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FrankT

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6-Dec-2013
Last activity
7-Aug-2025
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Post
#697858
Topic
General Star Wars <strong>Random Thoughts</strong> Thread
Time

Verbatim from an Amazon.com review:

Alfonso Dupont said:

We true insiders know that the original Star Wars movies were made at a time of turmoil in Hollywood, when mob assassinations and drug-fueled orgies were a fact of life on every film set. It is believed that it was at a swinger party where Marcia Lucas was successfully wooed from her Jedi Knight husband by a shadowy plumber. The ugly divorce almost drove George insane, and only by immersing himself in the world of puppet Salacious B. Crumb--even at one point claiming he would play the character himself--was George able to weather this turbulant period.

This was of course followed by what film historians now know as the "sham years", when George Lucas dated several famous women in public (and even once gave his penile size in an interview), but in private drifted into homosexual experimentation. Part of this is hinted at in the George Lucas Usenet Archive, a collection of George's posts to an Internet forum of some kind, written during the making of his "prequel trilogy".

Many film historians have heard the stories of what went on behind and in front of the camera, including impromptu sex scenes that were removed from the final edits and a bloody quarrel between Mark Hamill and Sir Alec Guinness that involved accusations of rape. Oftentimes a cover story was used to explain why certain footage had "disappeared"--for example, at the top of the frame in the original Jabba scene was visible both a bobbing boom mike and a crew member's bobbing, fleshy organ. This was later explained as the scene being cut because of difficult special effects.

If this is all true, I am terrified!

Post
#696879
Topic
Worst Edit Ideas
Time

In fact, given the opportunity, I would! But I don't think I have either the disk space or a sufficient amount of ideas. Probably not enough processor power either. It took at least an hour and a half to convert the trilogy alone into something I can work with in Premiere, and several minutes in a non-responsive state for each film to conform into it!

Post
#696434
Topic
Worst Edit Ideas
Time

Well that’s nice to hear. But you know what else is kind of cool? …fat people! ;D …because I’m completely insane!

Same old Obi-gcchkkkaahhk

Sly Snooties’ animated fat now looks comical when it jiggles.

And then she sucks in the film through her lips.

Speaking of which, her band now plays “Never Gonna Give You Up”. At least we admit that the film is Rickrolling the audience!

The Queen now hires Enderman as her double.

I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST SCREAM

AHHHHHHH-SAFAN-YAAAAAAAA-HEFALIIINSAFA (or whatever it was - it’s been years since I saw The Lion King…)

C-3PO is now a double agent for the Trade Federation.

Actually this'd be more believable.

After the battle of Naboob, he is sent to Tatooine where he’s painted green.

This... not so much.

As a result of colour timing, there is now a subliminal advert for lightsaber duel playsets.

A bit more Hamill-kin, because this one looks hilarious.

AHHHHHHHHH

Kamino is now home to lens flare overkill, making it look that bit more like the JJprise.

I think there's some irony here.

A meta-crisis takes place when Hamill-kin and George go to the opera house to watch Star Wars on a 20x40’ screen. And it still looks like a waxwork museum!

Waxworks being a common theme in this alternate special edition.

Airbrush the lines from whatshisname’s face.

Seriously, I have no clue what his name is.

When the escape pod is launched, the officer says “Go ahead and fire.” And what happens!?

KRAKOW

FOOOOM

And yet the movie continues as if they missed (they probably did).

Old Ben gets that pipe the script promised him.

He silently puffs on a tarnished chrome water pipe. ....wait, that's not chrome.

In Mos Eisley, rontos block the screen entirely at various intervals.

GET OUTTA THE WAY, WE'RE WATCHING A MOVIE HERE

Han actually runs into Darth Vader in the corridors!

I've been waiting for you, Obi-Han.

We see Tarkin begin to transport off the Death Star just as it explodes, guaranteeing some unknown sequel in the future.

And that meteorite on Hoth? It’s actually a Martian capsule.

At dawn, a falling star with a trail of green mist landed with a flash like summer lightning.

Next day there was a huge crater in the middle of the Common...

Which leads into a less than subtle nod to the machines that the AT-ATs descended from (thanks to Mr. Grote for the model)

Quickly, one after the other, five of the Fighting Machines appeared.

Which allows room for Liam Neeson to reprise his role as the Journalist - or Cliff Klavensburger, whichever’s easiest.

Look! There they are! What did I tell you?

Instead of being encased in carbonite, Han is transfigured into a waxwork - assuming the digital labs haven’t turned him into one already!

And finally, R2 falls through a rift in the film’s continuum when he is shot on Endor.

R2-D2, where are you!?

There! How’d ya like that, Georgie!? These are MY movies now! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Post
#695685
Topic
Jedi 30th Ann. screening at Pixar...of the original version!
Time

adywan said:

http://www.princecharlescinema.com/events/events.php?seasonanchor=jedi

This was supposed to have been a showing of the unaltered version but ended up being a digital showing of the blu-ray instead. How can you have it as a 30th anniversary with a version that is a year old? And no mention in the advertisment that is was NOT going to be the original and even attaching the original trailer for it. Bit of false advertising.

 Oh? Well I'm glad I didn't turn up then - I'd have walked out right as the first few notes of Jedi Rocks were being played!

Post
#695528
Topic
Worst Edit Ideas
Time

But wait! I’m still not done! Let’s also digitally remove the eyebrows off various characters at various points, just to annoy everyone!

Queen Armadillo

Bob Gunton

Ewan McDonald (mmm, mcdonalds)

The Admiral with a Motto

The General who Veers off course

John Landos

Add a few gonzo hats…

Can't see a blessed thing in this helmet

YARGH ME HEARTIES

Last of the Dagobah Wine

Han cutting open the Tauntaun tears a rift in the fabric of the film!

there is a great disturbance in time and space.

But above all… ENDOR HOLOCAUST. OH YEAHHHH.

BLAU!

OHHHHH JESUS

GLABLAUGH

DEATH AND DESTRUCTION

my hair is on fire

.

.

.

Oh, and Leia is now dressed as a banana.

Where'n the hell did that come from?

.

.

.

And let’s alter the hyperspace tunnel, just 'cause.

Actually it does kinda work

Post
#695365
Topic
Do you think Disney will release the unaltered versions for DVD and blue ray?
Time

deepanddark20 said:

If Disney releases the OUT, will they replace the 20th Century Fox fanfare/logo at the beginning? Even if the entire rest of the movie after that is the unaltered theatrical version, it still wouldn't be acceptable to me. I'm already having a hard enough time accepting the fact that every Star Wars movie from now on (starting with VII) will not open with the fox logo/fanfare... if Disney removes it from any of the previously released movies, I won't buy a copy.

 They probably wouldn't. Warner Bros. didn't replace the MGM logo at the start of the original Tom & Jerry cartoons.