Taken- Many action fans have really taken (ahem) to this Luc Besson violence-fest, but I found its xenophobic violence dull and outdated. At least some of Besson’s other vehicles had some gonzo Hong Kong chops to lighten them up. This tale of an ultra-badass who goes Europe to kill a series of evil sex traffickers who’ve kidnapped his virginal daughter (“The French are amazing in bed!”) would play like a DTV vehicle if it weren’t for the higher production values and Liam Neeson’s excellent acting and steely presence, but that’s not enough to elevate it. I just thought once we got out of the 90s, we were done with this kind of thing. And for a Frenchman, Besson doesn’t do the tourist board any favors. Maybe I finally am growing up.
Unknown- Joel Silver, king of action flicks from the golden age, produces another Liam Neeson action vehicle from director Jaume Collet-Serra. It’s twisty plot based upon a novel feels like a pulp paperback airplane reader, but that’s not a terrible thing. Serra’s direction is very glossy and brisk, and there’s a certain fun in watching the admittedly nonsensical plot unfold as the twists and turns a revealed amid the occasional shootouts, car chases, and watching Liam Neeson beat everybody up.
Non-Stop- A rehash of the above with Neeson, Serra, and Silver, Neeson as air marshal solving a sort of locked room mystery up in the clouds. Frankly more interesting doing the Agatha Christie shtick than when it goes into action fireworks in its third act. Though it isn’t based on a novel, this too feels very much like a trashy paperback with a few plot twists. Decent fun while it lasts, though it doesn’t hold up to a lot scrutiny. Shot on Fuji 35mm though. Yay! Celluloid! Enjoy it while it lasts.
The War Wagon- Formulaic but fun Western starring the Duke and Kirk Douglas leading a team trying to heist an armored covered wagon. The kind of high-concept star-powered action-fest which would still be made today, but would be way more bombastic and full of CG. I probably shouldn’t be giving them ideas, but it’s the kind of premise they’d try to use if they were making a western today. Hopefully no one will try to remake it. As it is, it’s lightweight fun which has the sense to be nice and lean. Burt Kennedy’s direction is brisk and fun if unremarkable, the stars do their star stuff, and the title creation is a nifty piece of movie machinery. Entertaining, albeit mostly forgettable.
The Last Boy Scout- Buddy movie shoot’em up from the MTV-era dream-team of Shane Black, Bruce Willis, Joel Silver, and Tony Scott, set against the backdrop of pro football. Trashy, brainless, sarcastic misogynistic, glossy, loud, violent, profane, crass, funny, and action-packed but clumsily cut, it’s a fun relic from a bygone era of the macho action flick’s golden age. Wayans and Willis have fair chemistry, Black’s uncountable one-liners are often funny, and Scott’s flash-and-trash direction points forward toward the even more incomprehensible post-narrative hell of people like Michael Bay. From fans of the era who grew up then, such as I, it’s a fun trip down memory lane, albeit dated as hell after only 15 years. Apparently Black was paid a then-unprecedented amount for the script and it restored Willis’ star status after taking a bad hit in the maligned Hudson Hawk. Not the blockbuster they hoped it’d be, but it became a surprise hit on the then nascent home-video market on VHS. It’s definitely the kind of thing that’d show up panned-and-scanned on cable back in the 1990s. Ah, those were the days.
The Sound of Music- Robert Wise’s classic adaptation of Rogers and Hammerstein’s final collaboration. Waaaaaaaaaaayyyyy too long, but lots of fun. Earnest (some might say cheesy), and shot on gorgeous Todd-AO 70mm with Wise’s precise camera-work and beautiful compositions, and a nice eye for grandeur and the extraordinary detail and color 70mm brings. Andrews and Plummer make a fun and hugely engaging pair, the kids aren’t annoying, and the cinematography never ceases to fill up the eyes, though the film’s thriller-esque detour in its final acting into a tale of escaping Nazi-occupied territory is an odd turn. Good musical numbers have made the film a sing-along cult favorite, and the exuberance is pretty hard to resist.
The Day the Earth Stood Still- Robert Wise’s 1950s sci-fi classic about a spaceman and super-robot who come to warn against nuclear power. A bit dated and didactic (some might say the message is a little crypto-fascist), but also iconic, beautifully shot, and lots of fun. Performances are solid all around, and though some FX are dated, others have held up surprisingly well. Wise’s clean compositions and some gorgeous B&W cinematography make the film a visual treat, while the narrative is nice and tight-remember when an SFX sci-fi film was 90 minutes? Still pretty damn good.
Planet of the Apes- Franklin J. Schaffner’s sci-fi classic about an astronaut who crash-lands on a planet of intelligent apes where humans are mute animals. Certainly dated in places, but time has been surprisingly kind to it in many respects, and the avalanche of franchising merchandise tend overshadow what was an interesting sci-fi film with a fascinating “what-if” premise. Wilson and Serling’s witty screenplay is full of classic lines, and the film’s sucker-punch ending is still one of the finest ever.
Beneath the Planet of the Apes- Even more pulpy sci-fi sequel which leans a bit on Star Trek about a new faction of mutant psychic humans who worship a cobalt bomb capable of destroying the planet (subtle). No necessarily bad, but a comedown after the previous film. Still, Paul Dehn set in motion a big mythology here, and some of the images remain effectively spooky.
Escape from the Planet of the Apes- A fish-out-of-water tale similar to Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home about the apes on modern-day Earth. Much more lighthearted, with some more humorous and campy satire, though some of the darker underpinnings work surprisingly well.
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes- Extremely dark fourth installment in the saga about the apes, tired of being brutalized, choosing to fight back. A thinly veiled allegory for the Watts riots, director Thompson’s grim vision is highly effective and disturbing.
Battle for the Planet of the Apes- I don’t know if it’s because they dumped screenwriter Paul Dehn, Fox slashed the budget to ribbons, or what, but the final installment is decidedly disappointing. Connecting the dots of the franchise mythology with disappointing laziness, it drops the ball after the fantastic last movie, and is tonally inconsistent. Still some fun post-apocalyptic imagery.
Tai-Chi Master- Classic wire-fu from Hong Kong’s golden age with the once-in-lifetime pairing of Jet Li Lian-Jie and Michelle Yeoh Choo-Kheng. They disappointingly never throw down, but both get to engage in some great fisticuffs courtesy of director and choreographer par excellence Yuen Woo Ping, who stages every set piece with great clarity and skill and bone-crunching power. The storyline involves a pair of Shaolin monks, one of whom takes a darker path as an evil warlord and forces Li to become the people’s defender and develop the titular martial art. Occasional slips into slapstick are irritating but handled well and Yuen shows that there’s more to him as a director than just his choreography, and movie was actually shot in mainland China and boasts impressive production values. Dragon Dynasty’s DVD has the picture uncut and in wisescreen, and interesting Logan commentary, and what appear to be decent subtitles, but the so-called “mono” is a crappy 5.1 downmix. Outside of the hard-to-find Tai Seng VHS and maybe some LD releases, no mono to be found. This fandom sucks.
Fong Sai Yuk- After seeing Corey Yuen Kwai’s terrific action choreography in so many mediocre international movies, seeing him actually direct a movie on his home ground in his element is wonderful. A broad, scattershot, occasionally messy but always exciting blend of drama, slapstick comedy, political intrigue, and electrifying action sequences, with Jet Li Lian-Jie as a Cantonese folk hero who winds up battling injustice as part of a secret cult. Beautiful cinematography, action sequences you have see to believe, funny comedy set pieces, and great performances. Those who think Li is too serious should definitely check out his comedic chops here, Josephine Siao Fong-Fong, a longtime industry veteran, is an absolutely delight, and Vincent Zhao Wen-Zhuo is a terrific villain who’s a great physical match for Li. Hong Kong cinema at is absolutely scintillating best. Dragon Dynasty’s DVD is yet another hack job, the censored US cut with a mono Cantonese track spliced over it, and a disappointing transfer. Still probably preferable to the non-anamorphic HK release with a new 5.1 mix full of horrible new FX. Sigh. I hate this fandom. Maybe I spoke French, the HK Video version would be good, but even then you get forced subtitles. FML.
Gladiator- Ridley Scott’s revival sword-and-sandal epic, saw a DCP of this as part of the “classics series” at my local AMC, sandwiched between The Ten Commandments the week before (My ass…so numb…) and Ben-Hur later. Anyway, time has a funny way of putting things into their proper place. The battle scenes, though impressive, would be well-eclipsed by LOTR the following year. Still, some are exciting. I rather like Crowe’s steely presence as the lead character, Oliver Reed’s final performance is good, and Connie Neilsen is very sultry. Scott brings his customary visual flair to the film, and he remains adept at world-building and many stunning, technically impressive, logistically complicated shots. That being said, unfortunately, all of his considerable directorial talent is in the service of a screenplay that’s at best silly and at worst kind of moronic. Riddled with cliches (Seriously? The emperor is going to go toe-to-toe with a military master in the arena? Really?), bad dialogue which signposts things that the audience already knows (“Why are you armed?” “I’m terribly vexed!”), and hilarious historical inaccuracies (Maximus must be good! He does what the “good” emperor says, is a substance farmer, and has a beautiful wife and sun surround by golden wheat, and dies Christ-like for the good Rome! If this isn’t out-and-out fascist, well, it’s certainly ridiculously simplistic.). It’s half Cecil B. DeMille, half George Lucas, tons and tons and tons of grand excess which it thinks is exciting (and probably was in 2000), loaded with spectacle, some of which looks good, some of which is dated. I have a certain soft spot for the old-style adventure it peddles and it’s certainly fun in places, but it’s really uneven and time hasn’t been too kind to it. Incidentally, whether it’s the fault of Scott, Phoenix, or the screenwriter, I don’t know, but his whiny, effeminate character is one of the least effective villains ever-a sniveling idiot with daddy issues who’s every action seems to happen solely because the screenplay says so. It tries to pay lip service to actual political intrigue, but the simplified needs of a blockbuster action movie make that impossible. In the end, you’re left with a classic Hollywood film-raw spectacle, some of it good-looking, married to a stupid screenplay and story. Still, kind of fun, but has a classic identity crisis-it’s a glorified B-movie with pretensions and grandeur that make it think it’s smarter than it is. Though at least unlike The Ten Commandments, it actually ended before I’d lost all feeling in my lower body.
