L8wrtr

mrbenja0618 said:

How are you handling Jango.... To me, he is the biggest issue outside of Dooku flat out telling Obi-Wan about Sidious.

That's a really broad complaint. I've definitely made changes within the scenes that Jango exists, but the problems I fixed with him were in context of the scenes as I saw them as opposed to trying to thematically alter his character (like making Anakin not be a petulant whiner, or Obi-Wan a condescending a-hole)

So:

I cut him talking to Zam, now his first appearance is flying away via jet-pack.

I cut out Boba being a clone. Now he's just his son.

I trimmed the conversation with Obi-Wan, cutting out the terrible bits of dialog (I'm just a simple man...)

Fight on the landing platform follows Phantom Editor's edit.

Asteroid chase is kept but trimmed.

The Reek is no longer involved in his demise.

Hello all. A year ago I released Episode I: Shadow of the Sith, now nearly a year later I have finally completed Episode II.
 

Here are the details as listed at fanedit.org and can be found at fanedit.info

As with Shadow of the Sith my goal with The Republic Divided is to trim out the inexplicable story elements, improve the quality of the characters by relieving them of annoying and/or frustration dialog, and in general, improving the tone and pace of the film. When all of this clutter is removed, a respectable movie emerges, with Palpatine quietly setting all the pieces for his master-stroke which unfolds in Episode III.

Final run time, including final credits is 96 minutes, which is coincidentally the same run time as Shadow of the Sith
 

EDITING DETAILS:

Similar to Shadow of the Sith, my goal was to:?- Drastically improve the many flawed characters as much as possible.?- Drastically improve the overall tone and pacing of the film?- Simplify the convoluted mystery plot.

The areas that I focused on for major improvements are:

Friendship: We all know that Anakin and Obi-Wan are supposed to be “good friends” so it was quite disjointing to see Obi-Wan be a dick to Anakin throughout the movie, as well as Anakin be a petulant, ungrateful whiner. By cutting out the mutual antagonism we are left with two characters we can believe are friends. The audience wants them to be friends, and by eliminating the obstacles to that, we now can simply accept that we are watching two friends on screen.

We need a Hero: From the first frame, grown up Anakin is annoying. He’s timid and unsure one moment, disrespectful and bitchy the next. Audiences react so negatively to these extreme personality traits that the moments where Ankin is likable or heroic are lost. By carving out his creepy leering at Padme, his whining, and his unexplained outbursts of anger, what remains are glimpses of the hero we want to like and root for, at least as much as can be salvaged with the footage we have at our disposal.

A Love Story: People bash Lucas for the stilted dialog, and this is a fair criticism, however I can forgive that because it is par for the course in the Saga of Star Wars. What is perplexing is how he chose to have them resist their emotions. We all know that they will end up together so the ruse of them resisting is at best distracting, but worse it impedes the progression of the actual story. In addition to eliminating their resistance, it is key to also remove Lucas’ attempt to show how/why they fall in love. He forgot his own brilliant solution to how to tell a love story back from The Empire Strikes Back; don’t show it. We never see why Han and Leia fall in love, we simply have two characters we like who over the course of several scenes admit their love for each other. Fixing Anakin and cutting out the more on-the-nose aspects of the story results in a love story that is far more believable.

Action, Action, Action!: Again like Shadow of the Sith I focused on improving the pacing, particularly in the action sequences. The opening speeder chase is easily cut in half, similar toAttack of the Phantom most of the Obi-Wan/Jango fist fight is gone, and the asteroid chase benefits from a few nips and tucks. But more importantly, the Droid Factory Rescue is majorly reconstructed to eliminate not only C-3PO’s antics, but flying R2-D2 and Anakin getting trapped in the machinery. The battle of Geonosis is heavily redacted because quite simply, it doesn’t matter. It is robots fighting clones. No character that we are invested in is in danger so the sequence just eats up time. Lastly, the confrontation between Dooku and Yoda loses the saber bit. They fight with the Force only.

Dialog:_ Also, like Shadow of the Sith Most scenes have some modification which eliminate redundant and/or obvious exposition as well as poorly written and/or delivered dialog. Six scenes were so useless and/or poorly written that they were removed entirely.

Simplify: The Obi-Wan Kenobi mystery hunt reveals a great many questions, most of which not only go unanswered in Episode II, but Episode III as well. Because there is no payoff for the great mysteries of his search, the convoluted plot points are truly useless. I have simplified Obi-Wan’s search for Padme’s assassin so that the story can move swiftly, cleanly and also saving Kenobi for being revealed to have an intellect less than that of a 5 year old Padawan. Relieved of this contrived plotline, the story now moves more cleanly. The illogic of the Jedi accepting the mysterious Clone Army remains, it’s an unavoidable WTF moment, but the rest of the non-sequiturs are removed or toned down.
 

Cut list:

This is a general list of cuts, order may be slightly off and many are not listed (over 250 edits in total)

New Title and Crawl establishing Count Dooku as the leader of a Separatist movement threatening Civil War.

Cut announcing Coruscant inside the Naboo Cruiser

Cut ‘We made it’ dialog

Cut Cordé’s dying words

Cut 1st half of dialog in Chancellor’s office about their not being enough Jedi and the Dark Side clouding everything.

Trim dialog throughout the Chancellor’s office

Trim dialog inside elevator?- Cut most of Jar Jar introducing the Jedi

Trim dialog throughout meeting with Padme, including creepy lines about being beautiful, antagonism between Anakin and Obi-Wan, and Anakin’s whining afterwards

Cut Jango giving Zam poisonous bugs?- Trim dialog between Anakin and Obi-Wan while bugs are making their way to Padme

Trim speeder chase in half, Anakin no longer loses his saber

Cut most dialog outside of nightclub (resolves saber issue, plus more antagonism between Obi-Wan and Anakin)?- Trimmed nightclub sequence, eliminate Anakin POV shot, gratuitous cameo shots.

Toned down Anakin’s anger while interrogating Zam?- Removed Obi-Wan’s Ric Olié moment “Toxic dart”?- Removed contradictory Yoda line about Padme having to listen to them.

Cut the entire sequence from Padme giving authority to Jar Jar and Anakin and Padme’s conversation as she packs.?- Cut the entire conversation in skybus between Padme and Dorme.

Cut ‘we’ve got R2′ joke?- Cut entire Diner sequence and Library sequence?- Insert portion of deleted landing platform scene?- Trim dialog between Padme and Anakin on refugee transport

Cut entire Yoda/youngling scene?- Cut entire sequence of Anakin and Padme arriving on Naboo and seeing the new Queen?- Insert deleted scene of dinner at Padme’s (with dialog trims)

Cut Obi-Wan dialog about their missing planet Kamino?- Re-cut Kenobi’s visit on Kamino to support new sequence of Anakin/Padme scenes on Naboo.

Trimmed conversation with Prime Minister so as to not have Obi-Wan completely give away that he has no clue what is going on.

Trimmed confrontation between Jango and Kenobi. No more “I’m just a simple man…”?- Trimmed Obi-Wan’s report to Windu and Yoda, and cut out their discussion after they dismiss Kenobi?- Trim out most of the Jango/Kenobi fist fight.

Trim the various scenes between Anakin and Padme to remove both the forced nature of the story-line, as well as their resistance. Also cut the giant tick-cows and of course the conversation at the fireplace (though the opening footage is still used with a new purpose

Cut creepy shot of Anakin having his nightmare.

Lightly trim conversation on balcony about his nightmare

Trim chase through Asteroid belt?

Trim conversation between Wato and Anakin

Trim conversation between Anakin and 3PO, and Anakin and Owen

Trim conversation between Anakin and Shmi as she dies?- Cut out ridiculous cartoon voices of varios Separatists as Obi-Wan listens in (nearly cut for cut of Attack of the Phantom)

Trimmed Yoda and Windu’s conversation about Skywalker in pain?- Trim/restructure Dooku’s interrogation of Kenobi (cut out Darth title)

Massively restructure Anakin’s break-down in the Lars homestead garage?- Cut R2 receiving message from Kenobi

Trimmed funeral sequence to focus on Anakin and remove over-the-top dialog/delivery?- Cut Padme’s “R2? What are you doing here?”?- Trim conversation in Chancellor’s office to remove ‘If only Senator Amidala were here…”

Massively restructure Droid Factory sequence. No flying R2. No 3PO. No trapped Anakin

Reinsert scene of Padme demanding Kenobi be set free.

Restructure pre-arena conversation between Anakin and Padme

HEAVILY recut arena battle, too much to list.

HEAVILY recut Battle of Geonosis, including entire removal of Geonosian War room

Cut Nute Gunray leaving from the same hangar bay as Dooku

Trimmed conversation between Kenobi and Dooku

Trimmed lightsaber battle between Dooku and Anakin

Trimmed duel between Dooku and Yoda, including the saber duel (HUGE thank you to BobGarcia for providing special effects shot which removes Dooku’s saber as he runs up the gantry)

Hey RedFive

The Duel of the Fates ending is actually my preferred version. If I return to the edit (which I'm considering in light of my working on Episodes 2 and 3 right now) I would swap it so that Duel of the Fates the 'Standard' ending, and then the traditional SW Theme 'crash' ending the alternate version. 

Hi Kurt,

I hope you do download and enjoy it. Regarding 3PO, it is a tough call. Outside of small appearances during the Pod Race, I agree that he could likely be cut out with minimal impact on the story. I personally think it gets tricker in Episode II as he becomes more integral to the story, but again with some hard work it could be achieved.

I wouldn't hold it against any editor that does this, and if I'm not mistaken Ady has gone on record that when he gets to the PT, his plan is to do exactly as you're outlining.

But with fanediting everything comes down to the taste of the editor. Personally I'm of the generation that grew up as Star Wars came out, and I distinctly recall reading how the entire Saga was to be told through the eyes of R2 and 3PO, that they were the unwitting witnesses to the most important events of a galaxy far far away, and so my expectation of the PT has always been to see them involved.

Sadly the droids' involvement is admittedly shoe-horned into the story and not nearly as satisfying as it is in Episodes 4 and 5, but even still, they don't actually bother me, even though they lack the usefulness they deserved. 

I certainly have cut out a bit of 3PO in Episode I so his role is reduced. I'm currently working on Episodes II and III,  and my workprint for Episode II again cuts out the vast majority of his role (Droid Factory/Arena George? Really?), but 3PO is staying. What can I say, I have a soft spot for the prissy protocol droid. Call it editor's indulgence :)

Anyhow, I hope you'll still enjoy the edit Kurt, E1 was my first edit and will always be dear in my heart as it was a labor of love to salvage something enjoyable out of something that was such a let-down.

Hey Taolar.

Thank you for the kind words and understanding, were our situations reversed I'd feel the same. But even still, I felt it an appropriate response once I learned of the overlap, it is simple courtesy in my mind. Bonus is I now get to keep tabs on your progress and will be sure to look out for your edit when complete.

So, enough hijacking your thread, I'm sure everyone would rather read about your progress!

-L8wrtr

Hello there Taolar.

I'm an Admin over at FE and the editor responsible for the Son of Jor-El fanedit recently released at fanedit.org (http://fanedit.org/12931/) and I was just made aware of this thread over here at OT

I just wanted to apologize for any unintended confusion regarding Jelio and mine's edit and yours. I've not been a member at OT for terribly long and sadly as an Admin at FE, I've not had free time to be an active member here and was not aware of your edit.

In a brief review of your thread here, it appears that our edits, while holding the same goal of uniting Superman 1 and 2 and bringing the relationship of Jor-El and Kal-El more to the forefront, our edits appear to be drastically different; if I read the thread correctly it appears you have left a far greater amount of Superman I which really creates a very different movie than ours, plus overall, your approach seems to be more epic in nature, in line of Adywan's approach. Our edit has no color or other visual modifications and should safely stand as a very different take on the same concept. 

Anyhow, I just wanted to again offer an olive branch to you and the fans who've been following your edit for any confusion due to naming of our edit vs yours, and I look forward to seeing your final product!

Up Up and Away.

Erikstormtrooper said:

When my 7-yo son asks to watch the Phantom Menace, this is the version I will put on for him. Thanks!

That is about as high a compliment as can be delivered for me! I'm glad you enjoyed it. 

perhaps I slid the audio somehow? It was recorded independently of the main audio so that I could mix it independently. My apologies if that was distracting. If I have the stomach for it, I may re-do this when the BD comes out in which case I can fix it there (I'll likely just re-record the commentary)

Anyhow, I'm very glad to hear that you enjoyed this so much!

kilik64 said:

ive watched part of this, need to watch the rest, but so far its great, cuts out a lot of the fluff, thanks for the work!

got the encoded version, gonna try and get the dvd (its a pain to get for some reason)

ill edit this post when i get a chance to finish watching it!

Thanks! I'm glad you've enjoyed what you've watched so far. Sorry that you're having issues with the DVD. It seems that MU always has one file that gives people a hard time. I hope you enjoy the rest of the edit!

TV's Frink said:

L8wrtr said:

General cut list (well over 200 total cuts, so individual cuts not listed)

Lazy? ;-)

For anyone who missed it, I've already posted the full cutlist script, just follow the link in my sig.

I wouldn't want to steal your thunder;)

Hello OT!

I have a Fan Edit of Episode 1 that is now listed over at FE. TV’s Frink has encouraged me to become an active member of the OT community. I figure posting a Fan Edit would be a good start.

This is my first fan edit and it was quite a labor of patience and love. It was first and foremost made for what I want to see in the Star Wars Prequels, but it is my hope that it is enjoyable by anyone that loves Star Wars.

This is a very aggressive edit. I have reduced the running time to a very lean 96 minutes so that the story, which originally lacked urgency in any regard, now moves along at a pace that is appropriate for characters in this situation… well, at least as much as can be achieved with the dialog available!

I also contacted Adywan and received his permission to use his color corrected version of TPM to correct the god-awful hues that permeate the DVD release, his work is particularly pleasing on Tatooine, but also in the Naboo and during the final battle in space. Sadly the deleted scenes do not benefit from his color work and I engaged the assistance of a fellow editor to assist with those and then made further adjustments as best I could. The Greedo scene adjusts fairly well, but the overall quality of the Probe Droid scene is terrible to start with and I’ll admit up-front, it does stand out. 
 

With this edit I set out to accomplish three primary goals

1. Drastically improve the many flawed characters as much as possible.
2. Drastically improve the overall tone and pacing of the film
3. Restructure the narrative so that Anakin Skywalker is the true hero of the film

*Please note that this edit does NOT remove the Virgin Birth/Prophecy aspects of the movie. It is my intention to edit the entire PT and try to highlight the idea that Lord Plagueis caused Anakin to be conceived by the force.

MU links available at fanedit.info
 

Major Areas addressed

Gungans

Boss Nass:  My goal with Boss Nass and the Gungans in general was to make them more ominous by removing as much of their terrible dialog, slobbering, howling and shaking of lips as possible. They are now presetned as distrustful of outsiders, but not incompetent and it is now believable that they have attained the level of technical sophistication that they are presented with.

The Jedi and Jar Jar Binks are in trouble and  to be punished for bringing outsiders into Otah City rather than returning from banishment (a subplot that has been removed). The Jedi escape punishment for trespassing by using Mind Tricks, which causes surprise by the guards as they are certain the outsiders will be punished.

Jar Jar Binks: Everybody’s favorite Gungan has been heavily edited to remove nearly ALL of his annoying screen presence. I have removed all of his toilet humor and almost all of his physical comedy without removing the critical plot points. Jar Jar now melts into the background, bound to Qui-Gon by his life-debt. He now quietly follows the Qui-gon and now no longer inserts himself into every scene possible. I have completely removed the sub-plot of him being clumsy and a bumbling idiot.

Neimoidians

As much as possible I sought to reduce their cowardice. While it cannot be completely eliminated, they now active participants in Palpatine’s plot. While we still never find out what they have to gain by aligning with him, it doesn’t matter. Because they now behave in a manner that appears to have unspoken motivation we don’t have to care about why; they have made a deal with a Sith Lord who somehow can manipulate the Senate to their advantage. Whatever they each get from the bargain is immaterial to the story as long as the relationship is convincing and consistent.

Anakin Skywalker

First and foremost I have removed as much of the yippee and woohoo’s as possible, or at least where they were colloquial. When appropriate to an action he is doing or has done, I have left some in. But more importantly I wanted to present him as a person of action, being decisive rather than an accidental hero. This is particularly important in Act 3.

Act 3

I have re-cut the flow of events to now make Anakin the hero of the story, which was one of the biggest flaws of the original. His victory against the Droid Control Ship is hollow since the Queen has captured the Viceroy. Once she captures him, all other story-lines become pointless. Anakin is now an active and purposeful hero who no longer accidentally enters the battle, nor apologetically destroys the Control Ship. The Gungan battle is aggressively edited to remove all ridiculous Jar Jar moments, it is brief and to the point an no longer weighs down Act 3.

Action Action Action!

The pacing is improved by getting to the point ASAP. Sequences which add nothing to the story are either cut entirely (Planet Core) or heavily reduced (Pod Race).Almost every scene has some modification to it in order to eliminate redundant and/or obvious exposition, as well as poorly written and/or delivered dialog. The only two scenes that are untouched are those between Padme and Palpatine. Scenes of particular note:

• Dinner sequence
• Pod Race
• Anakin’s freedom/good-bye to his mother

General cut list (well over 200 total cuts, so individual cuts not listed)

• New Title/Crawl
• Eliminate Neimoidian cowardliness/uncertainty
• Eliminate Jar Jar’s clumsiness and antics - 99% removed, if you hate Jar Jar, this is your edit.</span>
• Eliminate midichlorians entirely
• Eliminate title of Darth (long-term goal for entire PT is to restore Darth as the name of Vader, not a generic Sith Title)
• Remove Obi-Wan’s nonsense about symbiotic relationship between Gungans and the Naboo.
• Cut Planet Core sequences
• Eliminate entire sequence of Fake Queen being apprised of how the ship was saved, R2’s introduction, ordering the real queen to clean R2, the argument between Panaka and Qui-Gon about Tatooine, and then Jar Jar’s recap of the entire movie to Padme.
• Cut Watto’s declaration of immunity to Mind Tricks due to his species
• Reinsert portion of Deleted Scene where Anakin Fights Greedo; this replaces the Sebulba/Jar Jar fight and is now how Anakin joins their group/invites them to his place (Phantom Editor idea)
• Recut Dinner sequence to be focused, remove bad dialog
• Cut Anakin’s friends swarming around him as he works on the Pod Racer
• Cut out Jabba
• Eliminate Hill-Billy Sand People from Pod Race (despite value of humor, they detract from tension of the race for a quick joke, plus, their place as a truly deadly/threatening race that helps push Anakin to the Dark Side is cheapened when they become the butt of a joke)
• Eliminate all silly aspects of the Pod Race (Bob the Builder announcer, long introductions to characters we don’t care about, silly interplay between Sebulba and various racers as he takes them out
• Eliminate Qui-gon preaching Lucas’ morals to Watto in the viewers box after the race
• Recut sequence where Anakin learns he is free, more serious and touching
• Eliminate C-3PO POV sequence
• Recut Anakin’s goodbye to his mother, more emotional, less certain, plus eliminate line about returning to free slaves, no payoff, points to an Ep2 plot point that never materializes
• Reinsert portion of the Deleted Scene where Qui-gon cuts the Sith Probe Droid and they run off (very poor quality, apologies in advance!!)
• Reduce Ric Olie’s observationgs
• Eliminate Nute Gunray taunting Sio Bibble from his walking throne
• Eliminate Anakin looking for Padme to say goodbye
• Eliminate terrible pick-up scene with fat-faced Obi-Wan apologizing to Qui-Gon while they wait for Jar Jar to return from Otah City.
• Recut entire 3rd act to improve pacing and make Anakin the hero
• Eliminate the ascension gun sequence during the assault on the palace
• <span style="font-size: 12px; ">Cut Disney Main-Street Parade ending

 
Available as:

Dual Layer NTSC DVD with:

• 5.1 Audio
• Chapter selections
• Commentary Track (2.0 Audio)
• Deleted Scene (and explanation title cards)
• Alternate musical ending - Duel of the Fates instead of traditional Star Wars ‘Crash’ for closing credits. (5.1)
   

Single Layer NTSC DVD with:

• 5.1 Audio
• Chapter Selectiosn
• Commentary Track (2.0 Audio)

MP4

*No alien language subtitles.