Jar Jar Bricks

Woah… everything sounds so amazing now. Thanks for taking our feedback, Hal!

Here are a bunch of Kylo Ren line options:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xVd2wK7Qpes6ulfY8QOCsnBl6FOF7M_5?usp=sharing

My personal picks are as follows (although I haven’t actually tested them out together to see how they fit):

youwereright#2
paidforprotection#3
oneway#4

Hal 9000 said:

Thanks for the feedback so far, and I’ll attend to the audio levels for those lines. What do you think of the youngling ghost line now?

Also, I had thought you didn’t want to use that Exegol line, JJB. I don’t have a problem with it, so I’ll replace it with the one you generated.

I commented on the youngling line in my last post, just under Sors Bandeam. Like I said, it’s certainly improved, but still stands out to a keen ear. At this point, it’s an argument of whether we’re willing to look over the audio quality for the novelty of it, which is certainly a factor.

The line I actually had a problem with was “We’ll always be with you”, for similar reasons to the above. It just sounded like it was recorded with a low quality microphone. The AI lines which are based on the film’s audio seem to avoid this issue for the most part.

DZ-330 said:

• C-3PO’s joke… as much as I love the AI reading that we have. It does seem a little odd for him to think he is a spy RIGHT AFTER Hux is admitting that he is the spy. Maybe it can be changed to something like:
  – Troop: “Who are you?!”
  – 3PO: “Perhaps you could tell me!”
  –Troop: “Then why are you… what?”

That indeed might be a little fourth wall breaking, but it does make sense within the context of the scene itself, isolated from everything else that’s going on. They’re sneaking on board a massive ship, after all. It also lines up the best with his following line: “My first laser battle!” which is consistent with him being caught up in the idea that he’s some sort of amazing droid skilled in espionage and marksmanship. I probably wouldn’t have a problem with your line, but I do think it’s a little less funny. I’ll definitely go with whatever Hal prefers in this case.

Here is my feedback for the Ahch-To scene. I’ll check the rest out later and update this post or make a new one:

• “Leia sensed it during your training” sounds too quiet compared to the other lines around it. Interestingly enough, the next AI line sounds loud enough, perhaps even a bit too loud.
• The new lines in the flashback scene are also too quiet. I’d also lessen the gap between “Despite losing everything, and everyone… Leia always chose compassion over hatred.” I think it’s okay to shift this silence over to the opposite side.
• “You’ll take both sabers to Exegol” has not been replaced with “Let Leia’s legacy guide you on Exegol”

Other misc. stuff:

• Leia’s “Come home” could probably be shifted left just a tad, so she says that first, there’s a beat, and then you see Han’s medal instead of in rapid succession
• Kylo’s “You were right” is clearly using my really old AI model based on his Lego lines (instead of the film lines) and stands out. We should replace this. And probably also replace his lines about her parents paying for her protection. I will work on this tomorrow morning.
• Sors Bandeem sounds a bit better, but if you have headphones on you can tell that the microphone quality has that background noise static and is not up to snuff with the other voices. It helps that it’s a more limited cameo, though.
• 3PO sounds amazing! Zorri fits in a lot better than I thought, as well.

Hal 9000 said:

I think the line I have is, “Ever since Skywalker, people have been fighting back. And dying.”

But yes, I don’t wish to try to alter Poe’s backstory. But it’s cool to have the option and anyone else is free to.

And I’m not phased by the lack of modulation for the first line of a scene. 😉

This is the last set of lines I made:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1tiDKw2bx3SstVF2k7Sr_Q4eaccAoXCwd?usp=drive_link

I’m not sure when I would have made the one you’re referencing, but I do remember it. I think it’s from 2023. The only reason I recommend this other line is because if people are truly fighting back together, then Poe looks extremely stupid to later say that he doesn’t think people are going to come together just like what happened with Crait. However, if Zorri specifies that people are rebelling, but not as one (they’re selfish, at least on Kijimi), then it makes a lot more sense. So Zorri saying “I don’t believe you believe that” is moreso an argument that there are good people like them out there who will fight the good fight instead of taking advantage of some instability.

I believe that Hal decided to use the following exchange I made:

Poe (unaltered): How long has it been like this?
Zorri: Ever since Skywalker. But everyone’s only out for themselves. (Unaltered from here) I’ve saved up enough to get out…

The trouble is that, while it sounds exactly like the actress for Zorri, the voice modulation effect wasn’t quite captured by the AI. So the scene should sound pretty good, but you’ll probably be able to notice the voice modulation being gone for the wide shot and then suddenly returning for the close-up.

So if anybody has a good idea of how they did the voice modulation for Zorri’s helmet that would be very helpful for v5.

Tbh I felt the same way. I seem to remember there was an initial release of the edit which mistakenly only gave him a single, relatively quiet line before that was corrected for a full release. Maybe we should revert to that?

Yeah I like DZ’s modification. While the Republic certainly is unprepared for another war, they definitely have a capable fleet which plays a minor role in this edit. I think characterizing it as inaction due to the democratic process is fitting. It does mirror Episode 1 nicely, except this time countless worlds are being impacted and not just Naboo.

Yeah I just realized that there’s really no way for Kylo to feasibly tell Rey anything about the dagger while they’re fighting, because if he notices that she’s holding it then he instantly should know that she is on his Destroyer. And we know he disengages their conversation as soon as he knows where she is later on by noticing Vader’s mask. So it wouldn’t make too much sense for them to carry on as soon as he notices the dagger. Or, at the very least, to be surprised by saying: “So that’s where you are…”

I’m not sure that this idea would work beyond what Hal already suggested (reinstating that line). But I think a large part of the reason why people wanted that line removed is because she says it while simultaneously holding the Youngling Slayer 9000. Thing is, we already got a scary vision for that saber in TFA. Ya know, when she first held it! That’s how psychometry is supposed to work. In other words, I don’t think there’s any problem with the line. This is actually something TROS got right, and anybody who criticizes it is just nitpicking IMO.

Thanks, Darth!

Just briefly glancing at that script I don’t believe it’s real. The fact that the crawl mentions what Kylo is doing in the last paragraph with ellipses but then doesn’t start with him breaks conventional Star Wars standards. There are also too many things in it that retroactively wouldn’t make sense to have been removed later on. Like evil, vision Rey being described as having Sith eyes, but that not showing up in the final cut of TROS. And of course Finn’s Force-sensitivity, which feels half-baked and implemented at the last second with release TROS. It would be malicious to have removed this much content from his arc in a later draft.

So while I really liked the delivery of that line, it got cut short every so slightly at the end because of the AI being derpy. It’s been bugging me every time I listen to it. So I’ve gone through a bunch more generations and found a non-derped line that sounds pretty similar.

I’ve updated the links above but I’m not gonna bother posting them again lol.

I’ve updated the links. I think what was missing to really sell it is a line delivery that matches Luke’s energy of “Because you’re a Palpatine. So what. Big whoop-dee-doo.”

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jOf6lLQ7hylHb-R2GXiEen0ZcTXJyjB1/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1A6_l9ha36FIY5YT6_ggrOwX79GFo2r1Q?usp=sharing

But if this doesn’t sound right still I’ll probably just generate a bunch of options and put them in here for people to vote on. Granted, that can be hard to do without listening to his prerequisite line first.

And here is the first scene:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ix3Om_xYh5MBhRsVhYEmSuDdE2kld4qX/view?usp=sharing

Separate folder to keep things neat:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1A6_l9ha36FIY5YT6_ggrOwX79GFo2r1Q?usp=sharing

Alrighty, I’ve got the flashback 100% there, I think! I ended up having to split the final line into 2 in order to get the AI to go where I wanted it to:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wNiIIYvevrXzwFxSUfqCdBghFMAxDyKB/view?usp=sharing

Here are all the raw lines:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1jLefM5fhd6o7prut9O2Uumv6CGvs2RqF?usp=sharing

I’ll get to the final lesson line next. Only reason I didn’t do all this in one go is because I like to test these things by putting them into the scenes and I don’t have a saved project file for that specific line, yet.

Yeah, that along with a new generation for the compassion over hatred line is next on my list. Otherwise we should be good for this scene!

The most obvious solution is: “It was fear that led me here”. That way his fear was not actively keeping him there. And it’s more relatable to Rey since she only just arrived, as well. Unless there’s something wrong with that wording?

Alternatively, we could hone in on his fear of Ben/Kylo, but I’m not sure how to word that while matching your other criteria.

If neither of those work for you, then I’ll just add this to the list for my other thread so we can focus back on the other important stuff.

Yeah, that would probably work better. I mostly didn’t realize how big of a space there is to be filled there. But it’s definitely doable in a seamless way.

Hal 9000 said:

I don’t feel a need to tinker with “it was fear that kept me here” as it’s a natural lead-in to the point Luke wants to make. Even if we quibble about TLJ, it’s not untrue that fear was part of the equation for him.

I also believed this exact same thing a few months ago, so I totally get where you’re coming from. I hate to push back, but I’d bet there are plenty of people who think this is more of a serious continuity issue than Kylo claiming he told Rey her parents were nobody.

Here is a quote from Rian Johnson:

“The first thing I had to do when I was writing the script was figure out, okay, why is Luke on this island? … So, he knows his friends are fighting this good fight, he knows there’s peril out there in the galaxy, and he’s exiled himself way out here and taken himself out of it. So I had to figure out why. And I knew because its Luke Skywalker, who I grew up with as a hero, I knew the answer couldn’t be cowardice. I knew the answer had to be something active. He couldn’t just be hiding, and I knew it had to be something positive. He thinks he’s doing the right thing.

And that kind of led to the notion that he’s come to the conclusion from all the given evidence that the Jedi are not helping. They’re just perpetuating this kind of cycle, and that they need to go away so that the light can kind of rise from a more worthy source. And so suddenly then, that turned his exile from something where he’s hiding and avoiding responsibility, to him kind of taking the weight of the world on his shoulders and bearing this huge burden of knowing his friends are suffering. And because he thinks it’s a better, bigger thing for the galaxy, he’s choosing not to engage with it.”

The problem with the line in TROS is not that it mentions fear, but that it suggests that was the entire equation, and not merely a factor, to use the same analogy as you. “It was fear that kept me here”. See how it simplifies everything to an extreme degree? Really, not also that you thought the Jedi would only add to the problems of the galaxy? He’s basically admitting that everything he argued for in TLJ was entirely motivated by fear and shouldn’t be considered or remedied.

What I really think you should consider doing, is making it clear that Luke had his own fears, but they were not preventing him from leaving the island. That’s the definition of cowardice. He has to genuinely believe what he was saying in TLJ, but recognize that it was rooted in his aversion to failure.

For what it’s worth, I showed the first clip to somebody the other day who isn’t involved in this stuff and he couldn’t tell there was anything changed about it. Again, I’d rather not push for this, but it lines up with several other changes made for continuity with TLJ and I also think it’s something people will bring up in the future. Especially since we want this to be the final version, it’s worth considering more heavily, I feel.

I’ve spent a while today perfecting the lines for the flashback and I’m really satisfied with them at this point. There’s plenty of room for Hal to shift them around if he wants.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1erftdEgpBXgur2XIdD7AVQfNSqFCW1-w/view?usp=sharing

I wasn’t able to include the line of “Let Leia’s legacy guide you on Exegol” due to the fact that I don’t have all the proper materials here. But I think a good way to gauge how this is going is to watch my test from last night first and then watch this one.

That is also up to Hal. I think to really sell such a thing it would have to be clear he’s speaking to her in her head like on Exegol and not from 30 feet away. So maybe some sort of voice modulation effect that’s kinda echoey.

I’d say that’s a good idea. My original goal here was to do it like Hal with two separate clips for the two scenes. Mostly because I have to use the original movie for the first scene due to Ascendant deleting all the necessary stuff. But Hal can probably do this.

Thing is, he hasn’t even confirmed if replacing the line about fear keeping Luke on Ahch-To is something he’s even interested in. If it isn’t, then the only AI line in the first scene at all will be the one about Leia sensing Rey’s heritage. Which really isn’t too significant.

That being said, I suppose it would be pretty cool to see what the feel of the entire Ahch-To sequence will be like when all is said and done.

Well, the weather ruined my plans for tonight so I’m back at it with a test of the first scene:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iRZ11y9vo9utoC7GwkTSROIXGifGEu3m/view?usp=sharing

To be clear, “What’re you most afraid of?” also had to be changed because Mark’s original delivery doesn’t emphasize “you” enough. Also, my intention is to exclude the “Final lesson” line from v4 because I personally think congruency with TLJ takes priority over a fan-servicey line that references TLJ. I also just prefer the more personable “Rey… some things are stronger than blood.”

Yeah, I’ll go with that. I was originally gonna go with it but I second-guessed myself thinking it needed to be more clear.

I just lost access to my computer for the rest of the day but rest assured I’ll be spending a lot more time on this tomorrow.

I agree. I initially generated probably like 25+ options, all using a prompt that had that word in all caps (which works with any other sentence for emphasis). I don’t think any of them properly emphasized that word. I’m thinking it’s having a hard time because it’s a possessive word, so I’m gonna try removing the apostrophe to see if that helps. I’ll keep generating more options until I get something closer.

EDIT: Hell, that did it almost immediately. I’m mad at myself for not trying that earlier. Here are a few options:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cjwQn5RGnGPJPB6kCxaVAOzSl1GeByWz/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LOuLK8JyRcGUFaQtXz1mMcigssGxVhgK/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lb3OoOpoyghXaSD5n3WamISFLDwg1sUQ/view?usp=sharing

Here is the one I prefer in the full string:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/18DM5RYEqfEQST5MTaerHVkEsfS1CDr3f/view?usp=sharing