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EddieDean

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Post
#1444939
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE]
Time

Right, I’m actually properly editing now! I’ve made some good progress through my episode zero, Dark Force Rising. This takes the Muunilinst/Hypori plots from the Tartakovsky microseries, and the intention is to give background to Anakin/Ventress/Grievous in advance of TCW:R proper.

I’ve been working through my notes, your feedback, and the suggestions for tightening Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship so it’s more in line with TCW. So far:

  • I’ve brought it all up to my TCW:R 2.0 standard in terms of presentation.
  • I’ve tidied up the transitions, and some frames which flashed white (in the original, but it was distracting). This includes fixing the shot I was never too happy with where Obi-Wan lands on the roof and the music cuts a bit too sharply.
  • I’m also listening to this all on my TV with soundbar so I can best affirm the audio mix.
  • I’ve cut out the young Anakin/Qui-Gon dream sequence, which never had a place anyway, but which might be additive to my Mortis and Yoda Quest episodes.
  • We now open on the scene in Palpatine’s chambers, establishing the plot, and I used Delpheas’ ideas and a few tweaks to sell the group’s confidence in Anakin. Now, Palpatine suggests including Anakin (“His exceptional skill will be quite useful”), Obi-Wan agrees (“Indeed”) and then Yoda does too (“True. With his master, a padawan’s place is. AND undeniably strong he has become.”) Palpatine then agrees (“Then it is decided.”)
  • I’ve reordered a little more of Muunilinst’s land and space battles, so that Anakin’s success in the air comes before Obi-Wan gets the Muun’s unconditional surrender, giving his skill a bit more weight. The air forces are just on mop-up when Anakin chooses to pursue Ventress. The whole flows a bit better now too, and is a bit more compelling.
  • Trimmed a “roger, roger”.
  • I’ve tightened up Anakin and Ventress flying over Obi-Wan, to make Anakin more responsible but still bold. Now, Obi-Wan says “Anakin, you’re supposed to be in space commanding our forces!” to which he immediately replies “Master, the battle here is more than won. [responding to settle Obi-Wan’s concerns and show he focused on the priority first] This is no droid pilot, and the force is with him. I can’t let him get away.” Obi-Wan warns him he’s being baited, but doesn’t order him to stay - Ventress is escaping so Anakin simply follows her very quickly.

Now, this is where I’ve stopped, and could do with some advice.

The scene in question is where Anakin and Ventress arrive on Yavin. Currently it plays as follows:

  1. Anakin arrives on Yavin
  2. Anakin explores the forest
  3. Anakin hears an explosion near his ship, and returns to it [[what is this?? there’s a burnt mark on the ground but no obvious target?? did the clones do this?? unclear]]
  4. The Clones sent by Obi-Wan land
  5. The Clones disembark, and Anakin and the Clones start a search
  6. The Clones get picked off one by one
  7. Anakin chases the last screaming clone back into the clearing
  8. The Clone ship explodes
  9. Anakin shouts “R4!” [[without really a reason to believe R4 is in trouble??]]
  10. Anakin’s ship (and R4) explode
  11. Anakin looks up from R4’s broken dome
  12. Ventress emerges

Now, You’ve got three options here:

  1. Keep it as is. Obi-Wan sent Clones after Anakin, and Ventress picks them off one by one before blowing up their ship a while later. This means Obi-Wan sent the Clones (less trusting/more protective of Anakin?) and Anakin’s got a good reason to be angry at her.
  2. Trim the scene of the Clones getting picked off in the woods. That’s quite a goofy scene, which is charming and Tartakovsky-like, but it does make Ventress more powerful than we see her again in TCW, in terms of picking up and throwing masses of people. Instead, you could have the Clone ship land, and as Anakin watches, it explodes before they even disembark. (There’s one Clone on the ground when it explodes, but I think you could just about work around that if you didn’t mind a few quick cuts here.)
  3. Trim the Clones altogether. Anakin lands and goes into the woods. His ship and R4 explode, which makes him run back to the clearing. This one’s very clean, though means that Obi-Wan didn’t send Anakin support (is that OK? It both makes Anakin a bit more reckless AND Obi-Wan a bit more trusting, or perhaps implies that Obi-Wan doesn’t have the means to track Anakin). It also means that Anakin’s mad at Ventress even though he didn’t just see her kill a squad. (Though he has been fighting her in the skies for an hour or so, so it’s pretty understandable that his blood’s boiling.) This would be most elegant, and also fixes those weird questions from the above list, if you guys think the Obi-Wan’s inaction and Anakin’s anger ramifications work.
Post
#1444897
Topic
The Prequel Radical Redux Ideas Thread
Time

Agreed, I’ve also found myself coming back to the idea since first reading about it.

It doesn’t even need to break wider canon, really. Having him not kill the kids IMMEDIATELY doesn’t mean that he wasn’t involved in later inquisitorial behaviour with a touch of child murder. It just means that we drop the element of “I have doubts about the Jedi” “OK how about becoming a child murderer?” “Yep.”

Post
#1444733
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE]
Time

Thanks very much! I’m hoping to get the next episode released this weekend. That should be the first of my polish pass through the series up to the new 2.x standard. The first couple of episodes - Tartakovsky, Christophsis, Malevolence, and then Ryloth - will take a little longer as I’ll be rethinking their plots a bit more, but the remainder of the existing ~30 episodes will be much more of a tightening than a re-edit, and then I’m back on with proper new stuff.

Glad you enjoyed the Tartakovsky episode. I won’t be making many changes to that, mainly just some dialogue trims to strengthen Obi-Wan’s opinion of Anakin.

That said, regarding Christophsis, I don’t want to make it any longer, and indeed I want to make it a little tighter. One of the pillars of my approach to this series edit is “Quality over length”, and I don’t want to artificially enlarge an episode to make it feel more cinematic. Cat & Mouse is fairly decent but focuses on the stealth ship, which I think raises too many questions this early in the show since it’s not seen again. It also delays our show’s focal protagonist (Ahsoka) and one of our season’s focal villains (Ventress). And Hidden Enemy had decent Ventress scenes, which I did include, but its other plot was the traitor clone. While decent, I didn’t want to have a traitor clone in focus so early in the show before we’ve got to know more of clone culture - though I did include that content in my season two clone individuality anthology episode.

The changes I think I’ll be making there though are some tightening of the start around the blockade and space battle situation, which is a bit muddy right now, and the partial or full removal of Bail, as much as I like his character. We’ll get through this episode fairly quickly - Ventress is there to distract/delay so that the Seppies can drop ground forces, then Ahsoka will join and help the Republic counterattack. It’s not a strong episode either way, so I think it’s best to get through it quickly rather than try to add to it.

I had considered merging Cat and Mouse and Hidden Enemy into a later ‘return to Christophsis’ episode too, where in context the traitor clone had leaked the stealth ship specs (to help explain why it doesn’t return), but ultimately still the stealth ship raises more questions than the value it gives us, and the Hidden Enemy stuff grouped with other clone focused stuff allowed me to produce a very strong little anthology which helps the viewer get used to clone variety and Rex, which was a useful focus going forward.

I did originally think I’d do something like Smudger and maybe mix my Christophsis episode with another (like the Domino Squad arc), but I think my recent reordering of the first season (not yet released) with a focus on how the season flows as a whole will go a long way towards making the beginning of the show more compelling and cohesive, much in the way a movie that hits many good connected beats would.

Regarding aspect ratio, it’s not something I’m really considering changing, mainly since the whole show is like that and if I’m changing the ratio I’m needing to think about framing in every scene. Plus, I think it’s something the viewer can accommodate quickly. I did consider using NumeralJoker’s sources initially - indeed they were the spark for this entire project since they presented each arc as a whole episode - but ultimately I found that I didn’t need the higher resolution because outputting any higher gave such little benefit relative to file size (looks great on my huge TV as it is, plus editing would have been slowed massively by using such large source files) and I didn’t think I needed the new colour timing, since to me it was relatively minor plus I could apply changes myself if needed.

Oh and Imhotep, I wanted to thank you once again for yet another wonderfully detailed post. This stuff is so so valuable to me in working on this project. I’d just had my second jab so I was full of the free trial of covid at the time, hence no reply, but it was a great read, and naturally I’ll be giving it lots of thought!

Post
#1444438
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

I think because “I am a Jedi” feels like it’s more appropriate as a conclusion to Rey’s story across the trilogy. She’s got her abandonment as a child and lonely life, her lessons with Luke, and the Kylo Ren and darkside temptations, and declaring herself a Jedi brings all of those together into her taking bold ownership of her position in the galaxy.

That’s why the change is accompanied by other changes to Palpatine’s preceding dialogue, where his lines are reshaped into effectively taunting her that she’s nothing.

As a lesser consideration, another factor is that “All the Sith”/“All the Jedi” feels a bit like it’s a cool thing to say but doesn’t quite hold up to scrutiny, and like she’s ONLY (or mainly) strong in the moment because she’s channeling all of the Jedi. It’s kind a comparison between a cool statement in the moment versus something that better ties together her arc across the trilogy.

Post
#1444426
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

I can’t wait. Selfishly, I’ve only seen TROS at the cinema the once when it first came out, and have resisted dipping back into it until the completion of this project.

I know we’re all here for the exact same reason so this is hardly a radical thing to say, but- FUCK MAN don’tcha just love the power of fanediting? With this edit and the other sequel tweaks to make them all that much more cohesive and smoothed out, this trilogy might well end up being as enjoyable as it always deserved to be, without that ever-present asterisk of ‘damn, that just didn’t hit right’.

Post
#1443519
Topic
STAR WARS: EP IV 2004 <strong>REVISITED</strong> ADYWAN *<em>1080p HD VERSION NOW IN PRODUCTION</em>
Time

I’m in favour of the inclusion of the Imperial March. This project has often called itself ‘what the special editions should have been’. They’ve never been particularly purist; they’ve been about bringing up the originals to a lovely, more modern standard. Vader in ANH was a lesser villain, yes, but his character was more striking than Lucas anticipated on ANH’s release, so much so that the saga from that point grew around him. Whether or not Lucas/Williams paired Vader with the Imperial March on his first appearance, the two are now paired. It’s entirely appropriate that a project that seeks to polish the original trilogy pair the two in ANH retroactively.

Post
#1443419
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE]
Time

JackNapier said:

That sounds great. An option could always be to put some of the unused episodes in a bonus season.

Yeah, absolutely. That’s long been the plan. All of those episodes I’m wanting to “cut out”, I’ll still be producing and making available.

I want there to be one ‘master’ version of the show, which is the tight, ‘complete’, best version of TCW, especially for the first-time viewer, or the Clone Wars skeptic.

And then I’ll produce all of those extra episodes - including fitting them properly into the chronology - for either people who know they like those episodes or who just have a bit more of a tolerance for quality, who just want more content even if it’s at the cost of breaking the flow a little.

I think it’s important to release the ‘core’, which turns TCW the anthology show into TCW:R the serial drama (in the vein of Bad Batch), first. That is one of the main missions of this project. But there’s no reason I can’t ultimately do both, and let people choose.

Post
#1443414
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE]
Time

I’ve continued reviewing and planning like a madman, working my way through the conclusion of the show. Thoughts and challenges:

  • Thinking about the very finale, the Siege of Mandalore quadrilogy splits neatly into two episodes of 45 mins each. That’s all well and good, but I think I should consider that really Revenge of the Sith is a necessary part of the Clone Wars journey as well. So really, at the end of your TCW:R journey, you’re watching both RotS and SoM (for four hours of content, or about five episodes in terms of me balancing the seasons) to conclude the show.
  • I don’t know how to present that finale. You could go RotS then SoM to best preserve SoM’s intensity. That’s the easy path. If you wanted to intercut them it’d become a hassle. There’re a lot of edits which combine the two into one super movie, of which I’ve only watched Delpheas’, but I think my preferred option would be to take a chronological intercutting of both and then turn them into ~5 individual episodes. Interested in ideas.
  • I wonder what’s the right balance between breaking this show by balanced seasons versus the overall flow. I’m also really torn on a few episodes I’ve always been unhappy with:
    • I think I have season one really tight now. There’s a potentional Ryloth follow-up episode focusing on Cham and Orn, with Obi-Wan, but I really don’t want to break the flow of season one for it.
    • Season two has a long period without the Anakin/Ahsoka relationship, though all of the episodes in that lull are strong and follow our established main plots. The only other place the Cham/Orn Ryloth episode could go is season two due to the Ahsoka model, but I think it’d push that lull too far.
    • Season three is tight and well balanced. I do not love the Citadel arc, which balances out the season, though I could potentially put the Kadavo arc there instead. There’s a chance I could use the Echo’s death audio here, and refer to the Kadavo palace as ‘The Citadel’, if we really wanted to have Echo die onscreen. Bear in mind that his death is already super throwaway in the Citadel arc. (I’ll check references to Echo’s death.)
    • Seasons four and five are both loose. The big plots are Ahsoka’s fall (and absence) and all of the mysteries. The mysteries do a lot of heavy lifting, but there’s not much of a throughline now. If Kadavo shifts, and if I drop the Ventress/Boba episode and the Younglings/Hondo episode, which I’d really like to do, we’ve got 12 episodes excluding the finale (in whatever form that takes). 12 feels OK for a season, whereas 17 (including the finale bits) feels like a lot. Then again, it is a finale, maybe we don’t give a shit, since shows can have variable seasons.
    • We also need to contend with the fact that this period of time has a lot more mixed media, with the ‘Anakin/Obi-Wan fireside chat’ (from the unfinished episode, so either as audio or using that HD youtube render with permission), then the audio comic for the Darth Maul episode, then the finale incorporating the live-action movie. So there may be a feeling of brokenness that I’d like to avoid as much as possible.
    • I feel like we’d get more value out of a tighter 12-episode season four (+ big finale), than two seasons of ~10. Treating the finale as its own thing probably makes some good sense too, since there’re a few options.
  • I did also think about breaking the show from 5 seasons of 10 episodes into 4x12 or 3x16. There were benefits to both, but ultimately I think the tightness of the first three seasons, where the show needs momentum and focus the most, remains sensible.

Thoughts, as always, very welcome.

(Oh, and sorry for being such a tease about returning to editing! I promise I’ll be actually producing actual content soon…)

Post
#1442954
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE]
Time

Slight change of plans - I had the opportunity to binge a lot more these last couple of days, so I decided to keep my ‘big picture’ hat on and review the season four and five content, plus some cut stuff, to continue to refine and plan for the whole.

We follow a season of shades of grey, temptation and compromise. Our third parties are on the rise. The Republic have successfully trained rebels on Onderon.

The theme of the season is “the Clone Wars challenge even the strongest wills”, as all our strong characters face their greatest struggles.

Currently I think season four is looking like this (note that episode names are their originals, not my final choices):

  1. SHADES OF REASON, where, after coming together near the end of season three, Maul and Death Watch take Mandalore. This doesn’t feature our main characters but placed first in the season it serves to elevate the tension, and turn those two long-running plotlines into a major focus for the remainder of the show.
  2. SLAVES OF KADAVO, which brings all our characters to Kadavo to traumatise the lot of them. Aesthetically, this is quite similar to Onderon, which is a shame, but after the opening focusing on Mauldalore, I think it’s right to start the season with all our main characters. And to give Kenobi a break until his next major trauma. I’ll pretty much skip the entire first episode, as that’s mainly action and exposition, and we’ll just dive into the slavery stuff quicker.
  3. BOUNTY, where Ventress meets with a free Boba Fett, and he’s a little bitch, but she does the noble thing. This is quite a weak episode, I think, because it’s almost all action with low stakes. Boba’s really weak and it doesn’t set up his future strength nor the ‘noble code’ or ‘ruthless bounty hunter’ traits he ends up with, so I actually think it’s a net loss for him. And Ventress’ small bit of growth, whilst technically setting her up for the Fall of Ahsoka arc, is really light touch. I could almost get rid of this entirely.
  4. YOUNGLINGS vs HONDO is also not super. Sure, it shows more of Ahsoka’s competence in training Younglings, but in a less dramatic way than her Trandoshan arc. The kids are fairly throwaway now they’re not getting their own spinoff. Grievous and Obi-Wan are OK, but I’d cut most of the space battle focus. I can tighten this one up, but it won’t be amazing. I’ll be cutting the first episode (where the younglings get their crystals) entirely, since it’s not a value add to our story. That’ll end up in the pool of ‘bonus episodes’ I produce later.
  5. MORTIS, as I discussed above, I’ll try to make mainly visions, but again it’s not great. At least it shows our main characters, which kind of balances the season out, but I don’t think it’ll land too well. Either way, I definitely think that here is the best place to put it - as late as possible before everything goes to shit.
  6. THE LAWLESS, where Obi-Wan and Satine’s arc concludes, and Maul’s dreams are destroyed by his master. Now we’re back in the real good shit. I think this works fine paced a few episodes after Shades of Reason.
  7. (/8) AHSOKA’S FALL. This can play out as two episodes - one up to the point where Ahsoka goes on the run, and the second where she’s recaptured and put on trial. I did think I might split this one around probably The Lawless, just to let a bit more time pass, and to further balance the season, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Though I might take the very first scene, of Anakin and Ahsoka on Neimoidia before they get called back to the Jedi temple, and use that elsewhere if I need to beef up another episode. It’s a nice moment to show their relationship’s maturity, but not strictly necessary here.

The only real issues I have with this season are the string of three weaker episodes (Ventress & Boba, Younglings vs Hondo, and Mortis), and the fact that it’s quite light on Anakin and Ahsoka’s relationship before her fall. Ideally there’d be something in this period of time which shows off their strength together and really gives Ahsoka a period of doubt in the Jedi order, but I don’t think there’s anything that’d do that nicely that fits in this period of time.

(Likewise, I actually think that my season two suffers from this as well, not having enough of the main squad together, much Obi-Wan, or much Anakin/Ahsoka time in the middle, and there’s no great option there either.)

Post
#1442794
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE]
Time

OK, having reviewed Mortis, there’re lots of opportunities to make that work, so I will pull that content out of this episode so that Mortis can use it.

I haven’t worked out how I’m going to break Mortis yet - that’s a long way away - but I definitely want to minimise the father, son, and daughter. There’s a lot of visions in there, and lots of content which could be turned from explicit activities into visions, so I think I’d rather keep it as a vision sequence. Sometimes Qui-Gon will show up (using the existing footage), and sometimes just be a whisper in their ear (using the above content).

In my headcanon, and the interpretation I’ll be aiming for with this content, Qui-Gon will have guided them to this area of dark force sensitive space (with ties to the World Between Worlds), to warn them and test them, and guide them through some challenges too. In the original newsreel, they were described as tracking a signal broadcasting a personal code from a 2000-years-ago Jedi, but I think I’ll make it explicit that it’s Qui-Gon’s code that’s being used as a mysterious lure. Also, one of Ahsoka’s visions here features her talking to future Ahsoka, which actually could be interpreted as Ahsoka from Rebels (guiding in parallel with Qui-Gon a little), since she does intersect with the World Between Worlds at one point. Or not, if the viewer prefers.

I’ll skip showing the diamond-shaped planet at all, skip the first landing and escape, and only use the second (crash) landing, since more happens around that point. Having the characters end the episode by just waking up on the ship with no time passed and acknowledging it’s weird solves a lot of potential problems. I probably won’t use the scene (or at least the shot) with the actual Darth Vader mask appearing, because it’s just way too HEY HAVE YOU SEEN STAR WARS?

The question then - one for another day - becomes what content to include in their visions, and in what order, and how much to balance it being a dream versus it being real. It’s odd that they just drive around this dreamscape on regular speeders, for example.

I know Morai is important to the future of Ahsoka, so I will preserve the scene of Anakin using the daughter to heal Ahsoka, but that’ll be tough as I’d really like to remove all of the surrounding Father/Son/Daughter family drama. I want those characters to be loosely-defined metaphors, so I might end up having to lean heavily on foggy VFX and audio reverb. One thing I might add to the sequence of Anakin’s visions of the future might be the audio of Palpatine saying “use the force to create life”, to better set up his later choice to do the daughter/Ahsoka thing. I’ll also see if I can simply have Sister called Morai instead.

Before I properly work on this I’ll also review all of the Family/WBW content in Rebels too.

Anyway. I can put all those thoughts to one side for now. Onwards to s01e00.

Post
#1442783
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE]
Time

Wonderful Paja, thank you very much.

I’m coming now to properly (re)editing in order, which means starting with s01e00 DARK FORCE RISING, the episode I’ve cut from the main Anakin/Ventress plots of the Tartakovsky miniseries.

It’s tough to judge quite how much to refine this, since Tartakovsky has such a unique style that’s part of the charm, although it is action-heavy and not tonally consistent with a lot of the Clone Wars content that follows. I’ll take some of Delpheas’ suggestions and a few more ideas I’ve had, and see what comes out the other end.

There’s also that odd scene of young Anakin talking to Qui-Gon, which wasn’t really connected to any of the other content, which I had shifted up front as a kind of ‘hint at what’s to come’. But on review, I realised that a better place for some of that audio might be my Mortis episode.

I know some like Mortis, but I never have, mainly because it’s so so on the nose, un-subtle, and demystifying. So it was always my plan to turn it into much more of a mysterious vision quest populated by strange entities who at least aren’t super explicit about “I AM THE DARKSIDE” etc. Making it more of a vision, it might work well to include some of that Qui-Gon content, to imply that he may be more connected to the events on Mortis. There’re some good lines:

  • Anakin, it calls to you
  • You must enter it, alone
  • Control your fear
  • You are the chosen one
  • You must be tested
  • Your final test is at hand
  • Trust in the force

Some of these could be used during the arrival/set up, and some could be support during their Mortis adventure.

Post
#1442635
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE]
Time

Right, I think I’ve finally broken the structure of season three. This took more effort than I expected! The theme is ‘Shades of Grey’, as almost every person compromises or has their perspective challenged, and the third parties grow in power. The secondary plots are Lux (+Ahsoka) and the bringing together of Mandalore and Maul.

Season two, which precedes this, ends with the reveal of the new droid factory. Maul and Savage are at large (playing pirates), Mandalore is safely neutral, but we haven’t seen the Death Watch for a good while.

The episodes we have in season three are:

  1. THE POLITICS OF WAR, where Padmé and Ahsoka meet Lux, and Padmé ‘successfully’ stops the creation of more clones. I think this’ll hit well after the reveal of more droids, but it’s not heavy on the rest of our main cast, unlike the other premieres and finales. I think it should still go first though, because it sets up all of the season’s plots.
  2. THE DEATH OF OBI-WAN KENOBI (Rako Hardeen arc), the way I’ve cut it, is high on Obi-Wan but also gives a lot of time to absolutely all of our main cast, for a huge fun adventure with big stakes and emotions for everyone. It also gets Anakin’s doubt in the council in early. For a long time I thought about making this the premiere, because it’s such a rounded episode, but PoW sets up the season as a whole better.
  3. DISSENT ON UMBARA, is this season’s ‘clone focus’ episode, which I’ve typically put towards the middle. But we’ve just had an ‘everyone’ episode, so we can have one that focuses on others. This’ll also work nicely after Padmé reducing our supply of clones, since Krell’s big thing is throwing away clones. And paced from that by an episode, it allows a little time to have passed in-universe for Krell to get established with that goal (now that he’s actively Separatist). This episode also has a little Anakin and Obi-Wan, so we don’t miss them as much with-
  4. A FRIEND IN NEED, is a great Ahsoka/Lux/Death Watch story, that pushes forward a lot of our main plots. It ends with Lux leaving until the finale, which gives him enough time to get established on Onderon. I may rename this to something like TEMPTATION, since Death Watch are a temptation for Lux, and Lux is a temptation for Ahsoka. Open to ideas here.
  5. PIRATES OF THE OUTER RIM, which features Obi-Wan chasing down Maul (explaining his absence from last episode if you like), and leaves Maul floating in space. I wrestled with putting this earlier to imply that Obi-Wan has been actively pursuing Maul more aggressively, but ultimately that wasn’t enough of a value add compared to other priorities.
  6. HUNTED, starts and ends with Anakin and Ahsoka (but not Obi-Wan, which is neat given the previous episode) and gives us another Ahsoka solo episode. That’s OK, this season is about pushing her on her own. It also lightly reminds us about the success of training the natives on Felucia, which will come into play in the finale.
  7. CITADEL, which I’m reinstating as core, was necessary to include since it gives us everything we’re missing in terms of pacing, at this point in the season. Minor bonus: Echo’s death (even though it’s really throwaway). Major bonus: Since the Rako Hardeen arc shows Anakin’s frustration with the council, we can play that up here as he grows closer to the more imperial Tarkin. I might put some background "Echo"s in the Umbara episode just to imply he’s still part of the squad at that point in time (just not a focal character).
  8. SHADOW COLLECTIVE now has a bit more room to exist since it’s surrounded by two episodes with our main characters while it has none, and finally brings Maul and Mandalore together, ready to kickoff next season. It’s also far enough from Rako Hardeen that we don’t have bounty hunters clashing.
  9. (/10.) REBELS/KINGS OF ONDERON Gives us all our main characters, plus rebellion, plus Saw Gerrera, plus solo Ahsoka, plus Ahsoka learning to let go via the conclusion of the Lux plotline. A worthy finale.

Season four, which follows this, begins with Maul and Death Watch actually taking Mandalore (our first and only season premiere not following a main protagonist).

Post
#1442614
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE]
Time

Minor question: At the end of the Onderon episode, Dooku tells Kalani (the droid general) to pull the troops back to Agamar. Later, in Star Wars Rebels, the rebels fight a bunch of droids and Kalani on Agamar.

I could keep that as is.

However, I could also change Dooku’s dialogue, so he’s pulling the forces back to wherever we see them next. Nice for flow, and it doesn’t technically change the fact that Kalani + troops could end up on Agamar. But it could imply a bit more threat for wherever is named.

What do you guys think?

Post
#1442597
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE]
Time

Amazing, thanks! I really appreciate it. Here’s a quick screen test. What do you guys think?

A couple of thoughts, if nitpicking is OK Paja:

  • I wonder if we should keep the ‘THE’? Not sure on this one. Technically this whole show will still be ‘The Clone Wars’ (and the ‘Refocused’ of my edit won’t appear in the opening title).
  • The ‘E’ slightly overlaps the rightmost edge of the imaginary box described by the horizontal bars - could the ‘CLONE WARS’ be slightly reduced/shifted so that it fills that box?
  • Perhaps a little more spacing between ‘WARS’ and the lower horizontal bar? The same as the distance between the top horizontal bar and the ‘C’ in ‘CLONE’ feels about right? Or maybe all three gaps (the one above CLONE, the one between CLONE and WARS, and the one below WARS) should be the same as the one between CLONE and WARS?
  • Not sure if this is possible, since I’d guess the way this was done was by tracing over the lettering, but can ‘CLONE WARS’ be sharpened at all? It looks a little blurry to my eyes, though I don’t think that’s a major issue.