nd nightmare -> The 3rd seeds of the rebellion scene -> The scene in Padme’s apartment. However, If I’m removing Anakin telling Padme about his nightmares, I’m not sure if the remainder of the apartment scene really works on its own. What do you think?

Here’s how it could look in V2 if I kept this scene:
https://e.pcloud.link/publink/show?code=XZC30WZxwPVKeGnUjySKMwTUrAyTfMoFIAX

Thanks in advance for any feedback.

NeverarGreat said:

I mean, there’s the idea that Anakin didn’t go to the Jedi Temple at the end and Obi-wan made up his Youngling killing to get Padme to lead him to Anakin…but that’s probably a bigger change than you were thinking about 😉

Yeah, that’s an interesting idea but probably beyond the scope of this edit.

The big change that I’m considering for V2 is adopting Hal’s decision to have Anakin keep his premonitions from Padme. I’ll also likely move the opera scene up where Hal did in his “Alternate ending” edit to facilitate that.

I’m also going to be reverting some edits I made in V1 that I don’t think quite work. For example bits of audio I borrowed from the New Canon Cut that stick out a bit. I want to brainstorm some other ideas to make revisiting this worthwhile though, as it’s starting to border on “Labyrinth of Evil with a couple minor changes”.

Hey all, in light of watching Hal’s latest “alternate ending” cut of Labyrinth of Evil, and really digging the scene order and general structure, I’m thinking about reworking this edit. Does anyone have any wishes or ideas in mind for an Episode III edit that haven’t been realized?

Hal 9000 said:

Here’s an attempt at extending the vision sequence, using material that was already part of the ‘Rey Nobody’ version. While I do still want to get a glimpse of Ochi’s ship, the changes we have been talking about with Rey feeling undeserving of Leia’s express sense of familial connection make it more important to establish this. So not only does she see herself on the Sith throne, she is haunted by past brushes with darkness. (The ambient audio for the added parts is a little janky, pulling from the TFA vision sequence and the TLJ scene where Luke looks into Kylo Ren’s mind in a flashback.)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CiZMcU9NaKbyv2mMzegL1bgnkSqFlHRN/view?usp=share_link

EDIT: Also, so I don’t forget, I still need a replacement for “He’s too dangerous” but with a somewhat fast delivery.

Looks good to me.

The fact that the Jedi during the Clone Wars basically trained child soldiers has never been so stark as in this episode. I really appreciated that the show dug into that trauma, even if it was just a little bit. I’m enjoying the episodes overall so far, although I agree with everyone who’s saying that the performances feel a bit restrained.

I’d be interested in a link.

I kind of agree with the general sentiment on the AI lines. I think the “lightspeed ramming” line is nice and unobtrusive and a couple others I can take or leave, but overall the pure additions tend to be a bit distracting, particularly the Leia lines.

SpenceEdit said:

Here’s an extremely rough preview of some things I’m playing with for the Order 66 scene. I have done barely any audio editing on this so far.

• Everything plays as normal till the speederbike crash.
• Yoda sequence moved to after the Jedi Temple but before Bail Organa arriving.
• Padme overlooking the flaming temple moved to here. C-3PO removed from the shot.
• Used footage from Obi-Wan Kenobi, Book of Boba Fett and The Mandalorian to add more carnage inside the temple.
• Scene of Anakin explicitly murdering Younglings removed.
• Shot of Anakin looking at the Younglings moved to the end of the sequence to imply he’s looking over what’s happening.

https://streamable.com/23tgc1

Nice, that works really well!

Hal 9000 said:

I’m about halfway through syncing English subtitles to this. There’ll be .srt subtitles as well as PGS subtitles formatted to match ANH’s burned in subtitles (but a little smaller).

If anyone wants to adjust other language tracks to match once I’m done, shouldn’t be too hard. Much more easily done if you know the language.

Hey Hal, did you ever finish making subs for this edit?

Hal 9000 said:

That’s a great impersonator! I’d be hard pressed to overwrite actual JEJ with an imitation, though.

Eh, maybe alternate audio? I don’t know if the guy would give permission but doesn’t hurt to ask.

I think an alternate audio track would be great personally. I love JEJ but this scene rips me out of the film every time.

Alternatively, in TM2YC’s cut, he removes this scene and saves the reveal of Vader for when Tarkin calls on him later in the film. I’m honestly not sure which I prefer.

The line sounds good but personally I prefer the current solution of excising that plotline completely. I know it doesn’t leave Finn with much to do but I don’t think he really has much to do either way unfortunately.

I noticed during a recent rewatch that Cassian has a line implying that he’s never been in prison.

CHIRRUT: Relax, Captain.

We’ve been in worse cages than this one.

CASSIAN: This is the first for me.

I wonder if there’s a way to edit or remove that line so it doesn’t seemingly contradict the events of Andor?

One thing that’s always bothered me a bit in the current release of Cloak of Deception is the music transition between the flag parade and the scene of Shmi telling Anakin to “be safe”. The track just kind of ends abruptly in the middle. The Phantom Editor addressed this by letting more of the track play out at a quieter volume over the next scene. Is this something you could take a look at for the final release?

moviejim said:

Can I get a link to the film please I am so looking forward to seeing it.

PM me if you’d like a link.

Hey, send me a PM and I’ll send you a link.

Feel free to share your re-encoded and/or re-censored versions as you please (with credit). Personally I prefer the larger file size to preserve the film-grain look and to maintain blu-ray compatibility for those who want it.

To give some positive feedback, I believe you handled the opening of the movie better than any other edit I’ve seen. The first meeting of Anakin and Padme is also handled better here than anywhere else imo.

I haven’t gotten all the way through yet, but here are my thoughts on the first half of the AOTC workprint. I think the overall pacing works really well and doesn’t need tweaking so all of my comments are specific nitpicks:

-There were some establishing shots I found a little wonky with the new scenes they were attached to. For example, The establishing shots of Sheev’s office and the senate building ought to be swapped in order to make sense with their respective scenes (I think this is a change Hal made in a late version of the Approaching Storm). There’s also an establishing shot of the Naboo palace that’s pulled from Phantom Menace and I don’t think it really works, since the scene it precedes doesn’t take place in the palace. I would consider maybe reshuffling the order of events so that the establishing shot isn’t needed.

-The cgi in some of the deleted scenes is very unfinished. I realize that you can’t do much about that, but I thought some other edits I’ve seen do a better job of at least cutting around it. For example, there are some pretty distracting shots of JarJar in the senate deleted scene, which I think could be easily cut around.

-There are a couple instances (from the original movie) where characters seem to talk “at” each other instead of actually holding a conversation. A good example is when Yoda tells Padme that “seeing (her) alive brings warm feeling to (his) heart” and Padme seemingly has no reaction, instead launching into talking about something else. Another example is when JarJar tells Anakin he’s happy to see him and Anakin launches into his own concerns about Padme. The latter can arguably be considered a character choice but the Yoda example I think is really jarring since we’re supposed to think of Padme as a kind and caring person. I think this is easily solved by cutting Yoda’s line

-I don’t think all the transitions between Anakin and Obi-Wan’s storylines work in this cut. Maybe it’s due to familiarity with the original movie or other edits, but there were a couple of moments where transitions felt jarring.

-I would cut Padme’s line in the family deleted scene “our relationship is strictly professional”. If she just said “Anakin is a…friend” it leaves more ambiguity about their relationship and it makes her quick falling from him feel more gradual and believable.

-When Lama Su gives Obi-Wan numbers of clone units, I think it is playing the reveal too early, and it detracts from the later scenes when we see more and more clones. I would cut out this mention of numbers.

-The goofy cgi villain roundtable when Obi-Wan is spying on Dooku has always bothered me, and I’ve seen other edits cut down each leader pledging their allegiance to the count. Similarly I’ve seen other edits cut Nute Gunray saying he wants Padme’s “head on (his) desk” to just “I want her head”. These are just moments of camp that I think go a little too far. Obviously it’s your decision to make based on taste, but they are little moments of friction with the movie for me.

SpenceEdit said:

I’m reaching out to see if anyone can assist me with a few shots. I’m trying to adjust the end of TPM so that after Jar-Jar releases the large bouncing balls, the Gungan that picks him up on the horse is actually Tarpals. That way, I can bypass the whole silliness of him juggling the bomb and hanging from the tank. However, the Gungan that picks him up is clearly a more yellow hue than Tarpals, who stands out because he’s purple.

I’m not sure what the best method of recoloring this one specific Gungan is, and my experience with effects and masking isn’t great.

So I’m seeing if anybody has any ideas or would otherwise be able to help me with this. I’m not looking for perfection or anything here, as there’s so much movement in the frame and characters that it doesn’t need to be a full replacement. I basically just need the yellow guy to be purple.

Here are the three shots that would need work done to them. Please let me know what you think!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BmiEVRrf2zp6CodxJ5MySVfYj2H7e7Vi/view?usp=drive_link

Here is the sequence as it will appear in the final edit (ignore the audio editing, it’s nowhere near final)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EvmiUrk4p262yXOxjxDLsEsNEr5mb3uD/view?usp=drive_link

Fwiw that’s pretty similar to how I cut it in my edit and somehow nobody has pointed out that it’s not Tarpals. I agree that a color change would help sell it though.

SpenceEdit said:

I’m playing with the idea of removing Darth Maul from every scene after Tattooine until he shows up for the duel. I think it’s kind of a neat idea to sort of forget about him for a while and then those doors open. It makes him showing up a bit more epic. All he does in the other scenes is stand behind Nute Gunray anyway.

Agreed

krlozdac said:

adywan said:

I’m done with ESB:R. I won’t be doing any more work on that

That’s great Ady! Does that mean that alternate audio track with Temuera Morrison’s voice is also done and just waiting to be released?

In the meantime, for anyone interested in this, I made an unofficial alternate audio track with the Temuera Morrison voice lines (with better line delivery taken from various other media) and Obi-Wan calling Yoda “A Jedi Master who instructed me” rather than “The Jedi Master”. These changes were borrowed from Hal9000’s edit. PM me if you want the link.

I apologize that I haven’t gotten the change to watch your workprint yet, but the changelist sounds excellent! My only reservation is that I think it would be much better to cut/down remove the Obi-Wan/Jango fistfight on the landing platform than the asteroid battle sequence. The original “Attack of the Phantom” actually removes both, but I generally find that I miss the space battle more. Just a thought.

I would be interested in taking a look at the workprint.

It definitely feels more visceral! There are a couple cuts that seem to break the 180 degree rule in a way that I found a bit jarring, but that may be inherent to the source. Interesting choice to remove Yoda completely.